


Crazy Coincidence

by Fleppy85



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 100,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24990952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fleppy85/pseuds/Fleppy85
Summary: 2 years after Sara & Sofia left Vegas they meet in L.A.. Both are in the same motel, both check in together and find out they'll live a week door to door with each other.
Relationships: Sofia Curtis/Sara Sidle
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

Sunday, 8th of July

Sometimes life brings random meetings in your life for a good reason. Most of the time we don’t get the reason right away; we need some time to figure it out, in order to know why we ended up there, in that position, with this person.   
It wasn’t that Sara felt bad or annoyed when she entered the reception room of the motel in Silver Lake, Los Angeles, she was simply surprised. Sofia Curtis was there, standing only a few feet away from her. Nobody else was around. Sara hadn’t seen the detective in ages. After Sara had her awful night under the car in the desert, after Sofia helped to rescue Sara, Sofia vanished. No good-bye, no telephone number, nothing. The two women had never been very close - but it would have been nice if Sofia had said goodbye. On the other hand, Sara left Vegas a couple of weeks later in almost exactly the same way. So she couldn’t be mad at the blonde detective.   
“Sofia?” Maybe Sara was wrong and it was just someone who looked like Sofia.   
The blonde woman turned around at the call of her name. Surprise came to her face followed by a little soft smile.   
“Sara! How are you?” Sofia didn’t move. She only looked at Sara, unsure what to do, how to react. Should she hug Sara? Should she shake her hand?   
“I’m fine, thanks. How are you?”   
“I’m good.”   
“I’m sorry, but you have to sign here,” said the woman at the reception desk, saving the two women from the first awkward period of silence. Both were thinking of what to say next.   
Sara knew she had never been a friend to Sofia, but they had not had any problems working together. At least not after the first couple of months. But they never were friends. And Sofia had never managed to get close to the investigator, no matter what she’d tried. Sara had this invisible wall around herself and she never offered Sofia help to climb over this wall.   
“Sure.” Sofia signed her form and got her key. Room seventeen.   
“How long are you here for?” Sara asked when she moved closer to the reception to check in.   
“The whole week. You?”   
“Same.”   
“I can give you a room next to each other,” the receptionist offered.   
The women looked at each other. Was is impolite so say, That’s not necessary? That they were old colleagues but not friends? Or should they take the offer, as it didn’t really matter if their rooms were next to each other, they were in the same motel anyway. There wasn’t a rule that said you had to spend time together when you lived next to each other.   
“Sure,” Sara said and she started to fill in the form and get room key eighteen.   
Caught in a new little pause, Sofia looked at the receptionist and asked about takeout delivery service. The woman handed her a few flyers.   
“If you’re hungry too we can have a bite,” Sofia offered. Having something from the take-away delivery service wasn’t like a real dinner. It was short and after that, she could pretend she was tired and needed to sleep.   
“Sounds good, I’m starving.” It was late in the afternoon and Sara hadn’t had lunch. She left home in the late morning and drove the whole way without a break, determined to arrive in Los Angeles as early as possible. Of course there had been traffic jams and she had nothing to eat with her in the car. She never had anything to eat with her, she was glad when she had found a half full bottle of water under the passenger seat.   
They took their bags and went to their rooms.   
“Um, why don’t you come over in five minutes after we both get settled down?” Sofia tried not to end up in a silence again.   
“Okay.” A little smile came to Sara’s face and that eased Sofia’s mind. Sara opened her door and went into her room. Relieved to have the chance to sort her thoughts Sara dropped her bag on a little sofa and fell backwards on her bed. Hard and soft at the same time, if she would sleep badly it wasn’t because of the bed.   
What the hell is Sofia doing here? It wasn’t anything personal; it wasn’t that she especially disliked the fact that the detective was here, she just wasn’t prepared to see anybody from her old work place. She wasn’t prepared to have her past thrown in her face. She didn’t feel like talking about the ‘good old times’ in Vegas and the thought of hundreds of questions about her new life didn’t make her happy either. Telling Sofia all she wanted was time for herself would have been rude. There was no real reason to avoid the other woman. For Christ’s sake, she helped to rescue me in the desert! Sara thought she should feel something like a huge desire to thank Sofia. It’s not like they had a fight. It was only…Sara didn’t know why she felt like she did.   
She got herself up, walked in the bathroom, splashed some cold water in her face, changed into something casual, placed the fruits and the rest of the food she’d bought before she arrived in the little fridge and took a look out of her window. A few trees, a house and two kids playing with a ball on the street. It seems like she was in a quiet place, thank God for that.   
Sighing, she took her room key and closed the door behind herself. A little chat, some good food, that was all. She could excuse herself after an hour or so. She had had a long drive, had to get up early tomorrow, she couldn’t stay with Sofia the whole night.   
Lightly she knocked on Sofia’s door. Within seconds the detective opened the door and Sara was stunned. How the hell did Sofia manage to have a shower and a complete changeover in only five minutes? Probably she had made a phone call in this time as well.   
“Sorry.” Sofia gestured to her hair while she let Sara in. “I needed a shower, hope you don’t mind having me around with wet hair.”   
“Not at all. We could have met in half an hour.” Sara would have taken a shower then as well.   
“Aren’t we both starving?” Sofia smirked.   
“Yes.” Sara couldn’t disagree with that. Especially not with her stomach telling her she needed to eat.   
“You are a vegetarian, would Thai suit you?”   
“Sounds perfect.”   
Both women took a seat on the couch. Sara needed only one look to see that Sofia’s room looked the same as hers. But Sofia’s bed was on the opposite side of the room. In fact, they would sleep head to head that night, with only the wall in between.   
It took them only a few moments to make their decisions and call the restaurant. Sara was amazed at how easily Sofia could get the person on the other end of the phone to put their order on to the top of his list. It would only take twenty minutes and their food would be here.   
“I’m gonna count the minutes,” Sofia said after she put the phone down.   
“You had no lunch?” What an obvious question.  
“Nah, no time. I left San Jose before lunch and drove the whole way without a break.”   
“San Jose?” Did she say San Jose? Sofia was working in San Jose, only a short distance from San Francisco.   
“Yeah, I left Vegas to go to San Jose. After all those years of heat and sunshine I needed a little bit of a cool weather. It’s perfect, not too far away from San Francisco, but closer to the national parks so that a hiking trip doesn’t take up too much driving time.” Sofia placed her feet under her body and turned so she could face Sara.   
The investigator took her time and studied the detective. She hadn’t really changed. Sofia’s eyes were still ice-blue, they still seemed to be very interested in everything they saw, and she seemed to be in a perfect balance with herself. It really looked like San Jose was good for Sofia.   
“So you’re detective in San Jose, what are you doing here?”   
“I’m gonna be a lieutenant soon.”   
“Really?” So Sofia was still following in her mother’s footsteps. Lieutenant, the last step before captain, the same rank her mother held.   
“Yes, I take all the tests this week, here, in Los Angeles. I could have done it up north but it’s a bigger challenge to do it here, where I don’t know anybody. And the weather forecast was good.” She laughed. Maybe she missed the sun a little bit. Sometimes. But she didn’t miss working night shifts, in her new job she could actually see the day.   
“Good luck with that.” And Sara was a little surprised that she meant the words from the bottom of her heart. She wished the detective all the luck for her tests.   
“Thanks, I need it.”   
“I’m pretty sure you’ll be fine.”   
“Hopefully. What’s about you?”   
“I’ve got a seminar downtown this week.”   
“Only you? What about the rest of the team?” She knew it, questions about her job would come. Oh well, of course Sofia would ask, as when she left, Sara was still with the team and they were both on the same team for a time. Of course wanted to know how the other guys were.   
“I’m not with the LVPD anymore.”   
“Oh,” was all that Sofia said. Sara expected the next question would be something about her and Grissom. After all, the whole team knew about Sara and Grissom’s relationship after the kidnapping.   
“You are still a CSI?”   
“Yes. In Fresno.”   
“Fresno?” The city had not had the best reputation in the past, but Sara thought it was a lovely place to be.   
“I know, it’s not the world’s favorite but I like it and I can go out in the forest for hikes. There’s so much nature around me and compared to Las Vegas not so much crime.”   
This explanation must surely bring Sofia to Grissom as nature was the perfect place for his favorite pastime, studying bugs. Again Sara expected a question about him next.   
“That means we’re both away from Vegas, both took a place closer to nature and we both ended up in Los Angeles at the same time. Crazy coincidence.” That was all Sofia has to say? No more questions about my private life?   
“Yes.”  
“And the guy has got only a few minutes to make his promise come true.” Sofia glanced at her watch and started laughing when Sara’s stomach loudly showed its support.   
“Sorry.” Sara had to smile. Her body had taken over.   
“You’re absolutely right.” Sofia suddenly jumped up and grabbed into her bag that was half under the couch. She got a bag with candies out and held it in front of Sara’s face.   
“Candy?”   
“Weren’t you ever told that you shouldn’t eat candies before dinner?”   
“That was one of the things I swore to myself as a child I’d never do when I was an adult. I made a promise to myself I’d eat all the candy I want whenever I want it. Candy?”   
She smiled widely. Sara had no choice but to grab in the candy bag and smile too.   
“I think you can eat candy before, during, and after dinner, it won’t kill your hunger, that’s only a lie parents tell their children to force some healthy food in them. It’s the same with cola. What a stupid lie – like you can’t sleep when you drink cola. I live on caffeine and I sleep every night like a baby. When you work hard your body takes the sleep, no matter if it had caffeine or not.”   
“How do you like working day times?” Sara asked.   
“It’s a relief. I mean I really enjoyed working with you guys, but the night shift wasn’t my shift. I prefer to have a breakfast before work, to go jogging in the sunset and finish the day with a glass of wine on my balcony, watching the city switching on the lights for the night. And did you know that a midnight movie has it own flair?”   
“I heard that somewhere.”   
“Fresno has a CSI night shift?”   
“No, we have one shift and that’s enough.”   
“Isn’t that a step back in your career?” Sofia’s voice made it clear to Sara that she didn’t have to answer this question. It was more like a question for the sake of a question.   
“I’m the supervisor,” Sara said.   
“Really?”   
“Yeah, we’re a team of four, and with the lab, seven. Most of times when we get something bigger, we send the stuff to San Francisco.”   
“A lovely quiet place.”   
“Yes.”   
“A supervisor.” Sofia couldn’t stop smiling.   
“You think I wouldn’t be a good supervisor?”   
“No. Actually I think you’d be a great supervisor. You know so many things and you…you know how to handle people.”   
“Hm?” Sara couldn’t help but stare at Sofia as if the other woman had said something in Chinese. She knew how to handle people? Usually people told her she wasn’t a people person, at all! Her own biggest concern, when they offered her the position, was that she couldn’t lead a team. That she would – at some point – shut them out. So far this hadn’t happened, but she expected it to come along every day.   
“Oh Sara, how honest can I be?” Sofia laughed.   
Good question. Did Sara want to hear an honest answer from Sofia? Did she really want to know what the other woman thought about her? Or would she prefer to smile and have Sofia simply tell her a lovely lie? In this way there was a chance the evening wouldn’t be destroyed before they even touched dinner.   
Before Sara could answer somebody knocked on the door.   
“Finally.” Sofia jumped up and was at the door in what Sara considered a record time. Before the delivery guy could say much she gave him some money, which according to his smile was a good tip, for being on time, and had the door closed.   
“Foooooooooood!”   
She dropped the bags on Sara and ran to the kitchen. Sara wasn’t sure if she was happy that the delivery boy saved her from a delicate answer or if she thanked him for being that fast with the food. Her stomach definitely went for the last point.   
Sofia handed her a fork and a spoon, ready to start dinner. Sara opened the bag and her stomach started to scream under the influence of all the good smells coming out of the bag. “I’m sooo with you, Sara’s stomach.” Sofia said and opened her box, pushing the spoon deep in the rice. “That was just about time.”   
“Absolutely.” Sara decided to eat her spring roll with her fingers. Hot and spicy tofu with vegetables made her feel happy. Man, this was the best part of the day so far.   
Sara didn’t spend an hour with Sofia - they spent the whole evening together, talking, watching some TV, complaining that they didn’t have any wine or beer, and just relaxing.   
Around 11 p.m. Sara finally rose.   
“I think it’s time to go to bed. I mean, I only have a seminar tomorrow, I’m gonna sit there and listen, you will have to do something.”   
“Yes. I’ll have my last courses before the first tests.”   
“You need some sleep but I think you won’t have any problems with all those tests.”   
“Thanks, I’ll try not to disappoint you. What do you think about dinner tomorrow?” Sofia asked.   
“Sure. I finish around five.”   
“Six.”   
“That means I’ll organize our dinner. Salad and pizza?” “Beer and wine?”   
“I guess I can get all four things for us.”   
“Now that sounds like a promise I’d like you to keep. Enjoy your seminar.”   
“I will.”   
Sara left Sofia’s room. Just before she entered her own room Sofia’s head poked out and she called Sara’s name.   
“Sara?”   
“Yes?”   
“You are good with people, simply take it.” Before Sara could say something or react, Sofia went back in the room and the door was locked.   
Sara shook her head and closed the door behind herself. What was she supposed to do with this last sentence? She knew she hadn’t been easy to work with for Sofia in her first weeks. As time went along it got better, but calling Sara a people person was too much. She didn’t mind people, it was simply that most of the time she enjoyed having some time for herself. All the social interaction she needed she got while she was working.   
Sara stripped down her clothes and stepped into her shower, welcoming the hot water with a relieved sigh.   
Good with people. She was a good supervisor, at least that’s what her boss told her and she never got any complaints from the people she worked with. They knew she’d worked for eight years in Vegas and before that in San Francisco, they knew she was qualified for the job. They met up after work, they went together to dinner once a month. She wasn’t sure if she would consider them as good friends, but they were friends. Not too close, but close enough to care for each other and take care of each other.   
With wet hair Sara got in bed and turned off the light. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that she and Sofia had met up here. 

  


  
  
Monday, 9th of July  
  
“How was your day?” Sara asked as she lifted her sunglasses. Half an hour ago she had made the decision to enjoy the evening sun on the balcony of the motel. With a book and a cold beer she made herself comfortable on one of the wooden chairs.   
Sofia grimaced. Her day was like a trip to hell and back. “Awful.”   
She let herself drop on the chair next to the investigator. “Mind?” Her eyes were on the beer, Sara noticed, even behind the typical black shades.   
“Go ahead.”   
“Thanks.”   
With one move Sofia had the bottle on her lips and only a blink later it was empty.   
“Sorry. But if it makes you feel better, that was exactly what I needed.”   
“I bought a six pack, don’t worry about it. Want another one and wine with your pizza?”   
“You truly got pizza, wine, and beer?” Sofia was speechless. She thought Sara might have forgotten about their dinner. The Sara she used to know definitely would have.   
“Pizza is here in twenty minutes. I wasn’t sure what you prefer so I ordered a small veggie and a big one with a quarter pepperoni, mushrooms, chicken and seafood. And two small salads.”   
“You are the greatest.” Sofia could barely stop an urge to hug the other woman. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be done with my shower.”   
“You’ve got twenty.” Sara smiled. “No need to hurry.”   
“No need to hurry? You mentioned a six pack of beer!” Laughing, Sofia got up and let herself in her room. Yes, the day had been exhausting, but it seemed like the evening would make up for it. So would her shield as a lieutenant, but at the moment, cold beer and pizza were closer.   
She stripped off her clothes before she even entered the bathroom and jumped under the water before it was warm. The cold water on her hot skin made her gasp. That. Was. Fresh. Holy Moley. She enjoyed the moment when her body got used to the refreshing water and slowly started to relax, welcoming the warm water that eased away the pain in her back. With the water beating on her back as a light massage, Sofia began to wash her hair and her body. She had twenty minutes but she didn’t want to spend them all under the shower. Not because of the beer, or not only - she was really looking forward to have a cold beer, but she also was looking forward to talk to Sara. Didn’t that sound strange? Or at least unusual.  
Sara. To be honest, Sofia hadn’t been all that happy when she realized who was checking in after her yesterday. Sara Sidle. She knew she couldn’t pretend she didn’t know the other woman. She knew she couldn’t avoid offering to have dinner together, it would have been rude, but she wasn’t pleased. Sara had never been somebody easy to talk to, not when it wasn’t work related. It had always been like the brunette investigator didn’t want anybody poking around her private life. Something Sofia could understand to a point. But it was hard – if not impossible – to have a conversation that wasn’t work related, and not touch on one’s private life. Somehow she managed it yesterday. Somehow she had enjoyed her time with Sara yesterday. And somehow she was looking forward to having another evening with Sara.   
She knew if she would start to poke around Sara’s private life, the evening would be over before it started. She knew if she wanted to talk with Sara about private things, she had to give her some space, some way to answer questions without feeling interrogated and without the pressure of answering them. Not exactly what she was trained for. Actually the exact opposite of what she was trained to do.   
When Sofia came back out on the balcony the beer was waiting for her.   
“Out of the fridge a minute ago,” Sara said before Sofia could say anything. “Should be thirty-nine degrees, that’s the best temperature to drink a beer. I read somewhere that in Germany they brew their beer at a temperature of thirty-nine degrees and if they know anything, it’s how to make a good beer.”   
Sofia took a sip. “Don’t get me wrong but I love you! Nobody else ever did something so wonderful for me.”   
“Like what?”   
Sofia was relieved to see that Sara was laughing. As soon as she had said ‘I love you’, she regretted it, anxious that Sara would take it wrong.   
“Like giving me an ice cold beer after a shower so that the last five minutes until the pizza arrives won’t be too long. Especially after a day in hell.”   
“You’re welcome.” Simple as that. Sara wouldn’t ask. She didn’t like it when people asked her questions, so she didn’t do it herself either.   
“You know if we both survive this week successfully we should celebrate.” It was more a thought than an actual statement. Sofia didn’t mean to say it loud, it was supposed to be more of a mental note to herself.   
“If we survive?” Sara was amused. “I didn’t know it was about life and death.”   
“Trust me, becoming a lieutenant is like dying.”   
“So you’re one step closer to…whatever comes after life.”   
“What do you think comes after life?”   
“As a scientist? We die and that’s it. Our body stops working and that is our end.”   
“Is there another part in you? A part that isn’t a scientist?” Sofia said with a teasing tone. Maybe that was a way to get some private insight into Sara Sidle. It wasn’t too personal, but it was a start.   
“Spirit and soul you mean? I’m not sure if there’s a spirit or if it’s only the memory of us. Maybe there’s a spirit of dead people around us, maybe it’s only us blaming something because we can’t let go.”   
“I think the spirit or the soul of the people who were close to us are still there after they’ve left.” Sofia took another sip. “At least the good ones. I’m with you that the spirit of the people who were bad only seem to be here because we can’t let them go, need to blame them for our comfort. But the spirit of people we loved, who loved us, is with us, protecting us. Evil people don’t deserve a spirit, their spirit dies when they become evil, so it dies while they’re still alive.” Sofia couldn’t remember the last time she had such a conversation. It was a little bit strange.   
A car with a big pizza advertisement atop it stopped in front of the motel. Sara stood up.   
“This time it’s on me.”   
“Okay.”   
“The wine is inside. I guess wine goes better with pizza than beer. You wanna eat inside or outside?”   
Sofia took a look around. Nobody was there, they could go on eating outside, there was no need to look for privacy inside. And for what reason should she need privacy with Sara Sidle?   
“Let’s enjoy the sun as long as it’s here.”   
“Okay.” Sara went down to get their food.   
Sofia got the wine and two glasses and placed them on a third chair that they could use as a table. A fourth chair gave both women the chance to lay their feet on it. Sitting on a balcony, having wine, pizza and salad, watching the sunset? Life could be worse.   
“How was your seminar?”   
“Interesting. We used a new machine that gives us the results of DNA test in only half the time the old machines do. A faster result on DNA means a faster warrant, a faster answer to questions and a faster arrest. Unfortunately I’ll get this baby in Fresno at a time when there’ll be around a dozen machines that are even newer and faster. The CSI office is not exactly the top priority in Fresno.”   
“Fresno is not known as the capital of crime in America or California.”   
“No, thanks for that. I quite enjoy a quiet day. But with this comfortable quiet I’ll never have the newest version of machines in the lab.”   
“Trouble and new techniques on the one side, a quiet place and older stuff on the other side. What will be your choice, Miss Sidle? Time is running out, left or right. Tick, tick, tick.” Sofia giggled and imitated an old game show jingle.   
“Crazy woman,” Sara laughed. She had made her decision already.   
“Maybe that’s the alcohol. Almost two bottles of beer on an empty stomach, the alcohol could enter my brain without a problem.”   
“I guess it’s your personality, not the alcohol,” Sara teased.   
“Well, thanks for that.”   
“My pleasure.”   
“I wanted to share my candy with you, now I have to think about it.”   
“That’s alright, I’ve got ice cream.”   
“You have got WHAT?” Sofia’s eyes almost popped out of her head. Sara had ice cream? Ice cream! And she didn’t mention that earlier? Sofia might never have found out if she hadn’t mentioned the candy.   
“Sure, it’s a warm day, I figured ice cream would be a great dessert. But if you prefer a candy bar...”   
“Don’t you dare not share that ice cream with me, Sara Sidle! I’ve got a weapon and I will use it if I have to!”   
“That would be an abuse of your weapon.” Sara was amused. Now she knew how she could make Sofia do whatever she liked, she only needed some ice cream. Hopefully none of the criminals in San Jose had figured that out.   
“I don’t care. It’s for a higher power.”   
“Would you be alright with having the ice cream a little bit later? I’m actually quite full after the pizza and the salad. We could have another beer and then ice cream.” “As long as there will be ice cream for me this evening I’m fine with everything. What kind of ice cream?”   
“You’re the detective, go detect.” Sara smiled widely.   
“I heard that before,” Sofia mumbled. “Thirty-something suspects and I was supposed to find them all.”   
“There’s only one freezer in my room.”   
“And I’m almost a lieutenant.”   
“Almost. As long as you’re still a detective, you can detect.”   
“What do you think I’ll do when I’m a lieutenant?”   
“Send somebody to detect?”   
“Maybe. A CSI for example.”   
“Thank God I’m a supervisor, I can send somebody to find the evidence.”   
“So you’re a lazy pen-pusher now?”   
“No, I pick the nicest cases for myself and investigate them. When I know there’s a detective at the scene I don’t like, I take another case and go there.”   
“How could you not like a detective?”   
“Maybe if it’s a snobby blonde?”   
“You’re on thin ice, Sidle.”   
“I’m the one with the ice cream, Curtis.”   
“I know where it is, the door is open, there’s no way you could stop me. I’m on my way to become a lieutenant, I can take you out in two seconds.”   
“Really?” Sara looked at the detective, very amused. “Really.”   
“Lucky for us I always intended to share with you. Under the condition that you’ll organize dinner tomorrow night.”   
Another dinner? And Sara was the one who suggested it. It really looked like they were both enjoying these times together. Sofia definitely was. She couldn’t remember ever having talked to the brunette so easily and so relaxed.   
“Who said I wanna have dinner with you tomorrow?” she teased Sara.   
“The fact that you won’t find anybody better than me to have dinner with. The fact that you enjoyed this dinner. The fact that this is better than having some fast food in a fast food place. And if all that doesn’t count – but I know it does – the fact that I’ll have enough ice cream for two evenings.” Sara smirked.   
“Interesting facts, I have to say. What would you like to have?”   
“Surprise me.”   
“Okay, I can do that.”   
After all, Sara had surprised Sofia in the last 24 hours several times. The new Sara Sidle was full of positive surprises. 

  


  
Tuesday, 10th of July  
  
“I can’t see any food.” Sara looked down at Sofia. Again she arrived an hour before the detective and had already taken a seat on the balcony.   
“Food’s here in thirty.” Sofia dropped a bag in front of Sara.   
”What’s that?”   
“You’re the investigator, investigate. I’m having a shower.” Sofia threw a grin at Sara and went in her room.   
“She’s getting cheeky.”   
Sara opened the bag. Sweets, fruits and a bottle of Irish Cream. Together with another six pack of beer. After this week Sara would have to take a break from alcohol. But she had to say it was very nice to sit here with Sofia, drinking some beer, talking and…well, having a damn good time. Yes, she really had a good time with Sofia.   
Using the last space in her fridge, she put the food in, turned on the radio and looked for her favorite radio station. Classic hits in the background, another gorgeous sunset ahead and hopefully a nice dinner. With all that, she didn’t feel guilty for having a good time while her colleagues had to work.   
“You need too much time for your shower,” was all what Sara said when Sofia was back and looking at the beer. It had been out of the fridge for five minutes so the best drinking temperature was gone.   
“If you wash my back tomorrow I’d be faster,” Sofia answered dryly.   
Sara raised an eyebrow. “You’re dreaming.”   
“No, I’m mocking you.” Sofia regretted the sentence the second she said it. She wasn’t sure if her relationship with Sara was good enough to come up with such a joke.   
“Even worse. What’s for dinner?”   
“You’ll see in…” Sofia looked at her watch, “less than five minutes.” She opened a beer, sat down next to Sara and got her legs up on a chair.   
“Any new machines for you today?”   
“No, today was a listening day. We had half a dozen speakers from different crime labs and two scientists. Very interesting but very exhausting. I was very thankful when it was over.”  
“Anybody there you know?”   
“Actually yes. My old boss from San Francisco.”   
“San Francisco?”   
“Sure, I used to work there before I came to Vegas. I thought you knew that.”   
“No, I didn’t.” Sofia got up as a car pulled into the car park.   
Sara watched the blonde go down to it. The advertisement on the car told her she would have Mexican for dinner. Hot and spicy burritos, perfect with beer and the ice cream with fruit would be a great counterpart to the main menu.   
“Green is for you, red is for me.” Sofia handed her a rolled bag. “Vegetarian burrito.”   
“Exactly what I wanted.”   
“Remember that I know what’s good for you.”   
“Do you?” Sara chuckled.   
“Sure. I passed my first test, I’m going be a lieutenant soon, so I know what’s good for you and everybody else.”   
“Congratulations. Let me guess...you passed it magna cum laude.”   
“Summa cum laude.”   
"Libenter homines id, quod volunt, credunt."   
“What?”   
“People prefer to think what they like. Libenter homines, id quod volunt, credunt. It’s a quote of Caesar’s.”   
“You spend too much time with books and geeks.”   
“I am a geek,” Sara told her.   
“I forgot that. You seemed so human the last two days.”   
“Thanks.” Sara snorted. Maybe she should threaten Sofia with the ice cream again. The blonde was much nicer when she feared losing the dessert.   
“You do any sports? Beside hiking?” Sofia asked. It was time to find out more of the private Sara Sidle. Talking about sport was a better idea than talking about relationships.   
“I used to surf.”   
“You? A surf bunny?” Sofia almost choked on her last bite. Sara Sidle on a surfboard? Sara Sidle with all the surfer guys and beach bunnies? No, that couldn’t be true, that must be a joke.   
“I was no surf bunny, I was a surfer.”   
“You were good?”   
“As a teenager I was not too bad. But when I went to college I stopped.” And when she went the last time, she came home covered in a million small bruises or one huge bruise, depending on how you looked at it.   
“Did you ever try surfing?” Sara asked.   
“No, I didn’t. I like watching it, it looks really cool.”  
“Wanna try?” Sara surprised herself with this offer. Did she really just offer to take Sofia out to the beach and teach her to surf? What was wrong with her? What happened to the old Sara Sidle? The Sara, who preferred to spend her time alone. The Sara, who tried to avoid all the people from her past. The Sara, she used to know.   
“Sure.” Sofia was as amazed as Sara was. Sara Sidle offered her to spend an afternoon with her on the beach, teach her some surfing tricks. What’s wrong with this woman?   
“Right after your tests and my seminar wouldn’t be a good time, I think. Maybe we should stay another night here and try our luck on Saturday.” Sara had a whole weekend off, she was due back to work on Monday. It couldn’t be that bad to spend the weekend in Los Angeles. As soon as she was back in Fresno it was an effort to get to the ocean.   
“I have to be back in San Jose on Sunday evening, so that will be fine with me. But I didn’t pack a swimsuit.”   
“The best reason to go shopping.”   
“Yes, I like to have a good excuse for spending money.” And after this surprising offer she felt safe enough to add a question. “Will you join me on my shopping trip? Say Friday afternoon.”   
“As I also don’t have a swimsuit it would be appropriate. Nude surfing isn’t legal in L.A. as far as I know.”   
“I doubt any guy would mind seeing you naked on the board.” Sofia grinned.   
“You have no idea and I can’t get a call from the cops here to my boss. ‘Sir, sorry to tell you, your CSI supervisor was surfing naked, we had to arrest her.’”   
“Give me a little bit more time and when I’m the police chief in San Jose you can do your nude surfing there. If anybody dares to arrest you I’ll get you out of jail in seconds. I promise.”   
“I’ll keep that in mind for when you’re the police chief …but I’m not sure anybody will enjoy an sixty year old nude grandmother on a surfboard.”   
“I’ll be police chief way before that time. Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re gonna be a hot granny.”  
Sara threw a suspicious look at Sofia. Was she trying to flirt? Was she mocking Sara? Or was it a compliment?   
“What?” Sofia asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. She wasn’t sure if she went a step too far. Maybe she shouldn’t endanger the good relationship she just built with Sara with sloppy comments like that. But she couldn’t help herself, it slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself.   
“I won’t be a hot granny.”   
“You never know. So, where’s the ice cream?”   
“Freezer, all your groceries are in the fridge.”   
“Perfect. I’ll do some magic and surprise you with a fantastic dessert.”   
“I expect sparks.”   
“I’ll give you fire.” Sofia smiled and got up. “Two minutes.”   
“I’ll count,” answered Sara dryly.   
This was an interesting evening, she thought. Not so much the topics they had discussed as her own reactions. Years ago Sara would have blown up if Sofia had said something like the ‘hot granny’ stuff. She would have told her to shut up, to not mock her or even worse, not to flirt with her. If anybody had asked her that morning, she would have said she would still have reacted like that. Instead she wasn’t angry, wasn’t mad, wasn’t cynical. She could take it as a joke, as a sloppy comment, and go on without ending up in a fight.   
Hell, Fresno had changed her. But damn, she liked the new Sara.   
“Two minutes are over,” Sara said.   
“Bean counter,” Sofia countered.   
“Just remember that’s the time you gave me.”   
“If I promise you it’s worth waiting for, will you give me a little bit more time?”   
“I asked that once of a boyfriend, he said ‘Yes’ but what he really meant was ‘No.’” Did she say that out loud? Why did she do that? It wasn’t Sofia’s business to know about Sara’s old relationships. They were none of her business.   
“Thanks to mother nature, you’re a woman, so if you say yes, you mean yes.”   
No further questions? Sofia simply took that comment and went on? A sigh of relief escaped from Sara’s mouth. That was easy, that was good. Indeed, that was really good. Just like the last evenings, Sofia seemed not to ask Sara anything about her private life. She listened to comments Sara made about her private life, showed some interest, but she never tried to find out more than the investigator gave her. As a detective, Sofia sucked these last evenings, as an interlocutor she was exactly what Sara needed.   
It was nothing new to her, that she was more willing to open herself up and to tell more about her private life when nobody was pushing her, but she was surprised with the comfort she said these things at this moment. Just as if she and Sofia had been friends all their lives. Which was far from truth. But somehow it seemed like the two women got along better day after day.   
“Thanks for your patience.” Sofia came out of Sara’s room. In each hand was a bowl with ice cream. But Sara’s eyes were caught on the one lit sparkler, shining in the waning sunlight.   
“I wanted to cover your bowl with sparklers as you wanted fire, but then I thought, sometimes less is more.”   
“I’m impressed.” Sara took her bowl, carefully holding it far enough away from herself so as not to get burned by the sparks. Fruit was cut in pieces and surrounded the ice cream. Chocolate sprinkles were all over, traces of Irish Coffee had made its way around to the edge of the bowl.   
“The best for the best.”   
“It was worth waiting for.”   
“Isn’t it always?”   
“Sometimes.” Sara was thinking if Sofia’s question was a hidden request to tell her about the boyfriend Sara mentioned before. If it was, it didn’t sound curious or like she wanted to force an answer out of Sara. It could be also just a rhetorical question.   
When no further question came, Sara closed her eyes and silently enjoyed her ice cream. What a life. Another sunset, another dinner delivered, another evening with probably good conversation. She had to admit her skill enhancement seminar felt more like a paid holiday. In fact, her last holidays weren’t as good as these last three days.   
“Can I say something without offending you?” Sofia asked after they both had finished their ice cream and sat there for a few minutes in silence.   
“Sure.”  
“You never struck me as a talker, I’m very surprised that we’ve had the third evening in a row now sitting together and talking. I must say I really like that. Thank you for this great time, Sara.”   
Sara turned her head to see Sofia’s face. Her ice-blue eyes laid soft on the investigator, not expecting anything. It was only a statement she wanted to make.   
“You’re right, I’m not a talker. Never was, probably never will be. But I never felt like I have to talk, like I have to tell you anything. It all was casual, it was nice to chat. You never tried to dig anything out of me, if I stopped saying anything it seemed to be alright with you.”   
“You mean, I didn’t ask any private questions?” Sofia smiled.   
“Yes.”   
“It’s not that I’m not interested in your private life, in a healthy way. Everybody is interested in the private life of the people they are surrounded by. But I think one of the great things about private life is that it’s private. So everybody should make their own decision if and when they want to share what with whom. Silence can be awful, can make you feel uncomfortable, but I have to say, with you also enjoying a few silent moments, it feels right. Just like two worked out law enforcement chicks having a nice evening.”   
“One of the great things about private life is that is private? Who told you that?”   
“Could be a Sidle quote, couldn’t it?” Sofia softly teased.   
“Yes, it could be.” Sara smiled. “Maybe I’m gonna steal it from you.”   
“You’re welcome to use it whenever it suits you.”   
“Thanks. And thank you for your statement. I have to say I’m also very pleased with our time together. I wouldn’t mind another evening like this.”   
“Sara, if you get me a good dinner tomorrow you are totally in the position to spend another evening with me.”   
“Now, how many guys would pay a fortune to hear that sentence from you?” Sara laughed. Maybe the first part of the sentence would scare some away, but the clever ones would simply take Sofia out to a good restaurant.   
“Many, and you get it for free. That should make you proud.”   
“I have to pay for the dinner.”   
“In return I’ll do the same for you the next day. Our relationship is a give and take.”   
“As every good relationship should be.” Sara mumbled the words more than said them but Sofia could hear. And she could hear that it wouldn’t be a good idea to ask further questions now or to joke about this. Her statement about private life was supposed to be used here.   
“Shall I do the dishes?”   
“I didn’t know you were a housewife.” Sara couldn’t help but smile. Sofia understood that Sara didn’t want to deepen her last comment. She wouldn’t push her. The detective would not try to detect the past of the investigator. Did that make a bad detective of Sofia? Or was Sara a bad investigator, stopping an investigation about something maybe interesting to the other woman? 

Wednesday, 11th of July 

Rain destroyed their evening on the balcony. Without mercy, big cold drops fell down, sometimes at a strange angle when the wind blew harder. Their chairs were wet.   
“Wanna hear something juicy from our old work place?”   
Sofia had made herself comfortable on Sara’s sofa, waiting for the brunette to come out of the kitchen. It was Sara’s turn to provide the dinner. Instead of calling another delivery service, the CSI borrowed a hot plate and a pot from the reception. Today they would eat something Sara had cooked. If that was something good or bad, Sofia would find out soon enough.   
The question about the information about their old work place had been in Sofia’s head since lunch. Should she try to talk with Sara about Vegas or was it better not to mention that topic? It wasn’t private, it wasn’t about her, it was about people they both used to work with. It seemed normal to Sofia to talk with an old colleague about their other old colleagues. But then again, what was normal when Sara Sidle was involved?   
At the end she made the decision to try it. If Sara said ‘No” or didn’t answer, Sofia would change the topic.   
Sara came out of her kitchen, not exactly excited about what was probably new gossip, but more because she had finished what she was doing.   
“Dinner will take a few more minutes.” Okay, she didn’t want to hear anything from her old work place, Sofia thought. But Sara’s tone was friendly, not like she was trying hard to avoid talking to Sofia at all.   
“What did you cook?”   
“Soup.”   
“Soup?” Sofia was supposed to live on soup today?   
“Yes. Don’t worry, you’re gonna be full at the end,” Sara said, reading her thoughts.   
“Will I?”   
“Yes, Lieutenant Curtis, you will be fine. Trust me.”   
“I trust you because you called me lieutenant. Sounds good.”   
“I quite like detective. Detective Curtis. Lieutenant Curtis. Officer Curtis?”   
“I could charge you with…I would find something for this insult.” Sofia grumped. Officer. That was a long time ago. She wasn’t a rookie anymore.   
“Captain Curtis?”   
“One day for sure.”   
“Chief Curtis.”   
“That’s the goal. Supervisor Sidle. You don’t have any other goal? Supervisor of the office? Chief of the office?”   
“I’m happy. The higher your position is, the more people try to kick you out of your job and the more papers you get to fill in. I’m already annoyed with the forms I’ve got to worry about every day.”   
“It won’t get any less.”   
“No, it won’t. They made it clear today.”   
“Oh, it was paper day?”   
“Yes. How to run an office efficiently. Which program will help you to fill out forms faster and better. Which dates are very important for which forms. I can tell you, watching somebody fishing is more exciting than that.”   
“You miss the old field days?”   
“In some ways I do. But in Fresno it’s alright. Really, I do not handle more forms than in a busy week in Vegas.”   
“Sweet little Fresno.”   
“Don’t mess with my home of choice, Officer.”   
“Say that one more time and you’ll be in big trouble. I’m gonna restrain you.”   
“You won’t.” Sara’s grin went wider. The blonde was lying lazily on her sofa, she wouldn’t move. Moving would mean she had to get up, had to leave her beer alone, had to motivate her body to do some work. Sara felt quite safe.   
Sara moved her lips slowly without breaking contact with Sofia’s eyes. “Officer,” came out as sweet as sugar from her mouth, followed by a big smirk.   
Sofia didn’t move. She only stared at Sara.   
“You. Have. Been. Warned.” Slowly these words came from Sofia’s mouth, eyes still on Sara’s. With one jump Sofia was on her feet, beer left on the floor. Before Sara could try to escape and lock herself up in the bathroom, Sofia had her - she threw her with one easy move on the king size bed and before Sara’s body touched it completely, her arms were behind her and she was cuffed. That was more than smooth, that was the perfect move.   
“You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Do you understand?”   
“You’re reading me my rights?” Sara had to laugh. And, wham, Sofia was fast!   
“Anything you do say may be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand?”   
“I wonder which courtroom you will go to with this.”   
“You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. Do you understand?”   
“You know I know all these things, don’t you?”   
”If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present? Do you understand your rights?”   
“I do understand that you have no legal right to treat me like this. I do understand that you violated the law and my personal rights. I do understand that you got yourself into trouble by acting without thinking. I do understand you have to finish cooking our dinner if you leave me here cuffed.” Sara turned around and looked into Sofia’s eyes. The detective was kneeling next to the investigator, visibly more than satisfied with what she saw.   
“Feeling comfortable?” Sofia asked.   
“I’ve had worse moments in bed.”   
“I’d like to listen to those stories but I’m afraid I prefer to eat. Being in a position where I can use my both arms and hands I can eat. Not like somebody else, who is helpless and will watch me eating soup and later having dessert. That would really bother me. Waiting the whole day for a lovely dinner you invested so many hours in, and then you have to miss it out, only because you couldn’t resist assaulting a future lieutenant. Really sad.”   
“I’ve gotta give you credit for being so fast. I never thought you could move that fast from the sofa. Reminded me of a panther, that looks lazy, but as soon as it sees it’s prey, it’s wide awake and catches it’s dinner within seconds.”   
“That’s a little step back toward freedom. Try better.” Sofia was willing to let Sara free again if she could make up for the insult.   
”What do you want me to do? I mean, I could call my lawyer but we both don’t want to be bothered by him.”   
“And the little fact that in your current position you can’t make a phone call.”   
“You can’t violate my right for a phone call.”   
“I can, I’ve got the keys to the handcuffs.”   
“Tomorrow you have to let me free and then you’ll feel sorry.”   
“Who said I have to let you go? I can bind you to something.”   
“They would miss me at the seminar, they would call and the housekeeper would find me. Even if you put up a ‘Do no disturb’ sign.”   
“I can put you in my room.”   
“They’d look there too, they know we know each other.”  
“Oh well, I’ve got a huge trunk.”   
“Some people would be scared being in my situation, hearing all these potential threats.”   
“But you aren’t?”   
“You are still a detective, even as a lieutenant, your job will be to take care of the CSI. I am a CSI. If you let anything happen to me, you would have failed in your job. You’re too good to fail in your job. I’m safe.” Sara smiled, relaxed.   
“You know, by telling me I’m a good cop you set yourself free.” Sofia smiled. “Turn around so that I can open the cuffs.”   
Obeying, Sara turned around and a few seconds later she was free again, rubbing her wrists.   
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Sofia’s voice was full of concern when she saw what the brunette did. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Sara. It was supposed to be a joke!   
“No, I’m fine. I’m just not used to being cuffed. Usually I’m on the right side of the law.”   
“Sure?” Sofia took Sara’s hands. There were no marks or bruises but she knew it would take some time until any showed. She had made sure the cuffs were loose enough to give Sara some space.  
“Sure.” Sara smiled and got up. “Soup should be ready. Wanna help me in the kitchen?”   
“Sure.” Sofia followed her into the kitchen. “What can I do?”   
Sara handed her a loaf of bread. “Cut it, please. I’ll finish up with the soup. For a moment Sofia watched how Sara cut parsley. Her hands moved steadily. If there was any pain, she didn’t show it. Damn it, Sara had probably only rubbed her wrists as a reflex, without thinking about it. Now Sofia felt guilty and couldn’t stop thinking about it.   
“You should move the knife, the bread won’t jump on it and cut itself.” Sara turned around.   
“I really didn’t want to hurt you, Sara. I’m so sorry.”   
Surprise came into Sara’s eyes. “Sofia, you didn’t hurt me. I just rubbed my wrists as a reflex. As you do when you have a bracelet on and take it off. You really didn’t hurt me, stop worrying about it.”   
“Promise?” If she couldn’t see the concern in Sofia’s eyes, if she couldn’t hear the sadness in her voice, Sara would have laughed. There was no reason to be concerned or sad about it.   
“I promise. I mocked you, you warned me, I didn’t stop, you did what you told me would happen, and that’s it. No big deal, we’re both adults, we both know it was only a joke, we’re both not hurt.” “Okay.” Sofia finally said, after another few seconds of looking into Sara’s eyes.   
“And now cut the damn bread I’m starving.”   
“Yes, Ma’am.” Sofia smiled. Sara wasn’t hurt, she wasn’t angry, she was only hungry. What meant she felt the same as Sofia did.   
“So what is the hot and spicy news from Vegas?” Sara asked out of the blue.   
Sofia almost choked on her last piece of bread. Hot and spicy news?  
“I said juicy news.”   
“Juicy, hot and spicy, it’s all the same. It’s gossip.” Sara had stretched out on her bed, the empty bowl next to her on the carpet, eyes closed, with a light smile on her lips. Sofia couldn’t remember ever having seen the brunette that relaxed. There had always been something about Sara Sidle that made it clear she wasn’t ever entirely relaxed; she was hunted by something or someone nobody else than she could feel or see. Now she was simply laying on her bed, a picture of a happy woman.   
“It’s about a couple. You’re free to guess.” Sofia could make this funnier and more interesting for herself too.   
“Ecklie and Hodges.”   
“Please! I had dinner a few seconds ago.” Sofia grimaced. That was a thought that would have never entered her mind. Sara is a strange woman.   
“Would be funny.”   
“I’m not sure for whom I’d feel sorry for in this case.”  
“Hodges is only narcissistic, Ecklie is…well we both know him well enough.”   
“He’s happy when nobody else around him is happy.”  
“Sometimes it seems so, yes.”   
“Do I have at least one person right?”   
“No.”   
“Greg found his love for Wendy and moved back to the lab to be with her.”   
“I don’t think he’s over the big crush he had on you.”   
“Shut up.” Sara threw a pillow at Sofia. There had never been anything between her and Greg. She knew about Greg’s crush, but he was long over that. He was a little brother to Sara, no more, no less.   
”You’re still without any hits, Sidle. For an investigator that’s a poor show. No wonder they made you supervisor, you lost your sense for investigations.”   
“Careful, Gossip Lieutenant.”   
“Lieutenant is the important thing, I don’t care about what kind of lieutenant I am.”   
“The best, I guess. So tell me about this couple. Share your knowledge, tell me what you…uh…detected.”  
Sofia laughed. Oh how she liked the new Sara. “Catherine and…”   
“Catherine and...?”   
“Nick.”   
“She’s his supervisor.”   
Sofia just looked at Sara and Sara shut up. Yes, she knew, she wasn’t supposed to say anything about that. She and Grissom had their relationship for over two years and he was her supervisor. This was the best chance to ask Sara about her relationship to Grissom, but she knew, Sara wouldn’t like the question and she wouldn’t answer it. So Sofia saved this question and just grinned.   
“He moved to dayshift.”   
“I’ve always thought there was something between Cath and Warrick, but then he got married.”   
“I guess there was a tension between Cath and both guys. Well, it’s Cath, she always attracts men and she knows it.”   
“So do you. I saw more than one suspect trying to flirt with you. That never happened to Brass.”   
“Maybe because most of time we had guys in custody and they’re more likely to flirt with a woman than with a guy.”   
“So, Nick and Cath. Oh well, Lindsey will be happy with her decision. I hope they’ll be happy together.”   
“Attention, private question,” Sofia said, smiling. “You can answer it with yes or no, no need to give me an explanation. Do you think you will ever go back to Vegas?”   
Sara laughed. Sofia felt a big rush of relief. Sara wouldn’t bury herself in a silent answer. Maybe if Sofia announced more private questions with a teasing tone and as a private question Sara wouldn’t have to answer with an explanation and Sofia would get some answers.   
“For work no, as a holiday spot yes. And yes, I wouldn’t mind a lunch with our old colleagues, as long it doesn’t include Ecklie.”   
“You know I’m Ecklie’s girl, it wouldn’t be a complete dinner for me without him,” Sofia said. Sara’s left eye popped open. She turned her head and looked at Sofia.   
“You got called Ecklie’s girl but all you did was try to do your best. You were as mad at him as we were.” That was the first time Sara offered her feelings and her point of view on their past. It was not Sara’s past, at least not as much as it was Sofia’s.   
“Nobody told me that years ago.”   
“Everybody was too busy being pissed off at Ecklie and then you left.”   
“I never wanted to be a CSI, I wanted to be a detective.”  
“You were a good CSI, just like you are a good detective and you’ll be a good lieutenant. And one day you’ll be a good captain.”   
“Thank you, Sara.” Sofia knew Sara meant it exactly how she said it. It wasn’t a cheap comfort, even when the detective would take that at this moment too. For the rest of the week she would need and take all support she could get.   


Thursday, 12th of July

"Good morning." A little smile appeared on Sara's face when Sofia opened her door for her.  
"Good morning, sleeping beauty." The detective had a big grin on her face. "You look rested now."  
"I am, thanks. And sorry for yesterday." Sara and Sofia had watched a movie and at one point Sara felt asleep to find out when she woke up, hours later, Sofia was gone and left a note for her.  
You fell asleep, I didn't wanna wake you up so I took your room key to lock your door when I'm gone. Sleep tight, she you in the morning.  
PS: Yes I set your alarm clock, just to make sure you'll be awake.  
Sofia  
"Hey, I fell asleep too. The difference was, I woke up before you did so I figured out, I can sleep better in my bed but I didn't want to leave your door open while you're sleeping that's why I took your key, so that I could look up behind myself. I knew we get up at the same time, so it is no problem for you to get your key back."  
"You covered me up."  
"Sure I didn't wanna risk a cold. Didn't know it's warm today."  
"It is, thanks God for that. I love waking up with sunshine."  
"So do I." Sofia gave Sara her key.  
"Thanks. If that ever happen again, you can just leave the door open. Nobody will steal me."  
"I won't risk that. I'm a detective, I've to take care of my CSIs." Sofia smiled. There was no way you would left Sara's door open when Sara was asleep. This seems to be a quiet place but she wouldn't risk anything.  
"I'm not your CSI anymore."  
"You always have, you always will." A little bit of sorrow came to the blonde's eyes. "I left you down once, that will never happen again."  
"When did you leave me down?"  
"The night in the desert."  
"Sofia, it wasn't your fault."  
"I didn't take care of you."  
"I was on my way home, it's not your job to babysit me. Nobody knew Natalie would come after me. It's not your fault."  
"I'm…"  
"No." Sara turned around and stopped before she reached the door. "It wasn't your fault."  
"Don't run away. Please." Why had she started this discussion? She would lose everything she and Sara had built up the last days. Why didn’t she think first before she talked? Getting Sara back to the worst hours of her life wasn’t something, that made their relationship better.  
Sara turned around, her face was blank. "You have to go, otherwise you'll be late for your test."  
"There are some things life more important than a test. You are more important."  
Sara stopped whatever she was doing. She even stopped breathing.  
Sofia did the same. What had she done? Did she blew it now completely? How could she tell Sara that she's more important than a test? Not that it wasn't true but Sofia wasn't supposed to say that. She was in no position to say that. What was wrong with her this morning? Was her brain out of order or why did she say all these stupid things? Well, not stupid, but she wasn’t in the position to say things like that. It wasn’t like she and Sara had been friends for years.   
"If I have to choose between you and a test, I'd pick you. I can always repeat a test, it's a thing. You're a human, I can't repeat anything that happen to you and make it undone in this way. What happened once happened forever. We can't take it back, can't make it undone. There are more important things in life than a test." Sofia hoped she had found the right words. How else could she explain to Sara what she meant?  
"I know, there are. But there's no need to talk about the past if you can't change anything. It would be stupid to present and future complicated only to talk about a thing from the past, nobody can change. Go and pass your test, lieutenant."  
"I’ll bring dinner?" It was more a question of, if Sara still wanted to have dinner with Sofia or if she preferred to stay alone after Sofia blew their time.  
"You better do. Otherwise you'll be in trouble with a supervisor." Sara smiled.  
"Any wishes?"  
"Surprise me, you did very well on Tuesday with that."  
"Okay."  
Sara left the room.   
Just before she closed the door completely, Sofia said: "I didn't want to say anything that might upset you."  
"You didn't. We can talk about this later, but your test is really more important than this. Go and make me proud. I wanna have dinner with a lieutenant tonight."  
"I'll do my best, supervisor."  
"Your best will be more than enough." Finally Sara closed the door, leaving Sofia for a few seconds unable to move in her room. She almost blew it. Why had she started to talk about the night in the desert? Why? She knew in her head it wasn't her fault that Sara had ended up as Natalie's victim. But she had felt guilty. For so long.  
The only good thing about mention this night to Sara today was that Sara didn't act Sofia was afraid she would. Okay, she refused to talk about it, but she was right, Sofia had to leave to her tests and so had Sara to her seminar. It was stupid to talk about something in the past of you effected your presents and future in a negative way this way. She should get her head straight and do, what Sara asked her to do: Passing the test and making her proud.  
Why would Sara Sidle be proud when Sofia became a lieutenant?

"Dinner is on it's way" was the first thing Sofia called when she left her car and started to climb up the stairs to Sara. The sunshine was still there, the brunette was sitting on her chair, enjoying the sun and watching carefully every move the blonde made.  
"What's my surprise?"  
"If I'd tell you it wouldn't be a surprise, Honey." Happy with the world and herself Sofia dropped on the empty chair next to Sara.  
"Honey?"  
"Love?"  
"Did you get too much heat on your way back?" Sara's voice was amused.  
"Unfortunately I don't own a Mustang for a lovely open air drive on the beach, all the sun that hit my head came through the window. Blame it on the day."  
"Are you a lieutenant now?"  
"I hope so." Sofia sighed. "I did all my tests, now it's in the hands of whoever. Tomorrow I'll know if I'm a lieutenant or still a detective."  
"In which case you can go on and detect."  
"You like saying that to me, don't you?"  
"Yes." Sara smiled.  
"You like teasing me."  
"I think that's a thing we've got in common. You were mocking me a few times the last days."  
"What goes around comes around. I take a shower, Sweety. You know where to find me if you miss me." Without looking back to Sara Sofia entered her room, laughing, giggling, happy with a Sara, who looked relaxed and in a good mood. There wasn’t a bad feeling, nothing of the tensions she had felt in the morning, when she started to talk about Sara’s night in the desert.  
She threw her clothes in a corner, stepped in the shower and cursed when the cold water hit her head. Why must water be so damn cold? It was for hours in pipes, it should be warm. It was over seventy-seven degrees outside, the bloody water must be warm.  
In shorts and a tank shirt she came back out to Sara.  
"Sorry, I didn't miss you enough to visit you under the shower."  
"By saying you didn't miss me enough for a visit under the shower you say at the same time, you missed me. No, I don't need an answer", stopped Sofia Sara from saying something. "I gonna leave it like this in the room. Don't destroy my pink world."  
"Did you take any drugs?" Sara observed Sofia and crooked her head. The detective acted like a squirrel on ecstasy.  
"Too much coffee, I guess. Sorry, I'll be calm down after dinner; I hope."  
"I'd offer you a beer but it seems like the one who was supposed to organize the dinner forgot to bring beer."  
"Will be here with the food. Hot and ice cold delivery service, I really liked that one."  
"What did you order?"  
"Chinese."  
"Good."  
"And I should have…" Sofia jumped on her feet and vanished in her room.  
Sara shook her head. Hopefully that was only a reaction of the stress, the detective lost today with her last tests. If it wouldn't be Sofia and wouldn't Sara know her for years, Sofia could scare her. On the other hand side, how well did she know Sofia? Only because they worked together for two years that doesn't mean Sara really knew Sofia.  
"Cold beer. The last one." Sofia came with a bottle of beer back to Sara and offered her the bottle.  
"You need the alcohol, I'm fine."  
"I'm a good girl, I share. How was your day?"  
"Interesting. We leant how to lead a team."  
"Really?" Sofia laughed. "I thought you were all supervisors, you guys should know."  
"You think Ecklies does a good job?"  
"No! So this day was dedicated to all Ecklies in the world? Fair enough."  
"It was interesting to listen, I might use the one or other tip."  
"I'm sure you're a good supervisor. Maybe you should go to Vegas and show Ecklie how to do his job proper."  
"He'll kick me out before I'm in the building."  
"Anybody trying to assault my CSI will be restrained by me."  
"I'm still not your CSI anymore."  
"We had this topic this morning, you'll always be my CSI. Accept it."  
"Looks like I've no other choice."  
"That's a good girl." Sofia smirked and got up. There was a delivery car coming.  
"Need a hand with all these things?"  
"If I need a hero I'll call out for you."  
"Sofia?"  
"Yeah?"  
Sara had problems to stay serious. "You know, you're practical naked and about to go down to a strange guy?"  
"I thought you would never realize that. Let's see if I can get us some goodies for free." Sofia raised her eyebrows and put a huge smile on her face. A minute later she came back up with a box of beer and a bag full of boxes.  
"You got any discount for being naked?"  
"I've got a telephone number and a box of fortunate cookies for free. How good is that?"  
"Depends on what the cookies say."  
"Eat me."  
"Sure they do." Sara took the bag with the food while Sofia got two bottles of beer out for them and brought the rest in her fridge.  
"I forgot the ice cream." Sofia looked unhappy to Sara.  
"We'll survive."  
"Ice cream. With chocolate sprinkles. Irish Cream." Sofia's eyes turned into sad puppy eyes. How could she forget ice cream?  
"Did you know that ice cream was made first by the Chinese? Around 2000 BC."  
"Only a true scientist can turn ice cream into a lesson."  
"Sorry I thought an ice cream fanatic like you would appreciate the information."  
"I do. Oh, by the way: all the food is pure vegetarian, you can eat everything, don't worry what's inside."  
"I hope you had a burger for lunch, otherwise it will be your second day in a row without meat."  
"That's alright, I'll go to my favorite steak house when I'm back on duty. You tried this?" Sofia hold a piece of food up.  
"What is it?" Sara's eyes tried to find a description for the small piece of food. A half flat circle? Filled with…what?  
"It's a dumpling. Like…a mini pancake filled with…well in this case leek and tofu. I guess we have to dip it into one of the sauces and eat it." She dipped the dumpling in soy sauce and offered it to Sara. Slightly skeptical Sara took a bite.  
"And?"  
"Tastes good. If you can buy it in a supermarket, it would be a great snack."  
"I guess you can get them in an Asian supermarket."  
"That's a challenge for Fresno." Sara smiled. "By the way I told the girl at reception, we want to stay until Sunday. I hope that's alright with you."  
"Perfect. I don't want to pack all my stuff, leave her on Saturday, experience surfing, get a million bruises and then drive back home for a couple of hours in the night. Sunday is perfect."  
"Good. I thought the same – except for the bruise part."  
"You'll be tired after a day of teaching."  
"How good that Saturday is your dinner day, I don't have to worry about anything."  
"And I think I gonna treat us nice with a dinner at the ocean. Venice maybe."  
"I think I like your dinner ideas."  
"Good."  
"Oh, and I've got something for you." Sara reached under her chair and handed a little parcel to Sofia. It was very light, very slim. Her first impression was, it's a dvd, but it was too soft. A book?"  
"What is it?"  
"You're allowed to open it later."  
"Why later?"  
"Just trust me."  
"I do trust you." Sofia found Sara's eyes and found herself fascinated by her deep brown eyes. Whatever was in the parcel, it was something Sara took serious, a part of herself, a part, she was willing to share with Sofia. Don't ask private question and you might get all the answers, of the questions you forced yourself not to ask, voluntarily.  
"And if you really want, we can go on with our conversation of the morning. Now that you passed your test and we've got time."  
"Sara, we don't have to talk about it. As you said, it's the past, we can't change it. No matter what we say."  
"It seemed to be important to you."  
"I don't want to ruin our time."  
"Don't you think we would ruin it when we leave it in between us?" Why had this woman to be so damn smart? Why did she always know what to say to turn Sofia's world upside down? Why was she so different from all the other people Sofia ever met? And why was she always right?  
"Whatever I felt at that night it was nothing compare to what you felt. You were the one under the car, I was safe."  
"I thought I'd die."  
"We were afraid you would. None of Natalie's victims had survived. On the other hand, you are somebody special."  
"I survived a few hard times, that kept me strong. I knew, I handled bad situations, I knew, I survived them and I wouldn't give up without fighting." Sara faced the sun, without looking at Sofia. She ignored the rest of the food, her beer, simply looking in the sun.  
"My arm was stuck under the car, I couldn't get free. The rain made the water under car rose, I was afraid I drown. The only thing I could do was waiting for you guys, I knew, you would do everything to get me out of this situation. And…can you remember the case with Lady Heather's daughter?"  
Sara never looked to Sofia when she nodded.  
"She bit her hand of the escape her tormentor. I thought if I've got no other choice I've to do the same with my arm. No matter how painful it would be, it sounded better than dying." Sara stopped, remembering the time under the car, the fear, the rain, water rising. She could feel how her arm went numb, how the pain in the rest of her body changed into agony. She could feel how her pulse rose, how her breath became faster because of the lack of oxygen.  
"Sara." Sofia's voice got softly in Sara's consciousness. She had to bring the brunette back into the present, out of the past.  
Sara found Sofia's hand on hers, stopping it from trembling. For a short second Sara wanted to pull her hand away, lose Sofia's hand and so her touch, but she left her hand where it was, felt the soft pressure and relaxed to Sofia's relief. Sara was back and she had herself under control again.  
"I managed to get out of the car, the rain stopped and my short happiness of freedom turned into desperation, because I had no idea where I was. I didn't know in which way I should go, I didn't know how far you guys were. So I started to walk, tried to keep myself going, walked probably in circles but I managed to leave traces for you to find me. Until I finally collapsed. There was no power left in me, I knew, I had to believe in you guys, had to trust you with my life. And that's the part I meant this morning, when I said, you never left me down, Sofia. You guys found me, you rescued me, I'm alive, I recovered completely. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. You found me, you saved me."  
"I wish it had never come so far."  
"Your job isn't prevention, your job is to act."  
"Detect."  
"You detected me, detective."  
"It was one of my best moments in my life."  
"I wish I could say the same, I was happy, no question in that, but it wasn't a good moment."  
"I understand." Sofia took her hand away from Saras. The investigator was settled again, there was no need to spend support.  
"And I felt you and Nick around me, it gave me strength to hold on until the paramedics where there."  
"We couldn't do much, giving you a light shower with water, telling you, we were there, help was on it's way, but we did all we could."  
Sara turned around and smiled. It was a winning smile. "See, I told you, you didn't let me down." Her eyes weren't dark and lost anymore, Sofia could see a little spark of tease in them. Sara knew, she had made the point. More than that, Sofia could feel how the guilt, that was in her subconscious the whole time, was vanished.  
"You're good, Sara."  
"I know."  
Now it was Sofia who had a winning smile on her face. "See, I told you, you are good with people. There's your proof."  
Sara started laughing. It was a light, happy laughter.  
"We're two of a kind. At least we both know more about ourselves now. Would you like me to get you another beer?"  
"I guess we deserve one."  
"We do. And some candy."  
"I could get used to spend my evenings with you, good food, a cold beer, candy and decent conversations."  
"Decent conversations? How are your ordinary conversations?"  
"In San Jose? Most of the conversations after work are in a cop bar, you can imagine the topics there. Maybe I should join a book club."  
"I didn't know reading books is one of the strengths of a detective." Sara stepped back just in case Sofia would try to get her for this comment but the detective saw no reason for this lame comment to move her body.  
"We read a whole book for young adults for the tests this week. They expect us to read books for fifteen year old children, when I want to make captain I've to be able to read a book for housewives. You know, some of this heart breaking slimy stuff."  
"Sounds very difficult."  
"It will be for me. Maybe I try to improve my reading skills with comics."  
"The good cop, the hero of the city."  
"Nah, that's already my reality."  
"Sure it is."  
"Go and get me a beer, woman."  
Sara raised an eye brown. Sofia's smile was thin and full of mock.  
"I can see you spend too much time with male cops." Sara went into Sofia's room and got them two bottles of beer. She didn't have to ask where the candy was, it was all over her kitchen. Sara simply grabbed a bag and went out again. Without a word she dropped the candy bag into Sofia's lap and put the beer on their table chair.  
"Thank you."  
"You're welcome."  
"Sara, have you ever been to San Jose?"  
"Years ago, yes. Why?"  
"If you want to improve my standard you should come along every now and then so that I don't have to spend my time with cops."  
"You could make some non cop friends."  
"And how many friends outside the department do you have?" It was the second time that Sofia asked her this question, but this time there was no bitterness in her voice like at the first time. The Bell shooting. Sofia was so desperate, she thought, she might have killed Officer Bell. She made the mistake and went to Grissom, who was interfering the case at that time. She wasn't supposed to be in the building, she was even less supposed to talk to Grissom and Sara made that very clear at that point.  
"You asked me this question already once."  
"I know and I'm sorry for that tone then."  
"No need to apologize." Sara's voice was soft.  
"It was...I was so down. The thought I might have shot a fellow Officer, I might have killed a young father, that was...too much. I had no idea where to go, I had no idea what to do, whom to talk to. And...Grissom was...seemed to be the best person to talk to. I know, it was wrong, he was one of the last person I should have talked to but I felt...I felt he would maybe understand me, he might know how I could comfort myself, what to do. I know it was a mistake, I put him and myself in danger, the whole department."   
Now it was Sara's hand laying on Sofias.  
"You didn't kill him. Don't bring yourself back to that place." Sara's voice was soft and at the same time it showed a danger not to not obey her.  
"I know I...stop it. Now."  
"Good." Sara left her hand for another second on Sofia's hand before she took it back. "And to answer your question, I'm in a sport club, Sara Sidle the supervisor has a private life. I don't collect overtime like other people stamps, I really try to leave the office when I'm done with my work and I take my holidays."  
"Wow."  
"I've learnt from Vegas and I consider myself as a at least half intelligent human being and I try to learn from my mistakes. My body and my mind are very thankful for that."  
"I bet they are. No more night shifts, no more overtime, sport, if you wouldn't sit next to me, I wouldn't recognize you."  
"You want to tell me you haven't change?"  
"Not much. Work is still my most important thing, especially the last couple of weeks, looking forward to this week. If I made it I might relax a little bit more until the new job as a lieutenant will eat me."  
"Maybe I should contact a book club for you, you will forget that as soon as you're back in San Jose."  
"Probably." Sofia laughed. She couldn't imagine herself in a book club. "Maybe reading is my favorite past time. At least not if I have to do it in a group. I prefer to read on my sofa, on a rainy Sunday and fall asleep whenever I want."  
"Sounds good to me too."  
"Better than catching a wave?"  
"Depends on the weather. On the perfect sunny day, you go out, catch a wave. Come back, have a rest, read and go out for the next wave again. There's no reason not to put these two things together."  
"My anticipation for Saturday is growing. I think it will be a great day."  
"The weather is supposed to be good, we will catch a few little waves, try not to break your bones and you buy my dinner."  
"I won't forget that, don't worry."  
"You better do not forget it." Sara grinned.

In bed Sofia's thoughts went back to her tests. In a few hours she would know if she had made it to lieutenant or not. In her mind, she knew, she passed the test. It wasn't like she was new to all those things, they ran her through. If she had wanted it, she could have done this test years ago. But after she left Vegas, she needed some time out, some quiet time and that included, no extra stress on the job. She made herself a home in San Jose, made some friends in the department and enjoyed living a good life as a detective. Why rushing? Many of her colleagues stayed officer or detective for all their life.  
Okay, since her mother was a captain, there was some kind of family pressure on her. Becoming a lieutenant was another step of the long path of pleasing her mother. But she did this step because she wanted it. She had waited so long until she felt, she was ready for the next step. And she didn't regret it. She would be a good lieutenant and one day, she would be a good captain, just as Sara had said.  
Sara. Somehow Sofia was growing with every evening more amazed. Sara had talked to her about the kidnapping. She had volunteered to tell Sofia how she felt, what was on her mind, how scared she was. And that she knew, Sofia and the other guys were on their way, that she trusted them to save her life. She had felt that Sofia was there, when she and Nick found Sara.  
And she gave Sara an inside view of her feelings after the Bell shooting. Not as deep as Sara did with her story, but Sofia had never feared for her life. Or did she? If she had been the one who killed Bell, how was she supposed to live her life? She doubted she would have been able to go on with her life, she might have left the police force. Killing an innocent person, killing a colleague, could make forgetting your plans. It could end your life just as you ended the life of somebody.  
She wondered if Sara didn't give her a real answer about her visiting San Jose on purpose or if she lost that in their conversation and slightly teasing jokes. Sofia could imagine to spend an evening with Sara in San Jose every now and then or going to Fresno and met her there. Hell, it was summer, she could even imagine to go out for a hiking with the investigator. They both liked hiking, there were plenty of state forest around Fresno, nor weren't the big national parks that far away either.  
How come that she started to think about spending more time with Sara Sidle? That never occurred her mind in Las Vegas. Maybe they had changed and were now on a level, where they could enjoy each others company.

Friday, 13th of July

"What do you think?" Sofia stepped out of the cabin in her maybe new bikini.  
Sara, who had made her decision for a swim suit within five minutes was sitting on a chair, drinking ice tea and looked at the new lieutenant.  
"Wear that and all guys will love you."  
"Really?" She looked down at her black bikini with white stripes.  
"Yes. First the white part will become transparent, they'll enjoy that and then a wave will rip off your top and they'll love that even more."  
"I thought it looks sexy."  
"Do you want to go surfing or getting laid?"  
"With the right person both would be nice."  
"Make a decision what's more important and buy your clothes for this decision."  
"Swim suit?"  
"Or you have to buy a wet suit too, what costs a lot of more and you won't get any taint the whole day."  
"Swim suit it is." Sofia walked back in the cabin.  
Sara stood up and walked to the shelves with the swimsuits. She picked up a few and handled them to Sofia.  
"Thanks."  
"I picked the black stuff, your color."  
"Yes, black is beautiful."  
"Indeed."  
Sofia came out in a total black swim suit in a modern design.  
"And?"  
"Black, beautiful, sexy, perfect for surfing."  
"And what do you think about the swim suit?"  
Sara rolled her eyes and walked without another word back to her chair. It took Sofia another five minutes until she was really sure, she wanted that swim suit and paid for it. There was a huge mental note in Sara's mind, never go shopping again with a woman.  
"What are we doing now? Testing our new eye-catcher? We are on the beach, we could change and have a swim."  
"We have no towels."  
"Oh well, there's a shop, we'll find one or two stylish and…"  
"I won't go in any shop with you anymore! Never! You are a nightmare. I might pop into a supermarket with you, that's it. Nothing with clothes or beach stuff."  
"There's the old Sara."  
"The old Sara would have left you after ten minutes. It's still the patient new Sara, but you're stretching her good mood and her patient."  
"In that case I'd say we'll go straight to that little café and have a coffee. I buy. We look at the beach, we enjoy the sun and you pick out a place for dinner."  
"Better." Sara grumbled. There was no way she'd join Sofia for any kind of shopping anymore. The blonde had used all her patience for today.  
They went to the little café and ordered two big coffees.  
"So, lieutenant, how do you feel? Being a lieutenant."  
"Absolutely great. I'd hug the whole world, had that in mind with you but won't stretch your patience and mood after the shopping." Sofia grinned. "Instead I'll celebrate with a coffee, a dinner and you on the beach. Maybe we can get some beer for later, I mean, we can sleep in tomorrow, there's no need to get up early."  
"You start to sound nicer to me."  
"I'll get us some cake or what would you like as a dessert?"  
"A fruity cocktail."  
"We can't drink we have to drive."  
"They are available without any alcohol."  
"Oh, right. We can have them. And I'll order breakfast for us tomorrow morning and Sunday, nobody should make breakfast on a free weekend"  
"I almost like you again."  
"Again means, you liked me before, what is more than I expected." Sofia laughed.  
"I don't spend five days in a row with somebody I can't stand." Sara rolled her eyes again.  
"Do you regret it?"  
"I did when you were shopping."  
"Oh come on, it's fun trying all these things."  
"It's a waste of time. You'll need it for a few hours, it's not like you're going on a beach vacation."  
"If I would, I'd take you with me. As a private surf teacher."  
"Believe me, you can't afford me."  
"With my new money now…yeah, you're right, it's still nothing. I have to wait for your generosity."  
"You got tomorrow. If you've got talent and if you won't be an annoying smug I might think about to give you a second lesson. San Jose has surf beaches too."  
"So you'll come over and visit me?"  
"Maybe."  
The waitress brought them their coffees. Sofia took a sip.  
"I'm serious, Sara." Sofia's voice had changed from the cheeky, mocking tone to a serious one. "I'd be happy if you'd come over and visit me. I really enjoyed this week, honestly if anybody would have told me last week, we'd spend a together like this, I'd have laughed my head off. We both know, we weren't exactly friends in Vegas, we both didn't spend any time together but it was nice; still is. And I hope, beside my little shopping craziness, you enjoyed it too."  
"I did. But I won't go shopping with you anymore."  
"I promise, when you come over all my shopping will be in my apartment, you won't have to set a foot in any shop."  
"Under these circumstances I think I can come over for a visit."  
"Maybe next week, when I'm in hospital with a broken arm from surfing."  
"I'm the surf instructor, I won't let anything happen to my student."  
"Do you use a phrase of me?"  
"I want to let you know how it feels when somebody says that."  
"Feels good, feels like somebody cares for me, feels like somebody thinks I'm important. You're welcome to say it more often."  
"You don't need a protector."  
"Not?"  
"If you do, a minute with your sexy new dress on the beach and a million guys will be crawling at your feet, begging you to let them your hero."  
"A hero doesn't beg and crawls."  
"For a lady they do."  
"I'm not a lady, I'm a lieutenant."  
"In that case you don't need a hero, you can kick any ass yourself."  
"That's a thing I was already good at when I was a detective."  
"When you kick like you use your cuffs, you're good."  
"Well, my cuffs and me, that's a special relationship."  
"I think, I don't need any details."  
"I don't think I want to tell you some. Not here, not now. I'm not drunk enough."  
"Mental note to myself: not more than one six pack of beer."  
Sofia started laughing. She didn't want to tell any secrets to Sara that involved her cuffs. She doubted that would ever be a topic in their conversation…not more than it was just right now.

Saturday, 14th of July

It was the feeling of freedom, of being the queen of the world or at least of the ocean. Laying on the belly on the surfboard, feet and hands in the water, keeping the position, looking for the best wave to catch. Some small ones past by, they weren’t worth the effort, Sofia was waiting for the perfect wave, the big one, that could make her an icon of the surf world. She wanted a big wave, at least six feet that would make her surf smooth to the beach where the good looking guy was waiting for her.   
A look over her shoulder told her a new wave was building up. She could see how it got bigger and bigger and she knew instantly this wave would break exactly where she wanted it to break. She got in position, checked a last time her surroundings and her shades. Then she started to paddle, feeling the power of the water around her hands, felt how the wave got her, ready to fight her, ready to kill her, to pull her under water but Sofia knew she would win. This was her fight and she would end up winning.   
She was caught in the water now, paddled a few times more and then got up. There she was. Standing up, proud and in full control of her board and the wave. Smooth and elegant like a snake in the water, she surfed through the wave, she didn’t have to turn to know it was breaking behind her, she was in a tunnel, building up more and more speed. It was her and the wave and her opponent tried everything to get her in the water, to break each of her bones and let her drown.   
With a wide smile on her face she left the tunnel and rode the wave down until she arrived on the beach. She was still standing straight when her board hit the sand and offered her a dry way to the beach. Elegant she bent down, took her board and walked to the tall, good looking man, who was waiting for her. He smiled, his face full with respect and reverence, took her board for her and said:  
“Sofia, you’re drooling.”   
One moment. That didn’t fit in her dream, that was the wrong line. He was supposed to say something like, she was amazing, he adored her or if there was anything he could do for her, that he was her servant. And his voice didn’t fit to the way he looked, it sounded somehow female.   
“What?” Maybe she had sand and water in her ears, this couldn’t end like this. This was the perfect wave, the perfect day, it wasn’t suppose to end like this.   
“You’re drooling.”  
Sofia opened her eyes. Immediately her tall beach boy disappeared and Sara appeared. What was Sara doing here? And why was Sofia on a towel instead of a board? Something was wrong here, very wrong.   
“I was…the huge wave…it was at least ten feet and I rode it.”  
“Sure.” Sara chuckled. The blonde had been caught in a dream. A dream that was far away from reality.   
“Yes…don’t tell me it was a dream, I was so great and this guy…” Sofia stopped when Sara started to laugh.   
“It could have been real.”  
“Yes.”  
“You’re not nice, you’re laughing about me.”  
“Well I’m sure you were a great Kelly Slater, the female version. In your dream.” The reality was slightly different. So far Sofia hadn’t managed to stand up on her board. She caught a few waves, she rode them a few yards but all she could do was laying on the board. Every time she had tried to get up, she ended straight in the water or worse, she hit herself on the board before she fell into the water.   
Sara, on the other hand, had rode a few waves and seemed to have no problems with standing on a board. The only comfort Sofia had was that at least half a dozen men had offered their help and were more than willing to give her some private lessons. Surfing was maybe not the sport she was best in, but it gave her the opportunity get in contact with a lot of very good looking men and that was a good reason to give the surf board another try.   
“Do you think I’m hopeless?”  
“No.”  
“Is there some talent in me?”  
“Sofia, you try to surf for the first time, I didn’t expect you to ride the wave like a pro does. Did you ever stand on a board? Without a wave under you that tries to make you fall?”  
“No.”  
“See. You need to get a feeling for the board, the waves.”  
“Do you want to tell me we shouldn’t try it again?”  
“We’ll try it again. I try to tell you that you shouldn’t expect too much. The waves are quite big today, it would be easier to start when the ocean is calmer.”  
“I don’t do easy things, I like challenges.”  
“And bruises.”  
“These two or three.”  
“Or five.”  
“Who counts?”  
“Maybe the good looking guy who was waiting for you.”  
“No, his eyes were fixed on…my eyes.” Sofia grinned. “He was too busy adoring me on the board. I rode the wave right to the beach, all I had to do was step down in the warm, dry sand and…you’re laughing again. You’re making fun of me.”  
“No.”  
“You do.”  
“You’ll ride a wave to the beach one day. Not ten feet but you’ll reach the beach, standing on your board and – well I can’t promise you a guy who adores you. But as far as I know you had a few guys already ready to adore you.”  
“They want to give me some private lessons. Unfortunately they’re all from Los Angeles, I need to find somebody in San Jose. I’ll write a surfboard on my shopping list; and a wet suit.” Maybe she got less bruises when she wore a wet suit.   
“Do you want to surf because you like to surf or because you like the attention of the men around you?”  
“Do I have to pick one? Can’t I take both?”  
“You can.”  
“Both.”  
“Thought so.”  
“Not everybody ignores them or tells them to bugger off.”  
“I didn’t tell them to bugger off.”  
“You weren’t that nice either.”  
“He didn’t deserve anything else.” Sara rolled her eyes. She had told a man to leave her alone, who tried too hard to get her attention. Only because they were on the beach without men it didn’t mean they were looking for some. She didn’t mind a nice conversation but the eyes of the other were more below her own eyes, she doubted he really wanted to talk.   
“Do I have enough talent to get another lesson?”  
“I thought you want one of the guys as your instructor.”  
“No, I prefer you. I need some basic skills, somebody who makes sure I do the right things and not somebody who makes sure I look good on the board. Not that this isn’t important but I look better when I know what I’m doing and when I’m able to stand on my board I’d like you to take a photo of me.”  
“I can take a photo of you already.”  
“On the belly? That’s boring.”  
“Lieutenant…”  
“Aw, that sounds so good…sorry, please go on.”  
“Nutcase. What I wanted to say was, we can take a photo of you standing on the board down at the water. We take another photo of the ocean, cut you and the board out of the first one and copy that in the second photo. Then it will look like you’re surfing a wave.”  
“When you take this photo of me from far, far away, so I’ll be a tiny spot, we can cope me into a huge wave and it will look like…”  
“You faked the photo, you’re a show-off and too stupid to surf.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Try to keep this a little bit more real, Sofia. Nobody will believe you rode a six foot wave when you have your first lesson.”  
“There’s no need to tell people it’s the first lesson, I could be a surfer since I’m a child.”  
“Sure, that’s why you never mentioned it.”  
“You’re not making me happy, Sara.”  
“I try to save you. You’ll embarrass yourself with a photo in a six feet wave.”  
“Alright, no huge wave. Take a photo of me laying on the board. I don’t like faking anyway.”  
“Do you need to fake often?”  
“How do you mean that?” Sofia grinned.  
“Fake evidence, fake statements…”  
“I know you didn’t mean it that way, Miss Sidle.” Sofia smirked. She had no problem to tell Sara what she was really asking for, but why make it easy for the brunette when she was teasing her? And she doubt Sara expected really an answer.   
“I’ll pretend I didn’t understand what you were suggesting and take my board for another try. Do you want to join me?”  
“Yes, I’m ready for some fun.” Sara grinned. She was ready to see how many guys offered their help this time. And if the blonde concentrated more on the guys or her board. 

“I think I can’t drive home tomorrow.” Sofia whined. She laid on her bed and tried not to move any limb.   
“Why is that?” Sara smirked. She could see the pain the blonde had and had to admit that she kind of enjoyed it. That was the price Sofia had to pay for her two hours extra surf lessons with a man who offered her the instruction. Sara had sat on the beach with her book and watched her friend surfing.   
Friend? Could she call Sofia a friend? After one week of living next door to the blonde, six evenings together and no fights they had the best relationship of all the time they knew each other. But were they friends? If they could keep this good relationship they had built in this one week and keep it through the next weeks and over the distance between San Jose and Fresno, Sara could imagine she and Sofia became friends.   
“You know exactly why.”  
“Because you couldn’t stop yourself from flirting with this guy who was really disappointed when you didn’t join him after the surf lesson. It was all over his face what plans he had with you.”  
“At one point in the water it was also very visible in his shorts what he had in mind. I wonder if I look so cheap, but I won’t ask you that because I’m afraid I’ll get an honest answer and I can’t handle meanness right now.”  
“You don’t look cheap, you’re blond.”  
“I said don’t answer the question.”  
“It’s rude not to answer a question.”  
“You never cared if you were rude years ago.” Parts of the old Sara weren’t that bad, now that Sofia thought about it.   
“I changed, the new Sara cares.”  
“So why did you answer so mean?”  
“I answered honest.”  
“The next time when you know or think I don’t like the answer, lie to me. That’s okay, I prefer a nice lie than an ugly truth.”  
“Don’t say that to your suspects, lieutenant.”  
“I won’t.”  
“Where do you have sore muscles?”  
“My tongue is alright, all the others are sore. At least it feels like that. That means I can’t do anything else than eating. You’ve to feed me with ice cream. This way I don’t have to chew and get all the calcium I need.”  
“I could cook a milk soup.” Sara offered with a sweet smile.   
“You want me to have an upset stomach too?”   
“I want you to get well soon so you can drive home tomorrow and don’t have to ask for sick-leave the first day you’re a lieutenant.”  
“I need a hot bath and alcohol. That will relax my muscles.”  
“You had a hot shower and I doubt your beer will help you.”  
“Instead of talking everything bad and being mean you should help me. And why don’t you have sore muscles?”  
“I didn’t overdo it with a guy.”  
“I want to learn how to surf.”  
“That’s why you should start slowly, take step by step and don’t be on the board for hours on your first day. If this guy had thought for a second with his brain and not that tiny thing in his shorts, he had told you the same.”  
“How do you know it was tiny?”   
“Guys like him? There’s no need to make a fuzz like he did if he wouldn’t be tiny.”  
“Interesting theory, tell me more.” She used just enough mock to make it clear to Sara that she didn’t have to talk to Sofia about men and her experience with them. All Sofia wanted was to tease the other woman.   
“No.”  
“Spoilsport.”  
Sara ignored the last comment. “Next time you know to stop after a while and give yourself a rest.”  
“Will you be there next time?”  
“It didn’t look like you needed me, you were busy with your new surf instructor.”  
“I liked you more as an instructor. You told how to surf and not how you like me to look on a board.”  
“I want to see you standing, riding a six feet wave.”  
“So do I.” Sofia smiled. She turned a bit so that she faced Sara, who was sitting on the sofa, feet up. She had no bruises, no sore muscles but a soft sun complexion.   
“What?” The brunette asked when Sofia didn’t say something after she looked at her for a few seconds. It was obvious to Sara Sofia wasn’t doing this to annoy her, the blonde was serious now.   
“Thanks for the great day, I had a lot of fun and it wasn’t because of this guy, it was because of you. I hope we can repeat this day.”  
“You’re welcome. Do you want to get your own board?”  
“I think so. If I get a good instructor.”  
“I told you I’m too expensive.”  
“How much to do want?”  
“More than you can pay.”  
“Is it because you don’t want me as your student or is it because my pay as a lieutenant is so poor?”  
“Do you still want this nice lie and no bad truth thing?” Sara grinned.   
“You’re mean!”  
“Cry me a river.”  
“You think I can’t move? You’re wrong, Sara Sidle.” Sofia got up, tried to stand, needed a second try, make a little step and let herself fall on Sara, who was laughing at the lieutenant in pain.   
“Ouch!”   
“Payback FOR a bitch.” Sofia said and started to tickle Sara.  
The brunette shifted her body to the left and Sofia fell down. Not willing to give Sara the satisfaction of winning, she grabbed the CSI and pulled her down so that both ended on the carpet.   
“You are a crazy bitch.” Sara complained.   
“You dared me, you deserve to fall.”  
“I fell on you.” That was the only good thing about this crazy idea of Sofia. Sara fell softly. The extra pain was exactly what Sofia deserved.   
“Yeah, your bones are sharp, eat a little bit more fatty stuff so you don’t hurt people that much.”  
“People are not suppose to pull me on the ground.”  
“As you just saw that can happen all the time.”  
“Yeah.” Sara got up while Sofia sat and tried to figure out which way of getting back on her feet was the least painful one.   
“Come on, blondie.” Sara offered Sofia her hand and pulled the blonde back on her feet. That was evidence enough for Sofia that Sara wasn’t mad at her.   
“Thanks…ouch…pain…can you carry me back to the bed?”  
“This one yard? Don’t be ridiculous and walk it.”  
“My muscles…”  
“You walk this yard and I get the mouse au chocolate out of the fridge.”  
“A heroine can do it! That’s one small step for a woman, one giant leap for mankind.”  
“Alright Neil, I knew you can do it.” Sara got the package with the mouse au chocolate and held it to Sofia who sat on the bed.   
After a second of thinking the blonde took Sara’s wrist and pulled onto the bed, next to herself.   
“What are you doing?” Sara’s first intention was to jump up and walk away. She could stop herself and stayed next to Sofia. There was no reason to run, there was no reason to get mad. The blonde had only pulled her down so that sat next to each other. She needed to trust Sofia a little bit, she had proved the whole week there was no reason not to trust her.   
“I tried to make a decision if I want to grab the mouse or you so you want walk away and this was the only way to get both. Come on, this is more comfortable, we share the mouse and watch a movie.”  
“Your sofa is comfy too.”  
“No sofa is as comfy as a bed…but you’re free to sit wherever you want of course.” Maybe Sofia had pushed her luck enough with the jump on Sara, she didn’t want to make the brunette angry by being annoying. This day went so well no need to spoil it by her big urge to play with Sara.   
“All you want is that I feed you.” The light smile on Sara’s face let Sofia feel relieved. The brunette wasn’t mad at her, she was alright with this.   
“No, never.” Maybe it had been a part of her idea, a tiny part she knew she would never make real. She pulled the blanket over her feet, opened the mouse, dunk the spoon in it and held it in front of Sara’s mouth.  
“You’re feeding me?”  
“Yes, one spoon for you, one for me. This way we share the fun, the great taste and…”  
“And the calories.”  
“Yes.” Sofia grinned.   
“You are the chocoholic, not me.”  
“I’m sure deep inside of you there’s a little girl who wants to have chocolate and loves chocolate. Deep, deep down maybe but I’m sure she’s there.”  
“This girl has taken over your body and mind.”  
“Maybe.” Sofia grinned satisfied when Sara took the first spoon. Now they were talking, finally an evening Sofia wouldn’t be the only one with chocolate all over her face and a stomach telling her, she had too much sweets. This night Sara would suffer with her. As soon as you started to eat mouse au chocolate there was no way to stop until the box was empty and they had a family package! 

Sunday, 15th of July

The alarm woke Sara up at eight o’clock. Sunday morning. Her last morning, the last hours in Los Angeles. The last hours with Sofia. Who would have thought, that there was a morning, she thought of the blonde detective after she woke up. Lieutenant, not detective anymore. Only one week could change so many things. If she was honest to herself, she knew, she was about to miss the time with Sofia, she would miss Sofia. It sounded so crazy. One week ago, she didn’t waste a thought of her former colleague, one week ago, she didn’t care what the blonde was doing. Now she thought of when to have a weekend in San Jose to meet Sofia. So crazy.   
What she supposed to do with that? How was she supposed to react? God, she had been so annoyed when she saw Sofia in front of her down at reception. There had been these little horror movie in her head, that she had to spend time with the blonde, that Sofia would driver her crazy with her smug and nosy way. If Sara had had a change at that moment, she had done anything to be somewhere else.   
She wondered how Sofia had felt. How she felt now. If she felt like Sara and if she was surprised about these feelings and thoughts too. But there was no way Sara would ask her these things. Never. She had a reputation to lose.   
She got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. In half an hour they were due for their last breakfast. Tine to take a shower, to get dressed.   
In a new record time she made herself ready, packed her suitcase and knocked on the door next door.   
With wet hair and a smile Sofia opened the door. Just like she did the first evening. A shower, a complete change of clothes and that in five minutes. Sara still wondered how Sofia managed to do that.   
“Good morning.”  
“Morning, how did you sleep?” Sofia stepped a little bit aside to Sara in. The room was chaos, clothes were all over the bed, the sofa and the table. It looked like a hurricane had hit the room.   
“Sorry, I tried to pack.”  
“And you packed your things in what? Just in the room or do you want to narrow that down to something else? Maybe your suitcase?”  
“Don’t be sarcastic, Sara,” Sofia grinned. “That’s not nice.”  
“I’m sorry. Shall I start the coffee?”  
“Yes, that would be nice. Our breakfast should be here any time soon.” Sofia had ordered breakfast for them. No need to waste time on making breakfast on your last day when there were enough other things to do. Cleaning up the mess, figuring out, how to get all your things in one suitcase and trying not to forget half of your belongings. A challenge on a Sunday morning.   
“I don’t understand why one bath suit is so big that my I can’t close my suitcase anymore,” Sofia complained.  
“Maybe it’s because the bath suit is attached to the other things you bought during the week. As far as I remember you were shopping in every lunch break.”  
“Just a view, necessary things, tiny things.”  
“The ‘I love Venice” shirt? Okay, it’s not that big, but the black costume, the brown skirt and the four blouses might take a little of the space.”  
“You know.” Sofia closed her suitcase, threw the rest of her clothes on top and made the decision, she’d leave them out. She was here with her car, there was no need to pack everything in one suitcase. She could get a bag when she was home and carry everything inside. “I’d prefer when you give me answers I like. Tell me something nice, Sara. It’s Sunday morning, I can’t handle the bad truth before I had my breakfast and my coffee.”  
“Well, I’ve to think about something nice that’s true.” Sara took the coffee and came back in the main room. She left the coffee on the table and walked to the door, where she had seen the housekeeper with the breakfast.   
Unsure where to go with the tray she looked around. The table was full, the two chairs were buried somewhere under towels, a jacket and only Sofia knew what else.   
“Outside isn’t the best idea, people are checking out, we’d sit in their way. Shall we go over to my room?”  
“So that I’ll see how to organize correct? No, thanks. There’s a big bed, you never had breakfast in bed? I took all my meals on my bed in college.”  
“No comment,” Sara grinned.  
“Because my desk was full with papers. And the bed is much more comfortable than a chair. All we need is…” Sofia dove half under her bed and got a big book from there.   
“You’ve a guide book hidden under your bed? Is it only a book or is the man, who held the book, still down there?”  
“The last time I checked he was gone.” Sofia smirked and put the coffee on the guide book. “It’s like an extra tray.”  
“Alright, breakfast on your bed it is.” Sara sat down.   
“Oh great, there are eggs. Breakfast deluxe.” Sofia dug her fork in the scrambled eggs. That was what she called a Sunday breakfast, with eggs, fresh toast, fruits and fresh bagels. Enough to bring her back to San Jose; well, if she needed a break during the drive, there was no way she’d leave the roadhouse without chocolate, but chocolate doesn’t count as food. Chocolate was something necessary, like air or water.   
“I think, I can skip lunch when we eat all these things.”  
“No, you can have a later lunch, but you can’t skip it. At least three meals a day, Sara. Better are five.”  
“Yes, five small ones and not five portions like this. That’s like a breakfast box for a football team. Did you make your cross in front of everything they offer?”  
“Of course. Twice. I didn’t want us to leave hungry. And I thought, if there are some leftovers, we can take them with us. You never know, a traffic jams occurs usually when you don’t have food and drinks around – and when you really need a bathroom.”  
“I looked up a route away from the main highways. I’ll take the slow way home, will take me four hours more, but I’ll see a different scenery and can have one or two little walks.”  
“I thought of having a swim in the ocean when I come along a nice beach. I need to use my new bath suit.”  
“Enjoying the holiday until the last hour.”  
“Yes.”  
“I think, you’ll have some celebrations tomorrow. The new lieutenant, a real reason to celebrate. A beer with the guys. Or two.”  
“Yes, I look forward to that. Do you want to join us?”  
“Unfortunately I’ve to work. I left Fresno for a week alone, it’s time to pick up all the pieces of my city, that are left. It’s time to send my team on a holiday and have a fight with all the papers, that will be on my desk.”  
“What a pity. I’d like to have you around.”  
“I’ll come to San Jose soon. Promise.”  
“Really?” Sofia stopped eating. That sounded like Sara had a date in mind.   
“Yes. I can’t give you an exactly date, but I think, I could arrange a weekend in San Jose in the middle or the end of September. If that suits you.”  
“Absolutely. We can talk about the exact date when we’re back home, have talked to our boss and colleagues. I’m sure we can work something out and I look forward to see you in my new town.”  
“Will I get the whole cop tour?”  
“No, it’s a private meeting, no need to drag you to cop pubs and through the department. You know how a police department looks like. I’m sure we’ll find better things to do. A walk around the beach, dinner in a nice restaurant on the bay.”  
“Sounds good.” Sara smiled.   
“Sounds crazy to me, to be honest. We’ll spend a weekend together, not accidentally like we did this week, we plan it. To be honest, it amazes me, sounds crazy.”  
“Want to hear something even more crazy?”  
“Sure.”  
“I think I’ll miss this week. It was fun, Sofia.”  
Sofia needed a second or two to work with this information. She never expected Sara to say something like that.   
“I’ll miss it too. We had some fun, hadn’t we?”  
“Oh yes. You can be a nice company, lieutenant.”  
“And you can be a very nice company too, supervisor. And you managed to be a whole week friendly, it’s kind of scary.”  
“Thanks.” Sara pouted.   
“You know what I mean.” Sofia blinked at her.   
“I do. Shall I shock you a little bit more?”  
“Are you daring me? How much I can take?”  
“Yes.”  
“Go on.”  
“I’ll…no, I won’t say that.”  
“What?” Sofia forgot to breathe for a moment. Was Sara serious or was she playing her? Was she about to say something personal, something about how it looked inside? Or was she testing how Sofia reacted?   
“Nothing.”  
“I want to know that now.”  
“Do you want to interrogate me?”  
“I’d love to. Unfortunately, you’re not a suspect, so I remind myself of the privacy policy I told you of before. The best thing about private life is that it’s private. No interrogation today.”  
“I can see how much you hate that right now.”  
“Yes.”  
“I enjoy it.” Sara smiled. No, she wouldn’t tell Sofia, what she was about to say. She couldn’t. It was too weird. 

The suitcase was in the trunk, her clothes, that didn’t fit in, were on top, nicely folded. Her bath suit was under her shorts and shirt, a towel over the passenger seat and the rest of the breakfast in a cooler box on the backseat. Sofia was ready to leave Los Angeles.   
But was she ready by heart to leave the place? She had her room locked, had the keys in her hands, all she had to do was going to reception, give back the keys and drive home. Almost ten, she wanted to be halfway to San Jose around one to have some lunch on a beach, a swim and be in San Jose around five or six.   
“Got everything?” Sara came out of her room, down the stairs to the car park.   
“Yeah, everything is packed. And you?”  
“Just checked the room again, clear. Time to leave the city of angels.”  
“Yes, time to go up north. Although I’ve to say, it is a really nice spot here. I’m glad I decided to stay in Silver Lake and not Downtown or somewhere fancy like Beverly Hills or Santa Monica.”  
“Of course you’re glad you stayed here, otherwise you hadn’t met me.” Sara smiled coy.   
“Maybe. At least I’ve a sexy swim suit because of you.” Sofia chuckled and walked towards the building. There was no reason to tell Sara, that she was right about her statement. Sofia was glad she had met Sara here. She was sure, she told the brunette often enough the last week. No need to give her ego a boost.  
They gave back the keys and walked back to their cars. Time to say goodbye.   
“Before you go in your car and take off.” Sofia stopped Sara by carefully holding her by her shoulders. “You need something.”  
“What?” Sara was slightly amused. Was Sofia about to give her a lecture, to drive carefully, not to speed and take breaks every two hours?  
“This.” She handed the brunette a piece of paper.  
“You cell phone number?”  
“Yes. That might help you to call me when you want to come to San Jose.” They didn’t exchange their number during the week, there had been no reason. They spent their evenings together, had no time the rest of the day. And none of them had asked the other for her number. Something Sofia remembered when she thought of asking Sara to give her a call when she was back. Just to know, the investigator was safe back home.   
“And I need to tell you I’m back in Fresno?”  
“Please.”  
“I consider it.” Sara smiled.   
“I’ll call my colleagues otherwise and let them search for you. Think about if you want that. For me, it would be very embarrassing when two cops stop in front of my place, knock on the door to make sure, I’m home and tuck in my bed.”  
“You’re nuts enough to do something like that, aren’t you?”  
“Don’t dare me, Sara.”  
“Alright.” Sara took the number. “Get your cell out.”  
Without questions Sofia got her cell phone out.   
“Listen carefully, lieutenant, I’ll give you my number only once, so you better type it in your cell. Ready?”  
“One mo…”  
“Set, go!” Sara said her number and Sofia somehow managed to type it down. Not under Sara’s name, but she had the number, everything she could do later.   
“You don’t want to make it easy for me, do you?”  
“You like challenges, you told me. That was the one for the goodbye. See you, Sofia.” Sara opened her door.   
“The old bitch is back,” Sofia sighed loud enough to let Sara hear it. “What a pity. She managed almost a week to be kind. See you, Sara.” Sofia turned. Before she could walk to her car, she got packed on her shoulders, spun around and found herself in Sara’s arms.   
“I should kick your ass for that comment, lieutenant, but I’ll forgive you this time. Have a safe trip.”  
“Thanks, you too. Don’t ignore the speed limit too often. I can’t get you out of trouble, I’m afraid.”  
“I’ll behave. Bye.” Sara let go of Sofia and smiled a bit. That was more a proper goodbye than the first version. 

Sara stopped not far away from Wofford Heights, just off the shore of Isabella Lake. Another 140 miles to go for her, time she was halfway home. Time for a break and a little walk. Leaving her car behind on the car park, she took her backpack with the food, a bottle of water and took off a little path next to the lake.   
The sun was shinning, it was a little bit after noon, she had seen families having lunch at a picnic area. She was looking for some quiet time, so she made the decision it was best, to have her lunch somewhere around the lake, where she could sit in the grass and watch the water. Like she did most times when she was out on a hiking trip. She took those trips to get away from people, to have some time for herself, have time to think of her work, her life, make some plans.   
Today she would use it to think about the last week. She had done that every night since Sunday. Truly a week to remember. And it wasn’t the seminar, that made the week so special, it was Sofia. Of all things the smug blonde lieutenant, former detective. What was Sara supposed to do with that?   
Add to that, Sofia had made her think of her old job in Las Vegas. It wasn’t like thought of going back, there was no way she would apply in Sin City again. Too many things had happened there, too many memories, she didn’t want to think of. Plus, she really doubted she could work with Ecklie. For Ecklie. She was fine in Fresno, she was the supervisor, she had a great team.   
Okay, she missed her old team too. Especially Greg. Maybe she would try to get him to Fresno one day. But knowing Greg, he loved Las Vegas too much. All the stories about the city, stories from ‘back in the day’, he loved to read and listen too. Las Vegas had lost a lot of it’s glory and fame of the late last century, but you could still parts of it’s history. All you had to do was look carefully and dig a little bit. Her friend did that.   
So why did she think about Las Vegas? It was a great time, it was over, she should be happy to have all these memories. Going back would destroy them, there was a reason why people said, you have to stop something when it’s nice. That keeps a positive memory.   
Sara sat down, put off her shoes and got her feet into the water. That was nice. A tree gave her some shade, the perfect place for lunch. And because she felt like teasing, she took her cell phone and typed a message to Sofia.   
I’ve my feet in water, under a tree, a lake all for myself. What about you? Found some cute surfer?  
She was sure, the blonde was looking for a spot to watch surfer. Maybe Sofia could get one guy into giving her another lesson. And in case Sofia hadn’t been fast enough with Sara’s number, she had it now. 

I’ve my feet in water, under a tree, a lake all for myself. What about you? Found some cute surfer?  
Sofia hat to smile. She hadn’t expect Sara to text her from her trip, she was happy when the brunette promised to text her when she arrived home. Now she got a text from Sara’s lunch place. She knew, the brunette wanted to make her jealous.   
I’ve a few surfers, a great beach walk and a souvenir for you. Santa Barbara is really great. We should go here together one day.  
First she wanted to stop somewhere quiet, but a look on her map told her, that taking the ocean route was already a detour and if she wanted to find a quiet spot, it would take her until the late evening until she was home. So she stopped in Santa Barbara, knowing, that the longest part of the trip was still ahead. But she had some fresh fish, a swim and was n her towel, letting the sun dry her. She watched people around her, playing beach volleyball, surfing, eating, reading, talking. It was nice. Sara had a quiet place, exactly what Sofia expected her to choose.   
The drive so far had been alright, no traffic jams, no delays. She wanted to stay another half an hour and then go on with her trip. Without this break her trip was around six and a half hours long, meant with a break of ninety minutes, she was up to eight hours, what brought her back to San Jose around six in the evening. Just in time for dinner.   
Why do you buy me a souvenir?  
Sofia laughed. She knew this question would come. It wasn’t necessary to know Sara’s whole story of life, it was obvious, the brunette couldn’t handle gifts from…what was Sofia? Could she call herself a friend of Sara Sidle? Or was she more a person, who Sara knew? Before this week, she was sure, she wasn’t more than a former colleague, now…now what? They weren’t friends, they had a great week together, that didn’t make them friends, did it? Sofia wouldn’t mind to call Sara her friend, but she wasn’t sure, if the brunette wanted that. Did Sara call anybody a friend? Except for her old colleagues from Las Vegas.   
Because I saw it, it reminded me of you, so I bought it. Don’t worry, I’ll only send it to you if I get your address. Otherwise you’ve to wait until we’ll see each other again.  
If she wanted Sara’s address, she simply could look it up. She was a lieutenant, there was no problem for her to find out an address. But she wanted the supervisor to tell her herself. If Sofia simply send the gift to Sara, Sara knew, Sofia had looked her up. That was a violation of her privacy policy and as the last week had showed her, this policy had brought her closer to Sara. It was so damn hard not to ask all these questions, she had in her mind. God knows, there were a lot of. But she was sure, one day she would get all her answers and the confidence of Sara Sidle.   
Sara. What a week with Sara. Sofia couldn’t be enough surprised of how the week had been. They had spent every night together, expired their stay in the motel to spent more time together. Sara had taught her how to surf. Or had given her the first surfing lesson ever.   
She had hugged Sofia! Sara Sidle had made some close contact with her. And it was her decision. Sofia had been very surprised. It wasn’t like she had intended to leave Sara with just a goodbye. She had planed to stop the brunette from leaving, even if she had turned away like she wanted to go to her car. That Sara had stopped her was even better.   
You were a detective, go detect!  
Sofia chuckled. Yes, she were a detective, she was a lieutenant now. She had people, who could go and detect for her. No need for herself to do it herself. Especially not, if it meant, she had to cross the privacy line.   
You know the thing about privacy. You don’t tell me, I won’t detect it. I stick to this rule, Sara.  
Could it be that she missed Sara already? She had to admit, she couldn’t remember of any colleague in San Jose, she had as much fun with as she had with Sara. Too crazy.   
Talking about crazy, she wanted to know what was the thing, Sara didn’t tell her. What was even more crazier and why didn’t Sara tell her? Oh, she had to see her again.  
She would see her again! Sara had promised to come to San Jose! Sara Sidle was about to spend a weekend with Sofia and the blonde was sure, the brunette wouldn’t book a motel if she offered her a place in her apartment. There was a couch, that was absolutely perfect for a sleepover. No reason for Sara to stay anywhere else.   
I allow you to find out that thing out. Thanks for the week. I’ll miss you, Sofia.  
Sofia held her breath. Sara would miss her? Now, that was the highlight of the week. Sara Sidle told her, she would miss her. Sofia smiled. Sara had enjoyed her week. She had said so, but these text made it very clear. Now Sofia didn’t doubt that Sara would visit her in San Jose. And it was the perfect end for this week.

August

Sara couldn’t remember when the last time was she was in San Jose. When she lived in San Francisco, there was no reason to go to San Jose. She had everything she needed in San Francisco and all she needed was her work. It was like in Vegas, who cares about the area if there was enough work?   
But, two weeks ago, Sofia had invited her to spend a weekend in San Jose. They both had the weekend off. Sofia had teased Sara, saying she would never have the great night life in Fresno like it was in San Jose. Not that Sara was a big fan of the nightlife in any city - she preferred a quiet evening instead of being in a crowd of strangers and having to yell at the one person you know there, to have any kind of conversation.   
“I’m sorry.” Sofia jogged the stairs down to the waiting area of the San Jose police department, where Sara was sitting.  
Again completely in black, she reminded Sara of a black panther on the run. And Sara felt like she could be the prey. Thank God she knew this panther was tame, even without seeing the reason in her ice blue eyes!  
The woman at the reception desk had offered to let her go upstairs to Sofia’s office, but Sara had said no thanks. It was five o’clock, Sofia was off the clock, so she would be here in a minute. No need to go upstairs and stress Sofia. It took her friend fifteen minutes to come down.  
“Don’t worry,” Sara assured her. “You’re a lieutenant, you’re responsible for your guys.”  
“Sometimes I feel like I’m responsible for a kindergarten. See you, Amy.” Sofia waved to the receptionist.   
“You don’t strike me as a schoolmarm,” Sara teased.  
“And what do I strike you as?”  
“More like the troublemaker.”  
“I’m in a position to make some trouble for you,” teased Sofia.  
“I know, you did that quite a few times already.”  
“You should remember you’re in my town. Everything you say can and will be used against you.”  
“If you start to read me my rights, will I find myself handcuffed in a few seconds?”  
Sofia grinned widely. “Only if you want it.”  
“No thanks! There’s no soft bed here to catch my fall and the sidewalk doesn’t look too cozy.” Sara responded.  
“Then be a good girl.”  
“I’m always a good girl.”  
“Uh hum.” Sofia bopped Sara in the hips. She could remember a few times when Sara wasn’t the good girl she pretended to be.  
“Sure, I’m”  
“Stop! Stop the thief!” The heads of both women popped around.   
All Sara could see was an angry face of a middle aged guy and a red blur. Sofia reacted faster. She moved her foot and the red blur flew on to the –as Sara mentioned before - not so cozy-looking sidewalk. It was a hard landing. Now Sara saw what or who was in such a hurry. A young man with red hair. He cursed, turned around, took a look to who he had to thank for being on the ground and stopped. About to take off, he instead froze as soon as he saw Sofia. The young man dropped back on the sidewalk and offered her his hands with a crooked smile.   
“Detective Dazzling, handcuff me, chain me to you, bring me into interrogation, and I’ll be yours.”  
Sara had to bite her lips to keep from laughing. Detective Dazzling? Handcuff me? I’ll be yours? Who was this guy to say such things to Sofia? And could he go away with that?   
Sofia sighed. “Felix.”  
“I called the police. Thanks for your help, ladies.” The middle aged man approached the three (with Felix still sitting on the sidewalk) and offered Sofia a handshake.  
“I am the police.” Sofia moved her jacket a little bit so that the man could see her badge on her belt.   
“Oh, wow, that was fast. Thanks, Officer. He’s a thief.”  
Officer? Sara wasn’t sure what was worse. A flirting suspect or an old man who demoted Sofia. Two ranks, to be precise. When she did that she ended up handcuffed!  
“What did he steal?” Sofia asked. To Sara, she didn’t look very impressed.   
“A loaf of bread.”  
Sofia looked at the young man with surprise. “A loaf of bread?”   
“Wholewheat.”  
“Okay. I need you to go down to the police station, fill in a complaint and we can work something out.”  
“I can’t close my shop! I’m alone, I have to stay here,” said the older man.  
“If he pays you, would you drop the complaint?”  
“I can’t” Felix started to say. Sofia’s look made the young man shut up.   
“He owes me three dollars.”  
“Here are five.” Sofia took a note from her pocket. “I’ll make sure he goes downtown and gets what he deserves.” Now Sara was even more surprised. Sofia paid for the bread for the young man? They must know each other.   
“No wonder this country is going under” The shopkeeper mumbled as he went back to his shop.   
“Lieutenant, not an officer, Stupid! Her stripes show that clearly.” The young man shouted after the shop owner.   
Sofia shifted her attention. “You stole a loaf of bread?”   
“Theft of food is forgivable.”  
“Says who?”  
“I think I read that somewhere”  
“Instead of reading trash you should earn some money.”  
“Tried to, nobody paid me this afternoon. Too much rain.”  
“You eat your bread, but don’t you dare to go this shop again. Don’t you dare to do that in another shop, and you will go to the police station now, tell them what you did and they’ll tell you what you’ll do to make it up.”  
“Can’t I just make it up to you?”  
“You’ll do that when you go downtown without me. See this lady next to me?”  
“Sure.” Felix smiled at Sara. “She’s a CSI. If you try to vanish, we’ll hunt you down. And I mean it. We’re both hungry, we’ve got a reservation in a restaurant, I don’t want to let her wait because you couldn’t stay out of trouble. Understand?”  
“Yes, Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“And the next time you’re hungry after a bad day, go to the soup kitchen. You’re close to ending up in jail for theft of food. Don’t play with the patience of my colleagues or me.”  
“Understood.”  
“Good. Get lost, now.”  
Felix got up, smiled at the two women, turned, and walked away. Before he reached the next corner, he stopped and turned.   
“Lieutenant?”  
“Yes?”  
“Thank you very much. You do what I call protect and serve. I hope there’s something I can do for you.”  
“It’s my job. And it’s your job not to get in trouble again. You tink you can do that for me?”  
“I’d do anything for love and you.” He blew her a kiss and vanished behind the corner.   
Sofia sighed deeply, had a last look at the young man, and then turned to Sara.   
“Sorry, for that. Let’s have dinner.”  
“Detective Dazzling? Lieutenant Lascivious?” Sara laughed. Finally she was allowed to laugh about all the things she’d witnessed! “Handcuff me? Chain me to you? Is that how a suspect talks to a lieutenant? And what is that, you’re sending a thief to the police station without an officer? Do you really think he’ll go there and report his theft?”  
“Yes.”  
“Yes?” Sara was stunned. Sofia really believes he will take himself in?   
“I’ll tell you about Felix when we’re in the restaurant.”  
“Sounds like a good story.”  
”Keep your thoughts clean, it’s not like you think.”  
“How did I” What was Sara supposed to think? A young man was obviously flirting with Sofia, it was even more obvious they knew each other. How could she think something wrong in this situation?   
“Just don’t.” Sofia grinned. She knew Sara had the wrong idea, there was no need for her to deny it.   
“I guess this might be a very interesting weekend.”  
“It will be.” Sofia guided them to a little restaurant where they got seated on a small table next to the window.   
Sara took a look around. A log fire was only a yard away from them, the light was not bright, but not too dim, it felt cozy being here.   
“Nice place.”  
“Best vegetarian pizza in the whole town.”  
“Did I make you become a vegetarian?”  
“No, you didn’t.”  
“So why do you know it’s the best vegetarian pizza?”  
“I did a little research. You thought I’d invite you to San Jose and take you to a steak house?”  
“Well, before this afternoon I’d have said no, but now, after I saw what happened on the street, I’m not that sure anymore of what you’re capable of, Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“You like that, don’t you?”  
“Actually I prefer Detective Dazzling.” Sara had a cocky smile.   
A waitress took their drink orders and, as both women knew what they wanted to eat, they ordered that as well. Both went for the vegetarian pizza.  
“Does he call you Lieutenant Lust after ten p.m.?” Sara went on teasing Sofia.  
“If you go on like this you’ll find yourself in handcuffs again.”  
“Do you like restraining me?”  
“If you deserve it.”  
“Maybe I can get the number of Lady Heather for you”  
“Shut up.”  
“Did you ever meet her?”  
“Privately? Sure. I had my best evenings with her.”  
“Don’t play me.”  
“Don’t ask stupid questions.”  
“I didn’t.”  
“Just shut up and listen while I tell you what you want to know. Felix, that’s my little young friend’s name, was the first guy in San Jose I arrested. It was almost the same situation like today. He stole some apples, I caught him. Since that time I’ve met him a few times at the police station, and every time he was charged with some theft of food or drinks. Always non-alcoholic drinks. Usually he’s singing in the mall, making some money that way. On bad days, with a lot of rain, he has no money and ends up in custody.”  
“If he doesn’t get rescued by a lieutenant.”  
“That was the first and last time I did that for him. I got rid of the shop owner because I didn’t want us to be late for dinner.”  
“It was all for our dinner?”  
“What do you mean, ‘all for our dinner’?” Sofia looked suspiciously at Sara.  
“Not for Felix?”  
“Why should I do that for Felix? He got himself in the shit.”  
“Detective Dazzling, Lieutenant Lascivious. Handcuff me, chain me to you, interrogate me, I’m yours. He’s flirting with you, Sofia.”  
“Being in his position I’d also try to charm the police.”  
“I’m sure he wouldn’t say that to another cop. Only to you.”  
“Okay, so maybe he’s flirting, you know how old he is? He could be my baby brother.”  
“I bet he doesn’t see an older sister in you.”  
“I can’t change his fantasies, I can only say, they’ll never come true.”  
“That will break his heart.”  
“If he wants, he can impress me by not being in custody for a couple of months.”  
“Let him enhance his skills and no shop owner will catch him anymore.”  
“For a CSI, being on the other side of the law than a thief, you sound like you support him. Shall I call your supervisor and have a talk with him about this?”  
“I like Felix, he seems to be alright.”  
“He is. I just have to get him out of the habit of stealing.”  
“Does he have family?”  
“I don’t know. He’s an adult, so I can’t ask for a telephone number to call his parents.”  
A woman came to their table.   
“Sofia.” She had long red hair, gray eyes, and looked like she was in a very good shape.   
Sofia’s expression on her face changed immediately. From the warm smile she had for Sara to a reserved look. Obviously she wasn’t happy to see this visitor.   
“Monique. How are you?”  
“What are you doing here?”  
“Having dinner.”  
“I haven’t seen you in a long time.”  
“I’m working.”  
“So do I.”   
Sara had no idea who this woman was, but she was ignoring Sara. And Sara could clearly feel the tension between them.   
“So have you started to pick up anybody on the street?”  
Sofia’s eyes showed her anger. “Whatever I do is none of your business, Monique.”  
“A little weekend fun?”  
“I think you should leave.”  
“I thought you’d have better taste than that.”  
“That’s enough. Go.”  
“Why? You’re afraid of”   
The waitress brought the pizzas. “Are you going to join them?” she asked Monique.  
“No, she’ll leave now.” Sofia’s tone made it clear she wouldn’t accept one minute more with Monique at their table. “Right now.” “  
See you aroundand your side dish.” Without even looking at Sara the woman took off.   
Sofia buried her face in her hands. That was not what she wanted for their dinner. Probably that was the worst thing that could happen to her tonight. The little show with Felix was a kind of cute or funny, this was embarrassing and annoying.   
“I’m so sorry.” The words were whispered, not spoken, but loud enough for Sara to hear them. Sofia’s face peeked through her hands. Sorrow was in her eyes.   
Sara took the hands away and put her hand on Sofia’s.  
“You don’t have to feel sorry, you didn’t do anything. Just forget it and let’s have some pizza. I’m starving.”   
“Thanks.” Sofia smiled lightly. Sara wouldn’t ask her, Sofia knew it. Just as Sara wished that people respect her private life, so did she respect other people’s private lives.   
Without another word they finished their pizza. Sofia ordered two glasses of red wine for them, then moved over to sit next to Sara.   
“You mind?” She asked before she sat down.  
“Not at all.” Sara smiled. She knew Sofia wanted to talk to her about the incident earlier, but she didn’t want to talk loud, didn’t want half of the restaurant listening to what only Sara was supposed to hear.   
“I’m still really sorry for that scene. Monique and Ishe’s my ex.” Sofia expected Sara to move away from her, look shocked, or do anything, that would show any kind of disgust. When nothing like that happened, Sofia relaxed a little bit.  
“I can tell from her reaction, it was you who ended the relationship.” Sara’s words were soft, softer than usual. Sofia relaxed even more, immediately. No shock, no disgust, all that Sara showed was sympathy.   
“Yes. A couple of weeks ago. The problem – or one of the many problems – is, she works in the department. We bump into each other on a regular basis. That makes it more difficult to get some space and she doesn’t want any space. That was the reason why I told her, I can’t have a relationship with her anymore. She wanted us to move in together, I needed more space. She wanted us to start to build a future, I wasn’t sure if there was a future. Don’t get me wrong, it was a great time, I don’t blame her for anything. We were too different, that was all. Being different is alright, it makes things more interesting, but when the differences are the main points of a relationship - and when the important differences in your lives are too big, there’s no reason to keep a relationship alive.”  
Sara listened attentively.   
“I started to feel more comfortable when she was away, I enjoyed my time, didn’t look forward to seeing her after work. She put the pressure on me, we had to work on our relationship. I had no hope in rescuing it. She wanted me to stay a detective so that we could work together; I wanted to become a lieutenant. The week before the tests, I told her, I didn’t want her in my life anymore as a partner. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I needed to concentrate on my tests, needed to do what made me happy and I knew, it wasn’t her.”  
Sofia took a breath and continued.  
“She didn’t want to hear those things. She told me, if I just stay in my job, if we just spend more time together, everything would be fine again. We should go on holiday, really get an apartment together and maybe buy a dog. All these thoughts scared me. They really did. I told her, she wanted me to do all the things I didn’t want to do, and she said, she knew what I really wanted, I shouldn’t worry about it. That was it. I was done with her for good.   
People can tell me a lot of things but nobody can tell me what I want. Nobody has the right to make my decisions. Especially when they definitely don’t listen to what I say, what I think, what I feel.   
After I made her leave she came back the next day. I had the locks changed, she couldn’t come in, things were getting worse. She started to harass me at work in a way only I would notice. I told her, if she didn’t stop that, I’ll go to our chief and report her. No matter what the consequences were for me. I like San Jose but it’s not like I can’t imagine ever going anywhere else and I’d rather to go to another city and live in peace than stay here.   
Then I went to L.A. for my tests. I wanted to take them there, away from all the trouble here. We met in the motel, I thought, if you give me a hard time again, as you did the first time in Vegas, I’m gonna blew my tests and kill you for it. But we had such a great time, you helped me to stay calm and I made lieutenant. I’m not sure if I had made it without you, but I’m sure if I had made it, I wouldn’t have been that good. Talking to you in the evenings helped me to relax and get my head straight. Thanks for being there at that time.”  
“I didn’t know I’d done anything,” Sara said.  
“Well, that was the point of it. Because you didn’t know anything about this, it was easy and nice with you. Our evenings were like a safe haven, I looked forward to seeing you every evening. My first idea of having a quiet week just for myself got run over, but I think it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I’m very happy we met again, I’m very happy we had all that fun and I’m even happier that we’ve managed to stay in contact after we both left L.A.”  
Sara crooked her head. “If you want to hug me now, make damn sure your jealous bitch isn’t around. I don’t want to get hit on the head by whatever she gets in her hands first.”  
Sofia started laughing and really hugged Sara.   
“Thanks.” Sofia mumbled.   
“What for?”  
“For reacting the way you did.”  
“What did you expect I’d do? Leave the restaurant or the city? Because your ex-girlfriend is a jealous bitch? Because you have an ex-girlfriend? What does that change? You’re still the same. I don’t care who you go to bed with.”  
“But now you know why I don’t care that Felix is maybe flirting with me.”  
“Not maybe, he is.”  
“Well, if I’d go for a man, then it has to be a man and not a boy. He’s cute, but all he does to me is the same a puppy would do. I see him, I think, how cute, a baby and that’s it.”  
“That will break his heart.”  
“It won’t.”  
“But did I get you right? If that bitch is bothering you, you’ll leave? Shall I ask around in Fresno if they need a lieutenant?”  
“You want to have me in Fresno?”  
“I think it might be interesting to work with you again. And if you want to leave your place here, it would be cheaper to move to Fresno than toMilwaukee.”  
“Why on God’s earth should I want to move to Milwaukee?”  
“Somehow it was the first strange place that came to my mind.”  
“Very strange. But no, she doesn’t bother me anymore, she got the message. Why she was here today, why she had to behave the way she did, I’ve no idea. She must be jealous, thinking you’re my new girlfriend. That was maybe a try to scare you away.”  
“If anybody would leave you for her poor show, than she isn’t worth it to be with you. A jealous ex isn’t a reason to leave somebody. Not if the ex get sent away.”  
“I’m guessing if you ran into an ex-girlfriend of a date of yours, you’d kick her ass for a scene like that.”  
“I was thinking of doing that towhat was her name? Monica? Whatever. I made the decision, she’s not worth the effort.”  
“She isn’t or I’m not?”  
“If I’d had the impression you couldn’t handle her, I’d have done something. You’re a tough cop, you can kick ass without my help.”  
“Unfortunately it’s more difficult to kick ass when it’s a private matter.”  
“If we meet her again this weekend, I’ll kick her ass for you.” Sara said with a grin. “I’m pretty sure there’s enough bitch left in me.”  
“You’re losing it more every time I meet you. One day you won’t be a bitch at all. Be careful, Sara Sidle, you might a lovely woman one day and people want to spend all their time with you.”  
“That would turn me back into bitch again, no doubt.” Sara grinned and blinked at Sofia who relaxed completely next to the brunette. Sara didn’t make Sofia responsible for Monique’s show and was cool about Sofia having ex girlfriends. She had experienced that different from people she considered as friends until she found out, they weren’t friends. They were nothing more than people she unfortunately knew. 

“Is this what you do when you’ve got a weekend off? You have breakfast in a café and five minutes later you stop again for another coffee?” Sara asked amused. She and Sofia had hardly finished their breakfast in a little café in an open-air mall and Sofia was about to lead them to a shop that advertised coffee to go.   
“If I had a weekend off, usually somebody made plans for me, so I never had the chance to do whatever I wanted. Later I enjoyed my free days on the beach, long shopping tours, day trips to San Francisco or the worst, but most of the time the most necessary possibility: cleaning the apartment. And you’re a coffee junkie too.”  
“Yes.”  
“So, medium or large? Bear in mind I’m gonna take you to an outdoor event and you won’t miss a second of this event just because you need another coffee.”  
“Large.” Sara looked suspiciously at Sofia. “What kind of outdoor event?”  
“Oh, you’ll like it, let me surprise you.” Sofia got a large black coffee for Sara and a large one with cream and sugar for herself. Sara expected her to take her to a big open place, a stadium or anything like that, but instead Sofia dropped herself down on bench.   
“This is your open air event?” Where was the event? Where was anything They were surrounded by a lot of people, in a mall, all on their way to different shops... that was not an event.   
“Hey, you’re sitting here with me, that should be event enough for you.” Sofia laughed.   
“Yeah, sure. You might be an event for every second man walking past, at least if I see the looks they throw at you, but that is not what I understand to be an event. An astonishing blonde in the mall is nothing that makes me leave my bedroom on a Saturday morning.”  
“Astonishing?” Sofia grinned. “Thanks. And believe me I wouldn’t let you leave the bedroom as long as I am in. It would never cross your mind to miss a second with me”  
“You’re awful smug sometimes.”  
“Didn’t you just call me astonishing?”   
“You damn well know most guys think you’re sexy and I’m sure most of your single male colleagues, shit, probably even the married ones, wouldn’t mind having a Saturday morning with you in their bedroom.”  
“Thanks again. I have to say I really enjoy your company on a Saturday morning. You’re quite charming. But I can assure you, we’re not here for being the most admired women in the city. They look at you too, when you smile nobody can resist you. By the way I love that little gap between your teeth.”  
Sara rolled her eyes. “I hated it as a child and a teenager. No matter what I tried, it stayed, so I thought: screw it, it belongs to me.”   
“Very sexy, let me tell you. I’m sure if I take you to the Girls Night tonight, you’ll get more invitations than anybody else.”  
“I am not going to a Girls Night tonight,” Sara protested. There was no way she would go in a club, listen to loud music, got forced to dance and end up in a conversation she didn’t want to have.   
“Afraid of the girls?”  
“You can’t scare me with the girl thing, it’s the club I don’t want to do. Take me somewhere quiet and I’ll be fine, no matter if it’s a scene restaurant, or not. I’m not suffering from homophobia.”  
“I found that out yesterday evening. You would have left the restaurant if you do.”  
“Working as a CSI for over ten years I’ve seen worse than an ex-girlfriend being pissed off. I saw a lot of scenes that ended up deadly.”  
“And being a CSI I know you know how to handle a gun so you can take care of me.”  
“I can, yes.”  
“Good. There’s our reason of sitting in the mall, in the open air, getting a complexion and being admired.” Sofia pointed to a place a few yards away. A young man with a guitar case had taken position and was preparing to play. His red hair was enough for Sara to know who he was. Felix.  
It took Felix only a few seconds to see the women. He sent a big smile to them and took out his guitar.   
“We have an open air concert? This is something special.”  
“It is. He’s good, you’ll enjoy it.”  
“If I like him, I might save him from ending up in custody again. Do you know if he went there?”  
“He did. Twenty hours of social service, he’ll do that in a primary school, teaching the kids how to play guitar. I wish he would do something like that for a living instead of singing in the mall, not knowing if he’ll get enough money for dinner, not enough money for an apartment.”  
“You really like him.” Sara could hear the concern in Sofia’s voice. The lieutenant had thought about the young man quite a lot and she worried. It wasn’t a big step from being a food theft to become a criminal who took more than bread.   
“I worry about him.”  
“That’s what I mean.” Sara smiled. She didn’t assume Sofia was interested in the young man as she had teased her yesterday, until she heard Sofia wasn’t interested in men…wait, she never said, she wasn’t interested in men, she just said she had a girlfriend. That didn’t mean she was generally not interested in men.   
On the other hand, it didn’t matter whom Sofia was interested in as long as she was happy. And she seemed to be quite happy, singing softly with Felix’s voice “Mr. Brightside”.   
“I don’t know him but I think, he likes the life he has.” Sara said after the first song.   
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, he’s free, he is his own boss. If he’s tired of a place, he takes his guitar and goes to the next city. Nothing holds him here, he’s free to go whenever he feels like that.”  
“He can quit a job when he’s tired of it.”  
“Not the same.”  
“Do you have gypsy blood in you?” Sofia asked, grinning.  
“Not as far as I know. I can only understand why somebody doesn’t want to be in a system, why you want to keep your freedom.”  
“Being an CSI for over ten years you can’t have a lot of freedom in your life either.”  
A dark shadow appeared for a part of a second on Sara’s face and made Sofia immediately regret saying that. It wasn’t meant to be a question about Sara’s past. It was more a statement because she knew the investigator had been a successful student in college and then went straight to the CSI.   
And yes, Sofia knew about Sara’s childhood. She had read parts of her file when she worked in Las Vegas. She never mentioned it to Sara, she never made a comment about that, as long as Sara didn’t want to talk about her childhood, it wouldn’t be a topic in their conversations. And if she needed more time, Sofia was willing to give it to her. All the time in the world.   
“I never wanted to do anything else.” Sara finally said. “At least not until I left Vegas and even then I ended up in the same job again, just another destination.”  
“You’re good in your job, having you as a CSI makes the country safer.”  
“Thanks.” Sara smiled. “Who’s the charming one?”  
“Honest one.”  
“Is sometimes the same.”  
“Maybe.”   
Sara watched Felix. The young man caught her eye and smiled. After he finished his second song, he threw a long look to Sofia and his eyes started to sparkle and he smiled boyishly. A few seconds later the women knew why. He played Elvis’s “Jailhouse Rock”.  
“He’s” Sofia started.  
“great,” Sara finished. “I like his music and his humor. It was really a good idea to come here.”  
“I’m gonna kick his ass for this.”  
“All you want is being close to his ass, be honest,” teased Sara.  
“Do I have to threaten you again with the handcuffs?”  
“No, I know now you like having me or in fact probably anybody in chains. Is that why you joined the force?”  
“Bite me.”   
“Only if there’s no lunch later.” Sara grinned.   
“Bitch.” Sofia said playfully.  
“You bet.” She finished her coffee and took Sofia’s empty cup to the rubbish bin. Conveniently for her she came near Felix’s spot. Sofia had no idea what she said to the young man, but he smiled and nodded.   
“What did you say?”  
“You will find out.”  
“What. Did. You. Say. To. Felix?”  
“Well, you’re a lieutenant, you’ll find out.”  
“It sounded better with the detective and detect.”  
“I know but if I say that I’ll end up on the ground, handcuffed. You don’t have to be a good investigator to investigate, there are a lot of things, I don’t want to have in my face.”  
“Some little city dirt, I’m sure you’ve got the same in Fresno.”  
“Our dirt is cleaner than yours.”  
“Sure.”  
“Stop picking on my town.”  
“Your town?”  
“Yes, my town. I like it there.”  
“I might visit you there one day.”  
“You better do and find out how wonderful it is.”  
“Whatever. I can remember you’ve got ahanging garden?”  
“That’s Babylon. We’ve got an underground garden.”  
“Whatever. I don’t think”  
“Hah, he’s so great!” Sara’s attention was back at Felix. As he started a new song, he winked to Sara.   
“May I ask you to dance?” Sara asked Sofia.  
“What?”  
“May I ask you for a dance?”  
“If you want, I can save the last dance for you.” Sofia recognized the song, it was “Save The Last Dance For Me”, an old classic. “But that doesn’t mean this is the last dance.”  
“This is the first and last chance for you get a dance with me.”  
“In that case, let’s save the last dance.” Sofia rolled her eyes with a smirk. She hoped none of her colleagues would see her, she’d lose all of her reputation if somebody saw this or - even worse – had a cell phone and took a photo or video.   
Laughing and to the applause of some people, they danced to Felix’s song. At the end, an old couple joined them for a few steps, both in their mid-seventies, and obviously enjoying their little dance. Maybe it was sometimes good to be crazy, it could brighten up your life!  
Felix went straight into the next song for a dance with “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen. Sofia and Sara dropped back on their bench and laughed when he tried to make them dance again.  
“I’ll be in devil’s kitchen if anybody finds out I’m dancing to the music of a guy I sent downtown yesterday. You’re not good for my reputation.”  
“You’re having a day off, you have fun, I’m sure nobody will have a problem with that.”  
“That was really lovely, ladies.” The elderly couple approached them. “It’s nice to see that young people still know how to have a little fun. We would never have had this dance without you. Thank you very much.”  
“You’re welcome.” Sara grinned.   
“This new Sara Sidle is full of interesting surprises.”   
“I can see you like her.”  
“I do, I certainly do. Do you?”  
“I do enjoy her, indeed.”  
“Let’s get some more coffee, I think we can stay a little bit longer here, listening to our personal rock star.”  
“I’m buying. Large?”  
“Large with cream and sugar.”  
“Of course. Keep my seat.”  
“I saved the last dance for you, I’ll keep the seat too.”  
Sara laughed. What a crazy weekend and she enjoyed every second of it. She should visit Sofia more often.

At nighttime, when she curled herself into a ball on Sofia’s comfortable sofa bed, she felt absolutely tired. What a day. She couldn’t believe she was dancing in the mall this morning. That wasn’t a thing an adult does, that was something children do. Dancing around happily in the streets on a sunny day, singing to music. Maybe because her childhood wasn’t that happy and joyful, she never had the idea to be in the mall and dance around with a friend. She didn’t have a friend. She didn’t have parents who took her to the mall.   
It must have been her inner child, desperately taking over to catch an experience of childish joy, when she took Sofia’s hand and danced with her. She didn’t think about what the other people would think, she didn’t care if she looked ridiculous. All she wanted was to feel careless and free and she did. And it showed after it, she inspired somebody else to dance. The old couple seemed to enjoy their little dance too.   
Felix had tried to make them dance a few more times, but this one dance was perfect, that was all Sara had wanted. They had listened for another two hours to Felix, made sure he would have enough money for a lunch and dinner and then went away for their own lunch.   
For the afternoon they went to the ocean, walked barefoot in the sand for a few hours and came back to downtown San Jose city for a dinner in a quiet restaurant. No club, no more dancing. Both were tired, both enjoyed sitting in a cozy place and talking to each other. It seemed like Sara could do this with Sofia for hours. She never had that with somebody else and she liked it.   
She was amazed how much her relationship to Sofia had changed. Why had they never noticed how good they got along years ago? Did they change so much? Was it because they never took the time to have real private chat? Or was it because work was too important for them? Whatever it was, Sara was happy that it had changed.   
And she really liked their agreement about their private lives. Don’t ask questions, wait until the other tells you everything. She had no idea how it was for Sofia but for Sara it was much more comfortable to be around people she knew wouldn’t ask her anything she didn’t want to talk about. In this situation it was easier for her to reveal something from her private life freely. It felt good to tell Sofia some secrets of her life, to tell her things that she wouldn’t tell anybody under other circumstances.   
Sofia told her piece by piece things from her private life. A jealous girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. No, Sara had never thought Sofia would have girlfriends, but she never had wasted a thought about that. When this woman was standing in front of their table, Sara was first confused and then annoyed. How could that woman dare to talk in that way to Sofia? If a relationship was over, it was over. And if you haven’t understood it after a few weeks, you might need to go and seek some help.   
Felix was another interesting part of this weekend. Sara had an idea how to help the young man, she would have to talk to an old friend in Fresno. While she and Sofia were walking through the city she noticed a little pub that was also in Fresno. The owner must be the same, maybe he would hire Felix for a few hours per week. That would keep the young man’s freedom and bring him some money for an apartment and food. Sofia was right, sooner or later Felix would end up in jail. Even if he never took more than he needed for a meal, the judge would be sick of him one day and send him to jail.  
Oh my god, she drove to San Jose to meet Sofia, she talked the whole day with her, she made plans to help a stranger, what did happen to her? What happened to the old Sara Sidle? Was anything left of her? Or was Sara now her complete self? Would it be wrong to be the new Sara Sidle? It felt good, it couldn’t be too bad then. Sara was sure she would get used to her new self and like it. Very much. 

September

“Who had this awful idea?“ Sofia stopped, dropped down on her knees and closed her eyes. Pain. So much pain. Her back was everything but pleased with her. Her legs were on the side of her back’s and her feet stopped having feeling at all hours ago.   
“You.” Sara stopped and looked down on Sofia. They were in the Yosemite National Park for a long hiking weekend. The Vogelsang Trek would be their home for the next three days and two nights. Or if they needed more time, for four days and three nights. Sofia’s private nightmare.  
“I thought, we might walk along the Valley, have a coffee every now and then, adore all the lovely things you can see within reach of a coffee every thirty minutes. I never thought we’d train for the army.”  
“Isn’t there a basic level of fitness for all lieutenants?”  
“That doesn’t include hiking with a ton of whatever on your back. I catch bad boys, not carry them!”  
“You’re in a perfect shape, the only problem you’ve got is, your muscles are trained in the wrong parts of your body. Or shall I say, you haven’t trained the muscles you need for this hike enough, but the rest of your muscles are perfect?”  
“Why are you thinking about my muscles?” Sofia tried to lift her head to look into Sara’s face.   
“Because they are very important to me. If they suck, I’ll have to wait for you, Little Softy, and listen to you whine.”  
“Let’s keep going.” Sofia pushed herself up and went with energetic steps away from Sara, who started to laugh. She knew if she assaulted the pride of the lieutenant, she would stop complaining and walk on. Pride was a thing people could use against you if you couldn’t control it.   
They were at the first climb, almost five miles along Rafferty Creek.   
“What do you have in your backpack?” Sara observed, looking at the big backpack of her friend. It was the same size as hers but it looked heavy.   
“Only important things.”  
“Like?”  
“What do you have in yours?”  
“Sleeping bag, a little tent in case it rains, food, some clothes, basic toiletry stuff, a bear box.”  
“Same, just, instead of a tent I’ve got some beer. I figured it would be nice to have some beer when we’re at the campground. It won’t rain.”  
“You have beer in your backpack?” Sara couldn’t believe it. How could Sofia bother to carry the weight of beer? Of course the thought of having a cold beer after a hard hiking day was wonderful but not if the beer made the hike even more difficult.  
“Yes.”  
“How much candy did you pack?” Sofia didn’t have to mention candy; Sara knew she would have plenty of them in her backpack.   
“We’re exercising. I need a lot of energy for these three days.”  
“How much?”  
“A few bars.”  
“A few bars?” Sara was sure Sofia wasn’t talking about a few muesli energy bars, like the ones Sara had in her backpack. Sofia was talking about big blocks of chocolate and huge bags of candy. Probably she had a little box of snacks in her backpack. No wonder the climb was so exhausting for her.  
“If you start to complain about my food I won’t share with you.”  
“Do you haveforget it.” Sara grinned when she caught Sofia’s angry look. “Would you stop for a second? Please.”  
“Why?”  
“Just do it.” Sofia stopped and waited until Sara was by her side.   
“And now?”  
“Now you can take a picture of me with this great tree. I should hug it to make clear how big it is. And it’s not even a Giant Redwood.”  
“If you start to collect bugs I’ll leave you behind.”  
“Don’t worry, I’m not into bugs.”   
She had never shared Gil’s interest in bugs. They never bothered her, but they also never interested her. She handed her camera to Sofia and hugged the tree. Some people say you get energy by hugging a tree. The power of nature will be transferred to your body and you’ll feel strong again. It was worth a try.   
“You don’t consider a camera as a dispensable weight?”  
“No, I consider a camera as a great way to keep some everlasting memories about this hike.”  
“I’m sure your picture with the sunset and a beer in your hand will be great.”  
“We’ll see. Thanks.” Sara clipped her camera on her backpack to be ready to take a picture as soon as she saw anything exciting.   
“Maybe we’ll see a bear,” Sofia said.  
“I can’t share your positive excitement about a huge predator crossing our way. It won’t like having us around, and will try to steal our food. That’s why we have everything in the container.”  
“Which makes it impossible to grab a bar while we’re walking.”  
“You shouldn’t eat while you’re walking that’ll give you side stitch,” Sara advised.  
“What are you? My mom?”  
“Your concerned friend.” The innocent smile in Sara’s face let Sofia forget her grumpy thoughts. And mention the word ‘friend’ still made Sofia’s heart jump. It was good to hear Sara call her a friend.   
“I’m the lieutenant, I’ve gotta take care of you, so I should worry about you.”  
“Do you want to carry my backpack so that I don’t have to do it?” Sara asked.  
“I said I’ll take care of you, I’ll protect you, not that I want to play your boyfriend in kindergarten.”  
“I didn’t have a boyfriend in kindergarten - I think.”  
“Probably scared them all away with your charm.”  
“Save your breath for the walk, detective.”  
“Lieutenant.”  
“Officer.”  
“You think I don’t have my handcuffs with me?”  
“By the look of your backpack you’ve got half of the department in there.”  
“I do. So be careful what you say. I might leave you chained to a tree for a snack for the bears.”  
“You wouldn’t do that, that would mean you failed taking care of me and you never fail doing your job.”  
“I’m off duty.”  
“Being a part of the police force means you’re never off duty.”  
“If you go on like this I’ll be tired just because of your talking and not because of the walking.”  
“It’s my pleasure to exhaust you.” Sara said as she grinned and took a picture of a flower.  
“Bitch.”  
“Beautiful, intelligent, talented, charming, humorous.”  
“Beast in total control here.”  
“Save your breath for the hike, honey,” Sara teased.  
Sofia turned around quickly, threw an evil look at Sara, and went on walking. Sara smirked. She knew it would be fun to spend these three or four days with Sofia in the national park.   
Sara took some pictures of Mount Conness and White Mountain and later of Kuna Crest and Sierra Crest, which told her the steepest part of their trek so far was over. It had been four hours and a few minutes since they’d left their car. She took a second for a deep breath. She loved the clear and cool air here. In Fresno it had been over seventy degrees, here it was maybe fifty-five. Their destination for the day was over 11,340 foot high, and it would be cold up there at night, another reason why Sara had taken her tent with her. It would help to keep her a little bit warmer. 

“Can we take a little break?” Sofia asked after they hadn’t talked for almost an hour. It has been a nice kind of silence. Both were too much in their own thoughts, too concentrated on the path and the nature around them. They couldn’t be too far away from Rafferty Creek now.  
“Sure, we’re not in a hurry.” They dropped the backpacks on the ground and sat next to them.   
“I have to say the view is great and I really enjoy the nature.” Sofia took the chance and got some chocolate out of her backpack, which she offered to Sara, who took a small piece. Unlike Sofia, Sara didn’t believe chocolate would make her hike better; she believed every piece of chocolate would end up on her hips and make the hike more difficult.   
“Have you been hiking in the Yosemite before?”  
“No, I usually do treks down at the ocean,” Sofia answered. “I love the water and the hikes are almost sea level, easy to walk. If I go up in the mountain it’s for snowboarding.”  
“That explains why your muscles are not used to this.”  
“Yes and my last snowboard trip was over six months ago. The thin air here gives me a hard time too.”  
“We can walk slower and make some more stops, there’s no time limit, we’re free to take our time.”  
“As long as it won’t be that steep again, I’ll be fine. Do you come here often?”  
“I try to spend at least one day every two weeks here or in SeKi,” Sara answered. “When the weather is good it can be an overnight hike too.”  
“You should get a dog for some protection. A big dog to scare away the bears.”  
“They really get to you, don’t they? I tell you what, I’ve seen a few bears while I was hiking but they never tried to attack me. It’s a strange feeling to see a bear in front of you, it’s not my favorite view but so far nothing had ever happened to me. You stay clear of them and they’ll not bother you.”  
“They break your car windows when they see a shopping bag,” Sofia said.  
“Smart animals,” Sara shot back.  
“Scary.”  
“I’ll protect you.”  
“Don’t try to do my job.” Sofia offered some more chocolate to Sara, who simply shook her head and said, “You will die of a heart attack when a bear is crossing our path.”  
“No, I’ll shoot it.”  
Sara was shocked. “What? You don’t have?”  
“Of course I do.” Sofia lifted her right cuff of her trousers a little bit so that Sara could see the handgun.   
“You took a gun to our hiking weekend?”  
“I’m a lieutenant, I feel naked without a gun. And it’s crazy to go to a place where wild animals think they’re the kings without protection.”  
“I’m spending my time with a nutcase.”  
“This nutcase makes you feel safer,” Sofia said.  
“I never felt unsafe.”  
“Nonetheless you’ll sleep better tonight knowing I’ve got a gun. And if there are no bears around, you never know what humans are around. If a guy tries to drag you into his tent”  
“Usually they go for the blonde ones, I’m safe.”  
“The last guy who tried to drag me anywhere found himself restrained in prison.”  
“I can imagine that.” Sara stood up. “Let’s go on, a few more miles and we’re at Vogelsang Lake.”  
“First of all it’s another six miles to Tuolumne Pass, you’re not the only one who read the map.”  
“We’re halfway there.”  
“Almost.”  
“The worst is done.”  
“Hopefully.” Sofia returned the backpack to her shoulders and followed Sara. She thought of another reason why snowboarding was more fun to her; she never had to climb a mountain with her board. You race down the mountain, get to the cable lift in the valley and let yourself be carried or pulled up to the top of the mountain again. That was the real way of exercising to her. Not climbing mountains. The next time Sara wanted to spend a few days in a national park, Sofia would suggest a horseback riding trip. 

It was late afternoon when they arrived at the northeast shore campsite at Vogelsang Lake. While Sara finally could take all her photos without the weight of the backpack on her back, Sofia stripped down and jumped into the lake. The water was freezing and she started squeaking as soon as her head was out of the water.   
“This is fricking cold!”   
“And you’re surprised?” Sara took a picture of Sofia in the water.  
“Stop that I’m in my underwear.”  
“Well, nobody forced you to jump into the water in your underwear.”  
“You want to see me skinny dipping?” Sofia asked.  
“I never said that. I assumed you had a bathing suit in your backpack. Like the one we bought after you shopped for it for hours.”  
“No space for that.” Sofia dove underwater to let out another scream. It was very good that the water contained her scream.   
Sara started to unpack her backpack. She was hungry and wanted some warm food as soon as possible.  
Dripping and with chattering teeth Sofia left the water to search for a big towel.   
“That felt good.”  
“At least you’re wearing black underwear. I’m sure that group of boys don’t agree with me, but you gave them a nice show by just walking out of the water in a hint of nothing.”  
“Huh?” Sofia turned her head around. A few hundred yards away was a group of five or six boys, barely ten years old.   
“Boys that age should play with cars instead of staring at an old woman.”  
“I’m sure they appreciate the looks of Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“Why is it always a child or just boys looking at me? Can’t I attract somebody closer to my own age?” Sofia complained, rolling herself into her towel and pulling a long sleeve over her still wet underwear. With a few practiced moves she dropped her bra and her panties, put on some dry ones and left the cover of the towel to put on thick sweat pants.   
“Again, you’re blonde, the dream of every boy. And men are nothing but old boys.”  
“Wonderful. If men have to be attracted to me, why can’t it be a real man?”  
“They’re all married and don’t want to risk trouble with their wife. I don’t think you’ll find a lot of single guys hiking here. The playground for them is in Vegas.”  
“Yes, in Vegas I’d have men following me; at least until they saw my badge.”  
“I never saw you in company of a guy.”  
“First of all we usually never met socially and second, you don’t bring toys to work, do you?”  
“Toys?”   
“They were never more. I need a challenge, a positive challenge in a relationship.”  
“Monique was a positive challenge?”  
“She was challenge, positivewell, in the beginning, yes.”  
“Felix is at least legal age”  
“Felix, who calls you Investigator Incredible, is way too young. Seeing that you’re incredible to him, you can have a go.”  
“No, it’s definitely you he wants.”  
“Which gives him another example of, you can’t always have what you want. It’s a tough life but that’s the lesson you have to learn.” Sofia took two bottles of beer out of her backpack and put them into the lake. The natural way of cooling your beverage.  
“What are you cooking for us?”  
“Instant noodles, some carrots and a salami for you.”  
“You bought salami?” Sofia was surprised. Why did Sara, the vegetarian, buy meat? And carried it all the way up to here.   
“Yes I knew you would be hungry and I told you before, there’s no need for you not to eat meat just because I’m around. I won’t leave when you eat meat.”  
“I can survive a few days without meat.”  
“I know you can but there’s no reason for you to do that. Or are you trying to impress me?” Sara smirked cockily.   
Sofia bent down to her, came very close to her face and whispered, “If I wanted to impress you, I’d have worn white underwear to swim in.”   
“Now you’re flirting.”  
“No, now I’m making you feeling hot. Need a bath?”  
“That was a cheap try to get me out of my clothes.”  
“Shall I come with you into the water?”  
“Don’t you dare!”  
“Too late.” Sofia grabbed Sara’s hand and pulled her in the direction of the lake.   
“Stop it!”   
“No.”  
“If you get me in the water, you’ll come with me and then you won’t have anything dry to wear.”  
“I’ll cope.”  
“No!” Sara pushed all her weight against Sofia and stopped her only yards away from the water.   
“There’s no way you can stop me. I’ll get you in there.” Sara knew that. Sofia was stronger, if she really wanted to, she’d get Sara in the water within the next few seconds.   
“Let us at least strip off our clothes so that we’ve something warm for later.”  
“If you try to escape”  
“I won’t. Promise.” Sara sighed. She knew Sofia would catch her and then they’d both end up in the lake with their clothes on. It was better for both of them if Sara gave in and followed Sofia.   
“Okay.” Sofia pulled her long sleeved shirt up over her head and kicked away her pants. There was a reason why she had only taken black underwear.   
Sara folded her clothes on a rock and shuddered. That was cold water from the mountains. The afternoon sun would vanish in half an hour or so, it wasn’t that warm anymore.   
“Do we really have to do that?”  
“Yes.” Sofia took Sara’s hand and stepped into the water.  
“Why?” Why did they have to go into the water? It felt ice cold.  
“Because you’re not a pussy.” Quickly, Sofia dragged her arm around Sara’s waist and pulled her in the water. The scream Sara made was only stopped by the water when her head went under.   
“I hate you!”   
“No, you don’t.” Sofia splashed some water in Sara’s face.  
“I do.” The brunette jumped to the blonde to push her head under water. Sofia noticed the attack early enough and escaped. For a couple of minutes they chased each other in the water before Sofia found herself in Sara’s hands and underwater.  
“That.” She pushed Sofia’s head again under water after a few seconds for breathing.   
“Is.” Back in to water.  
“My.” One last time.  
“Revenge.” She opened her grip and let Sofia breathe as long as she wanted.   
“And now tell me you’re not feeling better than before.” The lieutenant said when they left the water.   
“I’m feeling cold now.”  
“And?”  
“And fresh and hungry.”  
“See.” Sofia took her towel that was still wet from her first jump in the lake. “We gave the lake a good christening.”  
“I guess the christening of the lake was a few years ago.” Sara took her towel and wrapped herself in it.  
“Probably, but I bet it wasn’t was good as ours. All the boys are watching with binoculars.”  
“Boys will be boys.”  
“Maybe they’ve got a cute guide.”  
“Are you trying to pick somebody up? In that case a long weekend in San Jose would have been better. Go to a bar, chose, leave, take what you want and go home.”  
“It sounds so cold when you say it that way.” Sofia laughed. She was back in her clothes and turned on the little gas heater for the noodles.   
“I won’t waste any words for an act that is nothing more than satisfying your id.”  
“Oh, Misses Freud is talking. Just to let you know, I’m not into that anymore. I enjoyed it in Vegas, but what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas. If I get somebody in my bed or if I go into somebody’s bed, it’s because I’m in a relationship.”  
“I bet that broke a lot of hearts.”  
“Yeah, some guys and chicks still try to change my mind. Thing is if you’re not careful in your private life somebody might use that against you in your professional life. The more responsibility I have the more careful I have to be.”  
“True.” Sara got some carrots out of a bag for them. “How long do the noodles need?”  
“According to this package two minutes in boiling water. We won’t cook the veggies?”  
“No, that will take too much time. What about your salami? You want to cook it? Or eat it cold?”  
“I can eat it cold, no problem.”  
“Then I’ll get my tent out.”  
“It won’t rain.” Sofia looked at the sky. A few harmless clouds were in the far skyline.   
“Don’t bet on it.” Sara had too often put up her tent in the middle of the night because the weather had changed suddenly.   
“I think positive.” Sofia put a slice of salami in her mouth. “Want a beer with dinner?”  
“If you want to share.”  
“Took them here so we can enjoy them in the sunset. You’re my guest.” Sofia got up and got the beer out of the water. Luckily it was still on the same spot she left it.   
“You know.” Sara divided the noodles and handed Sofia a mug with her share as Sara took the bottle. “This is almost a perfect dinner.”  
“Yeah, warm food, cold beer and we don’t have to tip the waiter.”  
“We should have done this in Vegas.”  
“We should have spent more time together in Vegas, seems like we do really enjoy it.”  
“You think we would have enjoyed time together in Vegas?” Sara’s voice was serious, thoughtful.   
“Probably not.”  
“I wasn’t actually easy”  
“Somebody once said it’s the privilege of a woman to be complicated. We’re not here to be understood, we’re here to be loved.”  
“Nice saying.” Sara lost herself for a little moment in the sunset. Only a little bit of the sun was still visible, the rest had vanished behind a mountain. Immediately it got cooler and she grabbed her jumper.   
“Can I ask you something? As always, no pressure to answer.”  
“Ask me, Sara.” Sofia didn’t need pressure to answer Sara, she wanted to answer her, no matter what the question was. That was the best way the two of them to get to know each other better. She had the advantage with the old CSI files, it was only fair to answer Sara’s questions.  
“Why did you leave Vegas without saying goodbye?”  
“The easiest way to answer this question is saying, I said goodbye but you weren’t in the lab when I was there. But it would be a lie. After what happened to you, after Brass got shot, after Nick got kidnapped, I thought, something must be wrong with this shift. It seemed like somebody or something was trying to kill all of the night shift. I needed time, I asked for a leave of absence and went away for a few weeks. Meanwhile somebody offered me the job in San Jose and I took it. The perfect new beginning. I left Vegas once, came back because Brass got that job for me, the second time was for good. I needed to work in day time, I needed a new city and I needed a new challenge. I never said goodbye to you guys because I never came back.”  
“Did you miss Vegas?”  
“I missed working with you guys, yes. But I knew I had to stay away or I’d be caught again in Vegas.”  
“It’s easier to forget when you’re far away.”  
“True.”  
“I hope when you want to escape San Jose for whatever reason, you’ll come down to Fresno.”  
“And why would I do that? Why would I move to a little town in the middle of nowhere instead of an exciting place? New York for example.”  
“You don’t strike me as a New York woman. You’re more sunshine, ocean, I don’t know, West Coast.”  
“Really?”   
“I won’t tell you to come to Fresno because of me, it’s your part to have a big ego. Don’t wait for something like that.”  
“You said that, you only used different words. I got the hint in your lovely voice, Sara.”  
“Taking about lovely voices…I have to say there’s this little accent in your voice I can’t”  
“Don’t go there.” Sofia stopped her grinning.   
“Okay.” Sara smiled. She would accept a stop if it was in a friendly tone.   
“It’s something I got from my grandmother. She was from England. My mom worked really hard to lose her accent, I always liked my grandmother’s accent but my mom made me speak the proper American way. That’s why there’s only a hint every now and then.”  
“I like it.” Sara smiled.   
“I can try to talk to you in British English.”  
“Nah, I’d laugh at you when you’d threaten to kick my arse.”  
“Don’t try to imitate the Queen’s English.”  
“Sorry. Pom.”  
“You are trying to be handcuffed again, aren’t you?”  
“You don’t really have them with you, do you?”  
“I’ve got my gun.”  
“Yeah I can understand that - more or less. But handcuffs?”  
“No, you’re safe. But I’m sure our little friends would like to play with them.”  
“Probably. Same for your gun.”  
“There’s no way they’ll come close to it. We might need it if we get lost in the wilderness and I have to shoot us dinner. I’m afraid we won’t find enough berries to keep us alive.”  
“We won’t get lost and we’ll survive up to a month without food.”  
“A month without chocolate? No way. I’d kill myself.” Sofia grabbed her bag and got a big bar of chocolate out. “Peanuts in chocolate, can you imagine a better dessert?”  
“A bowl of fruit?”  
“Too healthy.” Sofia broke off a big piece of chocolate and gave it to Sara.   
“Tell me how you stay that thin with eating all this junk food and candy stuff?”  
“I’m a daily user of the department’s gym. An hour or two workout, fruits for breakfast, salad for lunch, steak and salad for dinner, followed by candy on the sofa.”  
“Amazing.”  
“All for the sake of chocolate. And I have to stay fit, I’m not captain yet. Not to mention I like it when people stare at me, when they want my body and I can kick them away ‘cause they’re not my type. Just because I’m blonde and sexy it doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”  
“Who said you’re sexy?”  
“You did in San Jose.”  
“Must be a misunderstanding.”  
“Sure.” Sofia smirked. “You don’t deny I’m smart?”  
“No, that would be an obvious lie.”  
“Okay, it’s more important to me that you think I’m smart than sexy.”  
“How’s that?”  
“Well, I know you prefer to be surrounded by smart people and you don’t really care how they look. You don’t judge somebody by their looks, you judge them on their behavior and their intelligence. Being a geek, intelligence is important for you.”  
“Do you really think I’m a geek?”  
“Yes.”  
“I’m a scientist. You were one when you were with the CSI. You were a supervisor there, you were an über-geek.”  
“Was I?”  
“Yes, you were like Grissom.”  
“I was like Grissom? I take that as a compliment.”  
“It is one. But in one thing you really sucked.”  
“What’s that?”  
“The weather. Look at those clouds, we’ll be in a late summer rain in the next couple of minutes.” Sara jumped on her feet and got her tent out of the backpack.   
“Fwhy?” Sofia stared at the clouds. They came closer and were obviously filled with rain. They hung dark and heavy over the next mountain.   
“I told you.” Sara was happy that she was an experienced tent builder, she needed normally less than three minutes to have her tent ready.   
Sofia packed their stuff up and looked for some shelter.   
“What kind of campground is this? Are we supposed to stay in the toilet while it’s raining?”  
“People are supposed to take a tent with them.” Sara was sure she managed to get her tent up in a new personal best time.   
“Not if they have so many other things to carry.”  
“Like guns, chocolate, beer.”  
“Yes.”  
“Get the shovel.”  
“Why?” Should she dig a tunnel or a cave? Sofia knew she was good and fast but not that fast. That wasn’t a challenge, that was a mission impossible.   
“You can earn your shelter in the tent by making a little trench around the tent. If it rains a lot we need some protection otherwise the tent floor might get wet.”  
“I get some shelter in your baby tent?”   
“Can’t let you die in the rain. Be nice to my tent.” It was the biggest version of a one person tent, Sara hated her last one, that was barely enough for her and her stuff. Once she was inside she couldn’t move anymore and half of her stuff had to lie on her all night. Now there was enough space for a backpack and she could still turn in her sleep without crashing in the soft tent wall.   
Sofia dug around the tent, trying to make her way down to the lake so the water had a way to flow down.   
“I feel the first drops, you’re far enough, come in.” Sara yelled. She took off her shoes and climbed in the tent. Their insulation blankets were on the ground, the backpacks on top, there hadn’t been more time for preparation.   
“Why do you always have to be right?”  
“I’m Miss Right, first name Always.” Sara chuckled.   
“Seems like.” Sofia closed the tent flap. The raindrops became heavier and they were both happy to be inside.   
“Well, it will be very”  
“Cozy?” Sofia offered.  
“Narrow. Can you take all the hard things out of your backpack?”  
“Why?”  
“We’ll use it as a pillow - same with mine. This way we save some space.”  
“I leave the hard things down here?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, the bear container can go outside, nothing will get wet in there and if I cover it with there should be a rain cover at the bottom of my backpack, it’s not that obvious to all the bears around what it is.”  
“That might work out.”  
“We’ll have a lot of spacekind of.” Sofia filled their bear container up with food and drinks, covered them in her rain cape and set it outside.  
“If Yogi comes along and tries to steal my chocolate I’ll shoot him.”  
“The scary thing is I believe you would.” Sara grinned and got her sleeping bag out.   
“No one steals my chocolate.” Sofia opened her sleeping bag. “So we’ll be stuck in the tent for the rest of the night?”  
“You’re free to sleep outside but once you’re out and soaking wet I won’t let you in again.”  
“I prefer the tent, it’s cozy.” She lay down. “And we walked a lot, we deserve a long rest to continue the walk tomorrow.”  
“Eleven miles.”  
“Around the lake, I hope we don’t have to climb too much.”  
“We’ll be alright.”  
“If it starts to snow”  
“Don’t be silly!”  
“I’m cautious.”  
“There won’t be any snow.”  
“Hopefully not.”  
“If there is, you’ll be frozen to death.”  
“I won’t, I’ll keep close to you and steal your warmth.”  
“You stay in your sleeping bag.”  
“Scared?”  
“No, I’m giving you friendly advice.”  
“I’ll take it.”   
“Good. Now shut up, turn off the flashlight and move closer to me, it’s getting cold.”  
“As you wish.” Sofia grinned.  
“Don’t smile that smug.”  
“I’m not.” Now she did.   
“Liar.”  
“Get some rest, honey. I’ll take care of you.”  
“Don’t shoot a boy.”  
“I’ll try not to.”   
“Good night, Sofia.”  
“Good night, Sara. And you know what?”  
“What?”  
“What you said about staying in San Jose when I want to get laidmaybe I want to get laid by you and now I’ve got what I want.”  
“We share a tent because it’s raining. You’d have every reason to hate me if I make you stay outside.”  
“Maybe I planned it this way.”  
“Sure, you planned the weather.”  
“You don’t think I can do things like this?”  
“Good night, Sofia.” Sara shook her head, smiled, and closed her eyes. Years ago she’d have kicked Sofia out of the tent for these words, now she just smiled and relaxed. She knew she could trust the lieutenant. 

The second day was easier, it took a little bit over seven hours for the eleven miles with a lot of little breaks along the way.   
Of course there hadn’t been any snow in the night and the rain was also gone when they woke up. Sara woke up and found herself under Sofia’s arm, the blonde quietly sleeping. Carefully she left the arm and the tent to brew some coffee.   
“You coming for a swim willingly today?” Sofia asked after she had dropped two bottles of beer in the lake where they were camping today. Sara had put up the tent to give it some sunshine. She wasn’t sure how dry it was that morning when she had to roll it up. With the last sunshine of the day it should be completely dry for the night.   
“I will, yes.” She left her clothes next to the tent and walked to the lake, where Sofia was waiting knee-deep in water.   
“Is that water getting colder every day?”  
“No, that’s your imagination. We’re not that high anymore, the water should be warmer,” Sofia said and stepped deeper in the water.  
“Feels cold.” Sara wasn’t sure if another bath was a good idea but before she could change her mind, Sofia started to kick water on her. She left Sara no other choice than fighting back. When the big water fight ended both women were soaking wet. This time it was Sara’s head that got pushed under water, Sofia’s revenge for the day before.   
“Maybe I shouldn’t go into a lake with you anymore,” Sara said after she had enough air again to speak.   
“I’d make you go swimming.”  
“If I get your gun”  
“I won’t let you get my gun.”  
“You were in the water, the gun was in the tent, it was a few feet away from me, there was no chance you’d got it before I had it.”  
“Won’t happen again.”  
“There won’t be a lake tomorrow. We’ll be in a nice cabin, a hot shower somewhere and a real bed.”  
“You slept good the last night.”  
“How do you know?”  
“Every time when I woke up, you were sleeping and you seemed to be very comfortable.”  
“You wrapped your arm around me.”  
“It was cold, you were warm, my body looks automatically for some warmth when it’s getting cold.”  
“Automatically? You’re saying that happens while you’re deep asleep and you can’t do anything to stop it.”  
“Yes.”  
“I don’t believe you.”  
“You don’t have any evidence that will prove beyond reasonable doubt I’m lying. In dubio pro reo.”  
“Don’t start the law thing again. We’ve got a long weekend off, think about something else.” Sara poured water over the instant rice. Their dinner for the night, together with some more carrots and salami for Sofia.  
“Snowboarding.”  
“What?”  
“We can talk about snowboarding. Have you ever tried that?”  
“No.”  
“You’re a surfer but not a boarder?”  
“I do the real boarding.”  
“Snowboarding.”  
“Surfing.”  
“Well, the next long weekend we have we should go to a place to snowboard.”  
“What makes you think I’ll spend another long weekend with you?”  
“I’m a lieutenant, I know people.”  
“Ever thought why you’re only a lieutenant and not a captain?”  
“Yes, because I don’t kiss arses.”  
Sara started laughing until there were tears on her face.   
“What?” Sofia looked confused at her.   
“Your grandmother was speaking to me.”  
“What?”  
“You said.” Sara had to stop because she was still laughing. “You said you don’t kiss ARSES. Granny Curtis was talking to me.”  
“I did?” Now Sofia had to laugh as well. “It’s all your fault. Mentioning my little accent I dreamed of my grandmother last night, thought a lot of her and, well, that must have come from deep down”  
“Yes, very deep. But cute.”  
“Bitch.”  
“I know I worked hard for that title.”  
“I bet you enjoyed it. So, do we have a date for snowboarding?”  
“A date? I don’t think we’ll ever be on a date for snowboarding. But if you want to teach me how to snowboard I’ll take the offer.”  
“Good. I guess we might have some good snow in Tahoe in November. Knowing the two of us, we’ll have plenty of overtime by that time. How many hours per week do you make?”  
“I try to be under five, you know, my new private life.”  
“Oh yes, I forgot. It’s still weird to think you’re not married to the lab anymore.”  
“I think it becomes me.”  
“It does, definitely. Do you have clothes for snowboarding?”  
“I’ve got some thick clothes”  
“No need to buy them, we’re the same height, should be around the same size, you can have something of mine. For the unlikely event of not loving boarding it might be better to wait after that weekend before we get you a flashy outfit.”  
“It has to keep me warm, I don’t care about the rest.”  
“That my old Sara.”  
“What do you mean? Old Sara?”  
“Practical. Who cares what’s hot this season, it has to keep me warm and that’s it.”  
“Are you suggesting I’m wearing ugly, old fashioned clothes?”  
“No, but you don’t need to have the newest, priciest stuff to feel good.”  
“No, I don’t.”  
“I like that.”  
“Yeah, that’s why you walk around the whole time in suits.”   
“They suit me.” Sofia grinned.  
“Yes, they do.”  
“Can’t be a cop in jeans.” Sofia stood up and got them the beer and the bag with chocolate.   
“You were a CSI in a red dress. And you got out of your dress in front of the guys.”  
“Maybe your source should have mentioned to you, I was wearing a blue jump suit before I took of my red dress. Nobody saw anything and I did wear underwear.”  
“I was assuming you’re not wearing an evening dress without underwear.”  
“Sometimes I do. Underwear is visible if you wear something very tight and slightly transparent.”  
“You love playing with your sex appeal, don’t you?”  
“It can be helpful sometimes to be a stunning blonde.”  
“And your ego is again bigger than Mount Whitney. Smug bitch.”  
“I’m proud of it.” Sofia grinned and paused for a few seconds. “You ever thought about climbing Mount Whitney?”  
“I have, yes. You have to apply for it. Why?”  
“We could do that next year. It’s what? A two day trip?”  
“Yes, two days. You can make it in one day but it’s recommended for two days.”  
“Oh well, we can make three out of it, have some nice breaks, you can take millions of pictures and I can have a beer for lunch and dinner.”  
“You should use the space for something more sensible.”  
“Why? You’ve got the tent, it’s perfect for the two of us. We’ll never feel cold.”  
“Uh hum.” Sara smirked. Did Sofia just invite herself into Sara’s tent again? Maybe they should have a conversation about that one day. It was a one person tent, not two.   
“You don’t like the idea of being warm?”  
“Maybe I’ll replace you by that time with somebody else and you need to sleep alone in your own tent while I’ve somebody to warm me.”   
That was Sofia’s chance to ask Sara what happened to Grissom, if there was somebody else in her life or if she was looking/interested in somebody else. She could ask all these questions with a wide smile to make it obvious she wasn’t expecting an answer but somehow she knew, it wouldn’t be a good topic.   
“This is a chick trip, we don’t take guys with us.”  
“Don’t we?”  
“No, if we do, give me five minutes in a club and I’ll find a guy for my tent. That is no problem I get them very fast if I want it that way.” Sofia grinned.   
“I don’t doubt that I saw you on the beach. You’ll get your toyboy.”  
“As I said it’s a chick trip, we don’t need men. I’ll keep you warm if it’s cold. Or I’ll get you a thick sleeping bag.”  
“You know they’re heavy and need a lot of space?”  
“We can take a donkey with us, to carry all our stuff. This way the trip is much nicer for us, we have more time and energy to enjoy the trip.”  
“I don’t think you’re allowed to take a donkey with you.”  
“Bugger. Well in that case you’ve to carry the tent and I’ve to carry the beer and chocolate. We’ll get all we need up to the top.”  
Sara smiled. She wasn’t sure if chocolate and beer were a part of all the things she needed but she knew they were parts of the things Sofia needed. So yes, they would carry all these things on top of Mount Whitney. 

November

“I hate snow.“ Sara kicked her boots away and dropped herself on the sofa. There was no way she would touch those things again today. All the pain. And all the pain that would come to her later.   
“You weren’t that bad.” Sofia closed the door behind them and tried not to grin. They were meeting for a long weekend at Lake Tahoe. Sofia wanted to return the favor. Sara had tried in summer to teach her to surf; now it was Sofia’s time to teach Sara how to move on another board: a snowboard. Sofia had been a snowboarder since her early childhood. Sara, always a child of the ocean and sand, had no experience in snow sports.  
It was the first week in November, snow had hit Tahoe a week ago and they took advantage out of that. After the busy days over Halloween Sara drove to San Jose, got Sofia in her car and both were on their way to a winter wonderland.   
“Not that bad means I was bad.”  
“No, that bad means you were good. It was your first time on a snowboard, what did you expect? Remember me on the surfboard? I was a disaster.”  
“You weren’t too bad,” Sara responded with a crooked smile.  
“Not too bad means I was bad.” Sofia took Sara’s boots and put them neatly next to the door. “You’ve got over twelve hours to relax, shall I make you a hot chocolate?”  
“Yes. Please.” Sofia got herself up and walked to the little kitchenette. They went shopping before they arrived here, only a few things, but enough to survive the weekend. Instead of living in a motel or hotel, they rented a little cabin, away from the shops and the life in the village.   
“Instant rice? Instant noodles? Instant potatoes? What would you prefer as our first dinner?”  
“A huge steak, fries and a salad.”  
“I’m afraid that has to wait until next week. I can heat the frozen veggies, the rice, and make a curry sauce with that.”  
“Better than a five star restaurant. What about ice cream?”  
“Sure. You will get your ice cream with Irish Cream.”  
“And a cookie?”  
“And a cookie and a banana.”  
“As I said, better than a five star restaurant.” Sofia took the milk container, poured some milk in a pot and started to heat it up. There was no way she would make them a hot chocolate with water. They were active the whole day, they deserved real milk.   
“The rice needs twenty minutes, the veggies ten minutes.”  
“Twenty minutes? Didn’t you say instant?”  
“I found some real rice, we can save the instant rice for lunch, when we have no time. Can you handle a few more minutes without food?”  
“Sure, I’ll watch the news.”  
“And I’ll take a bath. If I want this body in a acceptable condition tomorrow, I’ll treat it to a hot bath.”  
“Stay with the non-swimmers, I don’t have my bright red swimsuit with me.”  
“Okay, Pam.” Sara grinned and left the room.   
Sofia threw her evil eyes at Sara’s back, but she didn’t feel them or care about that.   
“Pam.” Sofia turned on the TV and looked for the news. Though she was on holiday, she wanted to know what was happening in the world. The news started with a report about the visit of the British Queen. Not the kind of news she was interested in. Sofia moved her attention back to the hot chocolate, found the beverage lightly cooking. She poured it in a big mug and walked to the bathroom.   
“Ariel, I’ve got hot chocolate. You want to have yours now or later?”  
“You can serve it now, James.”  
Sofia opened the door and saw only Sara’s head above the bathwater. The rest of her body was somewhere under a mountain of foam. Even if Sofia wanted to catch a glimpse of Sara’s body there was no chance, all she could see was her head.   
“Wow, you look like you’re having a foam party.”  
“I am. I’d invite you but without your red swimsuit you’re quite useless.”  
“That’s alright, I’ll be your butler and take care of our dinner, just in case you get lost in all this foam.” Sofia set the mug next to Sara. “The Queen is in our country.”  
“Since the nineteenth of October 1781 we’re free from the Queen. If she’s here or not doesn’t affect our country anymore.”  
“Nineteenth of October 1781? What about the fourth of July 1776?”  
“That’s when Jefferson declared our independence, but five years later we finally won, with the help of France, in Yorktown, the war for our independence. Between the declaration and the real freedom were five years.”  
That was something Sofia was suppose to know. Her father had taken to all these war places, told her so many stories about the wars and she didn’t pay attention. That was more than obvious after Sara’s little explanation. She shouldn’t let him know.   
“It’s always a highlight of my day to learn something from you, little geek. And now drink your hot chocolate before it’s cold.”  
“Yes Ma’am.” Sara smiled and grabbed the mug. Her arm was deep red and Sofia wasn’t sure for a moment if Sara would boil herself in the bathtub.   
“You know.” Sofia nodded to Sara’s red arm. “When you put a frog in boiling water, it jumps out”  
“But if you set it in warm water and boil it then, the frog will stay in the water,” Sara finished the sentence. “You know that’s a lie too. The water”  
“Sara, one lecture per day, you can tell me about the frogs tomorrow.” Sofia laughed and left the bathroom before Sara had the chance to finish her sentence.   
With her own hot chocolate she went back to the sofa and the news. The Queen was gone and the attention was now in the Far East. Some problems with China. Sofia wondered if there ever had been a day that the news started with something positive from their own country. Why do people always want to see what bad things happened in the world? Why was nobody interested in something good? It seemed like only when it came to sports, was good news appreciated.   
She lost herself in the news, with an eye on the oven every now and then, and enjoying the heat that crawled slowly through her body thanks to the hot chocolate. That was one of the reasons why she loved winter time. She could enjoy a hot chocolate in the early evening and watch the snow falling down. Maybe she should go to a winter city one day. San Jose wasn’t exactly the best place to see snow.   
Sara came out twenty minutes later dressed in a green flannel pajamas.   
“Green? What a lovely Christmas color.”  
“Bite me.”  
“I prefer my dinner. Sorry, maybe next time.”  
Sara puffed and went to the oven. She lifted the lit of the pot and said dryly: “Sofia, you know, if you turn a hot plate on, it actually can cook something.”  
“What?”  
“Our veggies are still cold, you never turned on the hot plate. The rice is fine.”  
“I forgotyou didn’t?”  
“No.”  
“Oh shame.”  
“Ten more minutes, maybe eight.”  
“In that case I’ll have a shower. That won’t take longer than five minutes.”  
“Stay safe, Pam.”  
“Keep your eyes on the food, Jamie.”  
“Jamie?”  
“Jamie Oliverhe cooked naked sometimes, but you can stay in your Christmas pj’s.”  
“Get lost.” Now it was Sara’s time to give her the evil eye. Sofia was as unimpressed as Sara was before and went giggling in the bathroom.   
It took Sofia only a little more than five minutes and by the time she was back in the lounge, wearing a black sweat suit, Sara had put the food on two plates, arranged an open bottle of wine on the table in front of the sofa, wine glasses, and was just about the carry the food over.   
“Perfect timing”  
“That’s one of my strengths.”  
“I leave that without a comment in the room.” Sara smirked and sat down. Sofia made the decision to do the same and joined Sara.   
“Thanks for cooking.”  
“Thanks for re-cooking.” Sofia poured the wine and gave one glass to Sara. “To us, the new heroines of the mountain.”  
“To all our bones, still not broken and hopefully never will be.”  
“You won’t break a bone, stupid. I’ll take care of you. A good lieutenant takes care of their CSI.”  
“I hope so.” They had a sip of wine and then started their food without a word. It was a pleasant silence, neither felt the pressure to say something. They enjoyed the food, lost in their own thoughts and happy to be here. Sofia had to admit, it never felt bad or uncomfortable when she and Sara were just sitting together, eating and not saying anything. It seemed like they didn’t need to talk all the time. Usually these silent moments ended in some story of their personal life.  
Sofia still didn’t dare to ask Sara anything specific about her past. She considered the investigator as a friend, a close friend, but she didn’t want to risk that by asking questions Sara wasn’t ready to answer or to talk about. Whenever she felt like telling Sofia something about her childhood or later private life, she would do it.   
Same was for Sofia. She had only told Sara pieces of her life, every now and then a little bit, and Sara never asked. Both women knew, the other would listen, if one of them wanted to tell something the other was fine with just sitting somewhere in silence or talking about other things. They didn’t have useless small talk, they talked about a lot of things, last week they lost themselves in a conversation about Socrates on the phone when they were supposed to plan their holiday trip.   
“What do you think of leaving the dishes for tomorrow and a long evening with old movies?” Sofia asked suddenly.   
“Leaving dishes sounds good. What kind of movies?”  
“I bought a collection of Hitchcock movies. The masterpieces, including Psycho, The Birds, Vertigo, The Man Who Knew Too Much, Marnie, Rope, Saboteur, Torn Curtain and so on. Some old, really great crime movies.”  
“We’re on holiday.”  
“You didn’t strike me as a fan of Disney.”  
“As a matter of fact, I do love Disney. But I adore Hitchcock. You get the movie ready, I’ll bring the ice cream.”  
“Don’t forget the cookie, the Irish Cream and the banana.”  
“I wouldn’t dare to.” Sara laughed. She was looking forward to this dessert herself and it took her only two minutes to create a big bowl for each of them.   
Covered under a wool blanket they started the first movie, The Man Who Knew Too Much. That was one of Sara’s all time favorite movies and one of the few movies that actually made her want to sing. When Doris Day started her “Que sera sera” Sara couldn’t stop herself and sang the song quietly with the actress. No wonder Misses Day got an Oscar for this song, it was an evergreen.   
“So you like Doris Day.” It was more a statement Sofia made at the end of the movie than a question.  
“I like that song, yes.”  
“It’s a great song, she was a good actress. Birds? Frenzy? Psycho?”  
“You sure you can take a shower tomorrow if we watch Psycho now?”  
“If not you’ll have to join me and protect me or I’ll go for a foam bath like you did today. Besides, I’m a lieutenant, a movie can’t scare me, I know reality.”  
“You know, things like this happen in reality, you see it daily, that’s the scary thing about it.”  
“So do you.”  
“Yeah, but I’m the one who feels sorry for the monster in the horror movies.”  
“You are a very special person, Sara Sidle.”  
“Thank you, Lieutenant Curtis. Your power of observation is fascinating.”  
“Just like the rest of me.” Sofia got up and changed the movie, waiting for a comment from Sara. When nothing came, she turned around and grinned. “No comment on that?”  
“I remembered Bambi; the suggestion Thumper’s dad made: “When you’ve got nothing nice to say, just shut up.”  
“I wish more people would remember that.” Sofia sat down and pressed the start button. “In your case that means, you’ll be quiet for a long time, I guess,” she added.  
“See Sofia, that would have been your personal Bambi moment.”  
“I’m sorry, I’ll try to remember the next time.” Sofia smirked and took a sip of wine. 

It was after the famous shower scene that Sara’s head slowly dropped on Sofia’s shoulder. Barely moving her head, Sofia took a look at her. Sara was sleeping, looking for some comfort on Sofia’s shoulder for her head. Sofia moved her arm around Sara’s left shoulder to make it more comfortable for her. It looked like snowboarding made so Sara tired not even a classic horror movie could keep her awake.   
Sofia had switched from Hitchcock movie back to TV when she felt Sara was about to wake up. For a second it seemed like Sara realized she was in Sofia’s embrace and she wanted to shake the arm away and push herself away from the lieutenant, but then she changed her mind and relaxed again, moving her head a little bit. Sofia had been willing to let Sara go as soon as she wanted, but when she saw Sara changed her mind and didn’t want to move away, Sofia smiled.   
“Don’t smile at me like that.” Sara’s eyes were closed.  
“I’m not smiling.”  
“Liar. You are.”   
Okay, maybe she was.   
“It’s just a little smile.”  
“It’s a smug smile, I know it. You feel smug because I stayed in your arms.”  
“In my arm, it’s only one. And I’m not smiling because I’m smug, I’m smiling because you stayed. That means you trust me at least a little bit.”  
“Of course I trust an lieutenant, they take care of the CSIs.”  
“Right now you don’t trust the lieutenant, right now you trust me as a person.” Sofia teased her softly. When Sara thought she could play with Sofia, she had to bear the consequences. Fact was, Sara didn’t see her as a lieutenant right now.   
“As I said, smug.”  
“I’m not smug, I’m right.”  
“You are. If I didn’t trust you as a person, I wouldn’t be here. I don’t go on holiday with people I don’t trust.”  
“If that’s your way to tell me I’m special, then thank you. I knew that all the time.”  
“Smug.”  
“Realistic.”  
“Sure. Try to relax, lieutenant.”   
“Re” Sofia stopped before she could finish the question. Her first impulse was to ask how Sara got the idea she wasn’t relaxed. She just started the word when she realized, she wasn’t relaxed. Far from it. Her pulse was way too fast and her heartbeat felt like she was running a marathon ever since Sara had started to talk to her. With every word, Sara’s breath gently hit Sofia’s neck and made her heartbeat run. With every word Sofia had to try harder to relax, to get her vital signs down to normal. Of course, being so close to Sofia, Sara had felt that.   
She looked down at the investigator who was already sleeping again and could swear, it was Sara who had a smug smile on her lips. 

When Sara woke up she found herself in bed. The digital clock on the bed stand showed eight o’clock. Time to get up and have breakfast. A look to the other bed showed her Sofia was already awake and not in the room. Still in her pajamas, Sara walked into the lounge, where she found Sofia with a cup of coffee.   
Without a word Sofia poured a cup for Sara, handed it smiling over to her and went on reading the yesterday’s newspaper. Thankful for the extra minute of silence, which gave her the chance to wake up completely, Sara sipped the coffee. Hot and black. Perfect.   
“Good morning.” Yes, after a little bit of coffee she could talk. How good that Sofia knew that.  
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”  
“How did I end up in bed?” All Sara could remember, she fell asleep on the sofa, she couldn’t remember waking up and going to bed.   
“You can’t remember? We had hot sex and after that you were so exhausted, you fell asleep on the sofa and I carried you to your bed.” Sofia said sincerely.  
“No way.” Sara eyed her suspiciously.   
“Yeah, I was quite disappointed about that too. You just rolled over and slept.”  
“I believe you, that I fell asleep on the sofa, I even believe you carried me to my bed but I absolutely refuse to believe the first part of your story.”  
“Maybe I made that up. Telling you that you snored on the sofa so I carried you to bed doesn’t sound so exciting.”  
“I don’t snore.”  
“Says who?”  
“Say I.”  
“And how often do you listen to yourself sleep?”  
“I don’t snore.” Sara turned around and got some bread out of the fridge.   
“Want some toast?”  
“Yes please, we need energy for a new day on the snowboard.”  
“My body isn’t that happy about our plan, I might have to”  
“There’s no way you can escape the snow, Sara.”  
“If we go only for a few hours and then after a late lunch have a walk in the snow?”  
“You’ll never learn how to jump like a champion if you skip practice.”  
“I’m fine just to survive.”  
“You will, promise.”  
“Okay.” Sara had another sip. “Sofia?”  
“Yes?”  
“Next time, just leave me on the sofa or wake me up. There’s no need for you to carry me to bed.”  
“The sofa isn’t the best place for a good night sleep and I don’t mind carrying you. You’re not heavy, I’m in good shape, I can manage to carry you a few yards.”  
“I know you’re superwoman but do your intervertebral disks know that too?”  
“They do, I trained them well.”  
“You’re smug again.”  
“I’m right.”  
“Arrogant.”  
“Still right.”  
“I won’t go further in this discussion.” Sara made a grimace and put two slices of toast on a plate for Sofia.   
The lieutenant was smiling, knowing she won this round. 

Sofia allowed Sara to finish her snowboard practice two hours earlier than the day before. They brought their stuff back to the cabin, changed into snowshoes and had a walk in the white forest. It was clear to both of them that their walk would end sooner or later in a snowball fight and both were surprised when they managed not to throw snowballs at each other for the first half hour.   
“I’ve got half a kilo of snow in my jumper.” Sara complained.  
“If all that is still snow you’re cooler than I thought. It should be all water now.”  
“Smart ass.”  
“You think about my ass?”  
“How I can kick it, yes.”  
“That’s all? Pity.”  
“You think I’d say anything that would bring that smug smile back in your face?”   
“You will, sooner or later. Go and have a shower, I’ll start with our dinner.”  
“She’s getting bossy.” Sara mumbled.   
Sofia bit back the comment that she had always been a higher rank than Sara. She ignored the water down her back and started to heat up the instant noodles and prepared some salad.  
“Smells good.” Sara came back in her green pajamas and wet hair.   
“Almost done. We could have an egg with the salad, if you want.”  
“Yes.” Sara walked to the fridge. “Sofia?”  
“Uh hum?” Sofia stopped in front of the bathroom door.   
“Why didn’t you get any steaks for yourself? You don’t have to eat vegetarian food all the time just because I’m with you.”  
“I know, but I enjoy a few days without meat. Will make my first steak next week something special.”  
“I hope you won’t lose your strength without your protein boost.”  
“Snowboarding with you is a boost better than any protein boost.” Sofia smirked and closed the door behind herself.  
Sara laughed quietly. Getting her back on her feet and carrying her to bed was probably a good workout for Sofia. She carried her in her bed. Crazy woman. But she had to admit, she liked that. She liked spending time with Sofia, she liked walking in the snow, watching movies, falling asleep and even snowboarding with her.  
Why didn’t they get along that well years ago, when both were working in Las Vegas? This question popped up in her mind quite often. Why? Because at that time there was only work in Sara’s life? And when that changed, it was Grissom she spent time with. There was never a thought or the idea of spending time with Sofia. They saw each other at work, they shared cases, occasionally a breakfast, but that was it. Nothing more. No private talk, no activity after work.   
She was really happy that a coincidence had brought them at the same time to the same motel in July. They worked in different cities, they had different lives, different colleagues, but they spent quality time together. Hell, if she remembered right, they saw each other every two weeks, when one or both of them had a day off. She had sleep over at Sofia’s place and a few of her things in the other woman’s apartment. Crazy. For her, it was a crazy miracle she enjoyed a lot.   
“Are you sleeping now while you’re cooking?” Sara shrugged. She hadn’t heard the blonde woman leaving the bathroom.   
“Just thinking.”  
“Of course.”  
“Your dinner didn’t burn.”  
“I know.” Sofia walked to the fridge. “What would you like to drink?”  
“Honestly? A cup of tea.”  
“What kind?”  
“It feels like ChristmasI don’t suppose we have something like apple and cinnamon?”  
“No.” Sofia managed not to laugh. “Peppermint?”  
“Alright.”  
“I could make a new hot chocolate.”  
“Maybe later. As a dessert.”  
“With marshmallows.”  
“Of course you would add some sugar.”  
“I’m a sugar junkie.”  
“I got that.” Sara slipped an egg on each plate, added the noodles and the salad and carried the plates to the little table at the sofa. It never crossed her mind that they could use the big table for their dinner. Why should they sit on chairs if they had a sofa?  
“More Hitchcock or something else?”  
“More Hitchcock. I’ll try not to fall asleep again.”  
“It’s my turn today.”  
“I’ll wake you up, there’s no way that I can carry you to your bed.”  
“As long as you wake me up gently.”  
“Some snow?” Sara offered with an evil smile.   
“That would be the death of both of us.”  
“I love a certain amount of risk in my life.”  
“Don’t risk too much.”  
“Never.” Sara smiled.   
“You like these word fights, don’t you?”  
“As long as I win, yes.”  
“You’ll lose.”  
“Try me.”  
“I already do.”  
“Try harder.”  
“I could make you shut up within a second.”  
“You could, yes. But not by playing fair.”  
“Who said I’d play fair?”  
“You wouldn’t do anything else with me.”   
Sofia sighed. “You won.” She had nothing to say against that. Of course she would never say anything that would hurt Sara and that would be the only way to make her shut up. Sometimes winning wasn’t that important, it was more like a win would end up as a real loss at the end. She preferred to lose a little part of the game but being the winner at the end of the game.   
“I talked to Greg this week.”  
“Really?” Sofia was surprised. She thought Sara didn’t have any contacts in Vegas anymore.   
“Yeah. I thought, I should send him an email, after I ignored the last ones he sent me. They are all fine, two new guys are in the lab and Catherine is on a constant war with Ecklie. It seems like he isn’t that happy of her way being a supervisor. Maybe he has simply a problem with all supervisors.”  
“At least if they’re not in his ass.”  
“Nobody wants to be there.”  
“True.” Sofia took their empty plate and brought it to the sink, ran some water over it and started on her hot chocolate. This way she gave Sara some space to think about if she wanted to continuing talking about Vegas or if she preferred to change the topic. Sara took the chance and changed the topic.   
“Rope?”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Shall we watch Rope?”  
“Yes. I forgot what that movie was about that’s alright.”  
“Can’t help you there.” Sara started the TV and DVD player, dug some potato chips out of a bag and covered herself under the woolen blanket.   
“You’re feeling cold?”  
“No, but it’s nice and cozy under a blanket.” Sara lifted the blanket so that Sofia could slip under it as well.   
“Thanks.” She gave Sara the hot chocolate.  
“Thanks to you.”  
They turned their heads toward the TV.

A movie later Sara’s head was back on Sofia’s shoulder, this time she was awake, just looking for a comfortable position. They both knew ‘The Birds’, they both had seen the movie a few times.   
“Did you ever get attacked by birds?” Sofia asked, putting her arm around Sara’s shoulder. This time, there was no sign of Sara being uncomfortable for a second. She accepted Sofia’s arm, relaxed.   
“Yes, I did. In spring time when I was at university. They must have had a nest somewhere, and were trying to protect their babies. I didn’t know I was an intruder, but when I couldn’t find anybody who threw something on my head, I discovered the bird, sitting on a bench and looking very furious, down at me. Seconds later the bird flew down, I had to duck to protect my head.”  
“What kind of bird?”  
“I can’t remember, it was quite big. I found out later, I was bleeding from the first attack.”  
“So this movie is something special to you, it’s like your life story.”  
“Oh no.” Sara laughed. “I survived with a little wound and it was only one bird. By the way, where were you? You didn’t take care of your CSI that time.”  
“You weren’t a CSI at that time and I wasn’t with the police force either. I promise, if there’s a bird tomorrow attacking you, I’ll protect you.”  
“I don’t think any bird wants to be out in this weather.”  
“You never know.”  
“And I don’t have to worry because I’ve got you.”  
“Exactly.”  
Sara paused, her eyes on the screen. More and more seagulls were appearing onscreen.  
“Do you know why I left Grissom?”  
Sofia forgot to breathe for a moment. Did Sara really ask that or was it only in her mind? They never talked about Sara and Grissom, they never ever came only close to this topic. Sofia would have never dared to asked anything that might have brought them to this topic. And now Sara offered to talk about the most juicy and secret relationship in the LVPD in years. Sofia’s ears must have played a practical joke on herself.   
“I beg your pardon?”  
“Do you know why I left Grissom?” Sara repeated calmly.   
“No. All the time we worked together you and he were officially only supervisor and investigator. When it came out the two of you had a relationship, the thing in the desert happened, or because of that, your relationship went public and I was gone before you came back to work. So no, I have no idea why you left Grissom, didn’t even know it was you who ended the relationship.”  
“I left him.”  
“You want to tell me why?” It seemed like Sara was about to do that but Sofia wanted to make sure, it was really something Sara wanted to do. “You don’t have to.” She quickly added. No pressure.   
“I know you never try to get anything of me I don’t want to tell you. I really appreciate that, Sofia. And I know, you don’t ask not because you’re not interested, you don’t ask because you want to give me time, you want me to tell you whatever is on my mind, when I’m ready and not when you think you want to know it. I’m very thankful for that.”  
“Hey, I told you; the best thing about private life is that it’s private. If somebody makes the decision to share something private, it should be because she or he wants it that way, not because somebody forces them.”  
“Not exactly the attitude you show when you’re on duty.”  
“You’re not a suspect.”  
“Sometimes people treat other people like suspects.”  
“If I ever start to do that to you, please tell me, please stop me immediately.”  
“I will, but I doubt you ever will.”  
Sofia smiled softly. She hoped so too.   
“So, why did you leave Grissom? After all the trouble you guys surely got into when Ecklie found out about you. I can’t imagine he was alright with that.”  
“Hell no.” Sara had to laugh. “He got Grissom and me in his office, not together of course, and we screwed up the first question. He wanted to know since when had there been something between Gil and me. I said two years that was the time we were together. Gil said nine years.”  
“Nine years?”   
“Yeah.” Sara giggled. “That was when we met for the first time. You can imagine Ecklie was not happy with the little difference in our stories. Anyway, I changed shifts. Gil asked me to marry him. I said yes. I really wanted to do that at that time, probably all the years before too. But thenafter I realized what we were about to do and after all the ghosts of my past started to haunt me, I couldn’t do it anymore. I loved him, more than I loved anybody before. But sometimes love isn’t enough.”   
She paused. It sounded so wrong and she knew it.  
“I know, love is the most important thing in a relationship,” Sara went on when Sofia didn’t say anything to agree or disagree. “It is, but it isn’t enough. I knew he loved me, he always had. But he couldn’t give me what I needed. We were together and I still felt alone. Physically he was there, emotionally he wasn’t. I’m not an easy person, I know that. Especially when it comes to personal things, my private life, especially my past, I shut people out. Gil never tried to open me up, he knew most things anyway because he was my supervisor, but he never gave me the feeling that he wanted to know everything to understand me. Hewe never were emotionally close enough. And when I had that case with Hannah again.” Sara looked in Sofia’s eyes to see if she knew whom Sara was talking about and when Sofia simply nodded, Sara knew she didn’t need to explain anything.   
“I couldn’t handle it anymore. It drop-kicked me of my way, out of my life, the life I was trying to create with Gil. He wasn’t there to catch me when I fell. He didn’t know what to do, so I left. I never intended to leave him, all I wanted was a little break, to sort things out, but Iit didn’t feel right anymore to come back. I couldn’t do it anymore and I didn’t want to lie to him. A marriage would have been a lie.”  
“Diddo you still talk to him?” Sofia asked cautiously.   
“Yes, sometimes. After I left I went back to Vegas one time, to explain everything to him. I didn’t want to write a letter or call him, that wouldn’t have been fair to him. So we talked, a whole night, we ended it together and that way we were both were fine with it. Yes, we are still in contact, good contact, I hope we’ll never lose the contact and he’s much happier since he left Vegas.”  
“Sometimes it’s the best thing to make a cut.”  
“Yes, otherwise you end up in lies and both get hurt.”  
“I think you did the right thing. Honestly you are more relaxed than in Vegas.”  
“I’m not an emotionally cold bitch anymore?”  
“Who called you that?”  
“How else did you call me when we met the first time?”  
“A bitch.” Sofia laughed. “The whole shift wasn’t nice to me. But not an emotionally cold bitch. I didn’t care enough to find out if you were emotionally cold. And later as a detective, I felt sometimes like just slapping you on your head to wake you up. Like in the werewolf case. I waited for hours for you in the cold and darkness, started to work the scene and you acted like I messed the case up.”  
“I really didn’t get your message earlier.”  
“I believe you. And I knew, there were things in your life, that made you suspicious when it came to people, but knowing now, there was a change in your behavior when I came back from Boulder. I didn’t know what it was, now I know, it was Grissom.”  
“You tried to hit on him.”  
“No.”  
“Yes.”  
“I tried to impress him, yes. I was never sexually interested in him. Thank God for that, who knows what you would have done to me.”  
“Nothing. Gil and me, we had this kind of conversation only once, when he spent the night at Lady Heather’s place.”  
“Lady Heather? The Lady Heather?” Sofia’s eyes got huge.   
“Yes, that Lady Heather. They are friends, I hadn’t really met her before, he didn’t tell me anything, so I was really pissed off. He didn’t tell me, he was at her place, I found out when Cath mentioned it.”  
“That is so Grissom.”  
“Yes, it is.” Sara had to smile. Of course he hadn’t thought of telling her what kind of relationship he and Heather had, of course he didn’t tell her he went over to her place because she needed a friend, of course he didn’t understand why it set her up. She was emotionally disabled, he was emotional unavailable – at least sometimes.  
“You said, love isn’t the only thing that holds a relationship together,” Sofia said “Being open and honest to your partner is also important because these things are the basis of trust, the basis of love. You can’t love somebody you don’t trust and you can’t trust somebody who holds things behind their back. And I don’t mean like not telling you all the secrets on the first date, I mean generally holding back what’s happening inside you, why you do what you do. It takes time to trust, it takes time to tell the things that messed you up but as long as there’s the intention to share, as long as you don’t hold back because you don’t want the other to know, as long as you don’t talk because you’re simply not interested in sharing the information, it’s okay to take all the time you need.”  
Sara looked at Sofia for a long and silent time.   
“Whoever gets you one day, Sofia, is a lucky person.” Sara’s voice was absolutely serious and sincere.   
“Thanks, same as the lucky one who will get you.” Their eyes went back to the TV. The credits of the movie were on the screen.   
“Want another one?” Sofia asked.  
“Are you tired?”  
“Not really.”  
“Put one on, I’ll fall asleep that’s for sure.”  
“We don’t have to”  
“If you promise me to wake me up instead of carrying me and breaking your back, it’s alright with me.”  
“I will wake you up, gently. No snow, no cold water.”  
“Deal.” Sara got up to get both a new cup of tea and Sofia changed the movie.   
Back on the sofa Sofia lifted her arm, a sign for Sara to use her shoulder again as a pillow. With a smile Sara took the offer. Who would have thought that a couple of years ago?  
“Rear Window.”  
“Another classic.” She watched the screen. James Stewart again, he must have been Alfred Hitchcock’s favorite actor. Sara liked him, she had seen all the Hitchcock movies with him.   
When she got tired, she turned her head a little bit and mumbled, “Good night, Sofia.”  
“Good night, Sara. I’ll wake you up after the movie. Gently.”  
“Thank you.”   
“You’rewelcome.” Sofia had to get herself together.  
Sara had kissed her neck. Just Sara’s breath on her neck yesterday had made Sofia lose her own breath for a few minutes and made her heart beat faster. This kiss was even worse. She was sure that Sara could feel her heart jumping, her breath getting faster and the hot flash in her body. What the hell was it, that a harmless thing like a little kiss, from a person, who was more asleep than awake, could make her lose her control? She stayed cool when a dozen guys were shooting at her, she lost her grip when Sara was there.   
That wasn’t good, that was absolutely not good. 

December

“Speak if you have to.“  
”I wish a wonderful good evening to you too.“ Sofia laughed. Sara had answered the phone friendlier a few times before.   
“Sorry, I thought it was one of the annoying guys that keep calling me all the time to sell me any kind of shit.”  
“Shouldn’t you tell them to shut up?”  
“No, usually I let them talk, put the phone down, do whatever I was doing before the call and when I’m finished they’re gone. People don’t have the patience to wait, like for a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle.”  
“You finished a puzzle while some guys tried to sell you something?”  
“Yeah, I was half way done when he called, I wanted to finish it and when I was done, he was gone.”  
“I’m sure he won’t call again.”  
“I hope not. So, how is the lieutenant? Lieutenant Lascivious?”  
“I’m fine, Investigator Incredible. How is exciting Fresno?”  
“Quiet and nice. No overtime this week. It seems like everybody is getting prepared for Christmas.”  
“You’ve got all your gifts?”  
“Sure, I bought myself some nice things,” Sara said.  
“What did you buy for me?”  
“I didn’t know I had to buy something for you. Do you deserve something?”  
“I deserve everything.”  
“Really?”  
“Of course. Listen, we have to talk about Christmas,” Sofia said.  
“You’ve got to work?” They were supposed to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day together. Sofia wanted to drive over after her shift to Sara’s place. Did her boss changed their plans for them? Sara had to admit, she was slightly disappointed if that was the case.   
“No, I don’t. They agreed with my day off, I won’t let take them that away. Can you turn on your computer?”  
“It is on.”  
“Go onlineyou’ve got a hotmail address, don’t you?”  
“Yes.” Sara began to feel suspicious. Why did Sofia ask these questions and why did she want Sara to be online?  
“Got MSN messenger?”  
“Yes.”  
“I’ll add you on my list, turn on your messenger.”  
“Okay.” Sara went with the phone tucked between head and shoulder to her computer and turned on her MSN messenger. Seconds later she had a message from Sofia on her screen, asking for permission to talk to her. Sara clicked okay and saw Sofia online.  
“And now?” They were still on the phone, they could talk. There was no need to do these things.   
“No, I’ll text you...”  
“We could just go on talking on the phone. It’s easier, it’s faster and we don’t have to sit the whole time at the same place.”  
“We can talk, but I need you to stay with the computer.”  
“Why?”  
“Trust me.”  
“This better be good, I wanted to lie down on the couch.”  
“It is. It explains why there’s a little problem for our Christmas plans.” Sofia sent her an invitation to see her web cam.  
“What? Somebody messed up your hair and you want to show me that? As a reason why you can’t leave the house for the next weeks?”  
“Don’t be silly.” Sofia laughed. She had to work the whole day with people, if somebody would have messed up her hair, she had to cope with that. There was no chance to hide in her office.  
The webcam showed Sara a Sofia who looked exactly the same way like she did the last time the women had seen each other. Nothing special, nothing to worry.   
“Do you have a cam?”  
“No, and if I had I wouldn’t turn it on. You know how I look. Sofia, what is this about? What does it have to do with Christmas?”  
“I want to show you my special problem.” Sofia bent down and when she came up again a second later, she had something black and small in her hands.   
“Sara, this is Tobey, Tobey that’s Sara. Say hello to her.”   
“A puppy?” Sara couldn’t believe it. Sofia had bought herself a puppy?   
“Yes, my man in the house. Fourteen weeks old, has been living for two weeks in my kitchen and the new king of the carpet.”  
“What is he? Rottweiler?”  
“Yes, a Rottweiler.”  
“He’ll be huge.”  
“I hope so.”  
“And now show me the problem.”  
“He is the problem. I mean, sorry honey.” Sofia kissed the puppy and petted it softly. “You’re not a problem, you’re my Sweety, but I’m not sure if you’d like to have a puppy in your house.”  
“How could I ban a cute guy from my apartment? As far as I know dogs are allowed, bring him with you. I’ll enjoy having him around, playing with him and cuddling him until he falls asleep.”  
“Sounds like you won’t need me anymore.” Sofia smiled, relieved. She wasn’t sure how Sara reacted because of Tobey, Sofia knew Sara liked animals but did she also like them in her apartment?   
“I need you, you have to handle the food and all the rest while I play with your man.”  
“Under other circumstances I’d be jealous but knowing you and him, I’ll be fine.”  
“So you’ll be here?”  
“I’ll get Tobey after work and we’ll come straight to your place. Hopefully before seven p.m.”  
“I’ll fix some dinner for us. What does Tobey eat?”  
“I’ll bring his food, don’t worry about him. He’s a meat lover,” Sofia whispered, which made Sara laugh. She didn’t expect anything else. 

With Tobey on his leash, and a big backpack on her back, Sofia entered Sara’s apartment. The investigator immediately went down to cuddle the puppy.   
“Oh, you’re so cute.”  
“Thanks. I know. But say something nice to Tobey too.” Sofia grinned.  
“I was talking to your dog, Miss Super-Ego.”  
“You like my ego.”  
“It is even bigger than your backpackhow long are you gonna stay here? I had one night in mind.”  
“It’s Tobey, he has so many things. His blanket, his favorite toys and food. I tell you, a puppy is worse than a girlfriend, all these things they need.”  
“You think he’ll be alright in the living room?”  
“He’ll be fine with me, don’t worry. And he’s housebroken, he’ll let us know if he needs a little walk. I let him out for a couple of minutes before we came up.”  
“Good. Dinner is prepared.”  
“I love coming here, it’s warm, I’ll get some food and I’m sure there’s a beer waiting for me.”  
“I thought we’d have some wine with the food.”  
“What did you cook? Or did you get everything delivered?”  
“A good host cooks. A steak for you, mixed veggies, potatoes and some tofu for me. Not the traditional Christmas stuff but if you want, we can get all the Christmas stuff for tomorrow.”  
“I’m fine with everything, I don’t need a huge lunch with special food. A pizza will do.”  
“You’re easy to please,” said Sara.  
“If it comes to food, yes.”  
“When not?”  
“You can try to find out.” Sofia grinned and Sara rolled her eyes.   
“Tobey, your mummy is crazy.” She took the puppy in her arms. “He’s quite big already.”  
“He’ll be huge in two years.”  
“You won’t need your gun anymore when you’re jogging.”  
“Jogging without a gun is like running naked, I don’t do that.”  
“That would put you into prison.”  
“Only if the wrong officer catches me.” Sofia got the dinner for Tobey out of the bag. Immediately the dog’s attention went from Sara to Sofia and his bowl. He jumped from her lap and sat next to Sofia, patiently waiting for his dinner.   
“Wow, he’s good.”  
“He has police school three times a week.”  
“Do you want him in the force?”  
“No, but I want him to be very well trained. And the good thing is, we have this police dog school in the same building, so I can leave him there while I’m working.” She set the food down and Tobey looked at her.   
“Enjoy your meal.” No need to say that twice to the puppy!  
“I’m impressed.”   
“They do a great job, I know.” Sofia got two bottles of wine out of her bag. “Some treats for us later.”  
After their dinner Sara insisted that they would take Tobey for a walk, so they found themselves outside in a cold wind and light rain. The dog was happily running around, chasing a ball Sofia threw every now and then and he retrieved - if nothing caught his attention that seemed to be better than a ball.   
Cold and wet, they came back to Sara’s apartment and Tobey went straight to his blanket. There were so many new things for him today, he was tired and needed some sleep.   
“I guess for the rest of the night he won’t need any attention.” Sofia softly petted her dog and smiled. She loved having a dog. It was much nicer to be at home with Tobey. When he wasn’t waiting for her, he made sure that every inch of the apartment looked exactly the same as they left it in the morning. He kept her company when she was out jogging or walking, he joined her in front of the TV, fell asleep in front of the couch and every morning he was lying next to her bed, waiting for her to wake up.   
“How come you bought yourself a dog? Did you feel lonely?”  
“It’s nice to come home to somebody or to come home with somebody.”  
“Sick of humans? I bet there were a few guys who wouldn’t mind being in Tobey’s shoes. Or shall I say paws?”  
“The last guy I dated turned out to be married, the last woman I dated turned out to be a control freak. I guess, I was too sick of San Jose’s singles and want-to be-singles. I need a partner whom I can trust, who’s there. Who isn’t interested in getting me into bed and that’s it.”  
“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind ending up in your bed.”  
“No, he wouldn’t. But he’s fine with his blanket and a good night kiss. I think he doesn’t care about my appearance.”  
“You do.”  
“Sometimes I’ve got a lazy day and just want to be in sweat pants, a huge t-shirt and hang around the beach. He doesn’t care what I wear, he loves me unconditionally.”  
“You sound like you’re totally in love.”  
“I am. This guy has my heart.”  
“Maybe I should get a dog too,” Sara said.  
“Why not a human?”  
“Same reasons you named. I want somebody I can trust, who’s there for me. And dogs don’t ask questions, don’t want explanations as to why I do what I do and won’t sit the whole weekend in front of the TV watching sports.”  
“Tobey prefers to do sports,” Sofia said.  
“See, that’s what I want. Somebody who joins me on my hikes.”  
“I do that.”  
“We don’t have enough free days together. But we’re still on for Mount Whitney. By that time Tobey will be big enough for that hike.” They had to look for treks they could take Tobey with them. There would be a few treks they couldn’t walk with the dog but it was more important to have him around than seeing these treks.   
“We’ll train him. I think in two months I’ll start to do some cycling tours with him. He is already quite good next to my bike, a little easy to distract, but he’s a puppy.”  
“Exactly, he needs to play,” Sara said.  
“Like a child.”  
“I’m sure you’re a good mother.”  
“Of course. So, what do we two beauties do with the rest of the Christmas evening?” Sofia asked.  
“Watch Christmas movies?”  
“You have Christmas movies? Aren’t you the one, who always tried to work on Christmas? Who wanted to punch the huge fake Santa Claus in the department store for his ‘Ho! Ho! Ho’ every time somebody entered? You have Christmas movies?”  
“The Grinch and some very old Christmas movies in black and white,” Sara replied.  
“That sounds more like you.”  
“Get the huge bag of candy you brought.”  
“What makes you think I’ve got a huge bag of candy with me?”  
“It’s you, you never go anywhere without your bag of candy.”  
“You know me too damn well, I’m afraid I’ll have to kill you for that one day.”  
“Are you threatening me?” Sara asked.  
“I’m warning you, to give you a fair chance.”  
“You might be a lieutenant, but I know how to mix the right stuff that will kick you out of your arrogant boots.”  
“Boots can’t be arrogant,” Sofia said.  
“If they’re yours, they can. Just like the rest of you.”  
“Are you looking for trouble?”  
“Are you threatening me again?”  
“Still warning you.”  
“Sweet,” Sara said. “Let’s have some wine, chocolate and a movie. We’ll save the fight for another day. It’s Christmas, let’s pretend to be happy.”  
Sofia put her hand on Sara’s arm before she could turn away. There was some bitterness in Sara’s voice that made Sofia stop. She hoped she hadn’t said anything to make the brunette sad.   
“I am happy and I hope, you are too.”   
“I am, don’t worry.”  
“We don’t really fight, do we?”  
“It’s us, we’re playing. Teasing each other is one of our favorite pastimes. Since when are you concerned about that?” Sara asked.  
“Sorry, bloody Christmas makes meshaky. I do sometimes forget everything is alright because it seems to be to good to be true.”  
“Everything is alright, Sofia.” Sara hugged her briefly and took Sofia’s hand to bring her to the couch. “Sit down, I’ll get the movie and the chocolate. Because it’s Christmas even I have a huge bowl of this sweet stuff.”  
“Christmas is a good time, the best time of the year. Everybody has candy. It’s like Halloween but you can eat the candy for more than one day.”  
“I bet your parents were happy when you were a child and Christmas was over. They probably had to make an appointment with the dentist first thing in the new year.”  
“Shut up and move, I want chocolate.” Sofia smirked. No, she didn’t need a dentist after Christmas, that would have been a wasted effort. Her teeth were covered in chocolate for at least a whole month.

Sara did fall asleep on the sofa again and she woke up with Sofia’s arm around her, who was still watching TV.  
“You like sleeping on my shoulder, don’t you?”  
“It’s warm.”  
“Normally I don’t like it when women use me, but in your case it’s alright. I don’t feel bad afterward.”  
“I can tell you, you were good if that would make you feel better.”  
“That’s what I usually hear.”  
“Woah, your ego grows againare you ever unsure?”  
“I’m not sure about thatdoes that count as being unsure?”  
“Shut up. I’m going to bed. You’re alright here?”  
“Yes, I’m fine. I’ll finish the movie and go to sleep then. What time would you like to have breakfast delivered to your bed?” Sofia asked.  
“I get breakfast in bed?”  
“Sure.”  
“Eight o’clock. I won’t sleep longer.”  
“I’ll be on time.”  
“Thanks.” Sara gave Sofia a hug. “Sleep tight and don’t eat to many sweets, you might get some nightmares otherwise.”  
“I’ll be a good girl, mom.” She kissed Sara lightly on the cheek. “Good night.” Sara vanished smiling to her room and Sofia turned her attention back to the television.   
The Grinch was laughing onscreen; he was about to destroy Christmas. He hated Christmas just as much as Sara did once. No wonder this movie was in her collection.   
Sara. Who would have thought Sofia would spend a Christmas Eve on Sara Sidle’s sofa? Spending her night in the apartment of the biggest Christmas hater in the LVPD? Actually enjoying the evening and looking forward to spend time with her on Christmas Day. In fact, she looked forward to spend any day with Sara. She loved spending time with Sara, she looked forward to see her on their mutual days off, no matter what their plans were. What did that say about her? Had she lost her mind?   
Sofia had turned down an offer to celebrate with some of the colleagues, the ones who wouldn’t go to their families; turned down the offer of having lunch with some friends she hung out with on weekend nights and also Felix’s offer to join him for a romantic candlelight dinner. He didn’t expected anything else than a “no” so he took it with a smile, knowing Sofia’s plans for these two days.   
Spending time with Sara. Why did Sofia enjoy that so much? What did happen in that one week in Los Angeles last summer? What did they do that they suddenly became friends? Not only friends, Sofia considered Sara as one of her closest friends, one she could talk to about everything. Was it only the time together that had made them feel closer to each other? Or was it something else? Why did she enjoy being with Sara? Why had she dreamed the whole last week of these two days? Why did the thought of Sara make her sleepless? Why was Sara in her dreams? Whywait a minute! All these questionsdid they mean  
Oh no! That couldn’t be! Please not! Sofia turned off the television in shock and stared in the dark before letting herself drop back on the sofa. All these questions, all these questions, that were less questions than statements, they all led her to one conclusion; one she didn’t want to be true, didn’t want to hear: she had a damn crush on Sara! Why? Okay, why was perhaps the wrong question, there were many reasons why somebody could have a crush on Sara. So she should ask the question this way: Why her? Why Sara? What was Sofia thinking? Did she think at all? They were friends, she should be happy with that. There had never been more. There was no reason why there should be more now. This would only destroy their friendship. They had neverthey had never flirted or did they? Did they flirt in Vegas?   
Couldn’t be. Sara had barely talked to her in the first weeks and when Sofia came back to Vegas as a detective, the CSI waswell, she was more friendly than before, but she was involved with Grissom. They didn’t flirt. They only managed to get along. Although sometimes no, Sofia made too much of some things. That time she and Sara walked through the lab and Sara gave her one of her special Sara smiles, that Sofia was the detective, she should go and detect, that wasn’t flirting. Was it? Did she let her wait in front of the public phone because she didn’t want to be alone with Sofia, afraid of her feelings? Did she send Sofia out of the lab while the investigation of the Bell case was ongoing because she was afraid that Sofia would destroy her career?   
Get a grip, Curtis! Sara was in love with Grissom, she told you, she loved him. You are making things up. Stop talking yourself into something you’ll regret. Don’t make yourself unhappy by destroying a friendship that is so very important to you. Just get your head straight, even better, get yourself straight and this crush on Sara will vanish out of your head. She is only a friend. Only a friend. A friend

Sofia must have fallen asleep because a little whine woke her up. She was still on the sofa, never having made up her bed.   
Tobey was sitting in front of Sara’s bedroom door.   
“Hey Tobey, if you need to go out, it’s the other door.” Sofia got up to take her puppy outside. As she got closer, she could hear Sara talking in her sleep. The door wasn’t really closed and what Sofia heard didn’t sound good. Sara was having a nightmare and when she cried out loudly, Tobey started to whine again. That was the reason why the puppy was sitting in front of Sara’s door. He had heard and felt Sara wasn’t alright and wanted to go inside to help her, see what was wrong.  
“Okay, we’ll have a look.” Sofia opened the door and stepped into Sara’s bedroom. The curtain wasn’t closed properly so some streetlight shone on Sara’s bed. She was sweating, turning around, crying quietly and it was clear that Sara was in a horrible nightmare.   
“No! No! Please! Don’t!”  
Sofia put Tobey on the floor and went to the bed. She had to wake her up.   
“Sara.” As softly as possible Sofia laid a hand on Sara’s shoulder, shaking her slowly. The last thing she wanted was to scare Sara even more.  
“No! No!”   
“Sara!” Sofia’s voice got louder. She had to wake her up now. She grabbed the CSI and shook her stronger.   
“No! I” Sara woke up and looked at Sofia, not knowing what Sofia was doing here, not even sure where she was and what happened. She was shaking all over her body and Sofia stopped thinking and acted like her intuition told her; she took Sara in her arms.   
“Everything is fine, relax. I’m here. Nothing will happen to you.”  
“SofiaI”  
“Shhh, just relax. I’ve got you, I’ll take care of you. Nobody will hurt you. I promise.” She wrapped her arms tighter around Sara. It was not only to comfort the brunette, Sofia needed Sara in her arms for her own sake. Hearing this sound in Sara’s voice had broken her heart.   
“What are you doing here?”  
“Tobey heard you crying in your sleep, he was sitting in front of your door whining and I woke up, thought he had to go out, but all he wanted was to come in here to see if you’re alright. You had a nightmare, you can stop shaking now, I’m here and I have you in my arms, nothing will happen anymore.”  
“Iit was no nightmareit was real.”  
“They all feel real, honey. No need to be afraid anymore. If you want, I’ll stay with you, I’ll scare everything away. And Tobey will stay too, he’ll protect you.”  
“You can’t protect me.”  
“Didn’t you say I’m a good lieutenant? Then I can protect you.”  
“You can’t.”  
“Whatever is chasing you, I’ll beat it.”  
“You can’t beat the past.” Sara mumbled the words, desperately trying to find some hold in Sofia’s arms.   
“I can try if you want.” She had to do anything. It broke Sofia’s heart to see Sara like this, to know, she was suffering. She wanted to do everything to make her feel better, to feel safe and stop crying. She would stay with Sara as long she needed her. She wouldn’t let her alone with these nightmares. Not even if Sara would tell her she was alright, Sofia could see and feel, Sara wasn’t.   
“Did you read my file?” The question caught Sofia off guard. What was she supposed to say? Yes, Ecklie gave me your file. Yes I read it. No, I didn’t read everything but I’m pretty sure I know more about you than you’d like. Was it better to lie?   
“Ecklie gave it to me.” Not a lie, not the entire truth and a real answer to the question Sara had asked her.   
“Did you read it all?” Sara’s voice was soundless. She knew the blonde was trying to avoid to answer the question.   
“I read only the things that were work related, when it came to private stuffI stopped after the first few sentences.”   
Sara got herself out of Sofia’s embrace and it made Sofia’s heart break. She wanted to tell her not to turn away, to stay with her.   
“I’m sorry.” What could Sofia say? She had to read the file, she tried not to get too much into Sara’s private life but she read things that were very private.   
Sara rolled on her side, facing the window, facing away from Sofia.   
Not really knowing what to do, Sofia asked the one question she was afraid of asking. The one she didn’t really want to ask. “Would like me to leave?” Where should she go? It was in the middle of the night. She had drunk a whole bottle of wine, she wasn’t supposed to drive, and she doubted there was a motel in Fresno open at 3 a.m. that would likely give her and Tobey a room. But she would do it, she would do it, if Sara asked her to leave. Probably she wouldn’t even be mad at her if she did. She should have told her earlier.   
“No.” Sara didn’t turn around.   
Sofia wasn’t sure what to do. Tobey was sleeping in front of the bed. Since nobody was crying, he was alright. Slowly Sofia raised to go back to the sofa.   
When she bent down to pick Tobey up, Sara said very quietly. “Sofia?”   
“Yes?” She stopped and just petted Tobey.   
“Can you chase my nightmare away? Can you try? Please.”  
“If you want me to try, yes, I’d love to try.”  
Sara turned around, took Sofia’s hand and pulled her to herself.   
“Please stay here, hold me and chase them all away.”  
“Okay.” Sofia slipped next to Sara and wrapped her arm around the waist of the still trembling woman. Sara was cold as ice. Her face close to Sara’s hair, she could smell the special smell of Sara.   
They were quiet for a long time. Sofia thought Sara might have been falling asleep again when Sara suddenly spoke.  
“What did you read about my childhood?”  
“Sara, we don’t have to go there. Don’t say anything that will make you suffer. Don’t go back if it makes you feel bad.”  
“What did you read?”  
Sofia made the decision that it was the best to be honest. Sara was her friend. She couldn’t lie to her, even if it would make things easier for her. A lie was still a lie.  
“All I know is that you were in foster homes after your thirteenth birthday.” As soon as she had read that, Sofia put the file away, knowing she was crossing over a line that she wasn’t supposed to cross. Nobody was supposed to read this without Sara’s permission.   
“You know why I had to go there?”  
“No.” Sofia could see Sara’s eyes were closed in pain. She wanted her to stop, wanted her to go away from the memories, that gave her all the pain.   
“My mother killed my father.” It sounded so easy, like Sara would order a coffee to go and yet, Sofia could hear all the pain in these five words. She could feel how with saying these words, Sara’s whole body trembled again, how she had to fight not to lose control. Sofia didn’t want her to feel like this. She didn’t want her to suffer.  
And she had no idea what to say.   
“He wasn’t a good man. Not a good husband. Not a good father. He took every chance he got to beat the crap out of us. We were so often in hospitals, I wonder why nobody realized what was going on. Or maybe they did - but nobody cared.” That was why Sara reacted so sensitively in cases with child abuse. That was why she worked herself over the limit whenever a child was involved. She wanted revenge. She wanted the father, the mother, the uncle, whoever hurt the child, to pay. All these children made her remember herself as a helpless child.   
“One day, he was coming after me, I tried to escape, ran into the kitchen, tried to hide under the table, crying, scared, knowing my mother couldn’t stop him, wouldn’t try to stop him because then it would be her who got all his anger. When he came in the kitchen, my mother was there too, he had to go past her to grab me. He was almost next to her when she took a knife and stabbed him. Again and again and again. She didn’t stop, she laughed, it sounded so crazy. She stabbed, she laughed, she stabbed, she laughed. He was looking at her with surprise, he looked to me like he wanted to say, I should help him. And all I did was sit under the table, crying without a sound, scared, she would kill me next.”  
Sara paused. Sofia found her hand and took it in hers. What was she supposed to say? She had to fight back the tears that were running down her face. She imagined Sara as a little girl, covered in bruises, scared to death of her parents, blood all over her body, with broken bones, in a hospital. Nobody cared what happened to her.   
“The police came, took her into custody and me in a foster home. Nobody beat me anymore but it wasn’t much better than home. I guess the first time I felt like a human was when I went to university, free of everything.”  
Sara turned around, ready to see pity in Sofia’s eyes. That was what she expected from people and that was what she didn’t want to see. She didn’t need anybody’s pity.   
Sofia’s eyes were still filled with tears. She simply moved her arm closer around Sara and dragged her closer to herself.   
“I won’t tell you I’m sorry because that won’t change anything. I won’t tell you I know what you felt because I’ve never been in any situation like that. I won’t tell you everything will be alright because it will never be. The only thing I do tell you is, I’m here, I’ll be there, whenever you need somebody. I can’t make up for the past, I can’t make it undone as much as I want to, I can’t take all the pain away from you. I can only offer you to be there, to hold you and stay with you when you need somebody.” She could feel Sara’s tears on her shirt, she could feel the cold skin getting a little bit warmer, she could feel how the woman didn’t tremble as much as before. Sara was far away from being relaxed, but she had the control over her body back.   
“I think I need somebody tonight.”  
“I’ll be here.” Sofia dried a tear from Sara’s face, searching those brown eyes she loved so much.   
“Can you hold me?”  
“I will.”  
Sara turned around again. Sofia was first disappointed about this but when Sara started to talk again, it was clear it was easier for Sara to talk facing the window. She didn’t try to withdraw from Sofia, instead she dragged Sofia’s arms closer around herself. All she needed was a little bit of space, in this case by facing the window.   
“I don’t get this nightmare very often. There were times, I had it once a month or even more often. Now I get them on Christmas and every year of the day she killed him. Family days, days that remind me of them, of not having a family you’re supposed to have.”  
“I won’t let you out of my arms for the rest of the night and if you want, I’ll stay tomorrow night too.”  
“You have to work.”  
“I can leave at six in the morning, that will give me enough time to be at work at nine. I don’t want you to be in this dream and be alone.”  
“I can handle it, I did it for years.”  
“Just because you did something for years doesn’t make it better. Or right. You shouldn’t be alone.”  
“You can’t stay with me every night.”  
“I can try to be there on days you’re likely to get them. Like Christmas. Like that day your mother killed your father. I can stay here, I can be there for you. The night before, the actual night, the next night. And wake you up when you get a nightmare, hold you and chase all the demons away.”  
“You can’t chase them all away.”  
“Hey, I’m a lieutenant, I can do a lot of things. And as soon as I’m chief of the police I can do everything. And if something pisses me off, I’ll move heaven and hell to get rid of whatever it is. Seeing you so sad, suffering and in pain really pisses me off. There are not many things that can top that. In fact, I can’t think of a one.”  
Sara pressed Sofia’s hand for a short moment. She was very happy to have Sofia here, she was happy the blonde didn’t ask questions, that she had simply listened to Sara’s story and didn’t try to tell her all the useless things other people had tried to tell her. Sofia was right, it would never be alright and there was nothing she could do to make it undone. It was good to know Sofia didn’t want to pretend anything that wasn’t possible.   
“Are you in love with me?”   
Had the question about the file caught Sofia off-guard, this one threw her against a wall and smashed her back. What was she supposed to say? Did she have to answer this question? She had this long discussion with herself hours before. She wasn’t ready to talk about it. But she couldn’t ignore it. Couldn’t say it was too private. It was damn private, yes, but it was a thing that mattered to Sara too.   
If she told her yes, would she turn away? Would she send Sofia away? Two answers Sara didn’t like in one night were too much. If she said no, she would lie. She had told Sara all these things she wanted to do for her, that she wanted to be there for her. How could she be there for Sara if she lied to her?   
“Yes.”   
After a second or two to let Sara work with the answer, Sofia continued. “Do you want me to go back to the sofa? Or leave?”  
“Why do you always want to leave? Running away doesn’t solve a problem.” A problem? It was a problem for Sara to know that Sofia was in love with her? Okay, that made things more complicated.  
“Running away is especially stupid and without sense if there’s no problem.”  
Sofia wasn’t sure if Sara could hear the huge rock falling from her heart. There was no problem. Sara didn’t mind her feelings. She still held Sofia’s hand. In fact, she had never loosened her grip.   
“You’re cool with that?”  
“Sofia, it was obvious, I was just too blind. Why should I be bothered? You won’t take advantage of my situation right now, that’s not your style. And I do enjoy your company, more, right now I need it. Sending you away would be quite stupid. I’m not that stupid.”  
“You’re a geek, you’re not stupid at all.”  
“I’m a hopeless nutcase, a psycho workaholic with a fucked-up childhood.”  
“You’re the most intelligent, the most adorable, and the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. And one of the biggest bitches too. Although you’ve lost a little bit of your bitchy character in the last years, especially the last months. But there’s still this ‘bite me’ sound in your voice, that I really enjoy.”  
“I’ve changed, you’re still smug, with an ego big enough for a baseball team and the most amazing ice-blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”  
“You like my eyes?” Sofia giggled.   
“Shut up.”  
“Do you like my legs? They’re really long.”  
“Curtis, one more sentence like that and I’ll kick you, your eyes, your legs, your ego, and your ass out of my apartment.”  
“So you like my ass too?” Sofia laughed.   
“I’m gonna ignore you now and try to sleep.”  
“Do that.” Sofia pulled Sara closer to herself again, happy that the other woman didn’t try to stop her and seemed to be alright with it. “I’ll take care of you, as I’ve promised.”   
“Thanks.” Sara closed her eyes and sighed. Having Sofia around, feeling her, being in her arms, gave her a kind of security. Maybe she could get some sleep this way. 

“Good morning, Sara Sunshine. Fresh toast, fresh pressed orange juice and a little fruit salad, together with a huge cup of coffee, black as the night.” Sofia set the little tray with breakfast on Sara’s bed. It wasn’t eight o’clock, it was nine, but Sofia couldn’t bear to wake Sara up. It was hard enough for herself to leave the bed and let Tobey out. She had to leave Sara, had to let her out of her arms. But she knew, if she didn’t do that, Tobey would turn the living room into a pool.   
“Morning.” Sara had a look at her watch. “It’s nine.”  
“Good girl, you can read the time.” Sofia smirked.   
“I thought breakfast time was eight.”  
“That was before you spent half of the night awake.”  
“How come you’re awake?”  
“My little friend had to go out and being a good mother, I took him for a little walk after his breakfast to have all the time in the world for your breakfast.”  
“What about your breakfast?”  
“In the kitchen.”  
“Go and get it, we’ll have breakfast in bed.”  
“Sounds good to me.” Sofia smiled, got her breakfast and joined Sara.   
“Oh, Sofia?” Sara said as soon as Sofia sat next to her, coffee, toast and a banana on her tray.   
“Yes?” Sofia was prepared to leave the bed again, thinking that Sara just remembered something she needed for her breakfast.  
“Merry Christmas.” Sara bent over and kissed Sofia softly on the cheek.   
“Merry Christmas to you too.” Sofia made the decision that if Sara could kiss her cheek, she could do the same.   
“How did you sleep?” Sara asked.  
“After I saw you were sleeping, quiet and peaceful, I slept well. Just like the last time I had you in my arms.”  
“I think my bed is slightly more comfortable than the little tent.”  
“Yes it is. Did you change your mind about my offer? I can stay another night.”  
“It’s really sweet and I appreciate it, but it’s better you go home. I’ll be fine.”  
“I’ll call you tonight and talk you into sleep. That way it will be like I’m here.”  
“There’s a difference between hearing your voice on the phone and feeling your arms around me.” These words made Sofia feel warm. She hoped she didn’t blush.   
“Okay, I’m staying.” In fact, she wanted to stay. She wanted to be with Sara, wanted to hold her again, even of there were no nightmares.   
“No, you go.” Sara laughed. “You and Tobey go home and we’ll see each other the next time we’ve got some free time.”  
“I have to work straight until the sixth of January, after that, my boss gives me four days off.” Two weeks in a row, that was the price she had to pay to have Christmas Day off. This day was usually reserved for the ones with family. Having the privilege to be away from work today had cost her two weeks straight.   
“I’m on call for New Year’s Eve, but I have the weekend after it off. Just missed your days by two days.” If Fresno stayed quiet like the last year there wouldn’t be many cases for Sara and her colleagues.   
“Yeah.” Sofia’s free time started on Monday, when Sara had to work again. Not good timing.   
“Tell you what,” Sara offered. “I’ll come to San Jose. I bet Tobey would prefer to spend some time with me in the park than sitting alone in your apartment or in the department. We can have dinner together, like we did in L.A. How does that sound to you?”  
“Wonderful. I’ll give you my key, then you can let yourself in whenever you want. And after that, I’ll come with you back here, spend my days with Tobey outside, and when you come home, we’ll be waiting with dinner for you. Now, how does that sound to you?”  
“Like we’re married and you’re my housewife.”  
“I’ll never be anybody’s housewife! Not even yours, Sara Sidle.” There was no way anybody could make her stay at home cleaning, cooking, and washing the whole day. She was a lieutenant by heart. She needed to be out in the field.   
“Good, I don’t want a housewife.”  
“What about a lieutenant?”  
“Nah, I’d go more for a captain or a chief. You know I’m attracted to authority.”  
Sofia laughed. “I can solve that. I’ll see when the first date is that I can make captain.”  
“You’ve been a lieutenant only half a year, I guess you’ll have to wait a little bit longer.”  
“Yeah, maybe. And the thing with being a captain is, you’re not as much in the field - too much paperwork. As long as I’m fit enough to run and kick some ass, I’ll stay outside, protecting some CSI guys.”  
“Lucky them.”  
“Come to San Jose and I’ll be your private bodyguard.”  
“I’m sure you’d cover more than my back.” Sara grinned.  
“I’ll cover whatever you want me to cover.” Sofia smirked.  
“I thought so.” She put her breakfast tray away on the ground. “What are our plans for today?”  
“Well, I brought a lovely CD collection with Christmas songs, I couldn’t find a Christmas tree in your apartment so I decorated a plant and got some Christmas cookies from the petrol station. We can prepare lunch, take the baby out for a walk, come back and celebrate Christmas.”  
“I didn’t know you had this traditional blood running through your veins. What else is hidden deep down in you, Lieutenant?”  
“Stay around me long enough, dig carefully, and you might find out. You’re the investigator, go and investigate.”  
“I will. But first I’ll have a shower.” Sara slipped out of her bed, petted Tobey, took some clothes and walked to her bathroom.   
Sofia put her tray away, slipped down and closed her eyes. The whole bed smelled like Sara. The whole bed reminded her of last night. She was happy that Tobey had awakened her; otherwise she might never have heard Sara’s nightmare. What the brunette had told her was a real nightmare, not like a horror movie at all, it was real life and it was haunting. Sara had been haunted since her childhood. Was that the right word to use? Did Sara have a childhood? Childhood was supposed to be a time of joy, acting without cares and free. Sara never had that.  
Sofia wanted to give Sara a new childhood or something that made up for her childhood. Was that the reason why Sara had got her to dance in the mall in San Jose? Was it her inner child that wanted to be free and just play? It was a moment when she had seen Sara totally happy, with no shadows, just pure joy. Same for their water battles in Yosemite. Playing like children do. Same for their snowball fights in Tahoe.   
“Are you asleep again?” Sara came back in the bedroom, in jeans and a jumper, a towel wrapped around her hair.   
“No. Just thinking.”  
“I hope good thoughts.”  
“Every thought that includes you is somehow good, just because you’re in it.”  
“Don’t flirt with me now, I’m not awake enough.”  
“That means I can use your weakness. Sounds good to me.”  
“You’re that cold?” Sara sat on her bed looking at Sofia with an amused smile. Sofia simply moved the blanket away so that Sara could come next to her.  
“If you want me in my bed you should try better than just moving the blanket. I’m not that easy to have.”   
“If I tell you I need you in my arms right now for my inner sake, would that work?”  
“You’re alright?” The honest and serious sound in Sofia’s voice made Sara stop teasing.  
“Yes, I’m fine, I just need” What did she need? She couldn’t find words, not the right ones at least.  
Sara understood, let her towel drop on the floor, slipped next to Sofia and took her without another word in her arms.   
This was better. Sofia felt Sara’s arms around her, felt Sara’s heat from the shower, smelled her shampoo, her perfume and her skin. Sofia simply closed her eyes and let all these things work on her. All she needed were a few minutes of feeling safe, feeling she and Sara were both alright and that there was, right now, nothing that could hurt either one of them.   
“Stupid Christmas makes me shaky.”  
“I’m sorry if I made you feel bad last night,” Sara whispered.   
“You don’t have to feel sorry. I’m glad I could be there for you.” Sofia didn’t want to let Sara go and it didn’t feel like Sara wanted to get out of her arms. She could go on holding her, being held.   
“I dumped all my shit on you.”  
“Friends are there to take the shit of others.”  
“Not on Christmas, it’s supposed to be a happy feast.”  
“I’m there for you no matter what day it is.”  
“I don’t want toI meanI don’t want you to feel like I’d use you,” Sara said hesitantly. “You told me your feelings”  
“That was not to put any kind of pressure of you. All I wanted was to tell you the truth. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to remember it.”  
“It’s hard to forget.” Sara smiled a little bit. “And I don’t want to forget that. Finding out somebody has feelings for you is a nice thing. I’m sure we’ll find a way that will make both of us happy. I don’t want to lose you, Sofia.”  
“I definitely don’t want to lose you, Sara. In no way.”  
“It seems to me like you have me, right now you have me very close and there’s no way I’d slip away.”  
“No, there isn’t. When you’re in my arms it won’t be easy to get out of them again. I don’t let a cute investigator slip through my arms.”  
“I feel quite good in them. There’s no reason for me to leave.” Sara buried her face in Sofia’s hair. It was good to have somebody in her arms, it was so good to be in someone’s arms. And it felt good that this someone was Sofia. 

Sara held Tobey in her arms and cuddled the puppy. The Rottweiler thanked her with a lot of sloppy dog kisses.   
“Yes, you’re a good kisser, Tobey.”  
“He’s my student, imagine my kisses.” Sofia watched her dog and Sara sitting on the carpet. Tobey was a friendly puppy, but he loved Sara from the first look. They knew each other less than 24 hours and he was addicted to her.   
“Little showoff,” Sara said.  
“Don’t be mean to him.”  
“I’m talking about you,” Sara retorted.  
“Don’t call me a showoff before you’ve tested if I’m wrong.”  
“Nice try, lieutenant.”  
“I know. Unfortunately the investigator is too damn smart to fall for that. I have to try harder. Let’s see.” Sofia got up and walked to her bag.   
“Maybe this will work.” She got a parcel wrapped in Christmas paper out and walked to Sara.   
“What are you doing?”  
“Well, it’s Christmas. Merry Christmas.” Sofia smiled. Did Sara really think that she would come here without a present? No way. Presents were - next to chocolate and cookies – the best thing about Christmas.   
“You put the pressure on me. Hold the baby.” She handed Tobey to Sofia.  
“No pressure.”  
“Hmm.” Sara vanished in her room to come back with a wrapped box a minute later.   
“Oh, look Tobey, I knew I deserved a gift.”  
“It’s for Tobey,” Sara smirked.  
“Oh.”   
“Yes, it’s his first Christmas, he needs a present.” Sara put the box under the plant Sofia had decorated as a Christmas tree and put Sofia’s box next to it.   
“I need my camera, this is the first decent Christmas I’ve had ina long time.” Sofia said. “As long as you don’t count the family reunions.”  
Sara smiled sadly. She couldn’t remember a single happy family Christmas. The last nice Christmas she had was with Gil. He had given her at least a little bit of Christmas feeling. He knew she wasn’t the biggest Christmas fan but their little get-together was nice.   
“Got it. Take the baby, sit in front of theuhmtree and I’ll join you in a few sec’s.”   
“You’re serious?” The look Sofia gave Sara told her, yes, she was very serious. Sighing, Sara took Tobey in her arms and sat in front of the plant.   
Sofia placed the camera in the right position, pressed the self timer and ran to Sara and Tobey. Sara tried to give her the puppy.  
“Nah, keep him, I’ll take you in my arms.” She laid her arm around Sara and Tobey started to lick her face. The flash made him stop.   
“Great, now I’ve got a photo with a dog tongue in my face,” Sofia complained.  
“You got kissed on a Christmas picture, what’s wrong with that?”  
“Wrong person.”  
“Is that a hint?” Sara asked.  
“Never.” Sofia smiled and got up. “I’ll check the photo. Don’t run away.” She looked at her camera.  
“And?”  
“Second try, the tree isn’t in it completely. I cut the left half off.” Since it wasn’t a tree, it was barely visible.   
“Make sure you’ve got everything in the picture before you start the self timer.”  
“I will.” She set the camera again, signed Sara to move a little bit more to the left and came back.  
“No kisses this time, Tobey.”  
The Rottweiler wasn’t interested in his mommy. He saw the blinking light of the camera and looked at it. Just before the camera took the photo, Sara turned her head and kissed Sofia on the cheek.   
“Another kiss picture.” Sara said  
“Right person.” Sofia hoped she wasn’t blushing on the photo. She knew Sara did that to tease her.   
“I know.”  
“Really? Don’t play with my feelings,” Sofia told her.  
“I’d never do that, honey.”  
“Thanks, sugar. Open your present, I’ll open Tobey’s.”  
“Open his first.”   
“Okay.” Sofia took the big box and set it in front of the dog.  
“Look here, boy. Look what’s inside. Yummy?” She opened the paper and Tobey grabbed the end and tore it apart.   
“Don’t eat the paper, stupid, it’s about the thing in the box, not the paper.” Sofia opened the box and found a red collar, a ball and some treats.  
“Doggy chocolate, look. Oh I think, you want to share that with me, Tobey.”  
“You don’t really eat dog chocolate, do you?”  
“Sure I do. Nothing wrong with anything that tastes good.” She offered Tobey some chocolate but the puppy was more interested in destroying the box. He managed to climb in it and started to tear the box apart.   
“He’ll be occupied with that for a while.”  
“Now it’s your turn,” Sofia said, handing her a small box.  
“I do deserve something?”  
“A little something, as you can see.”   
Sara grinned at her. “Little things can be nice too.”  
Sofia watched Sara opening her box. A book. Sophie’s World.   
“I thought, after you gave me The little prince in Los Angeles that I had to find something similar. Do you know it?”  
“I heard about it. Philosophy?” Sara asked.  
“Yes, this girl, Sophie, receives two letters one day, each with one question. ‘Who are you?’ and ‘Where does the world come from?’ She starts to think about that and gets more and more letters like it. They take her into the world of philosophy. I thought it would be perfect for a geek. A scientist meets a philosophy geek.”  
“I like things that challenge my brain,” Sara said.  
“Of course you do.”  
“Did you like your book?”  
“Yes, I read it twice already. A nice and sad story. The fox reminded me of you,” Sofia told her.  
“Why?”  
“The little prince had to tame it first before they became friends.”  
“So did you tame me?” Sara smirked.   
“I’d say. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here now, we would have never spent the weekend in San Jose, in the National Park and all the other things we did. Yes, I tamed you, little fox.”  
Sara smiled. “Open your present.”  
Sofia grinned and began to unwrap her present. As big as Tobey’s box was, Sofia’s was small. All she found inside was a little pendant on a leather band. The pendant was silver with some signs on it, Sofia wasn’t sure if they were Asian or something else.   
“It’s Gaelic.” Sara explained before Sofia could ask. “You told me your grandmother was from England and your grandfather from Ireland. I found it in a shop, it’s a Gaelic symbol for safety. A little guardian angel that hopefully brings Lieutenant Lascivious home safe and well every night.”  
“Thanks.” Sofia put the leather band around her neck and turned around. “Could you knot it together?”  
“Sure.” Sara knotted both ends together. “I chained safety around you.”  
“I hope so.” Sofia turned around and looked down. The pendant hung just above her heart. “I’ll try to make the job for your gift not too difficult.”  
“I’d appreciate that.” Sara took Sofia’s hand and pulled her in her arms. “Merry Christmas, Sofia. Again.”  
“Merry Christmas, Sara.” Sofia kissed Sara gently on the cheek. “I’m absolutely happy to spend this day with you. It makes it not only a special day but also a special Christmas. Beside the fact that I’ve got a huge crush on you and you do nothing to stop that – it’s more the opposite – I can’t imagine a better way spending my Christmas holiday than with you and Tobey.” Was it right to mention the huge crush? Well, she told Sara about it last night, no need to deny it. And it wasn’t like she expected Sara anything to do. She was simply happy the brunette didn’t push her away, tried to have some distance between them. Sara held her in her arms, kissed her cheek, was close to her.   
“I am enjoying the day with the two of you. It’s finally a Christmas day that feels like I imagine a Christmas day should be. The spirit of Christmas hit me with you.”  
“I chased away the Grinch in you.”  
“Yes you did.” Sara laughed and held on to Sofia. It was nice having her in her arms.   
“Do you think you could do me a little favor?” Sofia whispered.  
“Depends on the favor.” Sara grinned. Oh, there were a few things Sofia could imagine as favors, but she’d only asked for favors that were possible and fair for Sara.   
“Let me stay tonight. I don’t want to drive home, I want to be with you. Not only because I want to make sure no nightmare will haunt you, but because I’d like to spend the Christmas evening with you. Sitting on the sofa, watching movies and watching you sleeping on my shoulder.”  
“I won’t sleep on your shoulder, we have to work. I’ll send both of us to bed at ten p.m.”  
“I take that as a ‘yes you can stay’.”  
“Yes you can stay. I’ll get up with you tomorrow morning.”  
“You don’t have to.”  
“I know but you’re stay here for me, so I can get up with you. We’re both not the greatest morning people but we can have a coffee before you and your little man go back.”  
“Sounds like the perfect end of Christmas to me. Thanks.”  
“No need to thank me.” Sara released Sofia and bent down to Tobey. “Poor puppy, mommy will kick you out of bed early.”  
Tobey looked up. He had destroyed the whole box and was obviously very happy with his work. 

“That smells like actual food and somecookies?” Sara sniffed the air in her kitchen. Sofia had sent her away with Tobey to have some time to prepare their dinner, which had Sara get into some comments about being a housewife and that Sofia could also use her cleaning skills to do a little spring cleaning in wintertime. Sofia had ignored that.  
“Stay out of my kitchen!”  
“Your kitchen?” Now Sara was amused. It seemed like the housewife in Sofia had taken over the blonde.   
“I’m cooking, it’s my kitchen. Go, dry the baby, have a seat on the couch, watch some TV, keep yourself busy for a few minutes.”  
“Okay.” Sara took Tobey out of the kitchen and rubbed a towel over his short hair. The young dog took this as a sign for playing and soon they were rolling around the floor, fighting for the towel. It made Tobey dry, but Sara’s clothes got wet by the dog hair and the wet towel. She didn’t really care about that. That’s why she had a washing machine and a dryer.   
“You two behave like children.” Sofia had watched them for a few seconds. They both looked very cute rolling and playing on the carpet. She wished she had a video camera to save this moment for later.   
“He is a child.”   
“You’re an adult.”  
“Only on paper.” Sara got up. “There, try to get the towel, I’ll change into something dry.”  
“A dry towel?”  
“Only in your dreams.”  
“In my dreams, you’d wear a wet white t-shirt.”  
“Pervert.” Sara closed the door behind herself and began to strip. Out of the jeans and the jumper into sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt. It was nice when she didn’t have to worry about what to wear. She could simply grab the most comfortable things and be done.  
“Your dinner will be done in five minutes.” Sofia was standing at the window when Sara came back out of the bedroom.  
“Am I allowed to know what it will be?”  
“It’s a surprise.”  
“Alright. You’re very good with surprises - I’m looking forward to eating it.” She joined Sofia at the window. “What do you see?” The blonde busy looking out of the window.   
“Christmas.” Sofia took a step back and Sara saw a winter wonderland. It hadn’t snowed in Fresno, no, it was a personal winter wonderland. A huge poster of a Christmas scenery was hanging in her window, some lights around it and candles in front of it.   
Sara was amazed. “What is that?”   
“That’s Christmas. A real Christmas just for you.”   
“You got me some snow?”  
“Snow, Santa Claus, gifts, the whole kitschy Christmas scene, everything people imagine about Christmas. And I have this.” She gave Sara a cookie.   
“Wow, you baked.” Now Sofia had turned into a housewife. She cooked, she baked and she decorated the apartment.   
“Yes, Christmas needs homemade cookies. And there’s something else Christmas needs.”  
“What?”  
“A Christmas song.”  
“Your CD should still be in the stereo.”  
“No, I mean a real song you sing.”  
“You want me to sing a Christmas song?” Sara was horrified. A Christmas carol? Sofia couldn’t be serious, she must be kidding. Unfortunately her face didn’t look like she was joking.  
“Yes. Come on, you can manage a ‘Silent Night’ or at least a verse or two.”  
“No.”  
“Yes, you can. It’s in the spirit of Christmas and I’ll sing with you.”  
“Damn it, you are serious.”   
“Of course I am. Come on, on three, you know the words, even as a little Grinch.”  
“Why do I have to suffer?”  
“To make your guest happy and no, you’re not sad that I’m still here, you don’t really want me to leave.”  
“You shouldn’t bet on that anymore.”  
“I do. Come on, honey, dig your best Sunday church voice out and let’s sing on three. One, two and three” And Sofia started to sing ‘Silent Night’ which left Sara no other choice but join her; with rolling eyes, but she did.  
What a crazy woman. Singing a Christmas song like they were children and waiting for all the presents their parents had bought. At least Sara thought that was what families do on Christmas Day. Seeing the snow, having home baked cookies, singing songs together and simply being together.   
When Sofia started the second verse she embraced Sara and pulled her close to herself. Sara found Sofia’s hands and held them. Okay, maybe this was nice, maybe this was like a Christmas she always wanted to have. It felt right and it felt complete. Could there be anything left of Christmas that Sofia hadn’t thought of? Would they watch a Christmas movie while they were eating?   
“You didn’t call a poor student to play Santa Claus for us, did you?” She asked after the second verse.   
“Nobut I can do that.”  
“Don’t you dare! I think you covered everything Christmas is about and everything you’re supposed to do, we did. Singing, presents, cookies, winter wonderland, we had the whole package.”  
“Not quite.”  
“What is it that we actually haven’t done?” Sara was a little bit desperate. What was waiting for her now? Could it get worse than singing? Would Sofia drag her to church now? That would be a line Sara wouldn’t cross.   
Without a word Sofia pointed above them. A mistletoe was hanging on the ceiling. Sara was very sure it hadn’t been there when she left her apartment with Tobey. Did Sofia bring all these stuff or did she buy it? No, the shops were closed, she must have had all this stuff in her bag. No wonder her bags had looked like she and Tobey wanted to move in.   
“That’s not as bad as I imagined. I thought you’d drag me to the midnight mass.”  
“Me? Not my business.” Sofia laughed. “Probably I’m not that welcome there either. And we don’t have time for a midnight mass, our dinner is ready to be served. Have a seat, I’ll get you your plate filled with food. You’ll have the full service.”  
“I like that. First breakfast in bed and now I’ll get my dinner served.”  
“A true Christmas fairy.”  
“Yes.”   
Sofia grinned and turned to go to the kitchen. Sara grabbed her hands, pulled her into her arms and kissed Sofia briefly on the lips.   
“There’s your mistletoe tradition, now get me my food. Quick!”   
“Yes ma’am!” Sofia smiled and almost flew back in the kitchen. She bet her ears were deep red and her face too. A kiss. Sara had kissed her. Okay, it was only a hint of a kiss, not even a second long, but hey, their lips had met! Now it was a perfect Christmas and there was no way Sofia would sleep tonight without Sara in her arms. 

Sara put the last plate in her dishwasher. She didn’t know that Sofia was such a good cook. The blonde had managed to get them a real Christmas dinner and even a great dessert and, that was the biggest surprise for Sara, the dessert was chocolate free. A self made caramel pudding. They was it tasted, there were all calories for a whole week inside, but sugar and fat made a dish a real Christmas dish.  
“Shall I shock you and tell you, we need to watch Christmas movies because it’s Christmas Day?” Sofia came with a bottle of wine in the kitchen. The last of her Christmas surprises out of her backpack.   
“We watched them yesterday, today we can watch something else.”  
“Hitchcock?”  
“Alfred is always good and we haven’t finished the DVD box yet.”  
“Even we’re done with that box, there’re a lot of more movies of the master of suspicion available.”  
“Why don’t you put that bottle aside?” Sara asked when Sofia looked for a corkscrew.   
“You don’t feel like wine?”  
“I feel like having a little walk with you and the baby. We all had dinner, I think, it’s time for him to have a walk.”  
“True. Tobey, get your leash, we’ll have a walk!” Sofia put the bottle aside and took Tobey in her arms, who came to her – without his leash.   
“I love you, little puppy. You’re so cute, the west Christmas present I ever made myself. And I can’t wait until it’s summer and we both go to the beach. I’m sure you’re the perfect swimmer, my own lifeguard. And maybe you’ve also some talent for surfing.”  
“More than his mommy?” Sara mocked gently.   
“Shut up, I had only one lesson. One. Somebody, who made me buy a new swimsuit, promised me she’d teach me surfing and nothing happened after that one afternoon. I don’t believe that was because I’ve no talent, I think, she’s just too lazy to teach me and too scared I might be better than her.”  
“Or you’re smug and she doesn’t want to be bothered with you and your arrogance.”  
“I’m self-confident. And you’re a unreliable teacher.”  
“We didn’t have time for another trip to the ocean, the weekend when I was in San Jose, we were busy in the city and when I was there the next time, it was too cold. But there’ll be a new summer next year and if you don’t annoy me, we can go to the beach and I’ll teach you and Tobey how to surf.”  
“We won’t let you out of this, Sara.”  
“I thought so.” Sara got into her coat and took the keys. With Sofia and Tobey she left her apartment and took off to the park. As they had expected, they were the only ones on the road. All the other people were inside, having Christmas dinner with their family, watching a movie, having conversations with family members, they maybe only meet on special occasions like today. In Sara’s eyes that was more Christmas than the gifts and the blinking lights everywhere. Having the people you love around you, celebrating a feast of harmony and love, feeling important, loved and safe. Parents watching their children playing with their new toys, grandparents watching proudly over their children and grandchildren. But what did she know? She never had a Christmas like that with her parents. She didn’t know her grandparents.   
“Sara?”   
Sofia’s voice got her out of her thoughts.   
“Sorry, what did you say? I was somewhere else.” They were in the park, Tobey was running free, chasing his own shadow.   
“Somewhere not nice?” Sofia got her arm around Sara. She had seen her friend was deep in her thoughts and she saw, Sara’s face got darker and darker with every second. She was sure, the brunette didn’t have nice thoughts.   
“I thought of the spirit of Christmas. That we’re out here alone because everybody is at home, celebrating with their family. Big feasts, children, parents, grandparents, all happy that they’re together. The Christmas days are the perfect opportunity to come together with the people you love. And then I realized, I can only assume things like that, I never had a Christmas like that. No loving parents, no grandparents, who came over.”  
“Well, you had a Christmas dinner, you had gifts, you had cookies, Christmas decoration, you even sang a Christmas Carol, there is a sexy black guy, who knows you since two days and is obviously absolutely in love with you. And a smug blonde, who annoys you and every family needs an annoying member, who is always right.”  
“Who thinks, she is always right,” Sara corrected with a little smile. Sofia was right, she had her fantasy Christmas this year. She wasn’t alone. She had decoration, she had cookies and – most important – there was somebody, who wanted to be with her. For whom she was very important, who did everything to spend these days with her, who…loved her. Was in love with her. There was no need to be sad about her past when she had a present, that was just like she always wanted it to be.   
“I’m glad you’re here, Sofia.” Sara stopped and looked at Sofia.  
“I’m glad I’m here. I’m really glad you let me stay.”  
“It would be very stupid to send you away.”  
“Maybe. I’m sure not everybody would let me stay after last night.”  
“Last night should be the best reason to let you stay, Sofia. You were there for me, you took care of me, you saved me from a nightmare.”  
“And I told you things you didn’t want to hear.”  
“I have to say I was – am – not happy, that my file was available for anybody. My past, my private life, is and was nobody’s business. Knowing Ecklie know things about me I don’t want people to know, isn’t something, that makes me feel good.”  
“On top of that I told you I’m in love with you.” Sofia still wasn’t sure if she made a mistake. Sometimes it was better not to tell the whole truth. Sometimes it was better to leave people with a part of the truth.   
“That are two different things. The first thing is bad, the second isn’t.”  
“I’m afraid it will affect our friendship.”  
“Only if we let it affect it.”  
“I hope you know, I’d never do…”  
“Don’t waste your breath to tell me things I already know, Sofia. I trust you. That hasn’t changed. And I hope you’ll be with me tonight, will chase away the nightmare and keep me in your arms, warm and safe.”  
“You’re my CSI, it’s my duty to do so.” Sofia linked her hands with Saras. She was happy the brunette was fine with her feelings, didn’t try to avoid Sofia or pushed her away.   
“I give up telling you, I’m not your CSI anymore, I’ll always be your CSI. Seems like I’m your private property. That makes you my private property.” Sara pulled Sofia in her arms. “Don’t worry, Sofia. I’m really fine with your feelings. In fact, I’m honored. Not everybody can say, that a very sexy and very stunning blonde has a crush on her. There are a lot of people, who would do a lot of things to be in my shoes.”  
“Thanks.”  
“You’re welcome.” Sara got a bit out of Sofia’s arms. “Tobey, come back, we want to go home. Time to get a biscuit and a warm blanket. Come on, boy.” Seconds later the young dog came out of the dark to the women.   
“I told you, he loves you,” Sofia laughed when Tobey dropped himself on the ground in front of Sara, got on his back so that Sara could pet his belly. To Sofia, it looked like her puppy was laughing when he had the attention of the woman. Yes, they both liked Sara a lot.


	2. Chapter 2

January

„Miss Sidle, good morning.“  
“Lieutenant, how are you?” It was weird and great at the same time. Sofia smiled down at Sara, who was standing over a box with evidence. They worked together. Finally. It wasn’t an ordinary crime scene Sara was processing. One of the CSIs in San Jose died and there was evidence, one of his colleagues was the murderer. The chief had stopped all investigations because all of his employees were suspects. Sofia, who caught the case, talked to the chief about an alternative. First they had San Francisco on their mind, but there were too many strings to San Francisco and Sofia mentioned Sara. A CSI from Fresno was not exactly what her boss had in mind but after she told him where Sara had worked before, he picked up the phone, called Sara’s boss and asked him to send her over. Together with another guy from her office Sara had arrived in the morning.   
“I’m supposed to have four days off but I’m caught here. What can I say?” She bent over to be closer to Sara and whispered: “I’m happy we’re working together.”  
“You had to switch your holiday plans? That sucks.”  
“No it’s alright, my companion got a call to work out of town, it would have been boring alone there.” Sofia smiled. Working with Sara had cost her the four days off she was supposed to have now. She would get them later, what made eight days with Sara plus the two days they had spent together before.   
“I’ll be with you the whole case, if you need anything just call me.”  
“Will do. You could bring me to tox.”  
“It will be my pleasure.” Sofia grinned. Yes she would be around Sara a lot. She doubted her friend needed somebody to secure the scene, Sara would be most of the times in the department and when she had to go to the apartment of the victim, Sofia would be by her side.   
“I’ve to talk to your CSI guys later.”  
“I know.”  
“Anything I should know about them?”  
“Frankly I can’t believe anyone of them is guilty, they’re nice people. When somebody came up with the idea, one of them killed Branson, I thought it’s a bad joke. The chief wanted a new CSI team here, so I figured out, it’s not a joke. You’re mad that I told them to call you in?”  
“No.” Sara smiled. “My colleagues can handle Fresno for a while and I think I get used to investigate a murder case in other CSI HQs. First Las Vegas now here.”  
“Well, you know what happened after you investigated in Vegas, you stayed there for eight years. I’ve got some hope it will happen in San Jose too.”  
“No chance. I’ll go back to Fresno. If you want to work with me, you have to come over.” Sara was sure Sofia could get a job in Fresno. Her reputation was good, Sara would use all her influence too and then they could work together again. Sara would investigate and Sofia – to hell with the job description – could detect again.   
“I might consider that, investigator.” Maybe when she ready to do the next step in her career, she would become a captain in Fresno. Another position, another city.   
“Good, lieutenant.”  
“I see you later. Give me a call when you’re ready to go home, I’ll give you a lift.”  
“You know, I can stay in that hotel…” The department would pay for her hotel room, there was no reason why she had to stay at Sofia’s place.   
“Now, why would you do that? Staying in a hotel when you can stay with a good looking charming guy with black hair who adores you more than his toys and the food and a hot blonde?”  
“Will they cook for me?” Sara had problems to stay serious. Good looking black haired guy and a hot blonde? What a couple.   
“Whatever you want.”  
“I’ll call you.”  
“Good luck.”  
“Likewise.”

“I won’t ask you what you find out because this is our quality time.” Sofia opened her front door and got immediately on her knees, hugging Tobey. The young Rottweiler was visible happy to see his owner. After he ‘cleaned’ Sofia’s face he started to do the same with Sara. Not that he hasn’t done that before.   
“Oh Tobey, I had a shower in the morning. You should know that, you stole my towel.” Sara stopped the young dog from licking her face. “I’m still not sure if it was your idea or Sofias. Tell me, did your mommy tell you to do that?”  
“I’d never do that.” Sofia yelled from the kitchen. “If I want you without a towel, I’d tell him to steal it when you’re anywhere else. In the bathroom, surrounded by many other towels, it makes no sense.”  
“I bear that in mind.” Sara got up and placed her bag on the bench.   
“I’ve got the leash.” First they would take a walk with Tobey and then they could worry about their dinner.   
Tobey jumped up, caught the leash and carried it straight to Sara.   
“Okay, I got your statement, young man.” Sofia pulled her hands on her hips. “You want to go out with Sara, that’s alright. Do you guys mind if I come with you?”   
“Nah, that’s alright.” Sara laughed, put the leash on Tobey’s collar “Let’s go.” With Tobey on one side and Sofia on the other, Sara left the apartment. Their destination was a park nearby where Tobey could run and play. The last couple of days they’ve met a lot of other dogs and their owner.   
“Am I allowed to ask what Michelle wanted?” Sara said while they watched Tobey running around.  
“Michelle?” Sofia looked blank. Who was Michelle?   
“Yeah, your ex, who shot me a nice evil look when I left the building to come to you.”  
“Oh Monique.”  
“Michelle, Monique, Monte Carlo, who cares?”  
“Actually nobody.” Sofia laughed. “And yes you’re allowed to ask. She thought I still have the four days off so she wanted to offer me some…help not to get too bored these days. She told me about some interesting toys she bought and what she could do with them and me. I told her I have to work and even if I wouldn’t work I’d have some plans. She wasn’t that happy with my answer and asked, if I would prefer to…share my bed with a dog than with a human.”  
“She doesn’t seem to be a fan of Tobey.”  
“They met once, accidentally in a park. Usually Tobey loves people but as soon as he saw Monique he started to growl and wanted to bite her. So you can say, they don’t like each other.”  
“Dogs are good judges of character.”  
“That explains why he loved you right from the beginning.”  
“He’s a cutie.”  
“You know, people choose dogs that fits to them.”   
“Well, he’s the perfect opposite of you…”  
“Thanks. He’s cute I’m…what?”  
“If you would let finish me you don’t have to whine around. I know how he’ll look later. He’ll be this huge, muscular black dog and you’re on his side, tall, lean, blond, beautiful. The two of you will turn so many heads, you already do. You’re the perfect couple, the black and the beauty.”   
“I let you off this time…you saved your ass.”  
“My ass was never in danger. You’d protect it.”  
“Just like the rest of you.”  
“You’re a good lieutenant.”  
“I know. Hey Tobey.” Sofia whistled to get the Rottweiler’s attention. “Come back boy, time to go home. Dinner time.” Tobey dropped the stick he was playing with and came running back to Sofia, who bent down and hugged her dog. “You’re such a good boy. I love you, little tomboy.” As an answer she got Tobey’s tongue in her face.   
“I guess that means he loves you too.”  
“I feed him of course he loves me.” She got the leash back on the collar and gave the leash to Sara. “Take him, he loves you too.”  
“Aren’t we are loving group?”  
“Depends. Do you love me?” Sofia smirked.  
“If you feed me, maybe.”  
“I told you, I’ll cook dinner for you. That means your love is mine.”  
“Depends again. On what you’re cooking.”  
“I was thinking of pasta with spinach and egg.”  
“Interesting combination.”  
“We can sprinkle some cheese on top, it’s lovely. I cook it quite often, it’s fast, it’s healthy and easy to make.”  
“The perfect reasons why it should be our dinner.”  
“We can enjoy it with a movie.”  
“I can’t fall asleep on the sofa this time, we have to work tomorrow.”  
“I’ll wake you up.”  
“Just don’t let me sleep.”  
“Why? When you’re sleeping I can hold you in my arms again. I like it when you sleep on my shoulder.”  
“That’s something for winter holidays.”  
“Talking about winter holidays. What do you think you going to Tahoe again? Only for two or three days, depends on how long our bosses will send us away after this case. Tobey has never been in deep snow.”  
“Why Tahoe? Let’s just go up in the mountains, not Tahoe, too many people at this time of the year, you won’t have the chance to let Tobey run free.”  
“That’s fine with me too.”  
“We’ll see how long this case will take.”  
“You’re on it, it will be solved by the end of the week. The best CSI in the world is working on it, what can go wrong?”  
“A lot. Change the topic now, it’s after work time.”  
“You’re serious about not talking about the case, aren’t you?”  
“Yes. I need some time out from it, the new Sara needs her case free time.”  
“I have to say I really like this new Sara.” Sofia smirked coy. 

“Oh my God, what happened to you?” Sara jumped practically from the sofa when Sofa entered the apartment. They didn’t go home together, Sara was at the apartment of the dead CSI while Sofia got called to an emergency call only a few blocks away. They never reunited, Sara had her own key and could come and go whenever she wanted. When she finished and Sofia hadn’t been around, she thought, she might be stuck somewhere with witnesses and paper work, so Sara took Tobey from the basement of the department and went home with him. This way he got his evening walk too.  
Now, one hour after Sara and Tobey came home, Sofia was back and she looked like a train had ran her over. A big black eye, bruises, and a scratch on her arm became visible when the lieutenant pulled of her jacket. Her blouse was torn and had some blood on it, obviously Sofia’s blood.  
“You should see the other one.” Sofia tried to joke.   
“What did happen?” Sara took Sofia’s arm and brought her to the sofa. “Are you alright? Shall I bring you to the ER? Do you need something?”  
“A beer, food and your company.”  
“That’s not funny.” It took Sara a lot not to get angry. Sofia looked like she was serious injured.   
“I’m not joking.” The blonde dropped her legs on the table, pet Tobey’s head and closed her eyes. She was alright, so far.   
“When I came to the scene they called me in to, there was a fight. Some street gang tried to beat the two officers and instead of being impressed by my gun, they came after me. Luckily the backup was there fast, we got most of them.”  
“Are you alright?” Sara still hadn’t got a proper affirmation that nothing serious had happened to Sofia.  
“Yes, I’m fine. A black eye, some bruises and this scratch. Nothing more, a paramedic took care of me, no need for the ER. I feel a little bit like hit by a train, that’s it.”  
“You look like hit by a train.”  
“I’ll be fine tomorrow. Can you take care of Tobey? I’m not sure if I can make a long walk with him today.”  
“We walked back from the department, he had his dinner, he’s fine.”  
“Thanks for that.”  
“That was nothing.” Sara went to the fridge and got a beer out for Sofia. “Did you get any medicine?”  
“Yes I got some pain killer and no, I didn’t take them. I won’t mix beer and medicine, I promise.”  
“Good.” Sara gave Sofia the beer. “You stay here I have fixed us some dinner. Tobey and me went shopping.”  
“What did you buy?”  
“All the things we needed for a vegetarian lasagne. It should be cooked in a few minutes.”  
“Sounds good. Can I have a little tiny piece of chocolate?”  
“What did I tell you about candies and dinner?”  
“Did I ever not eat what you’ve cooked?”  
“No, you didn’t.” Sara grinned.   
“See, I told you, I can eat dinner after candy.”  
“One little piece.” Sara got some chocolate out of the cupboard and gave it to Sofia.  
“That’s not a piece, that’s a…a nothing.” Sofia starred at the little piece of chocolate in her hand.  
“Take it or leave it.”  
“You’re brutal.” That was worse than the beating of the gang.   
“I know.” Sara went back to the oven and checked on the lasagne.   
“Did Tobey behave?”  
“He was a treasure. We met Mich…Monique. She wasn’t that happy seeing me with him. I think she’s jealous.”  
“Do me a favor and let her think we’re a couple, she might stop annoying me then.”  
“I’m living with you at the moment, by just not saying anything she’ll think that.”  
“I hope so.” A few more meeting like that and Monique would think Sara had moved in with Sofia after only a couple of weeks. Sara got that, was Monique always wanted, it must really piss her ex off to see that. That idea brought a smile in Sofia’s face. Just for being that bitchy to Sara when they met the first time in the restaurant, Monique deserved so much more.   
Sara got the lasagne out and began to cut two big pieces that she dropped on two plates. Together with a new bottle of beer she carried everything to the sofa.   
“Mylady, you’re dinner.”  
“Thanks James.” Sofia took the plate. “So, what is in it? In the lasagne?”  
“Broccoli, peas, carrots, corn, cauliflower and a lot of cheese. I know you love it greasy.”  
“I do, yes.” Sofia closed her eyes. Who would have thought a vegetarian lasagne could be that good? She didn’t miss the meat, the taste was irresistible.   
“You don’t want any beer?” Sofia asked Sara.   
“No, I’m fine.”   
“Mhm.” Sofia got up.  
“Wait, what do you want? I can get it for you.”  
“Stay there, my feet are alright, I’m not ill, only a little bit …my ego has a bigger scratch than my arm, okay?”  
“Okay.” Sara had to smile. Yes, she could imagine that Sofia’s ego had a bad day. Coming to the department with a black eye, going to the paramedics, not exactly what superwoman would do.  
“Here.” She gave Sara a glass.  
“What’s that?”  
“An alcohol free cocktail. You don’t have to drink water with our dinner while I enjoy a beer and if you don’t want any alcohol, you deserve a good replacement.”  
“Thanks.” Sara smiled and tried her drink. Very fruity, very nice. She didn’t know Sofia could mix cocktails. But it was a nice alternative for alcohol, they drank too much when they were together and with the knowledge that her father was an alcoholic, Sara didn’t want beer to become a habit. She had fought that demon years ago and after she got caught driving under the influence of alcohol, she had learnt her lesson.   
“Chocolate.” It was more a statement than a question. Sofia got up, took the empty plates, left them in the sink to soak some water and got her big bowl of candies.   
“You won’t eat all tonight, will you?” Sara looked at the big bowl.  
“First of all, it would be us eating them and second no, I don’t intend to eat them all today.”  
“Good.” Sara took some candy. “Sofia?” Her voice let Sofia immediately forgetting about candies.   
“Yes?”  
“Please don’t do that again.”  
“What?”  
“Don’t ever scare me again like today. Don’t…” Sofia took Sara in her arms. The investigator was trembling.   
“Shh, it’s alright, nothing happened to me. Come on, the black eye will look pretty cool when we go out for a walk with Tobey. Everybody will know they can’t mess around with us.”  
“Don’t try to stop a brutal gang again when there’s no backup. You know what happened to Greg, you know what happened to the man in the casino, they don’t stop when you’re bleeding, they kill you. I don’t want to loose you.”  
“You won’t loose me, honey.” Sofia held Sara even tighter. What could she do to make Sara happy again? She didn’t want her to be like this. “I promise I take care of me, the pendant you gave will take you me. You won’t loose me.” She kissed Sara’s hair. “Don’t cry, everything is alright.”  
“I was so scared when I saw all your injuries.” This trembling voice broke Sofia’s heart.   
“Hey, I walked here, it couldn’t be too bad.”  
“I know but in that moment…I couldn’t think straight.”  
“I could have called you but telling you I’m with the paramedics is nothing that will make you feel comfortable. I thought if I come here you’d see everything is alright, that’s why I didn’t call you. I didn’t want you to be afraid.”  
“I’m always afraid when you’re on duty.”  
“Why? I’m the best lieutenant in town.”  
“I see your ego is back in the ring, Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“Sure, if my ego is down it’s never for a long time.”  
“A too strong superego isn’t healthy.”  
“I need one, my Id is quite strong too. It’s all for a healthy balance.”  
“That’s why you got veggies for dinner because I knew you’d have chocolate again.”  
“You can choose, I can eat chocolate or I’ll have a bite of you.”  
Sara had to laugh and pushed Sofia gently away. “Get your chocolate.”  
“What a pity, I really liked my alternative.” She was happy that Sara smiled again. She knew, offering her to be her dessert would make Sara smile.   
“I bet you do. As I told you, I’m not that easy to have.”  
“The last time you said that I had you in your bed, in my arms, only five seconds later.”  
“Your bed is far away and I just left your arms. What does your ego do with that?”  
“It will fall into pieces and cry all night long. Or I repair it with chocolate.” Sofia took a big bite from a hazelnut bar. 

“The case is closed; at least for me.” Sara sat on Sofia’s couch, bending down to rub his belly. When she hit a spot, the puppy was ticklish, he started to move his legs, trying to kick the hand away.   
“Means what?” Sofia came out of the kitchen with a glass of juice.   
“Means I could proof, that none of your CSI guys is the killer, they can go on with the investigation.”  
“Let me guess: you left them clues to close the case by tomorrow.”  
“Yes. Everything point to a man, who isn’t with the SJPD. They have him in at the moment. Looks like we’re both off work.”  
“Some days off – finally!”   
“You should have taken the last four days off, you’re injured.”  
“Some little bruises.”  
“Scratches, you were…”  
“Don’t start it again, Sara. I’m fine. No need to worry.”  
“I did worry. Now I’ll always worry when you’re working.”  
“I’ll be fine, I’m a lieutenant, I know what I do. Worry about my CSI, she needs somebody, who takes care of her.”  
“I had a shadow on my way back to you.”  
“Somebody followed you? Did you call the cops?” Sofia jumped up, walked to her window. Was there somebody watching? She lived on the second floor, high enough to make it difficult for people to look inside or come inside, but impossible.   
“No, I didn’t want to embarrass you.”  
“Embarrass me? Sara, when somebody…”  
“It was…Miche...Monique.”  
“What?” Sofia didn’t believe that. Sara must be kidding her. Why was her ex following her?   
“I guess, she wanted to make sure, I don’t go to your place. I bet she wasn’t happy when she saw I entered this house with my own keys. Your ex is jealous.”  
“Sounds more like she’s nuts. Did she harass you? Say anything? Did something?” Sofia wouldn’t hesitate to talk to her boss about Monique, if she made Sara feel uncomfortable in any kind of way. As long as she annoyed Sofia, the blonde could handle that, but if her ex started to harass Sara, she crossed a line.   
“No, she didn’t talk to me, kept a distance of around twenty yards. Probably thought, I didn’t notice her.”  
“I’ll talk to her, she does that again, she’ll be in trouble.”  
“The whole department will know about the two of you after that.”  
“I don’t care but I know she’ll care.”  
“She’s ashamed of you?”  
“She doesn’t want to put up with the comments.”  
“You like your private life private, Sofia.”  
“I do. But sometimes you have to make small sacrifices. Don’t worry, she’ll stop as soon as she realizes, I’m serious. Stupid bitch.”  
“She wants you back.”  
“She’ll never get me back. The moment I told her it’s over, it felt like a huge rock dropped of me and I felt released. She was suffocating me.”  
“Maybe you’re not made for close relationships, lieutenant. Maybe you need to have the attention of a lot of people and being forced to be only the woman of one person, makes you feel like a tiger in a cage. The cage of relationships versus the great, wide freedom. Having a dozen people adoring you and not only one.”  
“I’m absolutely fine in a relationship as long as I’m allowed to be myself. In fact, I like being involved, I like to come home to somebody, to know, there’s somebody, who waits for me. But I can’t handle people, who try to be with me every second, who try to plan my life and don’t listen to the things I say. And I can’t stand it when people tell me, they know what’s good for me. It’s my life, my decisions, I know best what’s good for me. Nobody else.”  
“So when I say, come here, sit down, I put on a movie for us, we have a cozy evening on the couch, you’ll enjoy that, you’ll tell me to shut up and that I’m wrong?”  
“You say that because you know, these are things I like. You know that because I told you, I like these things. You don’t try to convince me things I told you, I don’t want or like, are good for me because you know, they are good for me.”  
“No. I believe, you know what you want and what you like.”  
“There’s the difference. Anyway, another topic please. I’d love to come back to the part with the movie and the couch, but I think, we should have something to eat first and Tobey wants a little walk after his dinner too. Can we have the movie later?”  
“First the baby.”  
“We walk the baby, get some take-away?”  
“Sounds good. We take the park further away, you told me, there’s a good Italian restaurant. You play with the puppy, I get us some food, come back to you and we go home?”  
“Sounds perfect to me.” They fed Tobey and left the apartment. The wind was cold and the sky looked like there was rain for the night. Not the perfect weather for their days off. They had thought of going to the beach with Tobey for a day, a picnic, walks in the sand. There was no way they’d do that in the cold January rain. With the wind, it was freezing and there was no shelter on the beach.   
Sofia flinched before she rolled her eyes when somebody stepped in her way.   
“So you’re side dish lives with you?”  
“What do you want, Monique?” Sofia got herself between Sara and Monique. She remembered Sara’s comment in the restaurant after Sofia told her about Monique and felt like hugging Sara, because the brunette was cool with everything. Sara had said, she had to make sure, her jealous ex wasn’t around because she didn’t want to get hit on the head with something.   
“I wonder what is special of her? Can’t be the hair, it has no real color, looks boring. Not to mention her teeth, there are way to fix them, just by way. You went from me, a model to her, a…well…low level average woman. I don’t think it’s the sex, our sex was pretty amazing, you were never bored. Or is she a professional? Knows all the dirty tricks, can…”  
“You better stop right there, Monique. And if you don’t want me to hurt you, you’ll never ever say anything like that again. Leave Sara alone.”  
“She can’t talk for herself?”  
“She can, don’t worry. But I tell you, if you don’t leave her alone, I’ll talk to our boss. I don’t care if the whole department will know about us. I’ll talk to him and file a complain. I’m sure he doesn’t like when you harass and offend a law enforcement member, he asked to come to San Jose.”  
“You won’t do that.”  
“If you think I won’t, you don’t know me at all. Leave her alone, better, leave us alone. It’s enough when we have to see each other at work, I don’t want to see or talk to you when I’m off duty. Understand?”  
Monique looked at Sofia, trying to figure out if the blonde was lying or telling the truth. There was nothing but firm determination in Sofia’s eyes.   
“Fuck me.” Monique turned and walked away.   
“No, thanks. Been there, done that, don’t want to have that again,” Sofia mumbled.   
“I wonder why I am a side dish. Is there somebody, I don’t know of, Sofia? Are you hiding a lover?” Sara asked sweet.  
“One? Seven. For every day another one.” Sofia shook her head. “I don’t know, maybe she sees herself still as my lover, so you can only be a side dish. But that she has problems with her eyes is obvious.”  
“Is it`”  
“Yeah. She doesn’t see how beautiful you are.”  
“Well…”  
“Not well, Sara. You are. This wonderful smile…”  
“The gap.”  
“I told you before, I think, it’s very sexy. Makes your smile special, I like special things.”  
“And I thought it’s the sex. Me, as a professional, must be perfect in bed.”  
“The few times I had you in bed, I can’t complain about. I was always very happy and satisfied. Especially when I woke up with you in my arms or was in your arms. Makes me a very happy woman every time. But I’m afraid, that’s something she won’t understand.”  
“She told you about her new toys.”  
“And didn’t impress me a bit. You can have a whole sex shop, if you don’t have a deep love relationship to your partner, all your toys are useless. I don’t think there’s anything, that makes you happier than sex with a person you love, who loves you.”  
“Looks like the flirty lieutenant is a romantic,” Sara smiled softly.   
“Don’t tell anybody, I’ve a reputation to lose.”  
“I won’t, don’t worry. Romantic and Lieutenant Lascivious don’t fit together.”   
“Shut up.” Sofia pulled an arm around Sara’s waist and pulled her closer to herself. She didn’t need Sara to tease her with names a criminal gave her. What would her mother say when she heard, her daughter got called ‘Lieutenant Lascivious’ by a repeater? 

“How is your arm?”   
“Sara if you ask me once more how whatever is, I gonna put something in your mouth to shut you up. I’m fine, the black eye is gone, the scratch is barely visible and there’s no bruise left on me. Relax, be happy your case is over and we’ve a day off tomorrow.” Sofia rolled her eyes. There was no need for Sara to be so concerned about Sofia’s well being. It has been five days that she had been beaten up by a street gang, she was fine.   
“I can still see a rest of your black eye.”  
“Only because you know it was there. The rest is under make up and nobody will ever know I had a fight.”  
“We go home if you get a headache.”  
“The only reason why I’d get a headache is because you’re overprotecting.”  
“I’m concerned.”  
“You don’t have to I’m alright, I’ll be the whole evening by your side, you will see that nothing will happen to me.”  
“I hope so.”  
“I know so.” Sofia rolled her eyes again, took Sara’s hand and pulled her in the bar. They were out to see Felix live. Sara had the weekend, after she heard Felix the first time, talked to a friend of hers in Fresno. The man owned a bar in San Jose too and she knew he had sometimes live music. Sara had talked him into giving Felix a contract, so that the young man could play once a week to get enough money for his rent. Ed, the bar owner, had trusted Sara that Felix was good and he wasn’t disappointed when he heard Felix the first time. His voice was rough when he was singing old rock classic and soft when he sang a ballade. Add to that, he was cute and most of the girls and women came to the bar just to see him.   
“Lieutenant Lascivious and Investigator Incredible, what a pleasure to see you.” Felix jumped from the stage to greet the women.   
“Felix, don’t waste your energy on sucking up, keep it for the music” Sofia grinned.   
“I love it when you’re telling me what to do. I wish you’d do that under other circumstances too.”  
“Only in your dirty dreams.”  
“They are full of you and your sexy cuffs. Sara, how are you? You look good. I heard you worked last week here. Are you bored in Fresno?”  
“No, they needed a good CSI who wasn’t with the SJPD or SFPD. Sofia brought up my name and I ended up here.”  
“She wanted the best, she got the best.”  
“Now she’s in my ears with changing jobs.”  
“I’m on her side, I’d like to have you here, but I can understand when you don’t want to leave Fresno. If it’s really important to her to work with you, she can move to Fresno.”  
“Thanks Felix.” Sara smiled winning.   
Sofia gave Felix the evil eyes. “Your chances were already small, now they’re gone.”  
“I’ll make it up with a song. What would you like to hear?”  
“You can’t make that up anymore.”  
“We’ll see.” Felix grinned and jumped back on stage.   
“What would you like to drink?” Sofia asked.  
“I’m pretty sure they’ve got my favorite non alcoholic cocktail here, I gonna order for us. What do you want?”  
“Same as you.”  
“No beer?”  
“Nope, I wanna try this cocktail.”  
“Okay.” Sara went to the bar and asked for her cocktail. She didn’t get disappointed, the waiter knew the cocktail. They had the same drinks as the bar in Fresno, even a bigger selection. With two cocktails Sara came back to Sofia, who was in a conversation with a guy. Sara bit on her lips not to laugh. It didn’t take more than five minutes to have the first interested guy at Sofia’s side.   
“Cocktail.”  
“Oh thanks.” Sofia’s eyes said also a big thank you for being back. “What’s that?” The man completely out of her mind she looked at a piece of chocolate on her glass.”  
“Oh I told the guy you’re a chocoholic so he switched the fruits for chocolate.”  
“Crazy people.”  
“All for your pleasure.”  
“Thanks.”   
Felix began to start a song. With him were a man on the drums and a woman on the keyboards.   
“Wanna dance?” The man asked Sofia.  
“Sure she wants.” Sara took Sofia’s cocktail, ignored the angry look and pushed Sofia towards the man.   
“Lay where you're layin', don't make a sound, I know they're watchin', they're watchin'. All the commotion, the kiddie-like play has people talkin', talkin'. You, your sex is on fire. The dark of the alley, the breakin' of day, the head while I'm drivin', I'm drivin'. Soft lips are open, knuckles are pale, feels like you're dyin', you're dyin'. You, your sex is on fire. Consumed with what's to transpire.”   
Sara smiled. She liked that song. Relaxed with the two cocktails in her hands she watched Felix singing and playing guitar.   
After the song was over Sofia came to her.  
“Don’t ever do that again!”  
“What? He just wanted to dance.”  
“Sure. He tried to talk me into leaving the bar with him, he would know a great hotel not far away. He isn’t into dancing, he wants to get laid.”  
“No more dancing gentleman in this place. What a shame. Chocolate?”  
Sofia grumbled something and took her cocktail.   
“Felix is really good.”  
“I know, I saw him a few times. His voice is good. Maybe I’ll rent a studio for a day and force him to sing all my favorite songs so that I’ve them on CD.”  
“Expensive CD.”  
“But very special. Until that day a recording with my mobile or the digital camera will do.” Sofia finished her drink.  
“Wanna dance?”  
“Okay. Until the next guy tries to get you into his…arms.”  
“I’m gonna kick his ass.”  
“Bad ass cop.”  
“Oh yeah…. oh wow! I love this song! Come on!” Sofia grabbed Sara’s hand and dragged her in front of the stage.   
“I'm coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta, gotta be down because I want it all. It started out with a kiss how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss. Now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cab while he’s having a smoke and she’s taking a drag. Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick and it’s all in my head. But she’s touching his chest. Now, he takes off her dress. Now, let me go. I just can’t look its killing me and taking control. Jealousy, turning saints into the sea swimming through sick lullabies hoking on your alibis but it’s just the price I pay destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes ‘cause I’m Mr. Brightside.”   
“I feel sorry for this guy. I know his problem.”  
“You know his problem? I thought you get them all. Who said no to you?” Sara laughed.   
“You.”  
“Oh come on.”  
“And some other…they were stupid…missing me out.”  
“I’m sure there are more people interested in you and sent them away than the other way around.”  
“Maybe.”   
“See.”   
“Doesn’t matter my ego suffers.”  
“Poor thing.” Sara hugged Sofia.   
“Yes, feel sorry for me and hug me. That way the guy on the far left will stay away.”  
“Oh, you’ve got already the next one? You’re busy tonight.”  
“I’m not interested tonight.”  
“What a pity for them. Next week.”  
“Next week doesn’t look good either.”  
“What happened?”  
Sofia just looked at Sara. Wasn’t it obvious what had happened? Sara had happened. Sofia had no interest in anybody since she had found out, it was Sara who she wanted. Why should she give in to somebody she didn’t want, to somebody who wasn’t on her mind? It was not like she had no interest in anybody specific, not like the time she went out just to find somebody for the evening, she had somebody, but then again, she didn’t have that somebody. But Sara was there and Sofia wouldn’t miss out being with her for a guy or a girl she wasn’t interested in.   
“I’ve got all I need here.”  
“Don’t miss out just because of me.”  
“I can’t miss anything out when you’re here.”  
Sara smiled and turned, taking Sofia’s hand for a dance.   
They danced so much, Sofia couldn’t remember the last time she danced so much on one evening. At one point she even gave in and let Felix drag her on the stage. They played a fast version of Madonna’s “Dress me up” and she and Felix danced together to that song while he was singing.   
“I knew I’d get you” he whispered after the song finished.  
“That’s all you’ll get.”  
“All that I wanted. Dancing with a sexy woman, that will spice up my dreams for the next couple of weeks.”  
“You should get somebody else in your dreams.”  
“Why should I take somebody else? I’ve got a first class woman in my mind, why replacing it with a second choice?”  
Sofia smiled and kissed him on the cheek. She could understand what he was talking about. She thought the same.   
“The two of you are a cute couple.” Sara grinned after Sofia was back down with her.  
“I told him that was all he’ll ever get.”  
“Let me guess, he’s happy with that.”  
“Yes he is. Where’s your guy?” Sara had been dancing for a few minutes with a man while Sofia was on stage.  
“He’s getting something to drink. You know, while you were on stage there were some very interesting comments down here, your ego might love them.”  
“My ego loves everything that makes it bigger.”  
“They definitely would. Hottest chick in the club.”  
“Who said that?”  
“The lady in red.” Sara pointed a finger to a woman who was standing a few yards away.   
“She doesn’t look too bad either.”  
“She’s interested.”  
“That makes it too easy, no challenge.” Sofia cocked her head. If she wanted somebody easy she would have said yes to Monique’s offer. Or to the man earlier this evening. She didn’t want it easy she wanted who she wanted.   
“Oh, I love this song” Sara’s face became one big smile. She recognized this song as soon as she heard the drums and the keyboard.   
“It’s Romeo who’s bleeding but you can’t see his blood. There’s nothing but some feelings that this old dog kicked up.” Felix was singing with his eyes closed.   
“Wanna dance?”  
“Your guys is on his way back, shouldn’t you ask him?”  
“I asked you.” Sara smiled.   
“My pleasure.” Sofia embraced Sara and laid her head on her shoulder. She wouldn’t miss out the change to hold Sara tight in her arms and this song was made for holding her very close in her arms.   
“And I will love you Baby – always. I’ll be there forever and a day – always. I’ll be there when the stars don’t shine…”  
“Last chance, he’s still around. You sure want to miss out the chance?” Sofia whispered in Sara’s ears.  
Sara got a little bit out of Sofia’s arms so that she could look into the eyes of the blonde.   
“Missing a chance? I won’t miss out a chance, I’m gonna take it.” She pulled Sofia’s face gently to hers and kissed her softly.   
It took Sofia a second to understand what was going on. Sara kissed her. She had made the first step. Sara wanted to kiss her and she…Sofia got herself together and responded the kiss. She kissed Sara back! Sofia was sure this was her favorite song now.  
“See I took the chance” Sara smiled after their lips were apart. “Couldn’t risk missing it.”  
“There was never a danger you might miss it.”  
“Mhm, don’t know. Too many people wanna be in my shoes.”  
“You’re the only one I want.”  
“I hope so. Open relationships are nothing for me.”  
“There’s no way I’d risk that somebody else can kiss you.” Relationship? Did Sara really say relationship? Did that mean, Sofia would have her chance? This wasn’t only a joke for Sara? A little fun for a night. She considered Sofia as a partner, as somebody she would share her life, the whole life if Sofia could make the choice or at least a part of her life. Could it be that they became a ‘we’?   
“At least Tobey will be happy with your choice.”  
“Yes he will.” Sofia pulled Sara back in her arms. She wouldn’t miss out holding Sara close to herself when she had the chance. Even if it seems like she could hold Sara for the rest of the night in her arms, Sofia didn’t want to miss a second of having Sara close.   
She had Sara. She had no idea how she had changed the mind of the investigator, what she did to catch Sara’s heart but she swore, she’d do the same thing all over again. Sara in her arms. Sara’s lips on hers. Wham. The feeling of Sara’s lips on Christmas had been incredible, even if they had met Sofia’s lips for less than a second, now she had Sara’s lips on hers for a long time and it was even better. She wouldn’t let her go.   
“Wanna go home?” Sara whispered in Sofia’s ear. All what the lieutenant could do was nodding. Of course she wanted to go home. Home meant holding Sara for the rest of the night in her arms, sharing a bed, falling asleep next to her, it couldn’t get any better.   
They turned around, found Felix’ eyes and the smile he sent them, said he saw them kissing. He blinked once to say good night to them.   
Sara and Sofia smiled, waved shortly and left the bar. It was time for some privacy. 

“Now would be the time to tell me with one of your smug smiles that you’ve always known I’d be yours one day.” Sara placed her head on Sofia’s chest, listening to the heartbeat of the blonde. They were back in Sofia’s apartment, had taken Tobey out for a quick walk and then there was nothing that could stop them from endless kissing that ended up in Sofia’s bed.   
“Why would I lie to you?” Sofia caresses softly Sara’s hair. She was where she wanted to be. She was in bed with Sara, she had her in her arms. She could touch her skin, she could kiss her. A dream came true. And she hadn’t seen it. She didn’t get the hints Sara had given her. Ignoring the guy, testing if Sofia would take chances with other people. Sara had made her decision and this decision had Sofia surprised.   
“You wanna tell me you didn’t know?”  
“Sara, I’d never dared to dream of having you in my arms this way. I mean, you were with Grissom, it seemed to me, you’ve got no interests in women. You never seemed to search for my near, at least not in Vegas and later…I thought, it’s friendship. I told you I’m in love with you Christmas and you didn’t say or do anything. After that I was sure, all you feel for me is friendship and that was okay with me. I mean I know it wouldn’t be easy to hold back but you made it easy for me. When I was flirting you didn’t tell me off, you didn’t withdraw or tried to avoid me, you were teasing me in a lovely way. That made it easier for me.”  
“I like teasing you.”  
“Likewise.” Sofia wrapped her legs around Sara. Skin on skin never felt that good. She wanted to be forever naked with Sara in bed, feeling her lover’s skin. There was nothing that could compare to that.   
“You’re caught now.”  
“I can feel that. God, do your legs end? I mean they looked already endless in your jeans but now they’re like…longer than endless.”  
“You checked out my legs? I knew it.” Sofia grinned.  
“Honey, they’re endless, as I said, it’s impossible not to see them.”  
“So you kissed me because of my legs?”  
“No.”  
“I know you’re not supposed to asked why when you’ve got all you want, you’re supposed to shut up and enjoy it, but I’m too curious. It’s the job, I’ve to…investigate everything.”  
“You’re not a CSI anymore.”  
“A part of me will always be.”  
Sara moved her head to Sofia’s shoulder so that she could see into the ice blue eyes of her lover. Lover. Sofia was her lover now. The blond lieutenant, the former csi Sara had hated once for flirting with Grissom. The detective Sara had teased and had learnt to work with. The lieutenant who became her friend.   
“If you dare to mess around with me, I know more than 1000 ways to let a body vanish without a trace and I know as many ways to let you die a painful death as well.” Sara’s voice was serious when she looked into Sofia’s eyes. It was supposed to be a joke and a warning at the same time.   
“I’d never cheat on you, Sara.” Sofia kissed Sara’s nose softly. “Not only because you’re more than a lover, you’re my friend but also because I’ve got some self respect. Betraying the one I’m involved with, is a lack of character and my ego is way too big to let me do something like that.”  
“I knew there’s a good side of your ego.” Sara laid her arm around Sofia’s waist.   
Not entire done with this topic, Sofia turned Sara’s face back to her own so that she could see the brown eyes. It was important to her that Sara would know, that what Sofia was about to say, was true.   
“Sara, I’d never do anything that’d hurt you.”  
“I know.” She snuggled herself closer to Sofia. “And to answer your question: I fell for you because you didn’t try to force me into something. You never tried to do anything I didn’t want. After you told me what you feel for me, you wanted to leave me alone, you wanted to give me time and space. When I asked you to stay you stayed. You didn’t take advantage of my situation, you didn’t try to use my weakness for yourself. You held me in your arms, did exactly what I needed, no matter what you wanted or needed.”  
“I did exactly what I wanted and needed. I wanted to hold you, I wanted you to know I’d be there for you, I needed you to feel safe.”  
“I always feel safe when you’re with me.”  
“Good.”  
“And I know even when you don’t ask me things about my private life, it doesn’t mean you’re not interested, you just give me time to find the right moment for myself to tell you.”  
“I want to know everything about you, Sara. But we’ve got the rest of our life for that, there’s no need to rush. I want to have a lot more evenings with you, want to fall asleep next to you for the next seventy or so years and want to wake up with you just that often.”  
“Does that mean one of us has to give up her job?” Sara smiled. That would be the only problem with their relationship. Around 100 miles between Fresno and San Jose.   
“One day it might come to this decision, but not now. I want to spend as much time with you as possible but I know our jobs are very important for us. Who knows, maybe we’ll end up both in another city? There’s no need to make a decision now. I don’t expect you to leave Fresno but I can’t promise you that I’ll leave San Jose soon.” But if she had to make a decision between Sara and her job, she’d choose Sara. There were hundreds of jobs around, but there was only one Sara in the entire world. Her Sara.   
“Fair enough. I don’t expect you to leave your job like I won’t tell you I’ll leave mine to come here. As you said, time will show us what will happen. Until then I’ll be more than happy to come over whenever I’ve got a day or two off.”  
“Ditto. Tobey and me will visit you a lot.”  
“You’ll get your key the next time you’re there. My spare one is at home and I don’t want to open my door in an unconventionally way. I bet you did that when you left me your key.”  
“I know some tricks how to open doors, why not use them?” Sofia smiled.   
“I thought people on the other side of the law use these skills.”  
“If you know their tricks you can stop them from coming in.”  
“I guess whoever opens your door uninvited will leave immediately when Tobey smiled at him or her.”  
“Yes.” Sofia searched her room for a sign of the young Rottweiler. Tobey was nowhere to see. Probably he was asleep as it was the middle of the night.   
“Do I still get my breakfast delivered to bed or was that just a trick to get me in your bed?” Sara giggled.   
“That depends on how nice you are to me.”  
“Really?” She kissed Sofia’s neck softly, from the shoulder up to the ear and back. Sara could feel the tension, how Sofia’s body responds on every kiss. It was a great thing to see and feel. The usually so smug, arrogant and in control lieutenant was like butter in the sun in her hands. Without any effort Sara could make Sofia do whatever she wanted to do. Every little kiss showed Sara a big response from her lover, showed her, Sofia did not only care for her, she was in love with her.   
“How nice am I so far?”  
“I’d say a big breakfast in bed is yours tomorrow morning.”  
“Good.” Sara pulled her left arm under the pillow, where Sofia’s head laid, the right arm still on Sofia’s waist, she laid her head on Sofia’s shoulder, snuggling close to her. “I’ll be hungry.”  
“I’ll wake you up with coffee if you give me the chance to be awake before you are.” Sofia kissed Sara gently and pulled her arm around the brunette. That was a good way to fall asleep, having Sara in her arms and nothing between them; not even clothes.   
No matter that there had been nights Sofia was allowed to hold Sara in her arms, this time was different. This time Sara wasn’t in her arms as a friend, who needed some comfort, this time Sara was her lover, who wanted to be in her arms because of her, because she wanted to be close to the one she was in love with. It wasn’t a friendship anymore, it was a relationship. Sofia was sure, there was no way she could be happier than right now.   
She had Sara and no matter how happy she felt right now, Sofia knew she’d need some time to realized what really happened. Probably in one or two days she’d scare the people around her with a loud yell of joy because she realized she and Sara were a couple. Right now she knew it but didn’t realized it. 

When Sara woke up she needed a second to realize where she was. This wasn’t the couch, she slept on the last nights, this was Sofia’s bed. She was in Sofia’s bed, she was naked and she could feel the blonde next to her. One arm was casually laid on Sara’s waist, keeping the contact. She had slept with Sofia. And she didn’t regret it, she wanted it. But she was still amazed by it herself. How did that happen? How and why did she give in?   
Sofia had told her on Christmas Day, that she was in love with Sara. Something, the brunette didn’t expected to hear, after a few moments thinking of it, it wasn’t so unusual. She should have thought something like that, by the way Sofia behaved around her. It had been very obvious in Tahoe, Sara had been only too blind to see it.   
So what made her kissing Sofia? How did she end up here? After Sofia left on Boxing Day in the early morning, Sara had time to think about the Christmas days, the things, she and Sofia had talked about, the things, that had happened. The nightmare, Sofia got her out of. The fact, that the blonde knew some parts of her past, that she had the file, but put it away to not invade Sara’s private life. She didn’t judge Sara after she heard the whole story, she didn’t tell her, she was sorry, she didn’t tell her, everything would be alright. She was simply there, held her, offered to chase the nightmares away.   
That was when it hit Sara. She didn’t have to ask if Sofia was in love with her, she knew it, she could feel in that very moment. But she asked and she got an honest answer. An answer, the blonde didn’t want to give her in the first place, because she was scared to destroy their friendship.   
These things didn’t explain why Sara ended up here. Not quite. She had missed Sofia, she thought about her a lot. She had been honest to herself, she felt better when the blonde was around, when they were together. She felt safe, she felt understand and trusted. She felt an emotional connection, she felt there was nothing Sofia wouldn’t do for her. All these things she had never experienced with somebody. Not at the same time. Grissom had given her most of these things, but not all of them. She knew, she needed all of them.   
So she had thought about Sofia’s feelings, her feelings towards the lieutenant and what to do with them. She didn’t want to give in to them, she didn’t want to risk their friendship. The problem was, if she ignored them, she lied to Sofia and herself. She knew, she could trust Sofia, but she had to see it again. She had to see that the blonde didn’t give into somebody she met when she was out, knowing, Sara wasn’t available. She had to see how Sofia sent them all away, how she told Monique to leave her and Sara alone, how she told Sara, that there was no way, she let anybody else in her bed, in her life, as long as she was in love with Sara. It hadn’t been enough to know all those things, she needed to see them. She did see them last night. And that was when she gave in to her own feelings.   
“If you pretend to sleep, I can get up and pretend, I wake you up with some breakfast.” Sofia’s voice got softly in Sara’s thoughts. She turned her head a bit and looked into deep blue eyes, that looked with a mixture of love and happiness at her.   
“Why don’t we do some teamwork?”  
“Like what?”  
“One will make the breakfast, the other will take the baby out for a short walk. I’m sure he needs a bush.”  
Sofia smiled. There was another reason why she was in love with Sara. Her friend never forgot that there was somebody else than themselves. No matter how nice it would be to stay in bed, she knew, Tobey needed his walk and she would give up her place in the warm bed to get out in the cold rain with the dog. She was sure, most people would leave that to Sofia.   
“Can I have one more minute with you in my arms?”  
“I’m sure Tobey will let us know when it’s urgent.” Sara snuggled into Sofia’s arms, her eyes wandering from the blonde to a photo on the wall.  
“I like the photo.”  
“So do I.” Sofia looked at the photo. Sara had taken it when they were hiking in Yosemite. Sofia had let it print in a large size and put it on her wall in the bedroom. Vogelsang lake in the morning, the sun looking over the top of a mountain. The morning after rain, the morning, after Sara had slept in Sofia’s arms for the first time. A special morning.   
“I need to get one of our Tahoe time too. My goal is, the have the whole room covered in photos of our trips. That means, we have to go on holidays together very soon.”  
“We planed, unfortunately work stopped us.” They had planed to go away for a few days, up in the mountains to show Tobey snow. Then the case, that brought Sara to San Jose, came up.   
“We have a rain check on that.”  
“Got something in mind?” Sara was sure, there were some ideas in Sofia’s mind.   
“Yes.”  
“What?”  
“First I want you to know, it’s only an idea, we don’t have to go there, if you don’t want.”  
“Just say it, Sofia.”  
“I’d love to go back to Vegas for a few days, meet the guys again. If you don’t mind.”  
“Sounds good to me.”  
“Really?”  
“I told you, I don’t mind going back for a short visit, I just don’t want to work there anymore.”  
“No work, only fun.” Sofia smiled. She liked the idea of seeing her old friends and colleagues. And somehow, in a very strange way, she even missed Vegas.   
They heard something from the other side of the door. Tobey was awake.   
“Do you want to take care of the baby or the breakfast?” Sofia asked.   
“The baby. I’m not a housewife.” Sara smiled and left the bed before Sofia could grab her and tickle her for calling her a housewife.   
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Sara Sidle.”  
“Maybe, but I’ve a good lieutenant watching out for me. Tobey!” Sara opened the door and got the puppy in her arms. He had heard them talking, he wanted to come in, but the door was locked.   
“Hey boy, let’s get your leash, have a little run and when we’re back, mommy will wait with the breakfast for us.” She kissed Tobey’s head and got his leash.   
Sofia gave herself another few seconds in bed until she heard Sara and Tobey leaving the apartment. Her bed smelled like Sara. Especially the pillow. She buried her nose in the pillow and inhaled the smell. Sara. Her lover. Her girlfriend. She still didn’t believe it. But there was no way she would question it. There were no words to describe how happy she was. 

March

„It’s so good to see you.“ Greg hugged Sara. She was back in Vegas. Not as a CSI but she was back. Her old colleagues had called for a meeting, a meeting of the old graveyard shift and Sara had said yes. She took a weekend off and flew to Vegas. Catherine had organized a hotel room for her in one of Sam Braun’s old casinos. Sara wondered if Catherine or her mom owned the casinos now. She had never asked Catherine about this.   
“Greggo, how’s life treating you?”  
“Good even if they still treat me as a the lab guy with the crazy hair style.”   
“Your hair doesn’t look crazy anymore.” She let her fingers run through Greg’s hair. It was a little bit weird to be back with her old colleagues, to see them again. Especially Grissom. They smiled at each other when Sara came to the table where they were standing, they’ve greeted like they’ve greeted all the others. No hard feelings were between them, but it was a little bit weird to see the man she was once supposed to marry.  
“Even I get older.”  
“Looks like.”  
“Whoa, stunning blonde on three o’clock, coming our way” Nick grinned.   
Sara didn’t turn but she sensed Sofia before she could see her. And who else could be a stunning blonde? There was just one stunning blonde, at least in Sara’s world.   
“Sorry guys I’m late.”  
“You were busy collecting telephone numbers?” Brass was teasing his old colleague.   
“No.”  
“Come on, I saw you at least taking three on your last few yards to here.”  
“Want some numbers?” Sofia asked with a cocky smile.  
“No, thanks. You can call them all yourself.”  
“There’s only one number I call and this number is already my speed dial number one.” Sofia wrapped her arm around Sara’s waist who didn’t say a word the whole time and kissed her.  
“Whoa, what’s that?” Greg asked.  
“That’s my stunning girl friend.” Sofia grinned.   
“Stunning? That was the word Nick used for you.” Sara took Sofia’s hand. And she had to say, Nick was right. Sofia was more than stunning in her skintight bright red dress that made her long legs look even longer. Her long blond hair was falling softly over her shoulder on her back. No wonder that she had collected a few telephone numbers.  
“When he said there’s a stunning blonde on three o’clock I knew, it can be only you.”  
“You and…?” Greg looked in disbelieve to Sara. “Wow. How?”  
“What can I say, we met last year in L.A. and somehow we stayed in touch and the touch became very close.” Sara smiled. She hadn’t told Greg. But Grissom knew, he was the only one who didn’t stare at the two women. Sara had thought it was only fair to tell him before he would see it today. He was happy for her.   
“I hope you’re taking care of Sara, Sofia.” Grissom said with a smile.  
“I try to. It’s not that easy, we’re still living in different cities.”  
“No one of you guys is ready to move?” Catherine asked amused.  
“We try to figure out who has the better job. Now Sara is waiting for a free space at the CSI San Jose and I’m waiting for a place as a lieutenant in Fresno. Whatever comes up first we’ll take.”  
“Yes, the job will make the decision. How’s the baby?”  
“Fine.”  
“Baby?” Nick’s voice was full of surprise. They had a baby too? It was the whole world created itself new and he didn’t realized that.   
“His name is Tobey and he’s fine. I gave him his dinner and he’s waiting for us.”  
“Tobey is a Rottweiler” Sara explained. “He’s seven months and he’s our baby. Or he is Sofia’s dog…”  
“…but he loves Sara with all his heart and soul. Right from the beginning. So yeah, he is our baby.”  
“As the owner as the dog.” Greg grinned.   
Sofia smiled. She didn’t love Sara right from the beginning, but she did it now. Tobey was simply better in finding out who fit to Sofia, she had to admire that.   
“So there’s no chance to get the two of you back to Vegas?” Nick asked.  
“No.” Sara said before Sofia could say anything.  
“The same answer we got from Grissom.” Nick was disappointed. He was hoping this meeting could get the old team back together but it seemed like the three who left, didn’t want to be back to Sin City.   
“Where are you at the moment, Gil?” Sofia asked.  
“Philadelphia. I’m working at the university, teaching. No more dead bodies, no more night shifts.”  
“Plenty of bugs.”  
“That’s for sure.”  
“You could be a bug man here at the university, you could be a lieutenant with the LVPD and you could be a CSI with us.” Nick tried it again.   
“No way.” Sara stopped his idea. “No more Vegas. Nothing against you guys but I’m done with this city. I like Fresno and if I have to leave I’ll go to San Jose. I don’t want to live in a desert anymore, I want to have forests and the ocean not too far away. There’s no way you’ll get me back to sand and heat.”  
“And I won’t go anywhere without her.” Sofia added.   
“She has you in her hand?” Greg tried to tease Sofia who only nodded seriously.   
“Yes, she does. Even if I wanted to leave her, my dog would force me to go back to her immediately. Tobey adores Sara.”  
“He’s a smart guy and they look so good together.” Sara grinned. Tobey was almost a grown up dog now, at least when it came to his height. With his dark black hair he looked perfect next to Sofia. And they both knew it. They made heads turn around when they walked through the city or the park.   
“That means we have to enjoy our weekend with you guys because you won’t stay.”  
“No, we won’t. But we’ll come along the lab tomorrow to say hello to the other guys. And to see how the two supervisors manage their teams.” Sofia grinned at Nick and Catherine. “What did Ecklie say when you guys told him about your relationship?”  
“Will there ever be no trouble with the night shift?” Catherine quoted with laughter.   
“Probably not.”  
“Imagine his terror if we all would be back. He just had you two guys separated and then he would worry the whole time about Sara and me. Not to imagine we would be on the same crime scene we could…I don’t know? Forget the evidence and get lost in passion?”  
“How romantic, kissing while we’re surrounded by bodies.” Sara rolled her eyes.  
“As far as I know Sara and can hold her feelings back when she’s working.” Catherine said. “Otherwise we’d have known earlier that she and Gil were together.”  
“Ecklie was very confused by that.” Grissom said with a smile. “According to him, women always want that their relationship is public. I wonder where he gets his information about women from.”  
“Catherine didn’t say anything, I did.” Nick said and gave the old team another example for Ecklie being wrong.  
“Well women change.” Brass said. His ex-wife was exactly like the women Ecklie has described. But she wasn’t the best thought for a good evening out with friends.   
“We become scary to the men world.” Sofia grinned.   
“Seeing you in this dress isn’t exactly scaring me.” Greg countered.   
“If I tell you I’m sill wearing my gun, would it scare you?”  
“You’re not…!?” The eyes of the young CSI went huge as he looked again from Sofia from head to toe, wondering where she might have a gun and then coming to the conclusion, he better didn’t think about that.   
“She goes hiking with a gun.” Sara chuckled.   
“When you force me to go to places full of bears, yes, I take my gun.”  
“Bears usually don’t attack human.” Grissom said.  
“Usually, yes. But what if when we meet a bear that didn’t pay enough attention in bear school and doesn’t know he has to avoid us? What if when it thinks we might be a lovely dinner? Or if it thinks my girl friend should be its? For cases like that I need my gun.”  
“It was King Kong who took the blond woman, so Sara should be the one who’s worried.” Nick grinned.   
“I’m kind of used to that most guys try to hit on my girlfriend. That’s why I’m happy she has Tobey.”  
“I think, Sofia knows how to get rid off guys.” Cath said dryly.   
“I do but Tobey is good. Last week there was a guy in the park and he started to talk to me, was trying to hit on me. When I called Tobey back, he went quite white. First of all he must have been thinking my dog was the little poodle, when the huge black Rottweiler came to us and Tobey started to growl at him, he turned very white. When I adjusted that my dog is very jealous and only accept my partner on my side, he was gone.”  
“As I said I love that dog. You told him I’ll be there tonight?”  
“Yes he knows and I think, he’s sitting in front of the door, waiting for you. When Sara once told him via web cam she’d be there in three hours, Tobey was sitting in front of my door waiting for her as soon as she had locked of.” Everybody started to laugh.   
“How is Hank?” Sara asked Grissom.  
“He’s fine, he found himself a little girlfriend. The daughter of my neighbor, twelve, she takes him out for walks every day. Her mother told her, if she wants a dog, she has to prove she’ll take care of one. Hank is her training dog, she has to take him out for six month, every day, no matter how the weather is. The first three weeks were no problem, but her mother thinks, as soon as there’s a week with rain, her daughter will turn back to a computer game.”  
“What would be sad, children should spend time with animals and not with computer.” Nick said.  
“Look at Lindsey, they prefer virtual pets. They’ve their pet in the internet, they take care of and when they’re tired of it, they just start another game.”  
“Better than chasing guys.”  
“Don’t even mention that. I’m so happy she kicked her boyfriend out. What an awful guy, I guess, that was the worst guy she ever brought home.”  
“You say that about every guy.” Nick laughed and got the evil eyes from Catherine. Yes she was concerned about the kind of guys her daughter chose, Lindsey had too much a taste for guys like Catherine’s mother. She was sure, if there was somewhere a young Sam Braun, Lindsey would fall for him. But hadn’t Catherine done the same? She was afraid, it was a family thing.   
“I guess we’ll have the trouble with Tobey in a few months when he finds out there are a lot of lovely ladies around him and he will try to date them. You have to talk to him that we don’t want to be grandmothers.” Sofia said to Sara.  
“Me?”  
“Yes, he listens to you.”  
“I’ll tell him if he starts to chase bitches I’ll take him to the vet and after this little visit we won’t have any problems anymore.”  
“He won’t like that.”  
“Well I’m afraid we have to caponize him. Otherwise there’ll be a lot work coming up and some people might ask you for alimony after Tobey had some fun with their three thousand dollar poodle.”  
“A poodle? My dog won’t get a poodle. I’ll get us an appointment with the vet. I’m very sorry for that, Tobey but it’s better. You can blame Sara.”  
“Don’t even think of telling him that.”  
“I can’t make him hate me. I’m his mommy, I share an apartment with him. Until we move together he’ll be over it and love you again.”  
“Uh hum.” Sara eyed Sofia. She didn’t like the idea to be the evil one. But she thought it was the best to do. When Tobey was caponized they would have less problems with him later. 

“I guess it was fun.” Sofia kissed Sara as soon as they were in the room and before Tobey could manage to tear them apart. He was so happy to see Sara, he pushed Sofia simply away and placed himself in Sara’s arms.   
“Tobey, hey, did you miss me?” Sara hugged the dog and kissed him on the head.   
“Tobey, don’t ever do that again!” Sofia stared at her dog. “Don’t you ever dare to come between my girlfriend and me! Do you hear me?” Tobey did hear her, that was no question, but he didn’t look like her cared. He was completely focused on Sara, trying to climb on her lap.   
“Jealous?” Sara smiled to her girlfriend.  
“Yes!”  
“Cute. I still love you, Sofia.”  
“Tell him. He acts like I’m nothing to you.”  
“I love Sofia, Tobey.” Sara rubbed the ears of the Rott-weiler. “You know, she was so stunning tonight, everybody turned around when she entered the club, everybody wanted to be by her side, they tried to give her telephone numbers, they tried to keep her away but she didn’t care about them, she came to me, she took me in her arms and showed everybody, she belongs to me. She made it very clear the most beautiful woman belongs to me.” Sara’s hand touched Sofia’s leg and gently run over the silky skin.  
“So tell me, do you really have a gun with you?”  
“Do you want to search me?” Sofia offered with a cocky smile.   
“You’d like that, I know.” Sara moved her hand to Sofia’s other leg and found the gun at the cnemis of her lover. “Oh Sofia.”  
“What?”  
“Why?”  
“I’m a lieutenant, I’ve to be ready for an emergency all the time.”  
“You found the only place on your body where your dress is not skin tight.”  
“Yes. And I tell you, as much as I enjoy wearing this stuff, it’s not handy. Maybe I should get a handbag next time.”  
“Mind if I take your gun away? Or do you want to secure the room first?”  
“No, I think, Tobey did that.” Sofia took Sara’s hand and got her up so that she could look in her eyes.   
“What?”  
“Nothing.” Sofia kissed Sara gently.   
“Nothing?” Sara smiled. She knew Sofia had something.   
Sofia pulled Sara closer to her and kissed her neck, her ear. “I love you.”  
“I love you too.” How could it be that these words still gave Sara a shiver? It wasn’t the first time Sofia told her she loves her, but every time she did, Sara’s hair stood up and she felt goose bumps all over her body.   
“What do you think of going to bed with me?”  
“I think I’d really like that.” Sara took Sofia’s hand.   
“Good. I want you to get me out of this dress and replace it with your lips.”  
“I think I’d love to do that.” Sara started to kiss Sofia’s shoulder.   
“Sorry Tobey, you have to stay outside.” Sofia grinned when she closed the bedroom door in front of her dog. “I want this woman for myself. You’re allowed to go for a walk with her tomorrow. Sleep tight, black boy.”  
“Good night, Tobey. I promise I’ll take care of Sofia.”  
“As will I of you.” 

May

“Sara, Captain Curtis is on her way to you. She wants to talk to you.” Rudi, the reception guy of the department in Fresno was on the phone.  
“She can come in and tell her, if she goes on calling herself a captain, I’ll call her officer. She isn’t a captain yet.”  
“You’re sure?”  
“Very sure.” Sara laughed. Since one month Sofia was working in Fresno. A spot as a lieutenant had open up here so she took the chance to leave San Jose to be with Sara. It was hard for her to leave her city at the bay, but Sara was worth the transfer. The new colleagues were nice and working with Sara a few times a week was something Sofia had missed a lot. She had felt how much she missed it when Sara was working in San Jose for one week, now that Sofia was in Fresno and saw her lover almost daily while they were working, she realized, she had missed her all the time.   
Sara on the other hand was happy to have Sofia and Tobey in her life. She had left her old apartment and moved with her lover and the dog in a small house with a garden for Tobey. What could she say? It was great to come home and finding the one she loved there or to come home knowing her lover would be there in a few minutes.   
She didn’t bother to look up when a knock on her door appeared.  
“Stop making yourself a captain, you’re just a lieutenant.”  
“I could swear I made it to captain a few years ago.”   
Sara dropped the pen. That wasn’t Sofia’s voice. She looked up and saw the older version of Sofia, Sofia’s mother.   
“Ca-Captain Curtis.” Oh shit. What the hell was Sofia’s mother doing here ? And why didn’t Sofia warn her?   
“Supervisor Sidle, may I come in?”  
“Of course, have a seat.” Sara was confused. That was the first time she met Sofia’s mother and the first time, she talked to her. What was she supposed to say? What did Sofia’s mother know about Sara and Sofia? As far as Sara knew, Sofia didn’t tell her mother about their relationship. The great thing about private life.   
“What can I do for you? Sofia didn’t tell me you’re in the city.”  
“I didn’t tell her, it’s a surprise. I knew if I’d tell her, she would manage to leave the place. You can’t blame her for being surprised by me.”  
“I don’t blame her for anything.” How much did Sofia’s mother knew? It was so hard to tell. Sara wanted to know what she could say to the older woman.   
“I’m here because my lovely daughter doesn’t really tell me what happens in her life, so every now and then I have to come to her home town and have to find out myself what she is doing. When she told me she’d leave San Jose and come to Fresno, she didn’t tell me why. All I knew, she was happy in San Jose and suddenly she wanted to go to this…little place. I was wondering why, I asked her why, all she said was, there were reasons to go to Fresno. Then she told me, she would move with her dog and you in a house that opened my eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I know that my daughter is also attracted to women, she just never told me, you’re the main reason why she moved. And I knew it would take years until she invites me to your place to meet you, so I made the decision, to come here and meet you.”  
“Okay.” That was all Sara could say. Sofia’s mother had figured out, Sara and Sofia were in a relationship, she wanted to get to know Sara, she couldn’t blame the captain for that. The question was what did she expect from Sara? And what did Sofia wanted her to say?   
“I know you’re at work, you’re busy but I’d like to meet you for lunch.”  
“With Sofia?”  
“No, without her. I want to have the chance to talk to you without my daughter.”  
“I’ve to talk to Sofia about that.”  
“Do you?” Now Sara knew where Sofia had this cocky smile from. She could swear she saw Sofia in twenty-five years in front of her.   
“Yes, I do. Sofia and me we’re up for lunch, if you want to go out for lunch with me without her, I’ve to call her and asked her, if that’s okay. If she doesn’t like it, I’m afraid I can’t join you for lunch.” That should make it clear that Sara wouldn’t do anything behind Sofia’s back. No matter if her mother asked her to do so or not.   
“You only do what Sofia wants?”  
“I try not to do things that upset her.” Was this woman testing her? Sara tried to stay calm and stoic.  
“She’ll tell you she’ll be here in five minutes and will be here in two.” Sofia’s mother smiled knowing her daughter.   
“Probably.” Sara dialed Sofia’s number. It rang only twice before the lieutenant answered the call.  
“You miss me already so much that you can’t wait another hour until we’ll see each other for lunch?” Sofia was teasing Sara. She saw the number of her lover on her phone and smiled while she talked. Another advantage of her new job, she could call Sara and it was a work phone call.   
“I do but that’s not the reason why I call you.”  
“Don’t tell me you can’t make it.” If there had be an important case, Sofia would have heard about that.   
“Your mother is here and she…”  
“What? Say that again. I had a problem with the signal and understood that my mother is there.”  
Sara didn’t bother to repeat her sentence. “She is in my office…”  
“I’ll be right there. Don’t move, don’t say anything!” Sofia ended the call.   
Sara had to hidden a smile. Her girlfriend’s voice was not only full of disbelieve, she was also horrified. The question was, for herself or for Sara?   
“A happy daughter sounds slightly different.” Captain Curtis had heard Sofia’s word and reaction. Exactly as she had said.   
“She’s coming over immediately.”  
“Not because she wants to see me.” No, that wasn’t the reason.   
“Doesn’t matter why, she’s coming over.”  
“Are you scared of me, Sara?”  
“No. Why should I?” Sara looked the captain in the eyes. The same icy blue eyes Sofia had. They were from their appearance very similar. Captain Curtis was an attractive version of Sofia in around twenty-five years.   
“I think I can take care of myself. I did that for most years.”  
“I’m sure you did but now my daughter comes over to protect you. That looks a little bit like you’re scared or she might think you’re scared.”  
“It’s my job to protect my CSI.” Sofia ran more in the office than she walked in. Her face was red, Sara wasn’t sure because she ran or because she was mad at her mother. A surprise like this wasn’t something Sofia liked.   
“Hello daughter.”  
“Mother.” Sofia placed herself between her mother and Sara, laying one hand on Sara’s arm like she wanted to make sure that the CSI was alright. More, her lover was alright.  
“There was no need to rush over, we had a perfect conversation.”  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I wanted to visit my daughter.”  
“This is not my office.”  
“I know.”  
“So, I ask you again, what are you doing here?” Two quite stubborn heads, two quite heated personalities collating in one room. It reminded Sara of a volcano, starting to cook, ready to explore.   
“Don’t treat me like a suspect.”  
“Stop acting suspicious.”  
“Sofia, I’m your mother, be careful how you talk to me.”  
“I’m old enough to know what I say. Why are you here? What stopped you from coming to me? I’m sure you know where the police department is and didn’t need to ask for directions. And it’s clear this isn’t the PD. You, from all people I know, know how a PD looks.”  
“I wanted to meet Sara.”  
“Why?”  
“Why? Come on, I’m not stupid. She’s the reason why you moved to Fresno. Even if you never told me, I knew it. It was the way you talked about her. And I knew you’d never invite me over so I had to make the first step.”  
“Interrupting Sara at work isn’t anything I can appreciate.”  
“All I want was to ask her if we could have lunch together.”  
“Sorry, we’ve got a lunch appointment, you’re free to join us if that’s alright with Sara, but I won’t let her alone with you. You have no ideas of private life and I won’t let her be your suspect.” Yes, Sofia was protecting Sara. She knew her mother, she knew how straight and sharp the captain could treat and ask people. And she knew how much Sara hated to be treated like a suspect. As soon as her mother crossed a line, Sofia would stop her.   
“Now you’re a lawyer.”  
“Don’t go there, mom.”  
“I’m already there, Sofia.”  
“Sofia.” Sara took Sofia’s hand. She knew, she had to do something before the two women would take it further and say things, they’d regret later. “It’s alright, let’s have lunch together. That’s fine with me.”  
“Mother, would you excuse us for a minute?” Sofia took Sara’s hand and pulled her out of the office into a small room next door. The copy and printer were here.   
“I’m sorry.” Sofia said.  
“No need to be.”  
“She held up to you.”  
“I could cope with that.”  
“I can’t.” Sofia pulled Sara in her arms and buried her face in Sara’s hair. Sara let her hand softly ran over Sofia’s back.   
“Everything is alright, honey.”  
“I hate it when she does things like this. She crashes into our life without asking.”  
“She’s your mother who had the feeling – the right feeling – that you moved together with the woman you love. I think it’s natural for a mother to find out who this woman is. I promise I’ll try to behave myself, I’ll eat with a fork and a knife, won’t eat from the floor and drink out of a glass and not a bowl.”  
“Stop it.” Sofia had to laugh against her own will. She touched Sara’s face with her index finger and kissed her gently.   
“I love you.”  
“I love you too and I’d like to meet your mother.”  
“You already met her.”  
“I mean for lunch, together with you.”  
“Okay, I’ll change the reservation.”  
“Try not to jump at her face again.” Since when was Sara the one who did the politics?   
“Will do…even if she does deserve that I jump at her face.”  
“You know, you look like her and I know now where you’ve got that cocky smile from.”  
“Shut up.” They left the room and walked back to the office where Sofia’s mother was still sitting.   
“I’ll change the reservation, mother. I hope one o’clock is alright for you.”  
“I’m glad you changed your mind.”  
“The next time you want to have lunch with us – it’s us, not Sara or me, it’s us – just tell us before. But after we’re so nice flexible, I’ll change the reservation from two to four.”  
“Four?” Sara looked surprised at her Sofia.  
“Yes. I know somebody who’ll fit perfect in our group.”  
“Who?”  
“Sofia, I want to get to know Sara, not your department.”  
“I’m not talking about anybody of the department, mother.”  
“Who are talking about?” Sara had no idea of whom Sofia was thinking.   
Sofia smiled. “The person who was the most jealous one when you got me.”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“You know, the one who’s heart you broke into million pieces by kissing me. The one who’s still dreaming of Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“Oh.” Sara started to laugh. Lieutenant Lascivious. That could be only one person. “Felix. What is he doing here?”  
“We’ll ask him.” Sofia got her cell phone out of her pocket.  
“You’ve got his number?” Sara raised an eyebrow.  
“Sure. Jealous?”  
“No.”  
“What a pity…” She waited for the beep.  
“Lieutenant Lascivious, what can I do for you? Do you miss me?” Felix’ voice came out of the cell phone Sofia put into loud.   
“I’d like to invite you to lunch today.”  
“Me? Wow. Is that a kind of date? Shall I book a room?”  
“No we’ll have lunch in a restaurant.”  
“Lunch with the most sexiest lieutenant in the world, lunch with my Lieutenant Lascivious. Finally I’ve a date with you. Even if I start to feel guilty, you know I like Sara…”  
“She’ll be there too.”  
“A date with Supervisor Sexy? The incredible investigator? It must be Christmas. A date with the two most sexiest women in the world, wow, I’ll be so excited, I won’t eat anything. Except the two of you – with my eyes.”  
“I gonna kick your ass if you try to hit on my girl, Felix.” Sara said, trying to stay serious.  
“She was listening? I’m busted. Hey Sara, nice to hear your voice.”  
“Stop flirting with my girlfriend.”  
“That’s the only thing I can do, my only fun I get.”  
“Find yourself a girlfriend.”  
“None of the other girls is as wonderful as you and Sofia are.”  
“Stop sucking up, boy.” Sofia grumped. “Be there at one at the restaurant of your boss. I’m sure you know where it is.”  
“I do.”  
“Good. We’ll see you there.” Sofia ended the call.   
“What is Felix doing here?” Sara asked.  
“He’ll tell you, Supervisor Sexy.”  
“Why do you know that he’s here, Lieutenant Lascivious?”  
“Because I’m his big love, your only number two.”  
“Not the smartest thing to say to your girlfriend, honey.”  
“You’re my number one, so I’m still safe.”  
“You’ve got an interesting relationship.” Sofia’s mother said. “Who’s Felix?”  
“A friend.”  
“A guy Sofia arrested so often, I had to rescue him.” Sara chuckled.   
“We’ll have lunch with a criminal?”  
“A repeater, yes. Come on, mother, I’ll take you to my office, we took enough of Sara’s time.” Sofia said. “We’ll see you in a bit.”  
“I’ll be on time, don’t worry. Captain Curtis, it was my pleasure.”  
“I look forward to have lunch with you, Sara.” And with this the two blond women left the office.   
Sara leaned back on her chair. Sofia’s mother had simply appeared in her life. Oh well, it looked like Sara would have more than a lunch with the mother of her lover. She didn’t believe the captain would leave today. Oh God, did she have to offer the woman to stay at their place? 

“Where’s your mother?” Why did Sofia come alone? Did she manage to make her mother leave? After she changed the reservation. That couldn’t be.   
“She’ll be here soon.” Sofia embraced Sara and pulled her close in her arms. “I need a minute with you alone.”  
“Was it so bad?”  
“I love my mother, don’t get me wrong, but I hate her for showing up without saying anything and I hate her even more for bothering you. I’m so sorry I should have known she’d come here one day.” She had tried to forget that, had thought, if she didn’t think of her mother appearing here uninvited, she wouldn’t show up. Sofia’s mistake.   
“Well, she’s your mother, of course she wants to know what happens in your life.”  
“Yeah, the last time I checked, we had a telephone and she does have our number. I made sure she got it ASAP.” Sofia let Sara out of her arms and sat next to her, still holding her hand. She needed to feel Sara, touch her. There had to be a physical connection between them to make Sofia relax.   
“As far as I know we still have it.”  
“She simply invited herself in our life.”  
“Yes she did.”  
“Is there any way I can make up for that?”  
Sara smiled. “I’m sure you’ll find one, lieutenant.”  
“You’re thinking of something special, supervisor?”  
“Read my mind.”  
“Okay…” Sofia studied Sara’s face. “I won’t do that if my mother stays with us. These thoughts will only come true when she’s not in or near the house.”  
“Haven’t said anything.”  
“I read your mind, as you told me.”  
“It’s interesting what you read…unfortunately we can’t take this further your mother just entered the restaurant.”  
“Did I mention that she destroys my life?”  
“She’s your mother, it’s her job and it’s your job as her daughter to think so even when you know it’s not true.”  
“Don’t be on her side.”  
“I’m always on your side, honey.” Sara pressed Sofia’s hand and smiled.   
“Love you.” Sofia whispered.   
“Ditto.”  
Sofia’s eyes went up to catch the eyes of her mother. “Hello mother.”  
“Hello dear, hello Sara. I see I’m not the last one.”  
“Felix will be here in a second.”  
“I can see him…at least, the face looks like Felix, the rest is…uhm…not him.” Sara stared at the young man. That was definitely Felix’s face but his body was in a smoking. What was wrong with him? They wanted to have a lunch, why was Felix dressed up like we wanted to take them to the opera?  
“Hello, sorry I’m late.”  
“You’re in time. What happened to your jeans?” Sara still couldn’t believe her eyes.  
“It’s a lunch date, I won’t show up in jeans.”  
“Not?”  
“No.”  
“I’m delighted to see that some young people still know how to dress.” Sofia’s mother said.   
“Felix, that’s my mother.”  
“Your mother?” Sara could see Felix was as shocked as she had been when she saw Sofia’s mother.   
“A date with three women, aren’t you a lucky guy?” Sofia smirked.   
“Yes.” Felix took the last chair between Sara and Sofia’s mother. “Captain Curtis.”  
“I see you know my rank. That tells me, my daughter doesn’t invite me into her life but she still speaks of me.”  
“Mother how can I invite you if you invite yourself?”  
“I gave you enough time.”  
“In your world, yes.”  
“How long are you and Sara together? More than just a few weeks.”  
“Yes.” A few months. Not her mother’s business in Sofia’s eyes.   
“See and you never mentioned that.”  
“Mother, if you want to tell me off for not telling you my whole private things, I won’t listen.”  
“I’m talking about an important thing. At least I think, Sara is important for you.”   
“Yes she is.” Sofia wouldn’t let her mother get her this way. There was no chance she would say anything to save herself by insulting Sara. “She’s the most important person in my life. My everything.”  
“So…”  
“Mother, stop it right now, will you? If you go on like this I’ll ask Sara to leave with me. You wanted lunch, you wanted to get to know her, stop telling me off for not telling you about her. The way you behave right now is the reason why I didn’t tell you. Now be nice, try to make ordinary conversation, don’t interrogate anybody and look what you want for lunch.”  
“You know, other mothers wouldn’t allowed their child to talk to them like you talk to me.”  
“Other mothers wouldn’t kick the privacy of their daughter like you do.”  
“Sofia.” Sara laid a hand on Sofia’s arm. “It’s alright. I think we should all have a look what we want to order. And I’d like to know why Felix is in Fresno. Don’t you have a gig in San Jose tonight?”  
“Uhm…no.” Felix’s ears became red after he became the point of interest. “Warren, my boss, saw me a few weeks ago in San Jose. He liked my show and asked me if I could imagine to work every second weekend in Fresno. He wants to offer a special Saturday dinner, with music of the time of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Junior. That’s why I’ve got the smoking. I’ll sing tomorrow here old classic songs while other people will have dinner. It’s a swing and dine night, they’ll get a three-course menu and music, after the dinner there’s the possibility to dance. Warren wants to get some of the older people in his restaurants.”  
“I like that, I’d come too.” Sara said.   
“I’m sure he’ll have a table for you.”  
“Sofia, would you like to join me for an old timer evening tomorrow?”  
“I’ve to work until six, so if we can have this dinner after six, yes.” Sofia smiled. Of course she wanted to spend the evening with Sara.   
“It starts at half past seven.”  
“Perfect, we’ve got a date. I’ll have a look for a dress that fits the occasion.”  
“I’m sure you have one.” Sofia had so many dresses, suits and whatever, Sara was sure, she had something for every occasion. If not, Sofia loved shopping, she would hit the shops after work and buy more than one dress.   
“That means, you’re fully settled in Warren’s business now, Felix?” Sara asked.   
“Yes I’ve lost my freedom but I like it. He gives me the chance to make money with my music. And by working three nights a week I’ve got enough time to work on my own songs and some time to feel free.”  
“That reminds me I still wanna drag you in a studio.” Sofia grinned.  
“You can drag me wherever you want, Lieutenant Lasc… Sofia.” Felix had a short look at Sofia’s mother. Sofia started laughing. Her mother had scared and stopped Felix.   
“Just say what you wanted to say, Felix.”  
“Uhm…”  
“I’m sure I can handle it.” Sofia’s mother said.  
“No, I think it’s better to keep it to myself.”  
“I bet you wanted to offer her that she can pay you in something else than money.” Sara guessed. “That she can show you how thankful she is in a motel room or something like that. Stop hitting on my girlfriend or I’ll hit you; very hard, on very painful spots.”  
“I was about to offer her, she can bring you too.”  
“Yes, you should keep your dreams to yourself.”   
“I will, Supervisor Sexy.”  
The waiter appeared and took their order.   
“No, serious, Sofia, if you want me in a studio, get the studio, any day between Monday and Thursday is alright, I’m more than happy to sing a few songs for you. That way I’ll have a copy of my stuff, can send a few cds to studios and keep the dream of being a pop star alive. Just make sure you’ll give me a list of the songs you want to have, so that I can practice them and won’t waste any time in the studio trying to play and sing these songs.”  
“I’ll work on that in the next few days, try to make it until…when do you go back to San Jose? Sunday?”  
“Yes.”  
“Well, we can meet for lunch again, I’ve to work but I’ll have an hour like today and we can talk about the songs and the studio.”  
“You’re on my dating list for Sunday – together with your lovely girlfriend.”  
“Sounds good…” Sofia’s beeper started to beep out of her pocket. She rolled her eyes. It was her lunch time.   
“Sorry.” She took a look at the beeper. “Damn it. I’ve to leave, there’s a …419.”  
“I come with you.” When the police had found a dead body Sara or some of her people had to go there anyway. Being here together with Sofia, knowing about the body, she could leave together with the lieutenant.  
“I assume a 419 is something bigger.” Felix said.  
“A dead body.” Sofia’s mother answered.  
“Ouch.”  
“You guys can still eat, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have your lunch after you ordered it.” Sofia said. “Mother, be nice.”  
“I’m always nice.”  
“Sure.”  
“Sofia?” Felix stopped the lieutenant.  
“Yes?”  
“If you want I can take Tobey out for a walk. It looks like the two of you won’t have time for him and you know how much I love the black guy.”  
Sofia got her key out of her pocket, threw it to Felix. “CX0708 is the code.”  
“I’ll take your doggy bag.”  
“What?”  
“Tell the chef you want to have a doggy bag, I’ll take it home for you and the two of you will have a late lunch…dinner or whenever you’ll be back home.”  
“Now you sound like my mother should sound.” Sofia laughed.   
“Go to the scene!” Her mother ordered. 

The hot water on her skin felt good. Sara closed her eyes and enjoyed for a second the water drops on her body, the soft massage it gave her. That was it. That was the best feeling you could get after a long day at work.   
A hand with shower lotion appeared on her skin, starting to rub the lotion gently on her back. Maybe the water was only the second the best feeling.   
“You’re alright?” Sofia’s mouth was close to Sara’s ear while she washed her lover.   
“Yes. Happy to be back home and that I could take my lieutenant with me.”  
“The benefit of a shared case we’ve got a bigger chance to come home together.”  
“I love coming home together.”  
“So do I.” Sofia closed her eyes and pulled Sara in her arms. Their new case was a body of a seventy-year-old woman, raped and mutilated. A young boy had discovered the body and was now in hospital, treaded for a trauma. It was for Fresno a brutal homicide.   
Sara and Sofia had worked until ten pm, then they had to see, most people were home and in bed, offices closed and they had been working for over twelve hours and needed some sleep. Tomorrow was a new day and they’d go on then.   
“Hold on.” Sofia stopped Sara’s hand from taking her sleep shirt.  
“What?”  
“You don’t need that.”  
“Why?” Sara cocked her head. What did Sofia plan? Usually when Sara didn’t need to get dressed after a shower Sofia didn’t say that, she made it very clear to Sara without words.   
“Trust me.” Sofia handed her a bathrobe and Sara put that one on.   
Arm in arm they went in their bedroom. The blonde pulled the blanket away, opened her bathrobe, dropped it in front of the bed, opened Saras and dropped that one too. Without a word or touching Sara she slipped in the bed, looking for Sara to follow her.  
“That is a new way of you to get me into bed.” Sara slipped next to Sofia and found herself immediately in the arms of the lieutenant who had turned off the lights next to the bed.   
“That’s the: I want to feel your skin on my skin way. That’s all I’ve in mind. Simply holding you, feeling you, being with you.” Sofia snuggled closer to Sara, placed her head next to Sara’s throat and kissed her softly.   
The brunette pulled one arm around the blonde’s waist and kissed her forehead. Yes she was happy that Sofia had moved to Fresno. Now they spend every night together, every evening Sara fell asleep in Sofia’s arm or with Sofia in her arms and woke up the same way. It was perfect, it was like it was supposed to be. It felt absolutely right.   
“I’m sorry that my mom showed up.”  
“You should be happy to see her.”  
“I’d be happier if she had called us first. I’d have liked to introduce you to her and not let her introduce herself to you.”  
“That’s what happens if you keep your lover as a secret.”  
“You’re not a secret, Sara.” Sofia found the eyes of her lover. “Don’t call yourself a secret, that makes it sound like I’m ashamed of you. It’s the opposite. I’m proud to call you my girlfriend. But it’s our decision when we want to tell whom that we’re together. It’s about respect the private life of somebody else. She didn’t respect our private life. She has to wait until we want her to know that we’re together or she has to wait until I tell her, there’s somebody special in my life. If it takes some time, she has to accept that. I don’t try to keep you as a secret to her, hell, the longest relationship I had so far was with a guy and it took me three years until I introduced them to each other. Two years later the relationship was over. Now you know how long my longest relationship was, by the way.” Sofia laughed.   
“I’ll try to outbid that.”  
“Honey, I don’t plan to have anybody else in my life for the rest of my life and that’s hopefully longer than five years.”  
“Don’t you always think so in a relationship?”  
“No. Even when I had these five years one, I knew it was temporary. It never felt like I had found a soul mate, something was missing. I didn’t know what it was, I do now. Things like this. Being together and talking about everything. I’ve never found somebody I could talk to that easily like I can to you. I love that there’re new things I learn about you all the time. We never shared all our life in the first couple of weeks, we’re still working on getting to know each other and I enjoy every little detail I find out about you. You’re like my favorite jigsaw puzzle.”  
“A jigsaw puzzle?”  
“Yeah.” Sofia started laughing. “Sorry, I had to think about the thing you told me on the phone once. The guy who called to you to sell you whatever and you left him alone on the phone to finish your jigsaw puzzle.”  
Sara smirked. “Sometimes you need to have your priorities in life.”  
“I hope I’m above a jigsaw puzzle.”  
“Above everything.” Sara kissed her.  
“Good. And I hope Felix is still alive.”  
“I think so.” Sara grinned. When they came back they had found a message left on the kitchen table.   
I took Tobey out for three hours, you weren’t back by them so I gave him some dinner, took him out for another little walk and left around eight. Hope my sexy supervisor and the lascivious lieutenant are alright and I look forward to see you guys tomorrow night.  
PS: Sofia, I like your mom!  
Sofia wasn’t sure if he wrote the last sentence because he thought, her mother would see it or because it was what he thought. She was dying to find out how their lunch had been and she wanted to hear both sides of the story.   
“Your mother had lunch with a repeater.”  
“Yes. That will blow the reputation of captain Curtis. Now I have to become a captain to wash our name clean again.”  
“You gave the repeater your house keys and the code, you’re even worse.”  
“We can change the code.”  
“Our special code?” The eighth of July, the day they had met in Los Angeles last year. In Sara’s mind her best day in her life so far. Or was it the day when she kissed Sofia? The day she realized, she felt more for the blonde than friendship? Maybe there were some more special dates in their life.  
“Change it to the day we kissed the first time or the time you slept the first time in my arms, in a cold fall night in the Yosemite.”  
“After you went swimming twice half naked.”  
“Did I impress you?”  
“No.” Sara laughed.   
“Right, I had the black underwear.”  
“Honey, if you had gone swimming in white underwear, that would not have impressed me. That would have made me wonder if you’re nuts.”  
“California’s the state of the fruits and nuts.”  
“Yes.”   
“I love fruits, I love nuts and both especially when you dip them in chocolate.”  
“Of course.” There was probably nothing in the world Sofia didn’t love with chocolate.   
“We might meet my mother again tomorrow.”  
“I hope so. After we left lunch early today she’ll try to get to know me tomorrow. Unfortunately it looks like we’ll be quite busy with the case. How long does she stay in Fresno?”  
“Until Monday afternoon.” And to Sofia’s release her mother had booked herself a room in a motel. She really didn’t like the idea of having her mother around the house. This was the place of her and Sara, their sanctuary, their haven. Having her mother here would destroy that and take away all the privacy they had. 

July

„I have to say I prefer to share a room.“ Sofia wrapped her arms around Sara and pulled her on the bed.   
“Do you?” Sara smiled.   
“Yes.” Sofia kissed her girlfriend.   
They had taken a long weekend – or four days off in a row, their weekends were very seldom on a real weekends, usually a Tuesday and Wednesday. With two more days, all time of collected overtime, they had made their way to Los Angeles. Together with Tobey their destination was the little motel in Silver Lake, where they had met, one year ago. It was Sofia’s idea. She had said they have to honor the place that brought them together. Without the motel and their two rooms next to each other, they wouldn’t be together now. Lucky for them Tobey was allowed in the motel, so that nothing was between them and their little holiday.   
“It’s your old room.” Sara said.  
“Yes, they must have had a look which room I had the last I was here when I booked it. No question why we share a room this time, no question why don’t need two singles beds.”  
“As much as I know about Silver Lake, they aren’t surprise that two women share a room. This is the female version of West Hollywood.”  
“I didn’t know that when I booked the motel last year. All my guide book told me was, it’s a nice area, not too many skyscraper and only a few miles away from Downtown. What was your reason for Silver Lake?”  
“I couldn’t find any big tourist attractions here, I liked that. And they said it’s a nice area. And yes, I knew about the gay community here, I figured, it would be a good place. The Castro in San Fran is also a nice place.”  
“It is the best place, I met you here.”  
“I wasn’t that happy to see you here, to be honest.”  
“Ditto.” Sofia laughed. “I remembered our relationship in Vegas and thought, if it will be like that and the woman at reception gave us the rooms next to each other, I was close to check-out before I really checked-in. Your bad mood and grumpy personality was not what I wanted for one of the most important weeks in my life. I didn’t need somebody who made me feel bad in the evening, I had enough trouble in San Jose with Monique.”  
“And I didn’t want to have your smug self-loving smile and attitude around me after a long day with boring speeches.”  
“We both anticipated something that never happened. Thanks God the good spirit didn’t get chased away by our bad karma.”  
“I got proved wrong for my bad thinking right at the first evening. I had to admit to myself, it was a nice evening and I enjoyed it.”  
“We had changed in the years before, changed to good. And now we’re here and happy right from the start that we’re together.”  
“Yes.” Sara kissed Sofia. “Very happy. I’ve no idea what we will do here for four days but I like being here. For all the good memories.”  
“We can spend a day or two in Santa Monica and Venice, I’ve this lovely black swimsuit and could use another surfing lesson. Disney Land isn’t too far away, I’ve never been there. The Universal Studios are only half an hour away. For Tobey they’ve got the reservoir, we can walk around it once a day, go up the Hollywood Hills, the Santa Monica mountains, there’s no reason to go Downtown, too many people, no place for the baby.”  
“A beach day sounds good, a day in the mountains too. I think we skip the theme parks, they’re nothing for Tobey. Aren’t the Hollywood Hills the place where all the stars go out for a walk with their dogs?”  
“We might meet a star and Tobey can find a v.i.d.”  
“A v.i.d.?”  
“A very important dog.”  
“Okay.” Sara laughed. “I doubt that he cares about that.”  
“So do I.” Sofia got up. “Time to do something we did so perfectly last year?”  
“What’s that?”  
“Ordering food. I call…what would you like to eat?”  
“Chinese?”  
“Perfect, I should have the number of the guy where I ordered last year.”  
“The one you walked down to half naked?”  
“Do you remember that because of the food or because I was half naked?”  
“Because you were half naked and I couldn’t understand why you get your food like that. I must have forgotten for a second how smug you are.”  
“Or you checked me out because you were interested.”  
“Not at that time, Hon. Sorry, you got my interest later, much later.”  
“When?” She had never asked Sara when she found out that she felt more for Sofia than friendship.   
“I enjoyed the time here, I had a lot of fun in San Jose, I looked forward to go with you to Yosemite and Tahoe and was happy we could spend Christmas together. When you left me on Boxing Day, I realized that I miss you when you’re not there. We couldn’t see each other for a couple of days that gave me time to think about why I missed you. I finally figured out I was happier with you, I enjoyed the little things in life more when you were there and that I couldn’t imagine anything better than spending time with you. And that I knew you were in love with me, after you told me Christmas Eve…”  
“I was so afraid you’d kick me out of your bed, the apartment and your life. I thought that’s the last thing you want to know, I’m in love with you.”  
“You acted like that, I was only too blind to see it. I trusted you, there was no reason to kick you out. And I knew you’re good for me. Without you, the night would have been very difficult.”  
“I can’t remember the last time you had a nightmare.”  
“There was no after this night. You were there every time a critical date came up, now you’re there every night and I’ve learnt to wake up when I’m in a dream that isn’t good for me.”  
“You wake up? Like you can control it?” Sofia was amazed.   
“Yes. I feel, this dream isn’t going to a place I like and I wake up. Then you’re there, I take you in my arms or snuggle myself in your arms and everything is good again.”  
“My girlfriend is amazing.”  
“So is mine.”   
“Of course she is, she’s a Lieutenant.”  
“Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“Lieutenant Lover.”   
“Go and call the Chinese guy. I’m hungry.”  
“Yes ma’am.”  
“And while you’re on the phone I’ll take Tobey for a little walk. We’ll bring some beer home. Do you need some chocolate?”  
“She asked me for chocolate. Tobey, did you hear that? She must love me.”  
“Nut case.” Sara smirked and took Tobey’s leash. “Come on, boy, your mommy is crazy. I hope she’ll order something decent.”  
“A duck’s head?”  
“Maybe we’ll get some French fries on our way out.”

“I feel like a walking fortunate cookie.” Sofia whined.   
“That’s what happen when you eat a whole box alone.” Sara couldn’t feel sorry for her lover. Instead of leaving some cookies for later or the next day, Sofia had eaten them all.   
“I had a run, all the messages were good. You can’t leave them, they might change in the night because you left them and then I’ll have bad luck.”  
“You’re crazy.”  
“A little bit.”  
“No wonder you came to California.”  
“Well, you know my fruits and nuts in chocolate.”  
Sara rolled her eyes and smiled. Of course Sofia would find something to compare to chocolate. They were at the water reservoir in Silver Lake and took Tobey for a walk around the little man made lake.   
“I like the houses here.” Sara was close to take some pictures of buildings. She liked the normal size houses with garden and a car in front of it. It looked good, it looked cultivated and cozy. She could imagine that people here talked to their neighbors.   
“Do you want to move to Los Angeles? Do you try to tell me that?” Sofia smiled.   
“No, I don’t.”  
“Good. I don’t want to move twice a year.”  
“But maybe one day we can go here. After you made captain for example.”  
“We’ll never be able to afford a house here.”  
“You’re right on that.”   
“You have to get a movie star if you want to live here.”  
“I pick you and Fresno instead of a house and a movie star.”  
“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Sofia took Sara’s hand. It was nice to walk around hand in hand and nobody cared that they were two women. It wasn’t that easy all the time in Fresno but most of the times, they didn’t care. They loved each other, why not showing it? It wasn’t something bad.   
“Hey, look there!” Sara pointed to a little area on the left side of the street. “A playground for dogs. Tobey, do you wanna play a little bit?” The Rottweiler waggled like he understood every word. They crossed the street to the area behind the fence. A gate let them on the playground. As soon as Sara let Tobey loose he started to run to another dog, a mix between Golden Retriever and German Shepard, as it looked for Sara and started playing. Running, jumping at each other and rolling around the two dogs didn’t need a break.   
“It looks like two friends found each other.” An older man came to Sara and Sofia. He seemed to be the owner of the other dog.  
“Yes, they saw each other and liked each other. What breed is your dog?”  
“A third Golden Retriever, a third Labrador Retriever and a third German Shepard. Her parents were Retriever, the mother a German Shepard. They called her an accident, I think she’s perfect.”  
“She looks very cute.” Sara bend down, whistled once and Tobey came to her, his new friend right behind him.  
“You’re such a good boy.” Sara hugged Tobey. “And who’s your friend? Hello young lady, who are you?”  
“Mariposa.”  
“Butterfly? That’s a nice name. Your new friend is Tobey and I hope he’s a gentleman. Go, play. Run Tobey.” Sara didn’t need to send the young dog twice, after the first words he ran away, Mariposa next to him.   
“Are you new here? I haven’t seen you or your dog before.”  
“We’re just here for four days. A kind of short holidays.” Sofia said.   
“Usually people go to Hollywood, Santa Monica or Venice.”  
“Too many tourists. We prefer a nice quiet place. And it’s a special place for us, we used to work together in Vegas and met here again last year.”  
“That’s a coincidence.”  
“Yes, a crazy coincidence.” The best coincidence that ever happened to Sara in her opinion. She smiled at Sofia.   
“Are you married?” The man could feel they were more than friends.  
“Not yet.”  
“She didn’t asked me properly yet, I would say yes but the law isn’t on our side. But we have got some time, what gives California the time to change everything again. Or we’ll go to another state.” Sofia gave Sara’s hand a quick push. It was way too early to talk about getting married, they had never have this conversation but yes, Sofia had thought about it. And if she got Sara’s answer right, the brunette had wasted a thought or two of it too. That was very good to know.  
“My neighbor and his partner married in the short period when it was legal in California. They are very happy. When I was young, things like this weren’t possible but if you think about it, it’s a love and a marriage should be a partnership of two people who love each other. If they are man and woman, man and man or woman and woman, it’s always the love of two people. And if God wouldn’t like the idea of two women loving each other, he wouldn’t have made something like this. I guess the old man in heaven is much more open minded than some of his people down on earth. More Catholic than the Pope.”  
“I’m afraid the Pope is on the side of these people but I do understand what you mean. I’m Sofia, by the way.” She offered the man her hand.  
“Eric.”  
“Sara.”  
“What are your plans for your four days holidays? After you’re obviously not into the tourist stuff.”  
“We want to have a walk in the Santa Monica Mountains, play tourists at the Hollywood Hills and might stroll around Venice and Santa Monica. There’s always something unusual at Venice Beach.”  
“Oh yes, that’s right. Mariposa, come here. We’ve to go home, mommy is waiting.” The young brownish dog stopped playing, looked at her owner like she wanted to say ‘can’t you see I’m not finished here’ and went on playing with Tobey.  
“They are like children.”  
“I guess.” Sofia whistled once, got the same look from Tobey than Eric got from his dog. “Tobey, now!” He gave her an annoyed look and came slowly towards them. Instead of Sofia he went to Sara and looked sadly up to her.  
“Oh Tobey, I know you want to go on playing but Mariposa has to go home and when Sofia calls you, you have to come back. But if you want to hate her for a few minutes it’s alright.”  
“Thanks Sara.” Sofia grumbled.  
“You’re welcome.” Sara grinned.   
“Well.” Eric got Mariposa on his leash. “Maybe we’ll see each other again. Mariposa and me we make this round twice a day, always around nine in the morning and five in the afternoon.”  
“We have no idea how our day plans look like but if we can organize it, we’ll be here too. Then they can play again.”  
“You’re in holiday, you shouldn’t have any obligations.”  
“We’ve got one, the naughty black one.” Sofia eyed her dog that was still ignoring her.   
“Next to a child and a partner the best you can have. Have a nice evening.”  
“You too.” The women said.   
“Come on, Tobey, we’ll go home and yes, we do take Sofia with us.” Sara grinned. It was her job now to play intermediator between her lover and the dog. But she was sure, within the next hour the blonde and the black dog would love each other again.   
“I won’t give him any dinner if he goes on like this.”  
“Don’t be mean.”  
“He’s…bitchy.”  
“He is offended.”  
“So am I if he reacts like I’m the devil.”  
“I’m sure you did the same when you mom called you in as a child.”  
“Don’t be on his side.” Sofia grumbled and pulled her arm closer around Sara. She wanted to hear that she was right and Tobey wrong and nothing else. 

“What I like more about this year’s staying here than the last years one, is that you did come under the shower to visit me. Last year I invited you and you stayed outside because you didn’t miss me enough.” Sofia pulled her arm around Sara’s waist. It was almost midnight, after their walk and a stop in a bar where they had a cocktail, they watched a movie on TV and went to bed.   
“Was it worth waiting for it?”  
“Yes. Even if there were other showers we shared. This was an open one, one we had to do.”  
“I can feel less pressure on me.” Sara laughed. “What else do we have to do that we didn’t do last year?”  
“We did kissing today…”  
“As if I would wait for a couple of hours until I kiss you. That was the first thing we did when we were in the room. Means, it was the second thing we changed from last year. The first thing was the shared room, that you ordered before we were here.”  
“I plan to have sex with you later, a thing we also didn’t do last year.”  
“Do you have a sex plan?”  
“Kind of.”  
“You scare me. What if, if I don’t want?”  
“On my plan is a note that says only if we both want it. Otherwise there’s a plan b, that says snuggling and cuddling. Both really good replacements and also things we didn’t do last year.”  
“Beside the sex, what do we have to do that we didn’t do?”  
“Good question. We cooked last year, we had drinks, we didn’t do any tourist stuff, but we both don’t like them. To be honest I’d enjoy strolling through Hollywood, I mean, not Hollywood Boulevard, I mean the streets. Maybe we can have a look at one or two villas of stars. If we can’t find any I’m sure there’re plenty of other nice houses. You liked them here, they should be the same or better in Hollywood or Beverly Hills.”  
“I like walking around and look at houses, don’t know why. It was a surprise for myself too.”  
“Tobey will like walking around, we can stop in a café for a coffee, get some ice cream and have a late lunch picnic later at the Hollywood Bowl.”  
“Sounds very good.” Sara pulled Sofia in her arms and kissed her.   
“This tastes good.”  
“I love the taste of your lips. What a waste of time that I didn’t taste them the last time we were here.”  
“Hey, we managed to spend time together every evening, I think that was for us good.”  
“It was. It was so much more than in Vegas.”  
“How many great nights we missed in Vegas…or days…only because you are this attracted to authority and had this crush on Grissom.”  
“You flirted with him, you two had lunch, you stayed with the lab because he talked to you. You can tell me what you want, you had a soft spot for him.”  
“And only a few months later the two of you were a couple. In private but you were.”  
“He was the reason why I came to Vegas.”  
“He knew it.”  
“Yes, I made it clear from the beginning.”  
“And he didn’t take the change. Stupid man. So smart in all other areas in life and only this part, the most important one, he missed the change for years and years.”  
“Stop talking like you were interested in me that time. You were busy with your little affairs. Detective Dazzling.”  
“You were cute but way too bitchy.”  
“I thought that was part of the attraction.”  
“No, I like you much more when you’re not bitchy.”  
“Like now?”  
“Right now you’re perfect.” Sofia smiled and kissed Sara’s cheek. “Very perfect. Especially because you’re naked next to me in bed.”  
“Do you like the naked part most?”  
“I like the you next to me part most.”  
“I like the you in my arms part very much.” Sara nibbled softly on Sofia’s ear.   
“I like what you are doing.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes. The first day of our holidays is much better than the first day of our meeting last year. I don’t have to be alone in bed and think of you, I can be with you in bed and talk with you.”   
“You thought of me last year? After our first evening?”  
“Yes.”  
“What did you think?”  
“That the evening worked out very good, I was surprised by that and glad that it was like that. I wondered what had changed that we could enjoy time together and why we weren’t able to do so in Vegas.”  
“To what conclusion did you come?”  
“I didn’t care really. It was a great evening, we had an appointment for the next evening and I was looking forward to that.”  
“Very interesting what you’re thinking of when you’re alone in bed.”  
“Yeah, lonely in bed, without you in my arms. That was such a lonely feeling.”  
“I don’t want to be in any other bed than yours for the rest of my life.”  
“Is that your way of asking me if I want to marry you?” Sofia smirked.   
“No, when I ask you, I’ll ask proper.”  
“That sounds like something I’ll look forward to. One day not too far in the future. Shall we plan that for our next summer holidays? A little ceremony and then we’ll take off for two weeks with our baby. Where would you like to go?”  
“Anywhere with you.” Sara smiled. What was it that they talked so often about marriage today? They never really talked about this before. Was it Silver Lake? Was it the area? They conversation with Eric?   
“A trailer and we make a tour through the national parks that are between here and…I don’t know… Massachusetts?”  
“Sounds like a unique honeymoon.”  
“We are unique.” Sofia grinned.   
“True. We should find out what we have to do to get married in any state in the States. The one with the less bureaucracy should be the one for us.”  
“The one for me are you.” Sofia kissed Sara.   
“Ditto.”  
Sofia moved on top of Sara, placing her lips all over the brunette’s throat. When she came to Sara’s left ear, Sofia whispered softly: “Ta gra agam ort.”  
Sara’s heart made a little jump. She loved it when Sofia said these words, it was sexy, it was mystic, it was amazing. Hearing her lover say ‘I love you’ in Gaelic, the language of her grandfather, was special. Sofia had started to learn Gaelic just like she had joined a group of people who spoke the Queen’s English. Assured by Sara, Sofia had started to find out more about her roots, about her grandparents and their ancestry. Talking in Queen’s English what Sara loved, especially when it slipped in Sofia’s American accent, and Gaelic were two things she had started to learn. 

December

„Lieutenant Curtis.“ Sofia looked up.   
“Mister Schmeichel.” A smile appeared on her face. “What can I do for you?”  
“I wanted to thank you.”  
“All I did was my job.” Sofia had finished her case today. Mister Schmeichel was one of the most successful and richest people in Fresno and in the last night somebody broke into his villa and stole a lot of his jewels and some of the original paintings he had in his house. Sofia had found the burglar within the day and Mister Schmeichel would get all his belongings back as soon as possible.   
“You found all my jewels, my paintings are there, nothing is destroyed, I’d say you did a very good job.”  
“That’s why I’m a lieutenant.”  
“Really.” Mister Schmeichel sat in front of Sofia’s desk and observed her. He was in his late fifties, gray hair, stinging green eyes.   
“Really.”  
“Tell me, how much do you earn as a lieutenant?”  
“Not as much as you do.” Sofia smiled. Probably the man brought in a week more home than Sofia in a year.   
“Would you like to earn more?”  
“I don’t think I’ll get a boost in pay in the next few weeks.” Everybody wanted to earn more money that was no question. If it was realistic to believe you’d get some, was another thing. Sofia knew it would take some time until she was due for a pay rise. She had one last fall when she became a lieutenant.   
“You could.”  
“Rather unlikely.”  
“You could work for me.”   
“I’ve got a job, Mister Schmeichel.”  
“I offer you a better one.”   
“As what?” Not that she was really interested in the job, she asked more to be polite.   
“Security.”  
“Security?” Sofia was a lieutenant not a bodyguard. She had never thought of changing jobs. The one time she had been forced to do something else was enough. She had had enough problems with the decision of the Sheriff when he made a CSI. The one thing she had learnt was, she should stick to the thing she had learnt, she wanted to do.   
“Yes. I could use a bodyguard. You’d be around me the whole time, would go with me on my business trips. You’d see the country, travel the world. I’ve got appointments all over the planet, it would be very interesting for you.”  
“You’ve got a bodyguard as far as I know.” She had seen the guy a few times when Mister Schmeichel had been to public arrangements. The business man got never attacked, nothing ever happened to him so far, his bodyguard couldn’t be bad.   
“I’d prefer to have you by my side.” The eyes of the business man were stuck on Sofia, not on her eyes, they were running all over her body. Sofia had noticed that before while she was in his villa, working on the case. The man hadn’t done anything that had given her a reason to tell him off, to say something. She was used to that men were checking her out, usually they stopped after a few seconds, her badge was a good help for that. It seems like Mister Schmeichel didn’t care about her badge.   
“Let’s say I’d take your offer…”  
“You wouldn’t regret it. As I say I’ll pay you twice the money you earn now. It’s less hours, I’d pay for all the travel costs and you’ll get a great bonus for staying away for a few days.”  
“Your bodyguard stays in the same hotel you do?”  
“Of course, otherwise there would be no protection.”  
“In the same suite?”  
“Again, of course otherwise it wouldn’t be a protection.”  
“And of which part of your body would you want me to take special care of, Mister Schmeichel?” Sofia asked sweet as sugar.   
“I’m sure we’ll find a way to work that out.” The man was smiling thinly. He understand exactly what Sofia was talking about. They were finally on the same level and he loved that. Finally they came to the point that was important for him.   
“Of course there’s a bonus for special employees.”  
“And how much do you pay your whores usually?” Sofia’s voice was still sweet when the face of the man dropped.   
“I beg your pardon?”  
“You got me right. You don’t have protection on your mind like your bodyguard at the moment does, you’re looking for some closer…employment so I wonder how much you usually pay these women.”  
“What do you dare to say?”  
“I’m saying what you were suggesting.”  
“You’re saying I’m trying to buy you.”  
Offering her a job with twice the money plus bonus, yes he was trying to buy her.   
“Having me in your suite is a thing that’s ordinary for a bodyguard, yes, talking about the special protection of special parts of your body isn’t. That’s sexual harassment, Mister Schmeichel. I’ll say no to your offer and we’ll forget this conversation, I’d suggest.”  
“You might regret this one day.”  
“Maybe. Money isn’t everything.”  
“It can get you everything.” Mister Schmeichel got up and left the room without any further words.   
“Seems like there’re still some things you can’t buy.” She mumbled. Giving up the police force to become a private security person was one thing, becoming a toy girl for an old business man was something else. Nothing Sofia wanted to do or to be.   
“Am I interrupting anything?”   
“Sara!” Sofia jumped out of her chair. The investigator was leaning at the door frame to the other office. Did she hear what Sofia and Mister Schmeichel were talking about? And why was she feeling guilty? She hadn’t done anything, she had told the man she didn’t want the job.   
“No. No, I…”  
“Your guest just left.”  
“Yes.” Something was wrong. Sofia could feel it. Something wasn’t as it was supposed to be. Sara kept the distance, didn’t try to come closer to Sofia.   
“Was he happy?”  
“We found all his valuables, thanks to your perfect work.” Sara was the csi on scene. It was Christmas, she was the only one on duty of the CSI office, the other colleagues were on call, but she hadn’t contacted them.   
“He thanked you.”  
“Did you hear everything?” Why playing something if they could go straight to the point.   
“Something. I left while you were talking and came back when he left.”  
“He…” Sofia’s phone rang. “Sorry.” She answered the phone. Was that the first taste of what she’d regret? Did Mister Schmeichel already talk to her boss? A complain about her because she…well she had no idea about what the rich man could complain but she was sure, he would find something.  
No, it was a call from colleague regards the case. He needed some details from Sofia’s file to finish his part of the case. When she looked up again, Sara was gone without say goodbye or leaving a note. She never did that before. She always stayed when Sofia was on the phone or at least left the blonde a note.   
“Damn it.” Sofia closed her eyes. That didn’t look good.   
***  
“I think we have to talk.” Now it was Sofia who was leaning against the door frame. This time it wasn’t in the department, it was at their home, in the kitchen. She arrived home a few seconds ago, had met Tobey in the garden, spent some time with him and went inside.   
“I can talk and cook, so go on.” Sara was preparing the dinner. At least that’s what she was pretending to do. Sofia could clearly see how her lover only cut already small pieces of vegetables to have something to do and not to look at her.   
Why did she treat Sofia like she had done something wrong? Why did she punish her? What for? Sofia had no idea what she had done wrong. Why had women all the time to play drama queen? Couldn’t they just say what was bothering them? Hell, they talked usually all the time, most of the time it was senseless shit, when it came to something important, they shut up and expected everybody to read their mind. No wonder that Sofia preferred to work with guys, they were easier to handle.   
She could try the understanding way, but Sofia didn’t feel like that. She made sure Sara hadn’t turn on the oven so far, was of course not the case was. Sara didn’t have any idea when Sofia was back, starting cooking would have destroyed her being busy picture.   
With a few long strides Sofia was behind Sara, grabbed ruggedly her shoulders, so that Sara dropped the knife surprised, spun her around, pushing her in front of the fridge and pinned her between the fridge and herself while her mouth found Sara’s mouth. A hard long kiss let Sofia’s anger vanish – at least a little bit.   
“If you stupid bitch want to punish me for something stop playing bloody drama queen. Tell me what the fuck is going on straight to my face. Maybe we can get the shit out of the way before dinner.”  
“What…”  
“Wrong start, honey.” Sofia interrupted Sara’s sentence. “You won’t fucking start with a question word, you’ll cut through the shit and come straight to the point. Now!” Sofia’s eyes burned with anger. Maybe the anger hadn’t vanished, it just got started.   
“Boost of money.”  
“Don’t make me forcing you. I swear I’ll get you talking if you don’t talk voluntary. What is it with boost of money?” Her voice was as angry as her eyes were.   
“Private protection, a boost of money, traveling the world.”  
“Okay, that’s enough, shut up.” Sofia held Sara’s hand with her own hands pinned to the fridge, her face only a few inches away from the investigators.   
“Look me in the eyes, Sara.”  
Sara looked away. Of course, stubborn bitch.   
“Fuck that, Sara! Look. Me. In. The. Eyes! Now!”   
“Or what? You’ll slap me? Punch me in the guts? Kick me through the kitchen? Go ahead, I know how a scene like that looks. I know how that feels. You won’t do anything I don’t know already.” Sara’s voice was soundless.   
“Fuck.” Sofia let Sara’s hand lose and dropped on the floor. Tears suddenly flooded out of her eyes and she started to tremble. Something that made her angry. Why couldn’t she get a grip? Why did she have to break down? She had to be mad at Sara, she wanted to yell at her, tell her off, make her feel sorry for treating Sofia like she did something wrong. Instead of that she broke down after the first real sentences the investigator had said.   
Sara crawled next to Sofia, took her arms around her and pulled her as close as possible to herself.   
“I’m sorry.” Without seeing it Sofia knew Sara was crying too. “I’m so sorry, Sofia. I really am. That was stupid of me. All of it. How I behaved and what I just said to you. Especially what I just said to you. Please. Don’t cry. Sofia.” Sara’s voice was trembling. What did happen? How could they end up like this?   
“I’d never slap you, would never punch you, would never kick you.”   
“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that, that was so stupid.”  
“I love you, I’d never hurt you…”  
“I know, I know that honey.” Sara kissed Sofia’s tears away or at least she tried. The blonde was still crying, new tears appeared on her face in seconds.   
“Never. No matter how angry I am.”  
“I know.” Sara tried to get Sofia closer to herself and was for a second afraid, she’d break the rips of both of them if she’d pull closer.   
“I love you…”  
“I love you too, Sofia.” Sara made the decision to let one arm go, caressed Sofia’s cheek, turned the face of the blonde gently to hers and kissed her softly.   
“I love you, don’t cry anymore. Please. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you cry.”  
Sofia buried her face in Sara’s hair. Slapping Sara? Punching her? Kicking her? How could she even think of things like that? Sofia loved her, she knew what Sara had been through, she’d never ever consider hurting her. In no way.   
“It’s my fault. I threaded you and I did hurt you.” She could see where her hands had been on Sara’s wrists. They had left marks.   
“I’m fine.”  
“I can see the marks of my hands on your wrists.” She left bruises on the body of her lover. She wasn’t better than Sara’s father, punching the crap out of her when she was a child.   
“That will be gone in a few minutes, no need to worry about, honey.”  
“I hurt you.” How could she? Why didn’t she realize how strong her grip was? Why didn’t she think of that?   
“You didn’t. Come on.” Sara dragged Sofia on her feet, leaded her out of the kitchen into the bedroom. Without words she removed the boots of the lieutenant, the holster and pulled her with her under the blankets. Sofia immediately snuggled into Sara’s arms.   
In silence they lied down, holding each other, kissing tears away.   
When none of them was trembling anymore and all tears were kissed away, Sara started talking.   
“I’m sorry Sofia.”  
“Maybe we should try to skip that. We both found out, we’re sorry.” Sofia tried to laugh.   
“I acted like a stupid, jealous bitch. You had every reason to be mad at me.”  
“You heard what Schmeichel was offering me.”   
“Yes.”  
“Did you hear what I answer?”  
“No.”  
“I told him in a nice way to stick his money where the sun’s not shinning and to stick to his whores.”  
“You didn’t.” Now Sara had to laugh.   
“Sure. If he thinks he can buy me with his money, he’s wrong. I might use my sex appeal every now and then to get things faster but there’s a limit. I’d never sleep with somebody to get a better job, more money or influence. I’m sorry to tell you, Sara, I sleep with you because I love you and there’s only you in my life and my bed. I’m afraid you have to learn to live with that, accept that.”  
“I know that, I mean, my head knows that but he offered you…and it seemed for a moment you’d play his game. I stopped thinking.”  
“You did, yes. Instead of thinking, a thing you’re great in, you started to act like a stupid bitch.”  
“What you called me.”  
“I was right, I won’t apologize for that.”  
“You were.” Sara kissed Sofia’s cheek.   
“Good, we’ve got a base. Now for your record: I’ll stay with the police department, I’ll bring home shitty money and I’ll have sex only with you.”  
“Sounds like a promise to me.”  
“It is. And as you know, I keep my promises.”   
“And I promise not to act like a stupid bitch anymore.”  
“Good.” Sofia got her arm under Sara’s neck and took the hands of the brunette in hers to see them better.  
“Still there.” Sadly she let her index finger run over the marks she left on Sara’s wrists.  
“Almost gone.” Sara got her hands free and rolled on Sofia, smirking. “I promised not to be a stupid bitch anymore, but payback is a bitch. I’ll give you a mark for your marks on my wrists.” And with that she placed her lips on Sofia’s throat and started to kiss and suck the sensible skin. Sofia would have to wear the next few days a scarf. Some marks on skin were nice. It was fun for both to get them. 

“I guess I like Christmas.”   
“Really?” Sara looked around the place she once knew as her home. Apparently it was still her home, it just didn’t look like it anymore. Christmas decoration was everywhere, a huge Christmas tree was in the living area, faked snow was sprinkled around and on it, dozen of gift boxes placed around it, a Santa Claus hung over the big window, walnuts were on every shelve and the smell of cinnamon came out of every corner. In short: Her home looked like an advertisement for Christmas on TV and it was all Sofia’s fault.   
“Yeah since I’ve met you. You brought the spirit of Christmas back into my life.” Sofia pulled Sara into her arms. Finally they could enjoy their own little Christmas world.   
“I’m not quite sure if it’s my pleasure.” Sara wondered. To her, the house looked weird.   
“It is. And look how happy our baby is, inside, with his food and on his blanket.”  
“Sorry for keeping you out so long, Tobey.” Sara apologized. She had left Tobey out when she came home and started cooking. Then there was this fight or breakdown with Sofia and Tobey had to stay outside for two more hours.   
“You must understand, Tobey, make up sex is too great, we couldn’t keep that shorter.”  
“I’m sure he appreciate his sacrifice.”   
“Sure he does. Especially when we feed him tonight with the rest of our dinner.”  
“He’ll get a lovely bone.”  
“My girlfriend, the vegetarian, cooked a t-bone steak for me. That’s love.”  
“Of course it is.” Sara got herself out of Sofia’s arms. “I’ll fix our dinner. Want to lit the candles on the table?”  
“Actually I’d prefer to eat with you on the couch, with you in my arms. You’re so far away when we sit on the table.”  
“Far away like a foot?”  
“Yes. That’s like twelve inches too far away.”  
“You’re sweet.” Sara kissed Sofia and vanished in the kitchen.   
Sofia took Sara’s answer as a yes and moved everything to the couch. After making the decision she doesn’t want to get up to get the presents she brought them to the couch too. Yes, that was the easiest thing, she’d arrange everything around the couch and they could sit in the middle.  
“What are you doing?” Sara came accompanied by Tobey out of the kitchen, their dinner on two plates.  
“Arranging everything around the couch so we don’t have to leave it until we’ll got to bed. Give me the chance to keep you in my arms.”  
“I never planed to be anywhere else than your arms.”  
“Good.” Sofia took her plate and sat next to Sara on the couch.  
“How many cookies did you eat while I was in the kitchen?”   
“None.”  
“None?”  
“I swear, I only carried them over, I didn’t eat them.”  
“I’m proud of you. Look what I have for you as an entré.” She held a piece of chocolate in her hands. “Swiss stuff.”  
“The real good thing, as an entré? Why?”  
“It’s Christmas you deserve something special.”  
“I’ve got you, it can’t get more special.”  
“You think, lieutenant.”  
“I know, supervisor.”  
“Alright. Let me get this straight: you think, sitting on the couch, having me in your arms, eating dinner is the top? Christmas can’t get better.”  
“Yes.” Sofia started to become suspicious. What was Sara talking about? To her this sounded very good. How could she top this perfect evening? An evening that was followed by two free days, two days they could stay in bed, have long walks with Tobey and hours of snuggling on the couch.   
“Let me try to prove you wrong.” Sara put her plate on the table, took Sofia’s left hand with one hand and got a ring out of her pocket with her other hand.  
“Sofia Curtis, would you like to marry me?”   
“What?” Sofia’s mouth stayed open. Did she hear right? Did Sara ask her if she wanted to marry her? Was she serious? Was this a test? A game? Was it reality?   
“What is not exactly the answer I was hoping for. I’ll try it again, at least it was not a no. Sofia, would you like to marry me?”  
“Yes.” Sofia dropped her plate, not caring that her food ended up on the carpet and Tobey was more than happy to take care of it. All what counted for Sofia was Sara. She found Sara’s lips with hers and kissed her passionately. Of course she wanted to marry Sara. What a stupid question. No, not stupid, a great question, best one somebody ever asked her, but Sara should known what the answer is.   
“I love you.” Sara whispered. She had no idea how she got that ring on Sofia’s finger, but it was there, shinning in gold on the blonde’s ring finger.   
“I love you too.” Great, now Sofia was crying again. Wasn’t she the one who was always making fun of the women in movies, who started to cry when somebody asked them to marry them. Here she was, crying like a baby because Sara had popped out the question.   
“I assume these are tears of joy.” Sara kissed a tear away.   
“Of course they are.”  
“I’m glad to hear that.”  
“I never expected this question.”  
“Because I acted like a stupid bitch today?” Sara smiled.  
“Well, that was a thing too that didn’t give me a hint about this, yes.”  
“I almost didn’t ask because of that.”  
“Fights belong in a relationship as long as we work it out, grown with them and don’t break on them, they’re alright. As we found out, making up is a lot of fun. Where the hell is your ring? I want to put a ring on your finger too. An engagement needs two rings.”  
Sara got the second ring out of her pocket and handed it to Sofia.  
“Thanks.” Sofia cocked her head. “Does it make sense to ask you if you want to marry me? Or is that not necessary after you asked me. I assume you want to marry me otherwise you wouldn’t have asked me.”  
“If you want you can ask me.”  
“Sara Sidle, would you give me the honor to become my wife?”  
“Yes.”   
“Yes! Yeah! Thanks.” Sofia laughed and put the ring on Sara’s finger. “Now we have to tell the state of California to make our promise legal.”  
“If they don’t do it we’ll have to make a longer holiday. There are some states that allows the same sex marriage.”  
“Do we have to move there? I’d leave Fresno to marry you, no question about that, but…”  
“I don’t know. But after we found out we want to get married, we don’t have to rush it. I’ll also marry you in a few months, Sofia. All I wanted is to know if you would consider staying the rest of your life with me. The marriage can be in a few month, next year, whenever. There’s no pressure on it.”  
“No pressure but I’d like to have you as my legal wife ASAP. To make it clear to everybody I belong only to you.”  
“This ring should make it clear.”  
“It will do – for a start.” Sofia grinned. She and Sara would get married. This was a very special Christmas. 

March

It was the worst day in her life. Sara would never forget this phone call. There was an accident. You have to come to the hospital, it’s Sofia. She got shot. Those were the words of Sofia’s colleague, who called Sara at work. She had left immediately, waited for hours in front to the ER until a doctor came to her. Sofia was alive. They got the bullet out, ironically Sara’s colleague was there to collect the evidence. It should be her job. A shot cop. This kind of case was the job of the supervisor, but Sara wasn’t able to work, to think or to do anything than praying and crying.   
For two day she sat next to Sofia’s bed, waiting for her girlfriend to wake up. She had to sleep, had to recover. And Sara knew, when Sofia woke up, she couldn’t tell her anything good. No, she had to tell her very bad news.   
On the third day, Sara hadn’t slept but had left the hospital to take Tobey out for a walk, she found Sofia awake in her bed.   
“Sofia.” Released to see her awake Sara rushed to her girlfriend and hugged her. She was awake. Finally.   
“Hey.”  
Sara didn’t want to let go. She wanted to take Sofia in her arms and carry her away, out of the hospital, to their house and simply hold her for the rest of her life.   
“I’m so happy that you’re awake.”  
“Why?”   
“Why?” Sara looked at Sofia. “You were in a coma for two days.”  
“I should be dead.”  
“Don’t say that!” The bitter sound of Sofia’s voice made it hard for Sara not to cry. She fought her tears, she tried to be strong.   
“I should be dead. You know what they said.”  
“Yes.”  
“I’m worthless now.”  
“You’re not.”  
“I am.”  
“Sofia…”  
“Sara, leave me alone.”  
“What?”  
“Leave me alone. I…you…there’s no reason for you to be here.”  
“I beg your pardon?”  
“I don’t want your pity.”  
“My pity?” Sara couldn’t believe her ears. Sofia must be kidding. Sara’s pity? She wanted her to leave?   
“Yes. I don’t need that. I want to be alone. Go and find somebody who’s worth you.”  
“Sofia…”  
“Go. Please.” Sofia pressed the button next to her bed to call a nurse. “I’m serious.” The nurse appeared. Sara wondered how she had managed to come here so fast. Usually you had to wait for ages until somebody appeared.  
“Would you show Miss Sidle the way out, please?” Sofia asked the nurse.  
“Sofia...”  
“Sara, go. Now.”  
Sara shook her head and left the room. Sofia kicked her out of the room. She wanted to kick her out of her life. Sara was stunned. The doctor had told her Sofia’s head was alright, Sara began to doubt that. Her girlfriend wasn’t herself. Maybe it was the shock, maybe all the medicine was confusing her. Yes, it must be the medicine, a side effect of the coma. When Sara come back tomorrow, Sofia would be better and they could talk.   
Talk. Sara had waited for three days to talk to Sofia again. She was so happy to see her awake and then this. Instead of talking, Sofia sent her away. Told her to stay away. And what was this shit about pity about? Sara didn’t feel sorry for Sofia, she loved her. She wanted to be with her. Sofia should know that. She knew that. For crying out loud, they were together since fourteen months, Sofia knew goddamn well how much she meant to Sara. 

Sara came back the next day. Maybe her girlfriend could think again today.  
“I told to stay away.” According to this greeting Sara could tell Sofia wasn’t fine. Fine, if she wanted to play, Sara could play too.  
“I talked to your doctor…”  
“You have no rights to talk to him. That’s private, it’s confidential. This is not your business anymore. If you want to mother someone, there’s a nursing home down the road. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it when you feel sorry for them. I don’t need your pity. And you don’t need me.”  
That was enough. Sofia just reached a line. Sara wouldn’t take more.   
“Okay, listen to me.” Sara’s eyes narrowed and filled themselves with anger. “Listen very carefully, Sofia.” She moved to the bed, sat next to the blonde, never took her eyes of her. “Don’t you ever again dare to tell me what I have to do. Don’t you ever again dare to tell me I don’t need you. And don’t you ever again dare to talk to me like this. The only one who feels pity for you are yourself. I don’t feel sorry for you, I love you. I’m sure you remember that. If you want to act like an idiot, go ahead, but don’t treat me like I don’t love you. I do love you, that hasn’t change. My love doesn’t stop just because you might be never able to walk again.” That was Sofia’s problem. The bullet had hit some nerves in Sofia’s back and at the moment she was paraplegic. Everything above her hips worked perfect, but she couldn’t move her legs. According to her doctor, it was very likely it was only temporary, but they couldn’t say if it was a long time or a short.   
Sara stuck her hands in her pockets and got a ring out. Sofia’s ring. Their engagement ring. Sara had taken care of it while Sofia was in surgery and in coma. She took Sofia’s hand, pulled the ring over her finger.  
“See this? You won’t get rid off me this easy, Sofia Curtis. I love you. I don’t let you chase me away. You won’t scare me off. Try harder if you want to get rid off me. By being in a wheelchair for a couple of day, weeks, months or whatever it won’t happen. It’s still you, you’re still the one I love. If you want me to leave you, you have to cheat on me, to hurt me. Do you want to hurt me? Do you want to break my heart? Do you want to prove me wrong? Was it a mistake to trust you? To fall in love with you? Did you lie to me the whole time? Do you not really love me?”  
She looked Sofia in the eyes.   
“Screw that.” Sofia turned her face away, so that Sara forced her with her hand to look at her again.  
“Tell me, that you don’t love me anymore, that you never did and this all was nothing more than a game for you. Come on, hurt me, tell I’m a stupid fool who fell for your game. Tell me you never loved me.”  
“Sara, I…” Sofia stopped.  
“Yes? Come on, tell me. Tell me you never loved me.” Sara’s voice was ice cold. “So easy to say, so easy to get rid off me. Come tell me, you don’t want me, you played me, you don’t feel anything for me. Tell me you never loved me.”  
“I love you…” That was a release but Sara couldn’t show that now. She had to go on one step further to clear everything.   
“So why do you want to send me away? Why do you hurt me? Why do you treat me like dirt? Are you sure you do love me?”  
“Yes, I do. But I…I’m a useless gimp, not worth your love.”  
“First of all, you’re not a worthless gimp. You’ll be in a wheelchair for a period of time. That sucks, no question. But it doesn’t change you. You’re still my Sofia. Would you please let me make my own decision who I love and who’s worth to be loved by me?”  
“I can’t give you anything anymore.”  
“Didn’t you just tell me that you love me?”  
“Yes…”  
“That’s all I want, Sofia. I want your love. That’s the most important thing in my life. You and your love. I don’t care about the rest.” Sara lifted Sofia’s left hand with her left hand to have their rings in front of their faces.   
“See this? Two rings, two equal rings, symbols for one love. Reminder of our love, no end like the rings.”  
“I can’t walk anymore…what do you want to do with me? I’m…I feel like I’m dead.”  
Sara bent over and kissed Sofia. First softly and carefully, then passionately. It was so good to feel Sofia’s lips, to feel her kiss, feel how her tongue played gently with Saras.   
“Does that feel like dead to you?” She asked when their lips apart.  
“Mhm, maybe. Felt like I was kissed by an angel.”  
“It will be an revenge angel if you ever act like before.”  
“I’m sorry.” Sofia’s eyes were sad.  
Sara took her in her arms and pulled her close to herself. “It’s alright, honey.”  
“I hurt you.”  
“Yes you did.”  
“I never wanted to hurt you.”  
“Don’t do it again and everything will be fine. You got a lot of medicine, they told you that you can’t walk for a uncertain time, I can understand that you react strange.”  
“You think we can cope with this…new situation?”  
“I think as long as we love each other we can cope with everything. I know I can survive everything and everything is only half as bad as long as you’re there. Without you, nothing makes sense and my life has no sense anymore. There’s a good reason why I want to marry you, Sofia. You make my life worth living, you are my life. When they called me and told me, you got shot, I thought my life is over. I don’t think I’d be able to cope without you. My world would break apart and…nothing would make sense. If you’re not here, there’s no reason why I should be here. I need you like I need to breath, drink, eat and sleep.”  
“I love you.” Sofia buried her face in Sara’s hair and cried. Her girlfriend. Lover. Fiancé. Whatever you wanted to call Sara, for Sofia she was simply her everything. And she treated her bad. She told her to go away, to leave her alone. It wasn’t Sara who felt sorry for Sofia, it wasn’t Sara who was full of pity, it was Sofia. She almost destroyed hers and Sara’s life by drowning in pity.   
“I’m sorry for how I treated you, I’m sorry for all the things I’ve said and done. I’m sorry for…” Sara’s lips stopped Sofia’s apologies.   
“Forget it. Let’s start new, like yesterday and the first five minutes today didn’t happen. Hey Hon, it’s nice that you’re awake again. I love to look into your eyes, kiss your lips and hear your voice.”  
“I’m happy to see you, kiss you and hear you. Did you stay at my bed the whole time?”  
“Of course. I only left when I needed to look after Tobey.”  
“How is our baby?”  
“He misses you. He searched the house and the garden the last days.”  
“You can’t smuggle him in?”  
“Unfortunately he’s not a Chinchilla, I can’t put him in my backpack.” Sara grinned.  
“Tell him I miss him too and I’ll try to get out of here as soon as possible.”  
“The doc said you might be out here by next weekend.”  
“That’s a long time. Those are ten more nights without you.”  
“For your injuries it’s fast. They’ll make some tests and then you’ll be here for the physiotherapist and observation.”  
“Do you think we can manage this new life?”  
“Yes. I called a builder, we’ll get a new shower tomorrow. One you can enter and exit with a wheelchair. I moved some furniture so that you can fit through everything I’ll put all the important things down. Only the chocolate will be high up on the top shelf.”  
“Why?” Sofia’s face was full of horror. Beside Sara’s love chocolate was the thing she hoped that would keep her happy.  
“Because you won’t have so many changes to work out and I don’t want Lieutenant Lascivious to become Lieutenant Loading.” Sara smirked and let her hands run through Sofia’s legs. “I want these legs to stay like they are. This long and slender. You gonna be the first sex object on wheels.”  
“You reduce me on my body.”  
“Right now? Yes.”  
“Bitch.”  
“It’s angel bitch for you, Sweety.”  
“I want my chocolate. If you take it away from me, I’ll roll out of the house and buy some.”  
“I’ll put the money next to the chocolate.”  
“I let Mister Brooks write it down.”  
“He’ll get instructions not to sell you anything.”  
“Sara, I start to hate you.”  
“No, you love me.”  
“Don’t come between me and chocolate. I’ll cut out some other food…vegetables for example.”  
“Dream on.” Sara kissed Sofia, took her hand and smiled when their fingers linked. It was good to see their rings next to each others.   
“When do you have to work again?”  
“Next week.”  
“They gave you a whole week off?”  
“Yes, they did. They know I can’t work when you’re here.”  
“One of your colleagues will be here soon. My statement.”  
“The job doesn’t stop for you.”  
“No. They have the shooter.”  
“Yes. It shouldn’t take too long.”  
“Good. I prefer to talk to you.”  
“I’ll be here the whole time if you want. Beside an hour when I have to walk Tobey.”  
“I want to join you. Do you think I can have one of the wheelchairs and come with you? I need the training anyway.”  
“I doubt they let you out today.”  
“I’m an animal in a cage.”  
“Sexy black panther.”  
“Be my little mouse.”  
“Maybe when you’re back home we can play cat and mouse.” Sara blinked at Sofia. She was happy that the problems of yesterday were past. An accident shouldn’t come between them. They belonged together. Till death do them apart.

“Look what I’ve found.” Sara got her hands from her back to the front so that Sofia could see what she was carrying.  
“Chocolate!” For three days, since she was awake, Sofia had tried to convince the nurses to bring her chocolate, they had never done this little favor to her. Finally Sara had brought her something. A little bar, but better than nothing.  
“Hazelnut.”  
“The best one. Unfortunately the size of the bar was the worst.”  
“Get used to it.”  
“Do I get chocolate pudding for dessert?”  
“Maybe every now and then.”  
“She has got a heart, I knew it. She won’t let me suffer without my brown gold.”  
“You’re a chocoholic.”  
“You knew that before. It’s part of the Sofia packet. And you, my dear, booked the whole packet.”  
“I know. I want nothing else than the whole packet.”  
“Good. And in my instruction book is written under point two: daily use of chocolate is necessary.”  
“What’s under point one?”  
“Being with you, being in your arms, holding you in my arms, kissing you, get kissed by you, snuggle you, love you, be loved by you and everything else, that means we’re very close together is essential to keep me alive.”  
“I’m more important than chocolate. What an honor.” Sara kissed Sofia and got up. “I’ll be back soon. Don’t eat all the chocolate at once. Keep some for the night.”  
“Yes mom.” Sofia grinned. She would tell Sara later that she had used the wheelchair today and when the nurse was distracted, Sofia had took the chance and rolled in world record time to the vending machine, got the two dollar, she had smuggled in her robe, out and bought herself some chocolate. If Sara knew how the food tasted, she’d understand that Sofia was simply trying to survive. Snickers could be a lunch.  
When she heard a knock on the door she didn’t bother to look up.  
“Come in, I missed you already.”  
“Sweet. I missed you too.”  
That wasn’t Sara! That was a male voice and she knew this voice very well.   
“Felix!”   
“Lieutenant Lascivious, I’m happy to see you’re alive and kicking.”  
“Kicking? I don’t think so. Not with these legs.”  
“I’m sure you’ll find ways to kick my arse.”  
“I will. But first I’ll kick the one of my fiancé, this bitch. She told you about my grandmother and her accent.” Arse. Sara still teased Sofia for that. If it wasn’t for her rank she teased the blonde with her grandmother’s origin. The worst thing was when Sara faked a British accent. Sofia always wanted to strangle her when she did that.  
“Maybe. Can you talk in British English?”  
“Yes I can.”  
“Do it for me, I’m sure that will sound hot.”  
“You’re flirting with a morbid person. I’ll tell Sara and she’ll kick your ASS!”  
“Nah, she won’t, she likes me and she doesn’t mind when I flirt with you.”  
Unfortunately Sofia couldn’t disagree with him. Sara never minded when Felix was flirting with Sofia. She was amused.  
“Wait until I can walk again, I’ll give you a hard time.”  
“Hurry up with that I want to run. But first, sit up, legs out of bed.”  
“Why?”  
“Don’t ask, do it.”  
“Careful boy.”  
“I will. Come on, show me your sexy legs.”  
“I wear a pj, you won’t see anything.”  
“I can imagine.” He got next to her and before Sofia could do anything, he had wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up.  
“Felix! What the hell…get me back! Immediately.”  
“Later, honey. Wow, I always dreamed of carrying you in my arms. Well, in my dreams I carried you to the bed not away but you can’t have everything, can you? Come on, let’s go to the window.”  
“Do you want to throw me out of the window?”  
“Why should I do that? Did you replace your ability of walking with flying?”  
“No.”  
“Do you gonna be as nasty to Sara as you were two days ago?”  
“She told you?”  
“Hon, I stay at your place. When she called me that you’re shot, I came here as fast as I could. Taking care of her and Tobey and I have to say, you know how much I adore you, Lieutenant Lascivious but if you hurt her again like you did two days ago, I will throw you out of the window! Don’t ever you ever treat your wife like that again.”  
“She isn’t my wife – yet.”  
“Being married is nothing more than having the love written on a paper. You love her, you did already love her when she was the first time in San Jose, I could see it in your eyes. And you don’t need a piece of paper to love.”  
“I promise I won’t do it again.”  
“Good. Then there’s no reason to throw you out of the window.” He pulled the curtains away and opened the window. “Look who’s there.”  
When Sofia looked out of the window she saw Sara. And next to Sara was Tobey, sitting on the grass in the backyard of the hospital.  
“Tobey!” One word, his name, and the head of the Rottweiler got straight up and he started to bark. There was his mom. He could see her, hear her. Tobey started to pull on the leash, trying to get to Sofia.   
“Oh honey, I’m too far up, you can’t come to me.”  
“He’s trying.” Sara said. Sofia’s bed was on the second floor. She was close enough to be seen, but too high to get close to Tobey.  
“I promise I’ll come home ASAP, Tobey. I miss you too.”  
“I’m sure you’re allowed to go to the garden tomorrow. Tobey can meet you here.”  
“He’ll jump on my lap, won’t you, Tobey? That will be alright, I want to hug you.”  
“What are you doing?” They haven’t heard the nurse coming in. With big eyes looked she at Felix and Sofia, who was still sitting on the sill.   
“Saying hello to my baby.”  
“Do you want to fall out of the window?”  
“Actually I thought he’ll throw me out but he promised to be nice as long as I am nice.”  
“You have to go back to bed.”  
“Why?”  
“I’ll carry her back.” Felix smiled. Sofia was ready to fight with the nurse, not the best idea when you depend on somebody to upset them.   
“Come here, Lieutenant Lascivious, I always wanted to carry you to bed, you can make my dreams come true.”  
“I’m sure your dreams looked slightly different.”  
“Only slightly.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Say good-bye to the baby.”  
“Bye Tobey, I’ll see you tomorrow. Be a good boy and take care of Sara.”  
“I’ll be with you in a minute.” Sara called from downstairs.   
Felix placed Sofia back in her bed.   
“That’s better. You can’t sit there, it’s too dangerous.”  
“If I want to committed suicide I’d do it in another way. Falling from the second level, on my dog and girlfriend isn’t what I planed.”  
“You don’t plan anything like this.” Felix grumbled.  
“No, I don’t. I promised to be good.”  
“Do you need anything?”  
“Only a cool wheelchair and then I can rock and roll out of here.”  
“I’m afraid you have to wait until next weekend with this. At least.”  
“That ‘at least’ is a thing you can forget. They said next weekend, I’ll be out on Saturday morning. There’s no reason to stay longer. There’s a dog that needs me and I miss my bed.” Not to mention the woman who was with her in bed, next to her, in her arms.   
“You need some help.”  
“That’s what outpatient care is for.”  
“I bet you’ve got some patients that are easier than the lieutenant.” Felix grinned. The look the nurse gave him proved him right.   
“Ring the bell if you need something.” She left the room.  
“We didn’t ring the bell the last time. Party pooper. I bet she needs a good…”  
“Sofia!”   
“Cocktail.”  
“Good girl.” He grinned again.   
“Girl?”  
“Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“I think the part with the lascivious is over.”  
“Honey, as long as you’ve got this eyes, this look in your eyes and this smile, you’ll always be lascivious. It doesn’t matter that you’re hiding your sexy legs now that what really attracts me, is still there, still the same like last week. This smile breaks hearts.”  
“You’re sucking up again.”  
“I’m telling you the truth.”  
“Does Sara pay you?”  
“No, she doesn’t. Why should she pay me for the truth? Hon, we’ve got both the same opinion about you, you’re sexy.”  
“Do you flirt with my fiancé?” Sara reentered the room and smirked. She had heard the last words.  
“Guilty.”   
“He carried me.”  
“Well, you can’t walk to the window right now.”  
“He said he stays with you.”  
“Yes, he helps with Tobey and we rearrange the house. Preparing everything for Saturday.”  
“I’ll be the one who will help you with the shower and undressing.” Felix smiled.  
“Dream on. That’s the job of my fiancé. Or my mother. Sweety, my mom called me yesterday. Somebody must have told her I’m in hospital…” Sofia didn’t say Sara did to that but she also didn’t say she didn’t believe Sara hadn’t said anything to her mother.   
“She called two days ago. I tried to reach her the whole time but her cell isn’t working in Europe.” Sofia’s parents were in Europe on holiday and Sara had no idea how she could reach them. She tried a few hotels when Sofia was in coma but the captain and her husband had left them all. Sara had no other choice than waiting until Sofia’s parents called her.   
“She’ll be here on Sunday. They couldn’t change their flights and reservations earlier.” Sofia wasn’t sure if she was thankful for that or not.   
“Don’t look this surprised. Their daughter is in hospital, of course they want to be here.” Even for Sara, who never had this kind of parents, it was clear that Sofia’s parents wanted to be here with their daughter. It was natural – or at least it should be natural for parents to be with their child when it was injured.   
“Perfect timing, I have to leave Saturday afternoon.” Felix said.  
“I want to come with you, I miss dancing to your music already.”  
“I’ll get you some recordings and we’ll dance next week.”  
“Felix, I can’t dance anymore.”  
“You can’t dance at the moment, not anymore. And we’ll develop a wheelchair dance. A pretty cool one.”  
“Crazy guy.” Sofia had to laugh. It felt good that everybody seemed to believe her palsy was only for a period of time. That gave her some strength to believe the same. She’d do everything to get out of the wheelchair as fast as possible.   
“That’s me. I’ll leave you alone and take care of the baby. We’ll walk back home, make a little stopover at a supermarket and buy some dinner. Anything special I should smuggle in here for you, Sofia?”  
“Chocolate. Heaps of chocolate.”  
“I think I can arrange that. Maybe I can get a chocolate mud cake, heat it up before I come here tomorrow, cover it in cream and bring a fresh coffee also with cream.”  
“I think I fell in love with this guy right now.”  
“Too late Lieutenant Lascivious, you’re taken by Supervisor Sexy. Why didn’t you get this idea two years ago?”  
“I could get my own chocolate and coffee at that time.”  
“See, in a few weeks you can do that again and then you’d kick me out of your life. No, stay with your fiancé, I don’t want you anymore…even if I don’t believe that while I say it.” He laughed.   
“Neither do I. See you tomorrow. Take care of the baby and my lovely girlfriend.”  
“Will do. Bye bye, see you later, Sara.”  
“See you and thanks.”  
“My pleasure. I carried Lieutenant Lascivious to bed…” Felix left grinning the room.   
The two women laughed. He was cute.   
“If I ever will not be Lieutenant Lascivious?”  
“Yes, when you’re Captain Cute.” Sara sat next to Sofia and took her hand.  
“It will take some time until I can be a captain. A wheel chair is nothing that will push my promotion.”  
“Even without wheelchair it wouldn’t be possible this year. By the time you are due for a promotion you’ll run like a young God.”  
“You think.” Sofia smiled.   
“I know. I know my stubborn girlfriend. If you really want to walk again you will do it. Sooner than anybody thinks. Like you will leave the hospital sooner than anybody thought. Somebody told me today, you can leave next weekend not because the doc thoughts it’s a good idea. It was your idea.”  
“I can’t stay here longer, that’s not healthy for me.”  
“You’re sure it isn’t too early? He said, he wants you in another week.”  
“For stupid tests. When my parents come, they’ll be there and I won’t be alone. They won’t leave after a week. I can sit in a bed at home, I prefer our bed. As far as I know I can still read and take the medicine. I promise I won’t OD.”  
“I hope so.” Sara’s eyes became sad.  
“Hey.” Sofia pulled her lover closer. “I won’t do anything stupid. I thought about it when they told me about the wheelchair, I thought for a second, there’s no reason to live anymore. A stupid second. My reason to live in here, right in front of me. As long as you’re there, I want to live. I want to marry you. You asked me, you won’t get out of this.”  
“I don’t want to.” Sara smiled a little.  
Sofia caught a tear of her girlfriend with her index finger. “No need to cry. I’ll come home to you on Saturday and become your desperate housewife.”  
“I’m sure you won’t be that for too long. They’ll let you work again.”  
“Yeah, office work. Great.”  
“Honey, you can’t chase criminals in a wheelchair.”  
“Down the hill I’d be unbeatable. A baseball bat and I can knock them out, a little bit like a knight at a tournament.”  
“You’re sure your head is alright?” Sara laughed.   
“As good as always.”  
“That explains everything. You were always crazy.”  
“You like that.”  
“I do.” Sara hugged Sofia and stayed a few seconds in her arms. “And I’ll get a huge chocolate mud cake for your coming home. If you want, I’ll even get chocolate cream and put some little chocolate bars on top of the cake.”  
“What about chocolate sauce?”  
“You can also have chocolate sauce on your cake.”  
“I thought more on top of you for later. I don’t need legs to lick chocolate sauce from your skin.”  
“I think about it.” Sara kissed Sofia. She liked her fiancé much better saying things like this than thinking that she’s worthless or any other stupid stuff. 

“I’m so happy to be back.” Sofia pulled her arms around Sara.   
She was back home. Against the advice of her doctor she left the hospital today, one day later than she had planed. Her parents and Sara were there, took her home in her wheelchair. The only good thing about being in hospital for two weeks was, Sofia had managed to work her new transport very well. She could leave the wheelchair without any problems and get herself into bed or in the bathroom. With a lot of swearing and time she even managed to take a shower alone. That brought her some trouble with the nurse when they found out but Sofia didn’t care. She knew she was ready to go home, she only needed some proof and after she managed to do everything herself, she was sure, she could stay at home alone when Sara was working.   
“I missed you.”  
“Nights can be pretty lonely when you’re alone in your bed.” Sofia kissed Sara. “Did you have any nightmares?”  
“I didn’t sleep good but no, no nightmare. Not like I used to have them.”  
“I knew there’s a reason why I have to come home ASAP. Gonna chase all these little suckers away.”  
“I know you’ll do a good job. Do you feel alright?”  
“Perfect. I’m with you. No pain, nothing.”  
“Good. I was afraid it was a little bit too much for you today.”  
“Well, my mother was very protecting, she ruined some of my nerves, but I know she tries to do the best for me. She’ll see that I don’t need a babysitter. I do need some help, as much as that sucks, I can’t get everything, but I can maintenance the most important things. You did a good job with the house.”  
“Thanks.” It took two days for the builder to change their bathroom into a wheelchair friendly bathroom. Their deep shower was gone and a new shower that allowed Sofia roll in it, close the curtain and have a shower was there. As Sofia said, enough place for her and Sara, what they had tried an hour before. Some bold-on holds around the toilet, the mirror was exactly over the basin now, so that Sofia could see something and her stuff got a new little cupboard next to the basin.   
“I’ve to work out how to use the oven best but there’s no point in changing the whole house I don’t plan to stay long in that thing. The bathroom was necessary, the rest is optimal. I’ll make some pizza for us, that’s easy. No five star dinner.”  
“I don’t need a five star dinner, I’m fine with a salad and you. And as I told you in hospital, you’re not my housewife, I can cook too.”  
“I’ll have to do something, housework will be my work until I can go back to police work. They want me to stay away for another two weeks. Tobey and me will figure out how we can have long walks without trouble. I need a four-wheel drive wheelchair.”  
“There are plenty of sealed roads. Don’t you dare to go off road, get lost somewhere, fall out of the wheelchair, break an arm or worse or whatever you might think will be fun.” Sara could see her lover leaving the sealed road and going off road, getting stuck in some mud, falling out of the wheelchair, breaking bones. She wouldn’t be surprise if Sofia called her in the middle of the afternoon to tell her, she was lost in the forest, couldn’t come out of the mud, a hole or whatever.   
“You don’t trust me.”  
“No.”  
“If we get married, you should trust me.”  
“I trust you in most parts, being sensible isn’t one of it. You’re too crazy. Like chasing bad guys without protection.”  
“A bullet proofed vest would not have stopped the bullet. The vest isn’t long enough.”  
“I didn’t say that. But I know you like chasing guys without protection. You followed the shooter on your first case on graveyard shift before one of the officers could react.”  
“If they are so slow…I followed the evidence, that’s what I told Grissom.”  
“And just like me he didn’t believe you.”  
“Can’t prove me wrong. I brought a gun back.” Sofia smiled. Case closed within a few hours thanks to her.   
“Smug bitch. There was a reason why I didn’t like you.”  
“Now you love it.”  
“You think.”  
“I know.”  
“Sometimes I like your smug smile, yes.”  
“I knew it.” She pulled herself up, balanced her weight for a second on her left arm, got the right one over Sara and was on top of the brunette. At least most of her body was.  
“I’ve to work on this. Stupid legs don’t follow.”  
“Well.” Sara wrapped her arms around Sofia and rolled herself on top of Sofia. “In that case you’ve to give up. I won.”  
“That’s not fair.”  
“Not fair but a triumph for me.” Sara started to kiss Sofia’s face, nibbled on the ears of the blonde. She moaned when Sofia’s left hand touched her nipples and started to rub them gently.   
“You’re not playing fair either.”  
“I’ve to use what I have.” Sofia used her free hand to keep Sara close to her. It would take some time until they had found their rhythm new but she was sure, they’d enjoy trying and getting better. 

May

“Hey Hon, how are you?” Sara hung her keys on the key hooks.  
“Almost dead.”  
“What?” Sara stopped in the middle of going to the kitchen and went straight to the living room from where Sofia’s voice came.  
“I chased paperclips, thumbtacks, hole puncher and folder. I tell you one more day like this and I’m dying. My mind, heart and pulse will stop because they are all too bored.” Sofia was sitting in front of the computer, shooting some people on the screen.   
“So you get your blood running by some killings on the screen?”   
“Yes, some real police work. Chasing bad guys.” Sofia put the joystick away, grabbed Sara’s waist and pulled her on her lap to kiss her.   
“I missed you too. It’s not nice not be out in the field, it’s even worse not to work with you anymore.” Since two months was she paraplegic, since one month was she back in her job, doing office work and she hated it.   
“I miss seeing you when I come to a crime scene. I really do.” Sara snuggled into Sofia’s arms.   
“If these stupid legs would work like they used to…”  
“What did your physiotherapist say?” Sofia had an appointment with her physiotherapist today. Four times a week she was there for an hour, trying to get her ability to walk back. So far nothing had changed.  
“Patience. Patience. Patience. Little fucker, he’s not sitting in this bloody thing. I bet if he’d be in my shoes he wouldn’t be patience.”  
“If he would be in your shoes, I’d be his fiancé. You want that?”  
“No!” Sofia smiled and kissed Sara. “No way. I worked hard to get you, I keep you, no matter what. And I cooked, it’s in the oven and should be ready for us in five minutes.”  
“What did you cook?” Sara could stop herself from adding something like ‘my lovely housewife’ the last moment.   
“Well, after I’ve got so much time.” Sofia was only working half a day for the next two months. “I though I’d try something new. We gonna have some Korean chicken stew.” Sara didn’t bother to ask why Sofia cooked her chicken, knowing she was a vegetarian. She was sure, the blonde had thought of that and found a way to present a chicken free dinner to Sara.   
“And they make stew in the oven?”  
“No, but it was ready two hours ago, got cold and I put it in the oven to get it warm together with the fresh bread I baked. If you say something like housewife I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” Sofia warned Sara, knowing what her girlfriend was thinking.   
“These words would never cross my mind.” Sara tried to look as innocence as possible.  
“Liar.”  
“Lover.”  
“Yes. My lover.”  
“Indeed. Did your mother call?” Sofia’s look told Sara more than words. Yes, she had called and it was very likely that her mother had told her, she would come around in the near future. It was written all over Sofia’s face.  
“When will she be here?”  
“Tomorrow. And my dad is coming too.”  
“Oh wow, that’s short-dated.”  
“She booked everything a few days ago, never bothered to ask us. I’m here anyway. Does she think just because I’m caught in this thing I don’t have a life anymore?” Sofia got angry.   
Sara took the face of her lover and kissed her gently. Sofia had a life. Besides working in the office of the police station and being a housewife (which she wasn’t) her and Sara used every day off, they had together to go away. They had just three weeks ago started to go back to the national parks and state forests. Thanks to the internet and their good guide books, they had a long list of walking tracks that were wheelchair suitable.   
“Don’t try to distract me by kissing me. That works all the time.”  
“I know but it’s not the reason why I do it.”  
“Not? I could swear that was the reason.”  
“No. I missed your lips, I like kissing you and I love you. Three better reasons to kiss you than distracting, don’t you think?”  
“Yes.” Sofia sighed. “I have no idea what I’d do without you.”  
“You’d eat too much chocolate.”  
“It’s better for you not to mention that…I’m still mad with you.” Sara had put all the chocolate on top of the shelf. Sofia had eaten a huge bar in one day and Sara had made the decision that was enough for the rest of the week. There was nothing Sofia could do to get the chocolate back. She had thought about pushing the shelf so that everything would fall down, then again, there were some fragile things on the shelf and she didn’t want to destroy half of the house.   
“I’m still in love with you.”  
“Saying things like that isn’t fair.”  
“Which doesn’t change anything of that you love hearing it and that it’s true.”  
“Yes.” Sofia tried to look with the evil eyes at Sara but she couldn’t. She had to laugh, she had to kiss her fiancé and hug her. “Come on, Honey, it’s time to eat. You wanna have a lift to the kitchen?”  
“You’ll crash my kneecap when we try to roll through the door. I’ll walk.”  
“Okay.” Sofia let Sara get up again.   
“What’s in your Korean dish?”  
“For you it’s carrots, potatoes, some capsicum and onions, for me there’s also some chicken. With that rice.”  
“Sounds good. Spicy?”  
“You bet.”  
“I love having you home early. You cook so many interesting things.”  
“Shut up.”  
“I mean that, Sofia.” Sara stopped and sat on Sofia’s lap again, kissing her cheek. Yesterday Sofia had cooked them ‘coq au vin’ or as she told Sara with a smile, rooster in red wine, the day before she had made something from South Africa, Sara had wondered what was in and how Sofia had managed to get all the ingredients. It was like Sofia brought them every day to another country by having a meal.   
“I’m not teasing you. I really love that. I love that you try new things, that you bring the world to us. Even if it’s only in a meal, it’s really great. I envy you for doing that. You’ve got a lot of hidden talents, talents I had no idea you had.”  
“Believe until this accident I had no idea that I can cook. When you find the right web pages it’s not that difficult.”  
“It’s an art and I do enjoy it.”  
“I enjoyed our mouse au chocolate yesterday.”  
“Of course you did.” Sara kissed her lover. “You enjoy everything with chocolate. That reminds me, did I get a letter today?”  
“You got a big letter, yes.”  
“Perfect.” Sara jumped from Sofia’s lap. “Where?”  
“On the bench.” Sofia furrows her brows. What was special about this letter? It was big, it was heavy, Sofia had thought, it’s another of Sara’s science books, but she wasn’t usually that excited about them. Maybe Grissom wrote a book and she got copy with signature.   
“And?”  
“It’s what I was waiting for. Actually it’s for you.”  
“For me?”   
“Yes.” Sara got the book and handed it over to Sofia. A little bit skeptical Sofia opened the envelope.   
“Recipes with Nutella.”  
“Yes, you love chocolate, you love chocolate spread, something very odd to me but well, you love it and I love you, so got this book for you. Over hundred recipes with your favorite chocolate spread and you can cook whatever you want. From Nutella pancake with bananas to Nutella pudding to strange things like Nutella fruit mini pizza and Mexican salad with Nutella. Strange, very strange.”  
“We’ll have a chocolate meal every day. Oh, I love you.” Sofia hugged Sara.   
“Let’s say every second day. I’d like to have some chocolate free days and you won’t get more than one glass per week.”  
“And boom, I love you less.”  
“But you still love you.”  
“Won’t change, not even for chocolate.”  
“Good to know.” Sara kissed Sofia’s hair. “Get the plates, I’ll get the food.”  
“Yes my love.”

“What can I do for you, Sofia?”   
Sofia sighed. She loved her parents, no question, but right now she wanted them to go away. Far, far away. She needed some time, some space, a chance to breath.   
“You could take Tobey for a walk. He can only go along the sealed roads with me and he’d enjoy a run off the roads.”  
“Are you sure?” Her father asked.  
“Yes, very sure. He misses the walks when he can run free. Sara hasn’t got the time to give him two hours of free running, I can’t do it right now and it breaks my heart to see how my baby suffers because of me.” That was a little bit exaggerated but it was the only thing she could think of to get her parents away. Trying to let it sound like she was desperate for a long walk for her dog.   
“Okay, we can do that.” Her parents took the leash and got Tobey. The Rottweiler was happy to get a walk but not as happy as he was when he could go out with Sara and Sofia. That was his perfect walk. With his two moms out in a national or state park.   
Sofia took a deep breath when she was alone. Finally. Some quiet time. She rolled over to the computer, started the internet and checked her emails. A mail from Felix, with an attachment. What did he send her? Surprise. She wasn’t sure if she liked surprises right now but gave it a try.   
The name of the file was ‘4 Lieutenant Lascivious’ and it seemed to be a song. She opened it. Some voice came out of the speaker and then there was Felix’ voice.  
“I gonna sing this song for a great friend of mine, a real hot chick who can’t be here. I miss her but I’m sure she’ll be here very soon, dancing and turning not only my head. Here’s for you, my lovely Lieutenant Lascivious a very special song and everybody who has somebody special close, grab this person, it’s time to hug and maybe a little bit more. Because we all love to hug, kiss and love – always.” The band started playing and immediately there were goose bumps all over Sofia’s skin. Felix had sent her an audio file of him playing ‘Always’, the song, Sara had kissed her the first time. Not a studio version, that she always wanted to have but never got the time to look for a record studio where she could send him, but a live version. Somebody must have recorded it with a cell phone, a camera or whatever. The sound wasn’t perfect, but it was good. And it was a surprise, a very special surprise.  
“Oh Felix, you’re the best.” She whispered. What a day, what a night. She had been so happy to be with Sara and the same time so sad because she was so in love and never thought she’d have a chance. There were men and women the whole evening who tried to get Sofia’s attention, she had dance with some of them, for a song, then she was back with Sara, who had also enjoyed some company. At one point, they had both lost their latest dance partner, they met in front of the stage and Sara had asked her to dance while Felix started to play this song. No question, Sofia had taken the chance, got Sara in her arms and they had danced. When Sofia asked her if she was sure, that she wanted to dance with her instead of the guy she had danced with the last, if she was sure that she won’t miss out a chance, Sara had pulled Sofia’s lips to hers and kissed her to explain with a lovely smile, she was taking a chance and not missing one. It was the happiest evening of Sofia’s life.   
“I love you also – always.” Out of the blue Sara’s lips were on Sofia’s lips, kissing her.   
“Hey.” Sofia opened her eyes. There she was, her dream woman. Kneeing next to her, having her arms around Sofia, her lovely brown eyes checking on her, her lips kissing Sofia’s face and her hands stroking her back.   
“Why are you crying?” Sara kissed a tear away.  
“Happiness.” Sofia searched for Sara’s lips and kissed her.  
“You remember our evening.”  
“Yes.” That evening was simply ‘our evening’ for them. No more words were necessary, it was their evening.   
“Felix has sent me a recording of this song today. He must have played it for us and got somebody to record it. I really have to get a studio for him, he has the list of songs I want him to play.” This one would be on top of her list.   
“He’s doing a good job.”  
“He’s perfect. I’m sure his boss is happy to have him.”  
“He is.” Sara got up, not letting Sofia’s hands go. “Where are your parents?”  
“Out with Tobey.”  
“He’ll like that.”  
“So do I. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”  
“That’s a quote of Noel Coward.”  
“He got the point.”  
“What did they do to annoy you?”  
“They were overprotecting. I’m quite good in taking care of myself, I don’t need a shadow following me every where.”  
“Do you need a fiancé sitting on your lap?”  
“Yes!” Sofia opened her arms with a wide grin.   
“Good.” Sara sat on Sofia’s lap and put her head on the blonde’s shoulder.   
“How was your day? Hard cases?”  
“Nothing big, a robbery, four break-ins last night, one assault. Fresno is nice quiet at the moment. The bad boys wait until you’re back in the ring. They need somebody who can give them a challenge.”  
“Until I’m a challenge again…they have to be patience.”  
“And then you’ll kick their ass.”  
“I don’t kick donkeys Sara, I’m an animal right activist. I’ll kick some arses.”  
“Oooh, there’s the sexy Queen’s English. You know, you make me will-less when you speak like that.”  
“Well, I told my parents to take a long walk, we’re alone. I can take advantage of you being will-less. Watch your knees.” Sofia turned the wheelchair. They should have an hour at least until Sofia’s parents were back. The perfect opportunity in her eyes. 

July

Back to where everything started. After they had returned last July to Silver Lake, Sara and Sofia were back this year.   
“I liked the two times before more.” Sofia said. She was still in the wheelchair and was very annoyed. The shooting was almost half a year ago, how much longer did she have to be patience?   
“You think you can enjoy it?” Sara wasn’t sure if it was a good idea that they came here. Yes, it was their special place and yes, they had always enjoyed it here, but Sofia’s mood got worse every day.   
“I try to.” Sofia got herself on the bed, leaned back and closed her eyes.   
Sara brought their stuff in the bathroom, put the drinks in the fridge and stayed for a while next to the window, looking out. The streets were quiet, it was hot outside, too hot to take Tobey out for a walk. He enjoyed the cold stone floor in the bathroom and snored quietly.   
“You don’t want to come to me?”   
“Sorry.” Sara turned and sat next to Sofia. The blonde opened her eyes, sadness was in them. She took Sara’s hand.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“What for?”  
“For being me, for being moody, for being a pain in the ass. I annoy myself with this mood, I wish I could simply stop being like this and be the old Sofia again. I’ve got the feeling to fall every day a little bit more apart and kill our relationship by doing this.”  
“I love you, Sofia.”  
“Yes, you do. Right now. If I will go on like this you won’t anymore. And nobody can blame you for it.”  
“I love you.” Sara took Sofia’s face between her hands. “Yes, you are complicated and yes, you make it sometimes difficult for me and yes, you are moody. But no, I won’t stop loving you. My love for you isn’t getting less, it’s still growing. With every day. I told you I’m not that easy to have. I’m also not that easy to get rid off.”  
“I don’t want to get rid off you. You are my life, the reason why I’m still alive, the reason why I still fight and don’t give up.” Sofia pulled Sara in her arms, trying to hide the tears. She wanted to have all back. She wanted everything to be like last year.   
“We knew it would be hard. As long as we both don’t give up it won’t get us down, don’t you think?”  
“I know I don’t want to be without you.” Sofia pulled Sara even closer.   
“And I don’t want to be without you.”  
“Don’t you miss anything?”  
“Like what?”  
“Like going dancing, an overnight hike, surfing, a partner who can drive you home after a party.”  
“I can dance, I can hike with you, sleep in a cabin and hike the next day, I’m sure if I want to go surfing you won’t stop me and you know what I think of alcohol, I never missed it. It was never a problem to drive instead of drinking. What I miss is a happy fiancé. It breaks my heart to see you sad. I want you to be happy again.”  
“I try to.”  
Sara got her arm under Sofia’s head, kissed her cheek and held her close.   
“You know what they say at weddings?”  
“What?”  
“In good and bad times. We have a bad time right now, so let’s see if we’re strong enough, if our love is strong enough, to cope with that. I’m sure if we survive this we’ll survive everything. It’s our final test.”  
“That sounds like you’ve got a wedding date in mind.” Sofia had to smile. Her Sara. She could always make her smile, no matter how bad Sofia’s mood was.   
“I didn’t think about a date, I thought about the kind of wedding. What to wear.”  
“I’ll choose something for you.”  
“Do you want to tell me this way that I’ve got no taste?” Sara pinched Sofia gently.   
“I’d never say that.”  
“You just did.”  
“Let me finish my sentence, love. I was thinking that I choose your dress and you choose mine. So much for your theory.”  
“You got yourself out of trouble in the last second.”  
“I was never in trouble, you didn’t trust me.”  
“I know that you try to talk me into your suits…”  
“You wear suits, you did it all the time.”  
“You barely wear anything else.”  
“We don’t dress up the same way, which is alright. We’re allowed to have our own taste. I’d like to wear something you chose for me. Whatever it will be, I’ll love it.”  
“I love you in black, not the right color for a wedding.”  
“Depends on where we get married. As far as I know in some Asian countries, black is a color for happiness.”  
“I found out that when we get married in Massachusetts, we have to move back to there if we ever want a divorce. They allow a divorce only if the people live in the state for at least a year.”  
“I don’t want a divorce, I want to marry you.” Sofia looked confuse. Divorce? Why should want to ask for a divorce? She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Sara.   
“Just telling you that you can’t say later you didn’t know the consequences.”  
“Sounds like you want to read my rights to me.”  
“Nah, you’re a good officer, you know them.”  
“Officer?” Sofia turned around, fire in her eyes. “Officer? Did you say officer?”  
“Yes, I did, rookie.” Sara rolled out of Sofia’s arms to get a safety area between them.   
“I need my cuffs!”  
“Don’t bother to look for them, Honey.”  
“I packed them! In case something like this would happen.”  
“I know, I unpacked them.” Sara smiled sweet. She had seen the cuffs and had put them away. On the top shelf of their wardrobe, Sofia wouldn’t get them back any time soo. Only if she started to walk again.   
“You did what?” Sofia stopped in her movement to her suitcase and all her attention was on Sara.   
“I unpacked your cuffs. And your gun. We gonna have holidays like an ordinary couple.” This would be fun. She had wondered how long it would take until she had the right moment to tell Sofia all these things.   
“If I get you in my hands…”  
“You won’t, I’ll take care of that.”  
“Sooner or later you have to come back. You’ll get tired and then I’ll be here, ready to punish you. Unpacking my cuffs and my gun. Leaving me naked. I’m naked. I’m without the two things that make me a lieutenant. It’s like losing the badge. My badge…no, I have it in my wallet and my wallet is in my pocket. Or did you steal that one too?”  
“I didn’t touch your badge.”  
“That might save your life.”  
“You know by threaten to kill me, you’re violating the law.”  
“Stealing is a crime too.”  
“I didn’t steal anything. Your gun and your cuffs are neatly in the closet.” At last thet gun was.   
“If you didn’t do anything wrong why did you run away from me?”  
“Because you don’t think that I didn’t do anything wrong. You’re living in your own little world, with your own little rights.”  
“I like my own little world, everybody knows me there and is kind to me.” Sofia grumped.   
“Do I still hold a visa for that world?”  
“Your visa is close to expire. I’m not sure if you’ll get an extension.”  
“Maybe I can influence the decision with a gift.” Sara got a little box out of her suitcase and threw it to Sofia, keeping the distance so that the lieutenant couldn’t grab her. She knew, paraplegic or not, if she came too close to Sofia, the blonde would grab her. She was fast and she didn’t need her legs to move fast on the bed.   
“Do you try to corrupt a lieutenant?”  
“I’d never buy an officer.”  
“She did it again. She said it again. If I could walk, you’d be restrained on the bed and you’d stay here for the rest of the evening.”  
“Your cuffs wouldn’t be here.”   
“Bitch.”  
“Shut up and open your present, officer.”  
“One day I gonna get you for this.”  
“I plan to spend my life with you, you’ll have plenty of time to come after me.”  
“Believe me, I will.” Sofia opened her little gift box. That couldn’t be true. How much did she have to take today?   
“You’re kidding me, aren’t you?”  
“No. I thought that’s perfect when you’re back in the job. They are special.”  
“Half of my colleagues and criminal would die because of laughing.” Sofia held her gift up. Sara had bought her lover fluffy handcuffs. In pink. Sofia had no idea what was worse, the fact that the handcuffs were fluffy or the color. Both together was…what was she supposed to do with that?   
“Lieutenant Fluffy.”  
“Come here.”  
“Why?” Sara asked suspicious.   
“You gave me a gift, I want to thank you. Usually I thank my fiancé with a kiss.”  
“Do you?”  
“Yes. A friend gets a thanks, my fiancé gets a kiss. Maybe two. Hell, her lips are delicious, three.”  
“I will believe you – this time.” Sara came back to the bed. Sofia got her arms around Sara, pulled her close and kissed her.   
“I love you.” Sofia kissed Sara again. “More than anything or anybody in the world.”  
“I love you too.”  
“But you have to be punished.” And with these words she got the fluffy handcuffs around Sara’s wrists. “Gotcha.”  
“I knew I can’t trust you.” Sara rolled her eyes. She knew it. Sofia needed a reason to get her in her arms to punish her. Was the kiss worth being caught? Yes, it was. A kiss of Sofia was worth everything. And at least, she was caught by her lieutenant, she was close to her. It wasn’t that bad.   
“No, you can’t.” Sofia pulled Sara on the mattress and rolled on top of her. “And now you’re helpless, have to pray for some mercy, I might…”  
“Sofia, shut up and kiss me.” Why waste any time for evil speeches and threats if there was something better to do? She would listen to all the things Sofia wanted to tell her, what she wanted to do to her, later. Now she wanted some more kisses.   
“You’re ruining my evil speech…who cares?” Sofia’s lips met Saras and they dived into a long kiss. Maybe Sofia could replace her cuffs with the fluffy ones – for this weekend. And only on Sara. 

“Oh look who’s there.”   
Sara and Sofia turned. They had taken Tobey around the water reservoir and watched their dog playing at the dog playground now. The man with his dog who just entered the area was no stranger to them.  
“Tobey, Mariposa is here.” There was no real need that Sofia told her dog the arrival of the other dog. Tobey had seen her and was on his way to greet the brownish dog he had played with every day last year.   
“Seems like they still know each other.” Eric smiled when the two dogs took off.   
“Yes, they do. How are you?”  
“I’m fine. I can see, you’re not that fine.”  
“It’s temporary – they say.” Sofia grimaced.   
“How long?”  
“That’s a good question, this temporary is since almost half a year. I’m getting crazy in here.”  
“What happened?”  
“Got shot.”  
“A work accident.”  
“Yeah, the only good thing about it. I took a bullet in honor.”  
“Stupid cop talking.” Sara said. She couldn’t find anything good in taking a bullet. It was a work accident and not an honor. Like she didn’t think cops died in honor when somebody killed them while they were working, it was a unnecessary death and not an honored death.   
“That’s something you don’t understand, honey.”  
“No, I don’t.”  
“But I can see rings on your hands, you got married. You found a way.”  
“They are engagement rings, we’re not married yet.” Sara stroke Sofia’s shoulder. “We’re talking about it, planning it.”  
“I won’t get married until I can walk again. I can’t roll down the aisle.”  
“Patience.” Eric smiled.  
“I hate this word.” Sofia grumped. “A month yes, that’s a time span to be patience. Almost half a year is an eternity.”  
“Not easy to cope for you. You can’t walk anymore, that means you can’t work like before anymore and as far as I remember you loved your job.”  
“I do. I’m an office lieutenant, a job I really hate. Sitting in an office, I’m not a pen-pusher. Beside that it’s hard for Sara because of my mood. I don’t make it easy for her.” Sofia took Sara’s hand.   
“It’s not easy for you. Us.” Sara smiled. They had a hard time, yes, she had doubted that this holiday was a good idea, after Sofia got her little present, they had some fun with the fluffy cuffs. Right now they were hanging from the ceiling in their room. They had to take them down in the morning before the room service came in.   
“This is a test for your relationship. You manage that and you’ll manage everything.”  
“That’s what we think.”   
“Maybe she’ll leave me here. That would explain why she unpacked half of my stuff.” Sofia grinned.   
“Yes. It’s all in parcels and they are on their way to here. Yes, I kicked you out of our house without telling you. Well, now you know. Enjoy Los Angeles.”  
“Maybe we’ll skip the wedding and go straight to the divorce.”   
“I think you’ll be fine with the wedding. Teasing is a way of showing love.”  
“It was our first way of showing that we like each other.” Sara grinned. She and Sofia had teased each other all the time, it was their kind of foreplay. They had done that before they’d thought about that there might be anything more than a friendship.   
“I can’t tell you everything will be alright, Sofia.” Eric said. “But I can tell you, you can loose more important things than the ability to walk. Losing your eyesight would be worse and if I appraise your relationship, losing Sara would be worse. She’s there for you, she wants to stay with you, it’s up to you to keep it that way. Nobody else can help you with that. If she offers you her love, take it and give her the same thing back. It will be difficult but always remember a partner is the most important thing in your life. At least if it’s true love. I can cope with losing everything but my wife. They can have everything, the house, my health, whatever they want, but not my wife. There’s no way I could cope without her for longer than a week.”  
Sara sighed. That was something nice to say.   
“I hope your wife knows that.”  
“I tell her, I show her and I hope she understands. Sometimes women are stubborn.”  
“That’s true.” Sofia laughed. “Honey, when I’m a pain in the butt it’s my way to say I love you.”  
“I prefer to hear it in another way.”  
“Sometimes you have to take what you get.”  
“Something fluffy?”  
“Shut up.” Sofia shot the evil eyes to Sara. That was not funny. That was…okay, maybe it was funny. A little bit.

“I’m happy that Eric still walks Mariposa at the same time he did last year. It was good to see him again, to talk to him again.” Sara sat on the bed and closed her eyes.  
“Yeah, he’s funny. Oh, you’re married. No, not yet.” Sofia took one look at her fiancé and made the decision she looked like she needed a boost. From the fridge the blonde got two cokes and some chocolate. Sara wouldn’t see chocolate as a boost, Sofia did.   
“Here, get some energy.” She placed the ice cold can at Sara’s forehead. The brunette flinched and opened her eyes.   
“Cold!”  
“Yes, I put them in the freezer shelve, now they’re perfect.”  
“Caffeine at night time, you don’t want to sleep?” Sara grinned.  
“Not in the next few hours. I want to watch a movie with you, have another little walk with Tobey and then talk to you.”  
“Talk to me? On schedules? Sounds serious?”  
“No, I don’t mean it like that. I mean like, we have some time for talking, there’s nothing around that can distract us. We haven’t finished talking about the wedding dress. I’d like to know what you imagine for me to wear. I simply want to talk with you, like we did the first time we met here. It was so great. Sitting around, talking about everything and nothing. I really like talking to you, I like listening to your voice.”  
“You’re sweet.” Sara kissed Sofia. “We can talk. Snuggle up in bed, having some quiet music from the radio and talk. Probably I gonna smuggle a kiss or two in the conversation, I hope that’s okay for you.”  
“Raise it up to a dozen and we’ve got a deal.” Sofia grinned.   
“Approved.”  
“Do you think Tobey will mind if we skip the walk? He’s snoring loud, I’m getting comfy in your arms…”  
“Don’t get comfortable, I’ll jump under the shower when I finished my coke.”  
“Is there a chance that I can join you?”  
“Fill out a form, I gonna think about it and let you know if your request will be approved.”  
Sofia kissed Sara softly. “Do you take that as a official request?”  
“Maybe when you send another one…”  
Sofia’s lips met Saras again, this time more passionately.   
“Approved.”  
“I knew it was a good idea to put a reference in my application.”  
“Who is your reference?”  
“A hot brunette CSI geek who used to work in Vegas on Graveyard shift.”  
“Wendy isn’t working anymore?”  
“I don’t know…but yeah, she was kind of hot too…”  
“You’re risking your approved form.”  
“You can’t be that mean.”  
“Wanna bet?”  
“Could you?” Sofia looked at Sara with puppy eyes. The brunette started laughing.   
“No, not when you look like that.” How could she refuse anything Sofia said when she was looking like that?   
“I knew it.” A little smile appeared on the blonde’s face. She knew how to get Sara to the point where she wanted her.   
“You’re playing me.”  
“Like a suspect.”  
“You ask a suspect to have a shower together?”  
“If it brings me closer to my goal, I’d ask. I wouldn’t do it, but that’s a thing I don’t have to mention.”  
“Ice cold bitch.”  
“In your arms I melt.”  
“Sure. Get naked, Lieutenant. I want my shower soon. Gonna put some vegetables in the microwave and cook the pasta. By the time we’re done everything should be ready for dinner. If I remember right there are some candles in my bag. We can have a candle light dinner on the balcony, watching the sun going down and talk like we did two years ago.”  
“Two years ago you didn’t miss me enough to follow me under the shower.”  
“That did leave a scar on your ego, didn’t it?”  
“Yes.”  
“Even a Sofia Curtis gets a negative answer every now and then.”  
“I’d get nothing else if I’d ask anybody now.”  
“Don’t ask the wrong person, ask me and you’ll get a positive response.” Sara blinked at her lover and walked in the little kitchenette.   
“I don’t want to ask anybody else.” Sofia mumbled, got into her wheelchair, closed the curtains and started to undress herself. There was no reason to ask anybody than Sara. 

“You know, this is a really nice spot.” Sofia lifted her bottle of beer. They had their shower, finished their dinner outside and had a beer with some chocolate.   
“It’s quiet, it has the sunset and we can see the Hollywood Sign. The place we’ll go to tomorrow.”  
“Excited?” Sara grinned. Was it something special to go to Hollywood? Was it meant to be special because a lot famous people lived there? Famous people meant a lot of tourists, a lot of paparazzi, nothing that made a spot interesting for Sara. No, she preferred her Silver Lake. She preferred a quiet, friendly area.   
“Do you know why the houses here are so beautiful?”  
“No, but I’m sure you found out and you’ll tell me. I haven’t had a science or general knowledge lesson in ages.”  
“You told me you like to listen to my voice.” Sara smirked. “So shut up and listen. Richard Neutra, a famous architect has designed a lot of houses here, his own one is on the Boulevard, Silver Lake Boulevard, the one we walked on today. I haven’t found out yet where it exactly is, I’ll try to do that tomorrow. I saw a lot of beautiful houses while we walked around the water reservoir.”  
“Is he still alive?”  
“No, he died in 1970.”  
“Do we have to go to his grave?”  
“He died in Germany, I doubt his grave is here.”  
“You know quite a lot about him. I didn’t know you are in architecture.” Sofia looked surprise to her girl friend. Yes, Sara was always good for a surprise.   
“I had a little research when I found out I like so many of the buildings here and this name popped up. So I read his short biography too.”  
“My smart lover. Is there anything you’re not interested in?”  
Sara started to think for a few seconds. “I’m not that into sport, but if we’d made the decision to visit a huge sport event, I’d get some information about the sport and the most important people in past and present of it. I like to know where I am, what I’m looking at and what it is in general. It’s the little geek in me, like you always say.”  
“I like this geek, it’s a cute geek. Being involved a little bit with a lieutenant, who wants to be a captain one day I’m sure you read something about this job too.”  
“I work in the law enforcement.”  
“Doesn’t mean anything.”  
“In the US police department a captain is above a lieutenant, is often in charge of a certain precinct. In your case it would be homicide. Because the job as a captain is usually hold by an officer with a lot of experience, it’s likely you’ll become a captain when you’re older. I doubt you’ll be a captain in the next five years. Maybe if your captain makes the decision to retire you’ve a better chance to become a young and sexy captain. But I’m afraid you’ll only be a sexy captain, not a young one.”  
“He’ll be there for another ten years.”  
“See, gives you plenty of time. Even if I’d like to call you Captain Cute.”  
“You spend too much time with Felix.”  
“You introduced me to him, the flying red shadow.”  
“Yes, the food thief. He’s in Fresno next weekend, wants to see us.”  
“I’m working but we can meet him in the club in the evening.”  
“Listen to his songs, I’d like that.”  
“Sounds like we’ve got a date.”  
“I like a date with you even more than listening to music.”  
“That’s what I hoped. By the way I got an email from Greg, they want to have another meeting of the old Graveyard shift. In early October. Are we interested in that?”  
“Seeing our old colleagues? Sure. I am. What’s about you?”  
“Yes. It’s nice to go back to Vegas for a few days.”  
“And leave it then, I know. Will Cath do some magic so that we can take Tobey in the casino again? Or do we have to look for a motel?”  
“I’m sure she’ll get us a room where we can take the baby. He’s a well behaved dog, he can stay in a casino hotel.”  
“Of course he’s well-behaved.” Sofia looked down at Tobey. The Rottweiler was asleep with an open ear, as a good dog was supposed to be. Had he become slightly wild and tougher to handle after he turned one, he had stopped that after Sofia’s accident. He barely hovered over Sofia. There was no chance he’d leave her wheelchair, only if she told him to go. Without that, he stayed be her side, not willing to leave her. It was like he thought, he had to take care of her, had to protect her.   
“Give me your plate, I’ll bring it inside and get us a new drink and some of these lovely pineapples covered with dark chocolate.”  
“You’ll always find an excuse to get some chocolate.” Sara smiled.   
“I don’t need an excuse. Chocolate is nothing you have to feel sorry or bad for. It’s good for you, it makes you happy, it’s one of the best things ever invented.” Sofia grinned. If there was a chocolate party somewhere? She should join a group of chocoholics, they’d understand her. How wonderful that must be, meeting people who also love chocolate, she could share so many recipes with them, have meetings and try chocolate in all shapes, tastes and colors. Oh, that sounded like heaven.   
Sara took another sip of her beer. They had planed first to go to a club tonight. There were a few on the Sunset Boulevard but then they had their dinner here and it was too nice to sit and talk. Sure they could sit and talk in a club but there was something about sitting here. Like two years ago. The view wasn’t that special, but it was nice not to get distracted all the time by something and they could have Tobey around them. The Rottweiler preferred to lie next to them than sitting in the car waiting for them.   
“Do you want children?”   
Sara almost spilled her beer through the veranda. Did she hear right?  
“What?”  
“Oh Sara.” Sofia started laughing. This reaction of her fiancé was priceless. Her eyes had turned huge, all the color vanished out of her face and that she didn’t faint was everything. Only for this entertaining reaction Sofia loved her. It was so easy to shock Sara and so much fun watching her being shocked.   
“I didn’t know children scare you so much.”  
“They don’t scare me…”  
“But?”  
“I never thought of that.”  
“Really never?”  
“Until this relationship children meant I have to stay at home, can’t work and I love my job too much to do that. So whenever the idea of children came up, I thought of my job and the consequences they have on my life and the thought was gone.”  
“So it’s more you don’t want to stop working but you don’t mind children?”  
“Yes. But if you want to be pregnant…”  
“I’m not the best pick.”  
“Honey, the child wouldn’t be paraplegic, it’s not a DNA thing. You should know that.”  
“I do know that.”  
“Good. For a moment I was afraid you forgot everything you learnt while you were a CSI.”  
“I knew that before. But don’t you think you’d be the better choice for a mother?”  
“No. If we’ll have a child I want to have it this stunning ice blue eyes of you. I want a little Sofia.”  
“And I want a little Sara.”  
“Well, in that case you have to get twins.”  
“I beg your pardon?” Now it was Sofia who looked shocked.   
“You’re the younger one, you can have twins.”  
“Don’t be ridiculous.”  
“I’m serious.”  
“Maybe children weren’t such a good idea.” Sofia grumped.  
Sara grinned. Wasn’t it amazing how fast a topic wasn’t that important anymore? All you have to do was changing the responsibilities.   
“No little Sara.” Sofia sighed.   
“There’d be a risk of fifty percent that the child is a boy…”  
“A boy with brown eyes and a little gap, how cute would that be? He’d be a heart breaker later. And boys are easier to handle – apparently.”  
“If you’re the one who’s pregnant children are welcome.”  
“I want to be a captain…”  
“Your mother is a captain and she has you. A child doesn’t mean you can’t be a captain.”  
“We’ll talk about this after we’re married.”  
“That’s a good idea.” Sara took Sofia’s hand. “I don’t want to change diapers in our honeymoon nor do I want you to drink orange juice when we celebrate our wedding. I’ve no idea how the law is with same sex marriage and adoption, but that would be an option too.”  
“Then it won’t look like you.”   
“We’ll look for a child with brown eyes. And one with blue eyes.”  
“A surrogate mother. None of us has to be pregnant, we can use your DNA and there’ll be a chance that it looks like you.” Sofia grinned. And both could go on working.  
“I didn’t know you’ve got so much money.”  
“I don’t.” She sighed.   
“First the wedding then the child. We’ll have enough work with the wedding.”  
“I’m sure your mother-in-law will take over if we ask.”  
“We won’t ask.”  
“Do we tell them?”  
“They are your parents, do you want them to know?” That wasn’t something Sara had to worry about. Her parents were dead and even they’d be alive, there’d be no way she wanted them to be around.   
“I have to think about that. I want the wedding to be like we want it and not like my mother want it. So yeah, maybe I’ll invite them for a short holiday and when they’re there and we’re on our way to the civil registry office, I’ll tell them what we’re about to do. They’ll be there but they can’t change anything.”  
“I like that idea.” Sara sat on Sofia’s lap. Children and the wedding. If these topics didn’t show they were an ordinary couple then she didn’t know what else they could do. 

Sofia opened her eyes. It was dark in the room and outside. Three in the morning, why was she awake? They went to bed a little bit over two hours ago. She should be sound asleep like Sara, who had her arms wrapped around Sofia. The blonde was caught and couldn’t imagine a better way of being stuck even if it was quite warm. They had turned off the air con and through the window came only a little bit of warm wind in the room.   
Children and wedding. Was there a better way to spend an evening talking than with these topics? Okay, it looked like Tobey would be their only baby for the next couple of months, probably forever, but it was nice talking about it. Sofia never had a strong desire of having a lot of children or a child at all. She had thought of it when she was in her mid-twenties but the job became too important to her. She could understand Sara’s arguments. And now that she wasn’t involved with a man, having children were more complicated. She wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to go through all the tests she had to do for an in vitro fertilization. They were so far happy without children, if there weren’t any children in their life, they’d be happy furthermore.   
“Shit!” Sofia hold on, even stopped breathing for a few seconds.   
“Sara!”   
Her fiancé mumbled something, got Sofia closer to herself and went back to sleep.   
“Sara!”  
“Mhm? What’s the matter?” Sara was more asleep than she was awake. It was only the alert sound of Sofia’s voice that kept her awake. “Does Tobey have to go out?”  
“No, he’s sleeping.”  
“Why are you not sleeping?”  
“Can you turn on the lights?”  
“Lights? Now? Why? It’s…three in the morning, it’s too early for light. When it’s time for light you’ll have sunshine as a light.”  
“I’m serious.”  
Sara sighed, got Sofia out of her arms and turned the light on. Drowsy she looked at Sofia for an explanation.   
“And now?”  
“See the sheet that isn’t over my foot?”  
“You made me turn on the light for that?” Sara’s voice was full of disbelieve. Sofia woke her up for something like that? Was she serious?  
“You can put the sheet over your foot, your arms work perfectly.”  
“I don’t mind that my foot isn’t covered, it’s warm.”  
“So why did you wake me up?”  
“There was a fly…”  
“What? You woke me up because of a fly?”  
“Let me finish, it’s not because of the fly. Or not only. This fly was sitting in my toe…”  
“If you’d close your eyes you wouldn’t mind a fly on your toes.”  
“Shut up and let me talk for a second. Just listen, okay?” Sofia was annoyed. If Sara would listen for a minute she’d know why Sofia woke her up. It was important.   
“I didn’t see the fly. If I open my eyes in the middle of the night it’s because I watch you sleeping. No, I didn’t do that this night. I was thinking about us, our conversation earlier and …okay, I come to the point, I can see you’re getting annoyed. I can understand that, I’d be the same if somebody would wake me up in the middle of the night without telling me a proper reason and…”  
“Sofia, the point.” Sara stopped her lover, trying to stay calm.   
“Look at my foot.”  
“The one that isn’t covered.”  
“Yes.”  
Sara sighed and looked at Sofia’s foot. If that the thing that made the blonde happy and let her go back to sleep, she’d do that.   
“And now?”  
“Look!” Sofia’s voice got excited, more than it was before.   
Sara kept looking at Sofia’s foot. And looked again. Did she see right or were her eyes still asleep?  
“My eyes must be still asleep I can see you moving your toe.” The brunette sighed and rubbed her eyes.   
“Yes, I know. I MOVED my toe when I FELT the fly! Sara, I can move my left toes, the big one, haven’t tried the others or the right foot, but I can move the left toe!”  
“Really?” A stupid question, Sara saw it and Sofia moved her toe again. Not much, but a little bit. It was definitely moving.   
“What’s about the leg? The other foot?” Now Sara’s voice was full of excitement too.   
“Right now I can’t move the leg…and not the right foot. Damn.”  
“Hey, you can move your toe, that’s a start. You’re getting your feeling in your legs back. You’ve to call your doc and your physio.”  
“They’ll be very delighted if I call them right now. Even my fiancé wanted to kill me for waking her up.” Sofia grinned.   
“I had no idea why you woke me up. If you had told me right from the beginning that you can move your toe…”  
“Somebody didn’t let me finish my sentence.”  
“They were…oh well, doesn’t matter. You can move your toe.” Sara pulled Sofia in her arms and kissed her happy.   
“You know what that means, Sara.”  
“You might be out of the wheelchair soon.”  
“That too. And next year when we come to here, we might be married – at last!”   
“Means I really have to think what you should wear. What about your birthday suit?”  
“If you wear yours, honey. In that case we should have a look for a Caribbean wedding.”  
“Having a sex on the beach before we have sex on the beach?”  
“Sounds like a great plan to me. Let’s get the rest of my legs moving. Come on legs, moved. Right foot, move. Tickle Sara.” Nothing. Sofia’s legs and her right foot stayed where they were.   
“Well, one toe it’s a beginning. Don’t try it too hard, tonight. Maybe the right foot wants to wake you up tomorrow night.” Sara turned off the light and got Sofia back in her arms, kissed her ear and the side of her throat.   
“You’re right. It’s a good sign. If I can move my toe in the morning, I’m happy. Do you think it’s only temporarily that I can move it?”  
“No, your paraplegic is temporarily, this will be the beginning of your old freedom. If you have the feeling in your foot back you won’t lose it again. You’re coming closer to taking out the rubbish daily.”  
“At the moment I look forward to do that. As crazy as it sounds.”  
“Anything else you’re looking forward to?”  
“Yes.” Sofia turned and placed her lips on Saras. “I could show you what I’m looking forward to do – with more freedom and the ability to use my legs.” She got herself on top of the brunette and kissed her passionately. There were so many things she wanted to do with Sara, but she could show her a few things right now. 

„What’s my favorite toe doing?“ Sara came back from her walk with Tobey. Sofia sat on the bed, having the breakfast tray next to her.   
“Moving.” She moved her toe. “I called my doc already. We’re not supposed to be over the moon, but it’s a good time. On the other side a moving toe doesn’t mean I’ll run a marathon next month.”  
“Even when this accident had never happened, I’d not let you run a marathon. It’s not healthy and it makes no sense. You wanna go so far, take a damn car. No need to punish your body to run such a distance.”  
Sofia smiled. “That’s why I love you, you’re so sensible.”  
“Of course I am.” She sat next to her fiancé and grinned.   
“What? There’s something. You have something. What did you do?” Sofia knew she had all reasons to be suspicious when Sara smiled like that.   
“I’ve got a gift for you.”  
“Why do you smile like that? Why do you smile like a demon when you’ve got gift for me? What is wrong with this gift?”  
“Nothing.”  
“But?”  
“No but.”  
“I don’t believe you.”  
“In that case you won’t get your gift.” Sara stood up.  
“Oh come on, that’s not fair.”  
“Life isn’t fair.”  
“Tell me about it. That’s not a reason why my lover shouldn’t be fair. Because life’s a bitch you’re supposed to be nice to me. I made breakfast for you.”  
“And I get some cream for you.”  
“Thanks…but…oh well…I’ll annoy you after breakfast.”  
“You annoy me and I’ll take Tobey and leave you alone.”  
“You wouldn’t do that.”  
“Are you daring me?”  
“Yes. Yes I do because I know you love me and you don’t leave me alone.”  
“Maybe you’re right.” Sara put the cream next to Sofia and kissed her. “But that doesn’t change anything about your gift. You’ll have to wait.”  
“How can you be so beautiful and so mean?”  
“Came together in the packet.”   
“I love you anyway.” Sofia moved her toe. “I think the other ones are moving a little bit too. If I keep on trying I might be able to move them all tonight.”  
“Don’t get too excited, Honey.” Sara put her hand on Sofia’s shoulder. She was happy that the blonde was able to move a toe but she didn’t want to see her down again because nothing else happened.   
“I won’t, I promise. But I’ll try to move them.”  
“You should. Wanna try down at the beach?”  
“What a question. Of course I do. Sitting in the sand with my fav girl and my fav dog.”  
“You meant only, didn’t you?”  
“Sure. What did I say?”  
“Nothing, Love, nothing.” Sara bopped Sofia’s side and took their breakfast tray. “Shall I make some sandwiches for lunch?”  
“No, I’ll spoil us and send you to buy some fries and fish…salad for you. Then we can sit at Venice beach, watch all the strange people, eat and talk about them.”  
“You’ve got a strange taste of how we can spend our time.”  
“I’m a strange woman.”  
“No comment on that.” Sara stopped the water. The dishes could soak in and they’d wash them later. She packed a few treats for Tobey and some juice in the cooler together with some fruits. Sofia’s idea of eating at Venice beach was not her cup of tea. At least not if that meant, they had to get some food from these little, most of the times dirty, shops and fast food shops. She preferred her own food in that case. Or a quick stop in the next VANS to grab something there. That made her feel better and healthier. 

They strolled around the Venice beach for an hour, got some drinks and started to make their way to the sand.   
“I know there was something missing in Los Angeles.” Sofia sighed when they were standing in front of the sand. “How am I suppose to come with my wheels down to the water? Or at least a few yards away from the path? I don’t have a four wheel drive.”  
“I can try to pull and push, but I’m afraid I’m not strong enough.” Sara looked at the small wheels and the sand. They wouldn’t make a yard this way.  
“Or I play Super-Sara and carry you.”  
“Honey, we need your back, breaking your back won’t help us. Or do you want us to have a disability house? I’m not sure we can train Tobey to be a social worker or a nurse.”  
“Would look interesting when we dress him up like a nurse…no, not?” Sara looked at Tobey and the Rottweiler didn’t look that happy at her.   
“You ladies need some help?” Two of the men who were working out not too far away came to them.   
“We need a path or a four wheel drive wheelchair.” Sofia said. “I’m not that good in sand.”  
“You can try to get that or you take two strong guys. May I?” The blond one asked, got his hands under Sofia and lifted her out of the wheel chair like she weight nothing. His friend took the wheelchair.   
“Where would you like to be? How about down at the lifeguards? Some shade and something to look at.”  
“Perfect idea. Can we keep you guys?” Sofia grinned. Usually she didn’t like it when guys tried to impress her with their strength, this was very handy. And they didn’t do this to impress them, Sara and Sofia really needed some help.   
“Maybe you can get a kind of slide and use your dog for pulling. He looks like he’s strong, beautiful guy.” The black guy said watching Tobey who didn’t take his eyes off the guys. They had Sofia, Tobey had to make sure they didn’t do anything to his mommy. Sara had to hold him back and put a hand on his back when the blonde guy lifted Sofia. Tobey had wanted to stop him.   
“Like a pony? I could call him ‘Black Beauty’ then.”  
“Would suit him perfect.” He let Sofia down in the sand.   
“Wow, thank you very much.”  
“No problem at all. We’re working out for another one or two hours. If you need some help to come back just give us a call and we’ll get you back to the promenade.”  
“We will. Thanks again.” Sara said.   
“Our pleasure.” They waved and walked back.   
“There are nice people in Los Angeles, I can’t understand why everybody is complaining about them. They made me being in the sand.” Sofia let the sand run through her fingers. “And they had really good ideas. In the shade, next to the lifeguards, they knew what women want.”  
“You want to stare at a lifeguard? Does that mean I can go and leave you with your dream man?”  
“First of all everything that’s related to my dreams is automatically related to you, second I never want you to go anywhere without me and third, the man is a woman. At least she looks like a woman to me.” Sofia pointed at the woman who walked down the lifeguard tower. “I can’t see much of her but I’m sure she’s not as sexy as you are, Honey.”  
“Probably only half of my age.”  
“See, that would look so ridiculous if I try to hit on somebody who’s only half OUR age. I’m not an old desperate man. I’m a happy engaged woman, having the one she loves and wants to marry right next to her.”  
“Being carried by this guy gave you a little boost, didn’t it?”  
Sofia only smiled. Yes she enjoyed that and no, she wouldn’t mind if they would do that more often to her. Maybe she could use one of them as a nurse…or both.  
“Am I not allowed to have a little bit of joy in my life?”  
“You are.” Sara took the sun crème and started to apply it on Sofia’s shoulder.   
“I like that.” Sofia closed her eyes and enjoyed Sara’s hands on her body. “You can do that for my whole body if you like.”  
“I do like that, I like having my hands on you.”  
“Do you like having your lips on mine?”  
Instead of an answer Sara simply kissed Sofia and pulled her close in her arms. This could be the perfect holiday, being on the beach, sitting in the sand, the ocean in front of them. The shame was, they couldn’t jump up to go swimming, they could go surfing, they had to stay on the beach.   
“Do you want your gift now?” Sara whispered.  
“It’s a gift you can give me in public?” Sofia smirked.  
“Yes it is. You and your dirty thoughts all the time.”  
“Only because you make me think dirty.” And because the last gift Sara gave her. The fluffy cuffs. Sofia had to be cautious with this woman by her side.   
“Don’t blame your weakness on me.”  
“You are my weakness. A weakness I want to keep for the rest of my life because it’s also my biggest strength. I love you.”  
“I love you too, even if you’re a little show-off and enjoy being carried by little future Schwarzeneggers.”  
“Imagine I can say in twenty years that our governor carried me one summer day. What a great story for our grandchildren.”  
“Grandchildren?”  
“I’m dreaming, don’t wake me up.”  
“You’re living in a fantasy.”  
“A fantasy in that we’re an old married couple is a good fantasy.”  
“It sounds like my fantasy.” Sara placed a little box in Sofia’s hands. “For you.”  
“What is it?” It felt solid and somehow…she could move the things in the box. There were little piece inside. Something to build? A game? Curious Sofia tear the paper away, looked at the little back and at Sara, back to the bag and to Sara.   
“Are you kidding me?”  
“No.” It was hard for Sara to stay serious, the face of her lover was too hilarious.   
“Sure?”  
“It is something that I missed on you for a few months and I think you’ll need it soon. Will make you look very sexy and dangerous and…”  
“Fuck, you are kidding me! You little bitch.” Sofia moved her upper body, used all her strength and pulled Sara in the sand, her on top of the brunette. Their lips met.   
“I should arrest you for that.” Sofia said when her lips kissed Sara’s ears.   
“Why? It’s not a crime to give toothpicks to your girlfriend. And you’ll need them when you’re working again. For waiting at a public phone for me, interrogate a suspect, walking Tobey. A sexy lieutenant needs sexy toothpicks. I specially asked for sexy toothpicks…”  
“Shut up!” Sofia kissed Sara. Maybe she should do that for the rest of the day, that way Sara couldn’t tease her anymore. Sexy toothpicks. There weren’t anything like sexy toothpicks only sexy lieutenants having toothpicks while they were waiting for hours for the sexy investigator to appear. One day Sofia would find the evidence that Sara had let her wait for hours on purpose and then the saying ‘payback is a bitch’ would get a new meaning. 

Sara came in the room. She had left Sofia for half an hour alone to go down to a shop and get some new drinks and food.   
“Catch it!”   
“Huh?” Luckily Sofia’s reflex was better than she thought. She caught the basketball before she realized what was flying towards her.   
“What are you doing?”  
“Playing ball.”  
“Why did you buy a basketball?”  
“They had a sport thing going on in the shop: buy two boxes of beer and get a basketball, baseball, football or soccer ball for free. I picked the basketball.”  
“Two boxes of beer? Big or small ones?”  
“Big ones of course.”  
“Who is suppose to drink them?”  
“We. Not all while we’re here, but I’m sure we’ll handle it within the next weeks. Now we’ve got a basketball.”  
“And two boxes of beer.”  
“Yes.” Sara sat half on the table and looked at Sofia.   
“What?” The blonde could feel her lover wanted to say something.  
“If I ask you something can you promise me not to answer with ‘what am I suppose to do there’ please?”  
“Okay.”  
“I’d like to go with behind the building there’s a basketball field and we could play a little bit with the new ball.”  
Sofia looked at Sara and didn’t say a word.   
“You can say something.”  
“How am I suppose to play basketball? I can move my toe a bit, that’s not the same like running around and jumping a yard to score a basket.”  
“You played basketball you can still score more points than I can. I never played it before.”  
“Yes I played it before the accident. Things that happened before the accident don’t help me anymore because now it’s after the accident.”  
“In that case I should leave you alone and take another room.”  
“Why?”  
“Because you fell in love with me before the accident, now it’s after the accident that means, your feelings from last years don’t count anymore.”  
“That’s stupid, Sara…”  
“Is it?”  
“Feelings don’t change because of an accident.”  
“The last time I checked they threw the ball with their arms and didn’t kick them. It’s a basketball and not a soccer ball.”  
“How am I suppose to play when I sit in the wheel chair? Do you want me to roll my chair and dribble before I throw? I might be able to do that but when I start to throw all you need to do is lift your arm and catch my ball. You’ve two foot on me.”  
“Well I’ll sit in an office chair. They’ve an old one and that means I’ll be sitting too, we’re the same height and I can’t walk either. I can use my legs to move my chair that’s my advantage but for that you know how to score a point. I think it’s fair.”  
“You planed that.”  
“I got the idea when I saw the old office chair and when they had this sport thing in the shop I took it as a sign. We don’t have to do it, it was only an idea.”  
“You would like to try it.”  
“Only if you think you can enjoy it.”  
“Do I get a cold beer after that game?”  
“What do you think of two and some steaks? I bought two steaks for you, we can use the barbeque and have some beer.”  
“If you had started the conversation like that you would have saved yourself a lot of trouble. You know you get me with beer and steaks.”  
“Does that mean I don’t need to get the chocolate ice cream out? I can save that for later when I want to get a favor of you.”  
“Chocolate ice cream?” Sofia’s heart jumped. She could feel it, it jumped to the top of her head, waved and fell back to it’s place.   
“Yeah I figured if beer and steaks don’t do it, chocolate ice cream will.”  
“You’re calculating, Miss Sidle!”  
“I do, yes. I know you, Miss Curtis.”  
“Lieutenant Curtis.”  
“You’re on holidays, nobody cares about your rank.”  
“Bitch.”  
“Winning bitch. Get your lazy ass of the bed and come out. I’ll put everything in the fridge and freezer and then we’ll see you losing to me.”  
“You’re arrogant.”  
“I spend a lot of time with you, one day your bad habit has to take over me.”  
“Get lost!”  
Sara formed her lips to a kiss and walked into the kitchen with the groceries. When she came to the basketball field Sofia was already there, testing how to throw in the unusual position she was in. Sara took the office chair and rolled herself over to her lover.   
“You’re playing unfair by practicing.”  
“My little advantage. Sit back.”  
“Why?”  
“Don’t ask, do it.” Sara sat back on her chair. Sofia came to her, took a rope and tied Sara to her chair.   
“This way you want get up.”  
“You don’t trust me!”  
“I do trust you but you’re used to get up when you want to reach something up high. It’s a natural reflex you can’t control all the time.”  
Sara wanted to say that Sofia was making that up the give herself an advantage but she knew the blonde was right.   
“Alright even if I think you only want me tied up because you’re like to have me tied up in any way.”  
“You can’t prove that.”  
“You’re scared to lose.”  
“I won’t lose.”  
“No need to tie me up.”  
“Okay, maybe I like you tied up…I’ve to have a look for my cuffs for later…”  
“You’ll too busy with crying later.”  
“I won’t cry and if I’d do that it’s your job as my girl-friend to take me in your arms and tell me everything is alright, cover my face with sweet kisses and have sweet little sex with me to make me happy again.”  
“In your dreams.”  
“No in my dream I do that to you because I win and you lose.”  
“Stop talking and start playing.”  
“Alright.” Sofia let the ball roll on the top of her left index finger. “I hope The Count is around we’ll need somebody who takes care of all the points I’ll score.” And with this the ball flew straight through the basket without touching the edge. Sofia grinned. Maybe basketball wasn’t that bad even in a wheelchair. It looked like she still had the feeling how to score and win. This was a good idea of Sara, like most of the brunette’s ideas. Another reason why Sofia loved Sara so much. 

September

„If we go on like this we’ll make a mile top today.“ Sofia grumbled. She and Sara were in the Kings Canyon National Park for the day. Sofia, who was able to walk since two weeks had insistent they use today for a walk in the national park. She didn’t want to sit in her wheelchair, she wanted to practice walking and building up some muscles. For her help she had crutches, but after 100 yards she needed to rest.   
“No need to hurry.” Sara stroke her lover’s back. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”  
“This is an easy walk, they say you need half an hour. We’ll never make in that time.”  
“Even we need two hours, the only things that counts is, that we are together, that we are here, that Tobey enjoys our day out and that you practice. We walk this one walk this morning, do the other one in the afternoon and then we’ll go home.”  
“Maybe we should take the wheelchair. At least I’d be faster with it.”  
“But you want to walk. Why do you start to hurry? We don’t have to hurry.”  
“I don’t want you and Tobey to be bored.”  
“Honey.” Sara wrapped her arms around Sofia, kissed her softly. “I’m not bored. I like to stroll around, if I want to hurry, I can go working. This is holiday, we’re having a lazy day, no need to hurry.”  
“Lazy day? I work my ass off.”  
“Yes, I have to say, I really love to see your ass again. You know, this tight jeans, it’s really nice to look around when you’re a few steps ahead.”  
“You’re staring at my rear end?”  
“Whenever I get the chance, yes. I’m guilty.”   
“Well, I do the same with you, we’re even.” Sofia smirked. “Come on, let’s go on. I want to make this stupid walk in day time.”  
“More time for hidden kiss in the dark.” Sara grinned and got up.   
“Don’t try to distract me. Step by step I’ll get my life back. I want to work as a lieutenant at the end of the year. And I’m not talking about pen-pushing. I want to chase bad guys, kick their asses and come home dirty and with scratches.”  
“I don’t need the scratch part.”  
“A little scratch makes me look more dangerous. Like: I’ve got a scratch, wanna know what the other one has?”  
“Yes, you’re a bad ass cop, I know.” Sara chuckled and jumped so that Sofia’s left crutch couldn’t get her.   
“Stop teasing me.”  
“Make me stop.”  
“I will.” The blonde picked up the speed. She was sure jogging was possible with these things if you tried it hard. Letting Sara making fun of her the whole time was nothing Sofia could accept.   
“You’ve got two trained legs and a dog, that’s not fair.” Sofia stopped to catch her breath.   
“You’ve got a huge ego, use it.”  
“I try but it’s not carrying me. Won’t you carry me?”  
“No, I’m sorry. I carry your chocolate.”   
”Chocolate?” Sara had never told her there was chocolate in the backpack. Sofia had assumed it was packed with water and fruits.   
“Yes, I’ve got chocolate in here. One for reaching half way, one for being back at the car and some for lunch, the walk later and the drive home.”  
“That sounds like a lot of chocolate.”  
“Let me say it this way: it will be too much chocolate for me alone but if you’re getting pussy I’ll eat it alone. Depends on you.”  
“I’m no pussy.” Sofia’s eyes started to sparkle with fire. “Don’t you dare to say that again.”  
“Meow.”  
“Bitch.” The blonde tried to walk faster. Lucky for them they were the only ones on this path at the moment. With their swearing, parents wouldn’t be happy to have them around.   
Sara sat on a bench and waited until Sofia was there.   
“Have you been anywhere else? I’m waiting for you for hours.” The brunette mocked.   
“Cheeky bitch.” Sofia grabbed Sara’s collar, pulled her to herself and kissed her. “I’ll teach you a lesson to mock me.”  
“Really?” Sara held on to Sofia so that their lips stayed together.   
“Mhm.”  
“I don’t think I need some lessons in mocking you, I’m quite good at it. Come on, enough break, your breath is steady we can walk on. Wanna hold me hand while we walk?”  
“That makes me even slower because I can’t use the crutch than.”  
“Would it be worth it?”  
“Stupid question.” Sofia kissed Sara. She was slow with the crutch, by holding Sara’s hand she’d even slower but she could hold Sara’s hand. These five minutes more wouldn’t change anything. 

“I owe you a hike.” Sofia said and closed her eyes. They were lying on a blanket in the sun. Their second hike for today was the ‘Big Stump Trail’ that would take them in an hour through what once was giant sequoia. All that was left were stumps and piles of 100 – years – old sawdust.   
“Mhm.” Sara’s hand was caressing Sofia hair while she lay with closed eyes next to her lover and enjoyed the sun on her face.   
“Mount Whitney.”  
“We can do that next year.”  
“Yeah…what a shame, we were allowed to make the hike this year.”  
“We try it now and will need more than two days.”  
“We would die on our way because I’m so slow, the snow would catch us before we’re on the top and I don’t think we get a horseback trip.”  
“Your legs are not exactly good for riding at the moment, Sofia. You need more strength in them.”  
“I hate being that useless and slow.”  
“You are not useless.”  
“I delay everything.”  
“So did Dory and she was my favorite character in ‘Finding Nemo’, you’re on the safe side. Besides, you don’t delay anything, I told you before, we’ve got all the time in the world. Or don’t you enjoy the time with me?”  
“Stupid question. Again. I love nothing more than being with you.”  
“See, stop thinking stupid things then I don’t have to ask stupid things.”  
“I might think better with more chocolate…”  
“Maybe you’ve finished it all.”  
“No, I haven’t. I’m sure you packed enough.”   
“Have a look.”   
That was thing didn’t need to say twice. Sofia opened the backpack and started looking for her beloved chocolate.   
“I knew it, chocolate.” Sofia took a big bite. “Want some too?”  
“No thanks, I’m fine.”  
“You can’t make me feel guilty by not eating chocolate.”  
“I don’t try to make you feel guilty. I’m happy when you’re happy. If it’s chocolate that makes you happy, you’ll get chocolate.”  
“Yes, it makes me happy. But having you makes me happier. You know, Hon, we need to make plans for Christmas.”  
“What?” Sara sat up. “Why?” It was three months until Christmas, why should they waste a thought about it now?   
“What days we wanna have off.”  
“It won’t be the Christmas days, what do you think of 27th and 28th? We can celebrate a late Christmas again.”  
“Sounds good to me. No matter if later or earlier as long as we celebrate. I love kissing you under the mistletoe. And buying a million presents for you.”  
“I hate presents.”  
“No, you like them, you just don’t know how to react when you get a present. They make you feel uncomfortable what adds the fun for me. You always try to make it up to me when I give you something, so cute. Sara, I know I told you a million times and I’ll tell you again when it’s Christmas time, I love buying things for you, I love thinking for hours what you might like, what might you make happy and what you’re missing in your life without knowing it. It’s like spending time with you but I spend it by thinking of you.”  
“Can’t we just say we don’t buy anything for each other?”  
“No, we can’t. I have already your first gift.”  
“What?” Her ears must be blocked by something or there was a connection in her brain not working properly. Sara understood Sofia had already a gift for her. There were another three months until Christmas.   
“Yes, I do.”  
“I hate you right now.”  
“No, you don’t. You love me.”  
“Why do you have a gift for me?”  
“Because I found the perfect one.”  
“What if I buy it myself until Christmas?”  
“Oh, you won’t. You don’t know that you want it.”  
“I know exactly what I want and what I don’t want.”  
“Yeah, I know. Let me rephrase it: You’re not aware of that you really want this. But when you have it, you’ll love it and you don’t want to give it away.”  
“Did you buy wedding rings?”  
“No, I thought we should choose them together.”  
“Good thinking.”  
“You’ll love it, trust me.”  
“I trust you. And now I’ll think for three months what to buy for you, will panic a week before Christmas because I can’t think of anything proper and feel guilty for weeks. That’s why I don’t like Christmas. It puts pressure on you, you fail and then you’ll feel guilty. I don’t think Christmas is about presents. It’s about…I don’t know…the birth of God’s son…if you want to believe that. If you don’t, like me, then there’s no reason to celebrate it. Why should I celebrate the birth of somebody I don’t know anyway?”  
Sofia had turned, laid on her belly, her head rested on her hands and looked at Sara. The blonde was totally amazed by her fiancé.   
“What?” Sara asked.  
“I love you.” Sofia sighed with a wide grin. “You are special.”  
“Stop buying things for me if you really love me.”  
“No, I won’t. Your birthday is soon…”  
“Don’t remind me.”  
“To be exact, in two days…”  
“Stop it now!”  
“I’ll wrap myself in paper and send me to your lab, as a special birthday surprise.”  
“I’d prefer to unwrap you at home, where we’re alone.”  
“Alright, I can arrange that.”  
“I’d love to have you as my only birthday gift.”  
“Won’t happen.”  
“Sofia.” Sara rolled her eyes.   
“Yes Love?”  
“Why do you do all these things to me?”  
“Call it love.”  
“Can’t you love me without buying things?”  
“I can but as I told you, I enjoy it too much. I know there’re many relationships in the world, where people don’t give each other anything, I don’t like that. I love to buy little things for you whenever I see something, without a special reason. Like when I got the book for you, that you wanted to read. Or little things like reading your mind and buying the perfect dessert for our dinner. That sparkle in your eyes when I served you tiramisu was great.”  
“That was a nice surprise.” Sara smiled.   
“Like you do these little things for me. Buying me a new shirt because I hate shopping in a wheelchair or with the crutches. Getting a photo poster of our holidays for my office so that I can dream of these great times whenever I’m stuck in paperwork. I’m not into buying overpriced expensive things, you know that. We both appreciate little things, so I love finding the little things that make our life nicer.”  
“The best thing in my life is you, nothing will ever come even close to you.” Sara pulled Sofia in her arms and kissed her. 

December

Sofia sneaked out of the living room to the hallway and put some Christmas decoration on the wall. Sara was reading and Sofia thought, the hallway really needed some decoration. Her not really big Christmas fan had refused to put anything in here, having it the last Christmas-free room in the house. Well, that was over, Christmas arrived in the hallway and Sofia smirked. Sara knew her weakness for Christmas and she knew, Sofia loved to have the whole house decorated and it was not that the decoration caused any harm. It was there, it looked beautiful and it made you feel like Christmas.   
The doorbell got her attention. It was five in the afternoon, too early for her parents who were supposed to be here at seven.   
She opened the door, squeaked and jumped – straight in Felix’ arms.  
“I missed you.” She pressed a big kiss on his cheek.   
“Wow, it’s really Christmas. The most beautiful women in the entire world jumped in my arms and she kissed me. I consider myself as the luckiest guy on earth now. My Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“My rock star. How was the drive?”  
“Alright. The highway was empty and I managed to come here in a new record time.”  
“Do I have to call my colleagues and ask them to lose your speed ticket?”  
“I was so fast, they didn’t catch me.”   
“Reminds me of my girlfriend.”  
“Speaking about the angel, where is she?”  
“Living room.”  
“Oh well, let’s go.” He made no preparations to let Sofia down, instead he carried her.   
“I can walk, Felix.”  
“I know, I’m glad you can but I love to have you close to me.”  
“You’re horrible.”  
“Yes I am. There she is, Supervisor Sexy.”  
“Felix! Hey…is everything alright with Sofia?” Her lover walked again, she was working again, but Sara still worried about her.   
“I’m fine, he refused to let me walk myself, wants to have me in his arms.”  
“She jumped in my arms.”  
“In that case she has no reason to complain.” Sara got up and hugged Felix. It was the 27th of December, Sara and Sofia had both worked on Christmas and Boxing Day. Today was their personal Christmas and they had invited Felix and Sofia’s parents to celebrate with them. Felix had also worked on Christmas and so had Sofia’s mother.   
“I don’t complain.” Sofia got out of Felix’s arms. “I wanted to let you know why I was carried.”  
“The less you use your legs the less chocolate you’ll get.”  
“Meany.”   
“You’re still fighting the chocolate fight?” Felix laughed.   
“Yeah, one day I’ll be independ*ent again and make my own decision when and how much of the brown gold I can eat.”  
“You mean, after we separate?” Sara asked sweet.  
“I don’t want to separate from you. I love you. Don’t make me choose between you and chocolate.”  
“If you’d be mine, I’d bring you every day chocolate.” Felix smiled.  
“Felix, I’ll kick you out of the house if you ever say something like that again. That is my fiancé, get your own one…what happened to your girlfriend anyway? Where is she? She was invited too.” The last time they had met Felix he was in a relationship and seemed to be happy.”  
“It’s over.”  
“What?”  
“Why?” Sofia took Felix’s arm. “What happened?”  
“It wasn’t right. I didn’t feel for me like the real thing, like she was the one. So I thought before I waste our time, I tell it’s over. Saved me a Christmas gift too.”  
“You’re awful.” Sofia bopped his side.   
“They’re all not half as wonderful as you are, Lieutenant Lascivious.”  
“Stop chasing ghosts, no woman is like Sofia. She’s one of a kind and she’s mine.” Sara wrapped her arms around Sofia.   
“There’s no little sister?”  
“You can ask my parents when they’re here but as far as I know, I don’t have a sister.”   
“What a pity. But I look forward to see the captain.”  
“Does she have a nickname too?”  
“You think she’d love to be Captain Cute?”  
“I think she’ll kick your ass if you call her that, but give it a try.” Sofia laughed. She wanted to see the face of her mother when Felix called her Captain Cute. 

“That will be Sofia’s parents.” Sara called when the doorbell rang. She was in the kitchen, preparing the last little things for dinner.   
“I open the door.” Felix offered. Sofia was with Tobey out so that the dog was alright for the rest of the evening. Only if you wanted to be mean you’d say she went away to be away from her parents.   
“Where is Sofia?”  
“Out.”  
“She’s trying to get away, that’s so typically.”   
“Smart lieutenant.”   
“Coward.” Sara mumbled. She put the plates on the table and took one last look at everything. Perfect. The table looked like it was taken out of a magazine for housewives and the wine had the right temperature. All she needed for the perfect family picture was the family.   
“Sara, darling.” Sofia’s mother hugged Sara. “How are you?”  
“I’m fine, thanks. How are you?”  
“Wonderful. I see you’ve got a butler now”  
“Yeah, we thought we need some extravagance.”  
“Hellos Sara.” Sofia’s father hugged her. “Where is our daughter? Did she run away again?”  
“Yes.” No point in lying. They knew their daughter.   
“I knew it. Since she can walk again she uses it to get away from her parents. It’s like when she was a child. Always on the run.”  
“She got that from her father.” Sofia’s mother said. “He is also always away when you need him.”  
“An avoiding personality. I’m here, mother.” Sofia came in the kitchen via the back door. Tobey by her side, who overtook her to say hello to the guests.   
“At least you don’t let us wait for hours.”  
“I’ve to train my muscles, the best way to do so is walking and jogging. I need to be fit to be good in my job again.”  
“You were always good in your job and you will always be good in your job, Honey.” Her father hugged her. “Merry Christmas, Baby.”  
“I’m not a baby anymore.”  
“You’ll always be the baby for us.”  
“I know.” Sofia rolled her eyes, walked to Sara and got her arms around her.   
“We’ve got a little surprise for the two of you.” Sofia’s mother said.   
“A good one?”  
“We hope so. Felix?”   
“He is waiting in the living room.”  
“He?” Sofia furrowed her brows. Who did her mother bring? Did she invite a relative to their dinner? Sofia hoped, if that was the case, it wasn’t anybody she couldn’t stand. It was their Christmas, unloved relative weren’t welcome.   
“Good. Come on, you two. It’s a surprise for both of you.”   
Sara and Sofia looked at each other and followed Sofia’s parents in the living room. A man was standing in front of the glass cabinet. He was dressed in black. Sofia found Sara’s eyes to find out, the brunette thought the same she did.   
“Sofia, Sara, this is Referent Campbell, an old friend of mine.” The captain started. “Referent, my daughter Sofia and her fiancé Sara.”   
A referent? Sofia wasn’t sure what to think. She shook the hand of the man who smiled at her. She guessed him in his early fifties.   
“Could you explain that to us, mother? Please.”  
“Sure I can. You and Sara got engaged last Christmas I thought it’s a nice idea if you get married this year. You told me, you want to get married but there’s this problem with the law and you wanted to wait until you can walk again. You can walk, the law hasn’t changed but I thought you might consider an unofficial wedding. I read up on these things, if you want to get married, like in a legal partnership, you need to move. A marriage should be a promise between two people who love each other and I think it’s more important to make this promise to God than to a state. God doesn’t lie, the state – well, a state has it’s own kind of truth. Referent Campbell and me are friends since high school and he can be the one who makes your wedding wish true.”  
“He’s a referent, none of the churches approve same sex marriage.” Sara said.   
“I’ve always been a little bit more modern than my colleagues.” Referent Campbell smiled. “I think God brings people together who love each other and he doesn’t care if they are man and woman, man and man or woman and woman. It’s about love. A marriage is a promise of eternal love.”  
“It won’t be legal”  
“Not for the state, for God it will.”  
“You can’t get married in California the legal way. Not now.” Sofia’s father said. “That shouldn’t be a reason not to get married. If you want, you can get married tonight.”  
“We don’t have any rings…” Sofia started.  
“Of course you do.” Felix grinned and got a little box out of his pocket.   
“What?”  
“Remember when we were talking about wedding rings? You showed me which ones you and Sara want. I am a smart man, I remembered that, got your size and arranged your rings. Of course with the little engraving you wanted to have. The rings are no reason to say no, it’s all here, all we need for a wedding is the two of you saying: I do.”  
“Uhm…” Sara started.   
“I think we’ll give you a little time, that was all very surprising.” Referent Campbell said.  
“Yeah…uhm…you can go into the kitchen, dinner is ready. Felix, could you serve?”  
“Sure thing, Supervisor Sexy. I’ve to say that now, if you’re married I can’t say things like that anymore.” He grinned and guided everybody out of the living room, not without closing the door behind himself.   
Sara looked at Sofia.   
“You’re parents and Felix had a secret.”  
“Yes, they worked against us.”  
“You think it was against us?”  
“No.” She embraced Sara. “No, I think they did this because they wanted to do what is best for us. What do you think, Sara?”  
“What I think? I’m surprised. I’m…touched…I…do you want to marry me?”  
“You know I do,” Sofia kissed Sara. “But is it enough for you to get married like this? Not in a legal way.”  
“You heard the referent, it’s more important to promise your love to God. I guess this will the only chance we have to promise our love to God. There won’t be many referents like him.”  
“I know. We wanted to get married, I can walk again, but…”  
“But?”  
“We don’t have our wedding dresses.”  
“We do.”  
“We do?” Sofia looked surprised.   
“Yes, if it’s okay with you. You told me I can make a decision what you are supposed to wear on our wedding day.”  
“Yes?”  
“Well, I would like you to wear exactly the same you wore when we met in the motel. You still have that suit and it will always remind me of this day we found each other again, the day that made all this happen. I can’t imagine you in anything nicer than this suit, putting the picture back in my head, how we met again.”  
Sofia pulled Sara closer and kissed her passionately.   
“I love you, Sara.”  
“I love you too, Sofia. Can I understand your kiss as a yes?”  
“We need to dress you up. Do you still have the clothes you wore that day?”  
“As a matter of facts, yes I do. How could I throw them away?”  
“Would you wear them to our wedding?” Sofia liked Sara’s idea. They didn’t have a picture of their first meeting after three years, with their wedding photos in the same outfit they wore at that day, it was like having a picture of the past taken.   
“I do.”  
“I do too. See, we know what to say, I think we can get married.”  
“We can.” Sara kissed Sofia. Yes, they would get married tonight. In their special dress, on their special Christmas day. They weren’t an ordinary couple, they were special. This kind of wedding would fit perfect to them and their life. It couldn’t be better.


End file.
